Middle Class Generalisation Thread

[Major Tom]

Guy in work is the worst middle class wannabe I've ever met. He lives in Stuart Road in Waterloo but constantly refers to it as Crosby, even though he has an L22 postcode and not an L23 one.

 

He pretends he shops in Waitrose which is "just down the road" it isn't because it is in Formby. Also tells people in work that he rings the fishmonger up in Waitrose to select things for him and keep them until he arrives at Waitrose after work. He said once he won't eat fish that hasn't been caught the same day.

 

He takes his family on holidays to the Dordogne every year but only drives as he won't consider ever going on a budget airline. His two daughters are 15 and 18 yet have never been anywhere on holiday apart from France simply because their Dad likes drinking wine and cheese. They must be bored out of their skulls when all their mates probably go to Spain, Portugal, Turkey etc and actually have fun.

 

He hated the fact that a woman in work bought a nice house overlooking Crosby Beach because she is a grade lower than him and therefore beneath him. The fact that her husband is a builder enraged him even more because he's be able to improve the property at a fraction of the cost he would and add value to it.

 

Said he likes going to the Fly in the Loaf because "anyone from any age range, profession or class" can go in and be comfortable. Whenever I've been in I didn't do a market survey of everyone, I just had a few bevies.

 

I looked at some house in Hall Road, Blundellsands on Rightmove and he was straight over to my desk saying "oh that's just down the road from me". I told him it wasn't as it was nearly 2 miles away from where he lived and he didn't speak to me. I told him I knew exactly where he lived as I used to live in Crosby.

 

For some reason he still needs to do the "school run" even though he has two teenagers who go to a school 5 minutes away. Tells everyone in work that his daughter is county standard at swimming despite the fact that she's never done any competitions.

 

I actually feel sorry for people like this. As much as they wind me up.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

two types of vinegar?  what sort of witchcraft is this?  

 

White and brown. It's an equal rights household, don't you know. I'm still to work out what the difference is. They both just smell like vinegar to me.

[Trumo]

That bloke sounds like a male Hyacinth Bucket.

[RoboRiise]

two types of vinegar?  what sort of witchcraft is this?  

 

Sarson's and Aldi...

[Bjornebye]

Anyone who has any vinegar other than sarsons malt vinegar needs the key throwing away

[mattyq]

I think we're at cross purposes here Stringmeister, I'm talking about bland modern Britain's shock troops, not Downton Abbey.

 

The middle class you refer to probably only exists in very small pockets around the south east and Cheshire, the rest are just glorified working class with two different types of vinegar in the cupboard. That's probably why the country is on its arse, even the middle class don't have any money anymore.

Haha we love talking about class and the good old British class system

The middle class Stringy is referring to are all over the place but like to keep themselves to themselves and/or only socialise amongst themselves. Good examples will be found amongst the Liverpool College lot and Tower College in Rainhill. They'll hang around the more expensive but least flashy golf and tennis clubs. They've been well to do for generations 

The middle class you're referring to, Secsh, are the children of Thatcher and the first or 2nd generation to have moved beyond the working class

[RJ Fan club]

Guy in work is the worst middle class wannabe I've ever met. He lives in Stuart Road in Waterloo but constantly refers to it as Crosby, even though he has an L22 postcode and not an L23 one.

 

He pretends he shops in Waitrose which is "just down the road" it isn't because it is in Formby. Also tells people in work that he rings the fishmonger up in Waitrose to select things for him and keep them until he arrives at Waitrose after work. He said once he won't eat fish that hasn't been caught the same day.

 

He takes his family on holidays to the Dordogne every year but only drives as he won't consider ever going on a budget airline. His two daughters are 15 and 18 yet have never been anywhere on holiday apart from France simply because their Dad likes drinking wine and cheese. They must be bored out of their skulls when all their mates probably go to Spain, Portugal, Turkey etc and actually have fun.

 

He hated the fact that a woman in work bought a nice house overlooking Crosby Beach because she is a grade lower than him and therefore beneath him. The fact that her husband is a builder enraged him even more because he's be able to improve the property at a fraction of the cost he would and add value to it.

 

Said he likes going to the Fly in the Loaf because "anyone from any age range, profession or class" can go in and be comfortable. Whenever I've been in I didn't do a market survey of everyone, I just had a few bevies.

 

I looked at some house in Hall Road, Blundellsands on Rightmove and he was straight over to my desk saying "oh that's just down the road from me". I told him it wasn't as it was nearly 2 miles away from where he lived and he didn't speak to me. I told him I knew exactly where he lived as I used to live in Crosby.

 

For some reason he still needs to do the "school run" even though he has two teenagers who go to a school 5 minutes away. Tells everyone in work that his daughter is county standard at swimming despite the fact that she's never done any competitions.

Hyacinth Bucket? Moi?

 

That fishmonger tale made me laugh. How long does he think Waitrose have been hanging into it for? The bellend

 

 

[mattyq]

Anyone who has any vinegar other than sarsons malt vinegar needs the key throwing away

Haha i bet you've got a bottle of balsamic lurking around, Damien

[Bjornebye]

Matty, next door to tower college is a naughty girls home. (well it was in the late 90's) and we used to get the bus down and get them to break out then take them over the golf course and get sucks off them.

