Premier League Round Up (Sep 9-11 2017)

[tlw content]

*sigh* Ok, let’s get this over with. You know it was a bad weekend when the only crumb of comfort was a Mark Hughes team snatching a draw, but that’s all we had to cling to as everyone else won, and won comfortably.

 

Mourinho had been fairly quiet and tantrum free so far this season. Of course, they’d won every game so that would explain it. The first game they didn’t win, his toys came hurtling out of the pram. 

 

Chupo-Mouting put Stoke ahead with a nice finish and celebrated with a terrible dance. You know how I frown upon that kind of thing, but when Pogba and Lukaku are in the opposing side then it’s fair enough I think. 

 

Rashford equalised when Pogba’s effort hit him on the back of the head and wrong footed the keeper. United then took the lead through Lukaku after Wee Joe lost the ball and then stood there sulking instead of chasing back.

 

He’s gone shite since he cut his hair. This is why I’m terrified of cutting mine. I don’t want to lose my talent, especially as I still haven’t figured out what it is yet or if I even have any. I’m aware that I may be getting too old for this look now. Is this how Gerry Francis felt when he was my age? And did he just think “fuck it, I’m not changing for anyone”? 

 

Anyway, Chupo-Mouting headed Stoke level with his second of the game and that’s how it finished, despite United having two great chances to win it. 

 

After the game Mourinho went and shook hands with everyone on the Stoke bench but ignored “Useless”, who made sure he found the nearest camera so he could indignantly point it out. When they were both asked about it afterwards Hughes had a laugh and a joke and said “this isn’t the first handshake-gate I’ve been involved in, so maybe it’s my fault”, while Mourinho was a massive prick about it. 

 

Congratulations Jose, you’ve made Mark Hughes look like a good egg, which despite the trophies might be your greatest feat in management all things considered. 

 

It’s been a bad week for us but it could be worse, we could be Everton. They got spanked by Spurs at the weekend and then walloped by Atalanta in the Europa League on Thursday. The scoreline flattered them against Spurs as it was ridiculously one sided and they were thoroughly outplayed from start to finish. 

 

With August out of the way Kane is on a goal rampage again now. Having failed to score with his previous 24 shots this season it’s ironic that the one that actually found the net was a cross. Because it’s Kane and he’s a great player there were some trying to say he meant it, but did he fuck. Anyone deliberately trying a shot from there is either 1) greedy, 2) thick or 3) Mario Balotelli, who of course has a massive helping from boxes 1 and 2. 

 

Eriksen added a second and Spurs missed a load of gilt edged chances too in the first half. Boos rang around Goodison after one Spurs chance went just wide and the natives are definitely restless. Kane made it 3-0 seconds after the break and only Pickford kept the score down after that. 

 

The only danger to Spurs was that it was so easy that they began to get cocky and they should have conceded when they got caught playing it around at the back and Lloris played it straight to Guaye, who missed an open goal. Lloris is turning into the French Joe Hart. He can make clanger after clanger yet still have people saying how boss he is. 

 

I said before the season Everton would be the surprise package this year. Of course lots of others said that too, as they were the sexy hipster pick to challenge for a top four spot. I wasn’t tipping them for that though, when I said surprise I meant they’d be in the bottom half because they’ve got no pace, especially up top and in midfield. And in defence. They’re like Del Boy’s three wheeled van in a Formula One race. 

 

Everton are so slow they even got run over by a Serie A team, and that’s a league in which defenders can still play when they’re in their forties. This Everton team could go and play against the Reds’ legends side, and Koeman would have to tell them to be careful of the pace of McManaman. And Rush. Maybe even Molby. 

 

 

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[buster69]

Surprised there wasn't a mention of Frank Vincent AKA Billy Batts popping his cloggs. A sad end to a terrible week?

[buster69]

Surprised there wasn't a mention of Frank Vincent AKA Billy Batts popping his cloggs. A sad end to a terrible week?

[Mark M]

Surprised there wasn't a mention of Frank Vincent AKA Billy Batts popping his cloggs. A sad end to a terrible week?

 

Are you Jimmy Two Times ?

[sir roger]

Best facebook reaction I saw from a Blue after the Atalanta game was

' F*** Off Pat Butcher & take your signings with you '

[buster69]

I'm going to go get the papers, get the papers...

[deiseach]

Am I a bad person for getting a whole loaf of comfort from Everton's week? Liverpool get slaughtered by early Saturday lunchtime and as they head off to Pontins the game they're thinking "the only way for the week is down!" How right they were.