Shit things people do on their hols.

[aRdja]

8 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Valium or Librium sorted me out. Although the flight for my honeymoon was a 'mare- we had the do on Saturday, then left home at 1 am on the Monday morning to get to Manchester after about 3 hours' sleep. I took my benzos about an hour before the flight was due to go, and it got delayed for 2 hours. They practically had to wheel me on there, I was almost comatose- on the bright side I fell asleep during the take off and woke up just as we were landing...

Yeah xannies are my best mates for flying. 

[Harry Squatter]

People (mainly Scousers and Cockneys) who exaggerate their accent and make out they are from tougher parts of the city than they really are. 

 

People who go on family holidays but treat it like a piss up with their mates. Getting rat arsed in the bar around midnight while their kids are still up. Usually having no control over them. 

 

Selfish parents who lash their kids in a kids club for the majority of the holiday but then post photos on social media about how great a family holiday they are having. 

 

People who go on city breaks but don't use the metro/buses and spend a fortune on taxis. Knew a couple who went to Paris who didn't "do" public transport and spent hundreds of euros on taxis.

 

People who set up camp in Irish bars for days, watching all day footy and eating egg and chips. 

 

Buying drugs off a local dealer to find out they are shit and a total rip off.

 

Being embarassingly rude to waiters and serving staff. 

 

Going on a 12 hour plane journey to sit on a sun lounger for one week without bothering to leave the hotel complex or at least seeing what the local town is like. 

 

Asking people for advice on places to eat/drink but then wander round aimlessly when you get there. Then moan saying it was shite and a rip off. 

 

 

 

 

[Rico1304]

Turn right

[Bjornebye]

I just fucking hate landing anywhere abroad and hearing a British voice unless it whoever I'm with. It genuinely goes right through me. Yorkshire accents are the worst because the man is normally pushing his chest out and speaking too loud to try and stamp his authority as a 'hard-man'. Ronnie Pickering fuckers 

[Tj hooker]

People who go on city breaks but don't use the metro/buses and spend a fortune on taxis. Knew a couple who went to Paris who didn't "do" public transport and spent hundreds of euros on taxis.

 

Madness getting lost on public transport abroad is a right of passage 

[Alan Sex]

1 hour ago, A Red said:

The mad rush to get on a plane queuing like twats at the departure gate. Your ticket has got your seat number on it, the plane isnt taking off until everyone is on, sit down and chill the fuck out.

 

The mad rush to get off a plane, unless you only have hand luggage you aint getting to your destination any quicker, youve still got to wait for your bags.

 

Twats having a pint at 6.30 am as soon as they hit the airport cos they're on holiday. Same twats later on are in and out of their fucking seats on the plane to get to the bog.

Took a laid back approach this year - don’t do the overhead storage, so no rush to get on at all. Basically waited until just about everyone was on the plane, then a leisurely stroll to get on board. Bonus being the kids had 15 minutes less to sit on a cramped plane doing nothing. 

[Harry Squatter]

People who have offensive footy tattoos. Went to Cyprus and saw 2 Notts Forest fans round the pool with tattoos along the line of "Derby are cunts/nonces". 

 

It might be a laugh showing it off in your local town for local people but its guaranteed to get your head kicked in or get in a fight round the pool when someone sees it and doesn't like it.

 

Also shows you up to be a thick inbred twat. 

[Oh Buoy]

Leave shite reviews with the heading: "AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!" and proceed to bitch about how the rooms were dirty and that the hotel staff didn't fix the problem within minutes of their demand. 

[Anubis]

Leaving your kids in the apartment while you hit the tapas bar to get pissed with your mates.

[Oh Buoy]

4 minutes ago, Anubis said:

Leaving your kids in the apartment while you hit the tapas bar to get pissed with your mates.

Joke thief. 

[Section_31]

There's nothing like all inclusive to make you want to sit in a quiet first class train carriage and read a book.

 

People standing on their tip toes behind you getting agitated in case the food disappears before they get there, most of it shite anyway, boiled burgers, blag Fanta and cakes small enough to make a supermodel ask for seconds. 

[manwiththestick]

Holiday countdowns on Facebook. No one gives a fuck Vicky. 

[sir roger]

The way people carry on on planes.

