Were you a good footballer?

[Chip Butty]

With the turn of pace of Kevin McDonald and the first touch of Dirk Kuyt, I was majestic. I was the one that got away, unfortunately for the football Sunday league scouting system. 

[Anny Road]

What I did does not qualify as ff on the gf

[Rico1304]

I was good at school, but as we played every break, every lunch and every afternoon break on tarmac I was shit on grass. Fundamental problem really.

 

When I started playing again at about 25 I'd lost all ability. Like starting again from scratch. By the time I retired at about 39 (from breaking my hand on some dick heads eye socket) I would say I was up to where I was in junior 4.

[General Dryness]

I had two fifty pence feet and a fifty pence head.

 

The opposition never knew where the ball was going, unfortunately neither did I.

[Anny Road]

I had two fifty pence feet and a fifty pence head.

The opposition never knew where the ball was going, unfortunately neither did I.

In Bootle we used to call that ' A head like a Sherriffs badge'

[General Dryness]

In Bootle we used to call that ' A head like a Sherriffs badge'

We used to call fifty pence pieces "sheriffs badges".

[Chip Butty]

In Bootle we used to call that ' A head like a Sherriffs badge'

 

A rusty sheriffs badge

[Anny Road]

A rusty sheriffs badge

Innocent days

[TheHowieLama]

What the serious fuck?!

 

How do I look up other Bukowski posts so I can neg those too?

[Elite]

I am very quick over 50 yards but have the finishing ability of a blind man. I was like a poor mans Darius Vassell.

[cochyn]

They called me the 'Beeston Batistuta'.

 

Nothing really to do with footy, I just had long hair and happened to score a sweet-as left footed goal in 5-a-side once. Near Beeston.

[Shitty Arse]

I'm from Liverpool. I'm also fucking shit at footy. Hope this helps.

[Dr Nowt]

I am very quick over 50 yards but have the finishing ability of a blind man. I was like a poor mans Darius Vassell.

Darius Vassell is a poor man's Darius Vassell.

[Alan Sex]

I was ok but never actually good.

 

Good ball skill but not the fastest.

 

Like a white Jan Molby.

[VladimirIlyich]

Just got off the phone with Kloppo. What was it you asked?

[The Midnight Rambler]

I was Andrés Iniesta in a world full of Kevin Davies'

[Remmie]

This thread is a disgrace

[Funkasy]

We were 12 players on our team and i was on the bench, does that make me a super sub or super shit ? 

[TheBitch]

They called me the 'Beeston Batistuta'.

 

Nothing really to do with footy, I just had long hair and happened to score a sweet-as left footed goal in 5-a-side once. Near Beeston.

 

Tarporley?

[VladimirIlyich]

They called me last,for a number of reasons.

[KMD7]

I'm left footed so I reckon that puts me on a par with Maradona. 

[TheHowieLama]

FUCKIN BLUTOWSkI!!!!!

 

tAKE THIS ABORTION OF A THREAD OFF THE DAMN gf!!!

[Rico1304]

I was once subbed after 3 mins. (Mentioned that before)

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I was and still am able to play to a very high standard , theres many people on here who can testify to that.

[PestiRed]

I like to think that I make up for my dodgy knees, zero pace and utter lack of talent with my keen, intelligent reading of the game