Instant cunt identifiers

[cloggypop]

23 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Fireworks on the 31st of December. They’re for Bommy night, you insufferable cunt-heads.

Never do NYE in the Netherlands Tone. You'd hate it. 

[cloggypop]

People who can't stop coughing yet insist on going in the silent carriage on the train. 

[Captain Turdseye]

17 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

Fireworks on the 31st of December. They’re for Bommy night, you insufferable cunt-heads.

 

Last couple of nights round ours have made me appreciate what it must be like living in Yemen. Except I had chocolate and a couple of glasses of Jack Daniels. 

[Rushies tash]

Trying to park up in Bushy Park. Except I can't because of the cunts taking up two spaces in their fucking Audis.

[Section_31]

Anyone with money whom, when asked how they because successful, responds with: "hard work!".

 

Look, unless you worked down a mine from the age of 14, bought a ship and started your own Victorian era trading company, that's almost certainly not true.

[Harry Squatter]

Hard work and a shitload of money off my mum and dad.

 

Also people born after the war who seem to think they fought at Dunkirk. 

[A Red]

Yeah, hard work, thats all it takes. Tell that to some poor sod working in a 3rd world country 12 hours a day, 7 days a week for barely fuck all.

 

Luck! Without luck you have no chance.

[General Dryness]

2 hours ago, A Red said:

Yeah, hard work, thats all it takes. Tell that to some poor sod working in a 3rd world country 12 hours a day, 7 days a week for barely fuck all.

 

Luck! Without luck you have no chance.

Then you get cunts that say shit like "you make your own luck ".

 

Get fucked.

[magicrat]

6 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

Then you get cunts that say shit like "you make your own luck ".

 

Get fucked.

Never forget nepotism 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Anyone who, when talking to you, hears something they want to listen to elsewhere, then looks away, raises a finger and says "shhhh". You were the one talking, and now you're shushing me?

[ZonkoVille77]

It's not just luck either. It's the sociopathic ability to not give a fuck about your fellow man. 

[cloggypop]

7 hours ago, General Dryness said:

Then you get cunts that say shit like "you make your own luck ".

 

Get fucked.

People who say that should get instantly punched in the nose. 

[magicrat]

People that don't pick up their's dogs shit and then give you abuse for pulling them up about it. 

Cunts should have their faces rubbed in it .

[Dr Nowt]

People who invade your personal space in airport queues you’re not even at the front of, tutting and huffing in an attempt to have you let them go ahead.

 

Xmas Eve elbows were invented for bellends like that.

[Dr Nowt]

See also adults who act like they can’t hold a piss for five minutes and need to go at the exact instant the air hostess is wheeling a massive, cumbersome trolley of hot meals up and down the aisle.

[Section_31]

2 hours ago, cloggypop said:

People who say that should get instantly punched in the nose. 

"It's funnier how the harder you work the luckier you get."

[cloggypop]

57 minutes ago, Dr Nowt said:

People who invade your personal space in airport queues you’re not even at the front of, tutting and huffing in an attempt to have you let them go ahead.

 

Xmas Eve elbows were invented for bellends like that.

I genuinely had this at Schiphol, turned around mid telling the cunt to fuck off and ended up facing Mike Tyson just after he got his facial tattoo accompanied with some absolute skank porn bird. Most surreal experience of my life I reckon. 

[Bjornebye]

People who try to subtly let you know that they are going on a plane. 

[Bjornebye]

7 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

I genuinely had this at Schiphol, turned around mid telling the cunt to fuck off and ended up facing Mike Tyson just after he got his facial tattoo accompanied with some absolute skank porn bird. Most surreal experience of my life I reckon. 

If only you had Anny Road with you. 

[Jairzinho]

42 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

If only you had Anny Road with you. 

He did. Standing behind him.

[Trumo]

1 hour ago, cloggypop said:

I genuinely had this at Schiphol, turned around mid telling the cunt to fuck off and ended up facing Mike Tyson just after he got his facial tattoo accompanied with some absolute skank porn bird. Most surreal experience of my life I reckon. 

 

You must have felt odd being the only one in the vicinity who could pronounce his Ss properly.

[cloggypop]

11 minutes ago, Trumo said:

 

You must have felt odd being the only one in the vicinity who could pronounce his Ss properly.

I tried speaking to him but he's dead quiet and I couldn't understand his mumbling. Ended up with me shaking his hand just as loads of people recognised him taking pictures then the mad Belfast bird I was shagging came back with the tickets shouting rapist at him as I dragged her away. Then we went to Benidorm on her works do. Surreal isn't really doing it justice. 

[Oh Buoy]

"Anythink" 

[jonnyp]

People who don’t glance behind them when walking through a door on the off chance someone maybe walking in behind them and a little common courtesy around holding a door open could apply.

 

People who don’t so much as give you a glance, never mind a nod / smile of thanks, if you’ve held a door open for them. (Usually this action is followed with a loud “No, No, My chuffing pleasure” or similar, from me)

 

And worst of all, people who quickly do a swift rugby side step through a half closing door to avoid either touching the door and/or showing any consideration for their fellow man.

 

You can also add to this, cunts who try to get into an elevator as people are attempting to get out. (Same applies for trains and buses)

[suzy]

6 hours ago, jonnyp said:

People who don’t glance behind them when walking through a door on the off chance someone maybe walking in behind them and a little common courtesy around holding a door open could apply.

 

People who don’t so much as give you a glance, never mind a nod / smile of thanks, if you’ve held a door open for them. (Usually this action is followed with a loud “No, No, My chuffing pleasure” or similar, from me)

 

And worst of all, people who quickly do a swift rugby side step through a half closing door to avoid either touching the door and/or showing any consideration for their fellow man.

 

You can also add to this, cunts who try to get into an elevator as people are attempting to get out. (Same applies for trains and buses)

Agree with every word