 

Mate was on a local flight in the USA and was wedged in by the window by a huge lady who turned to him and said ' Are they going to feed us on this plane ' , mate barely looked up

 ' Lets get the fucking doors closed first, eh ? '

[Dr Nowt]

Speaking of taking sleepers on flights. Me and a mate coming back from Thailand at the end of a 3 week party about 20 years ago. Drank the last dregs of our baht out in the airport lounge and had a pair of valiums and a triazolam each in our pockets.

 

Wellied the valiums in the lounge then as we were boarding got the 50ml main course down. Air hostesses came round straight away taking dinner orders and I said no ta because I knew I’d be a goner immediately. Mate is to this day a greedy pig and ordered the works. Last thing I remember is telling him he’d be asleep by the time she’d written his choices down while he mouthed some bravado about being made of sterner stuff than your average.

 

Next thing I knew the air hostess was waking me up and saying we’re at Heathrow. The tablets munched an entire 11 hour flight in one bite, amazing. I came to groggily and looked round to see him fast asleep face-down in his untouched grub. When I thumped him awake he had a mask of sauce and all sorts.

[Bjornebye]

19 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Holiday countdowns on Facebook. No one gives a fuck Vicky. 

Even worse “take me back” then a picture of their gammy feet next to a pool from 6 weeks previous. 

 

[Trumo]

This is more about types of irritants than what they do:

 

I just can't get my head around people who go to all-inclusive resorts and spend all day lounging round the pool, and all night in the bar, never once bothering to see anything outside that resort.

 

People who just want to drink. Shit phrases like "larging it" and "living my one life" make a frequent appearance with these people. If you need to get pissed before you can enjoy something, it was already shit to begin with, so why bother?

 

People who have loads of kids and take them all on holiday, clearly annoyed that they'll have to spend any time with the kids at all.

 

People who can't wait to start slagging places off on the likes of Trip Advisor because of some (very) minor issue that was probably caused by ther own ineptitude in the first place.

[manwiththestick]

Hanging footy towels off their balcony.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I had a shit in the sea in Florida the other year during a busy afternoon 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

I had a shit in the sea in Florida the other year during a busy afternoon 

Thats more civilised behaviour than pretty much every other example given in this thread. 

[Bruce Spanner]

My brother has been to Egypt four fucking times and never seen the Pyramids! FOUR.

 

Egg and chips minfadlack.

 

We are very different people.

[General Dryness]

4 hours ago, Tj hooker said:

Reminds me of flying back from NewYork with my lad we'd done a small upgrade to economy comfort which was 2nd to board behind 1st obviously. 

This woman had been loud when waiting to board telling everyone where she had been too basically being a bore so eventually they call us forward decent sized queue so we hang back till it's virtually zero this woman has joined the line and shows her boarding pass only to get knocked back for only being in economy we laughed like fuck when she passed us about 15 mins later on her way to the back .

Needless to say, you had the last laugh. 

3 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

And you were only going to the Isle of Man.

Precisely the reason for the valium and librium I would have thought.

 

I wouldn't go back there without a nice big bag of crack swishing around my system.

[Rico1304]

We’ve stayed in a few places where you get allocated sun beds. Saves all that fucking about.  

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Rico1304 said:

We’ve stayed in a few places where you get allocated sun beds. Saves all that fucking about.  

Mate this thread is more Benidorm than Bora Bora. Apart from Doctor Troy who went to Basra by the sounds of it. 

[Rico1304]

50 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Mate this thread is more Benidorm than Bora Bora. Apart from Doctor Troy who went to Basra by the sounds of it. 

Ha. One we went to in Cyprus wasn’t posh, I was the on the younger side!

 

in fact it was when we played the second leg of the Real Madrid Euro game. We kind of got friendly with a couple who had 2 kids. He was telling me what a miserable cow his new wife was whilst she was telling my wife how much she hated him. Although to be fair I thought I lost my wallet one night and in an instant he’d offered to lend me money. 

[VladimirIlyich]

3 hours ago, Section_31 said:

There's nothing like all inclusive to make you want to sit in a quiet first class train carriage and read a book.

 

People standing on their tip toes behind you getting agitated in case the food disappears before they get there, most of it shite anyway, boiled burgers, blag Fanta and cakes small enough to make a supermodel ask for seconds. 

That 'blag fanta' actually has about 70% orange juice in it while the 'real stuff' has less than half and the rest is just sugar. Its one of the few good things about those all inclusive hotels.