[Bjornebye]

She probably does to be fair but I don't go near the fucking thing

 

Or the balsamic

[mattyq]

Matty, next door to tower college is a naughty girls home. (well it was in the late 90's) and we used to get the bus down and get them to break out then take them over the golf course and get sucks off them.

Haha, ace

[Remmie]

This thread gets me scratching my head as I just don't know anyone like it, yet I live in the home counties, so maybe it's a case of not seeing the wood for the trees.

[Duff Man]

My old man used to spend his weekends making briquettes in a giant oil drum which he would then take round the worst council estates in Bradford when there was a coal shortage. He also started an anti nuclear-power group and made his own wine using fruit from our garden, fertilized with his own piss. I never tried it but I'm reliably informed it was very good. For a day job he worked in the voluntary sector providing management advice to local community groups and then later became a politician. He has two first class degrees, including one from Oxford.

 

My mum was a teacher and studied theology and philosophy at night school. I don't think I saw either of them drunk, not even once. They both loved Scottish dancing, classical music, poetry, literature (in particular Shakespeare. And I mean really loved it, not just pretended to) and hill walking. For holidays it was camping in the dales or doing something ridiculous like touring Ireland in a gypsy caravan. They both detested centre parks, and any other such place; eurocamp, disney world, alton towers etc) and they were, are, and always will be completely out of touch with popular culture. For example my mum genuinely has no idea who Simon Cowell is. My bird mentioned the X Factor to her once and she hadn't a clue what she was talking about.

 

Fuck knows what that made us.

[Trumo]

Must have been a shit wine to be honest.

[Dr Nowt]

Human beings in one-upmanship shocker.

[Hooch]

I've kind of gotten lost in what we were describing / taking the piss out of.

 

Are we talking about proper Oliver and Rosemary types who live in Southport or what Mike Skinner used to call the "Barratt-class"? As in an aspirational Lower-middle class? 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I say fuck em all. Fuck anyone who isn't me. You absolute harem of fuck-spanners.

[stringvest]

My old man used to spend his weekends making briquettes in a giant oil drum which he would then take round the worst council estates in Bradford when there was a coal shortage. He also started an anti nuclear-power group and made his own wine using fruit from our garden, fertilized with his own piss. I never tried it but I'm reliably informed it was very good. For a day job he worked in the voluntary sector providing management advice to local community groups and then later became a politician. He has two first class degrees, including one from Oxford.

 

My mum was a teacher and studied theology and philosophy at night school. I don't think I saw either of them drunk, not even once. They both loved Scottish dancing, classical music, poetry, literature (in particular Shakespeare. And I mean really loved it, not just pretended to) and hill walking. For holidays it was camping in the dales or doing something ridiculous like touring Ireland in a gypsy caravan. They both detested centre parks, and any other such place; eurocamp, disney world, alton towers etc) and they were, are, and always will be completely out of touch with popular culture. For example my mum genuinely has no idea who Simon Cowell is. My bird mentioned the X Factor to her once and she hadn't a clue what she was talking about.

 

Fuck knows what that made us.

 

well balanced, probably.  

[Rapey Hugh]

A bit off topic but "working class" is one of my favourite phrases. It has almost the same quality as "pro-life"(obviously unconnected!) in that through stating membership of that particular group a person is not only making a statement about themselves but also a big one about anyone who they precieved to opposed to them, whether they mean to do so or not. Anyone have any other examples of that sort of thing? "Death Tax" maybe?

[Harry Squatter]

He sounds fucking horrible Rob I hope you kill him

Oh he is a twat, he's also one of the laziest people ever, like working is beneath him. Everyone else hates him too and that includes people who used to work with him years ago in other departments.

[Harry Squatter]

Hyacinth Bucket? Moi?

 

That fishmonger tale made me laugh. How long does he think Waitrose have been hanging into it for? The bellend

Two people actually spat their tea out over their keyboard when he said it. He has no self awareness whatsoever. A lot of people who live the other end of town were under the impression he lived in a fantastic house by Moor Lane. They couldn't believe it when I showed them street view on Rightmove to show where he really lives. Not that the road he lives in is bad, it's a nice road with reasonably priced houses but he makes out he lives in a six bedroom house with a swimming pool and a footy pitch for a garden.

[ZonkoVille77]

Has anyone mentioned they are cunts?

If not, they are cunts.

[Harry Squatter]

That bloke sounds like a male Hyacinth Bucket.

He's definitely the same size as her

[Skidfingers McGonical]

I think we're at cross purposes here Stringmeister, I'm talking about bland modern Britain's shock troops, not Downton Abbey.

 

The middle class you refer to probably only exists in very small pockets around the south east and Cheshire, the rest are just glorified working class with two different types of vinegar in the cupboard. That's probably why the country is on its arse, even the middle class don't have any money anymore.

We have four types of vinegar sometimes.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Both parents own a bike that folds up.