Modern day Football commentators

[Major Tom]

There are plenty of people with far greater knowledge of the sport, a better style of delivery, generally more interesting and intelligent, that would love the job, for a tenth of the wages probably.

Can you give me an example of someome in this realm? An ex player? Or a student of the game? Or a journalist? I am not sure who you are getting at here.

[Jairzinho]

Fuck sake, just typed out a long response and my computer had a fit.

 

The gist was that I'm not arsed what level the player has played at. No reason why a League 2 player can't analyse a Champions League game.

 

Like to see more from people like Simon Kuper, Alex Bellos, Jonathan Wilson, etc as well. People of this ilk who definitely understand the game. That surely has to be the first prerequisite. I'm aware they may take some time getting used to the TV side, etc.

 

Loads on this forum would be better than what ITV, BBC, Sky, BT Sport churn out.

 

So essentially, open it up to lots more people. It doesn't just have to be ex top flight footballers. It'll never happen, the sport is marketed towards fucking idiots, the sort of people who find Alan Shearer enlightening, and Adrian Chiles funny.

[Major Tom]

Fuck sake, just typed out a long response and my computer had a fit.

 

The gist was that I'm not arsed what level the player has played at. No reason why a League 2 player can't analyse a Champions League game.

 

Like to see more from people like Simon Kuper, Alex Bellos, Jonathan Wilson, etc as well. People of this ilk who definitely understand the game. That surely has to be the first prerequisite. I'm aware they may take some time getting used to the TV side, etc.

 

Loads on this forum would be better than what ITV, BBC, Sky, BT Sport churn out.

 

So essentially, open it up to lots more people. It doesn't just have to be ex top flight footballers. It'll never happen, the sport is marketed towards fucking idiots, the sort of people who find Alan Shearer enlightening, and Adrian Chiles funny.

Yeah. The problem with a league two player or Simon Kuper analysing a CL game is credibility. Does everyman really want to listen to a league two player tell you about CL game when he can analyse the formations to the nth degree but he can't tell you about the pressure, the emotions involved when playing on a huge stage in front of huge, passionate, hostile and partisan crowds? It's all very well playing the big games in theory, but how different is the reality?

 

And that isn't taking into consideration how fucking tough the gig is. Reading off a script or an autocue is tough enough but the need to wing it while needing to be succinct, coherent and interesting is a different kettle of fish. Ask Phil Neville.

 

I doubt that anyone on here knows more about football than Alan Shearer but, even if they did, could they present themselves and their views in a way which wouldn't have people reaching for their phones or iPads and complaining? I doubt that too.

 

Saying all that, I think a balance needs to be struck. For every Alan Shearer, there should be a Jonathan Wilson. Technical insight alongside practical. But in saying THAT, you actually can have a panel of only ex top players. Carra and Gary Neville were brilliant to watch. Two guys who have played at the very highest level of the game, but not so talented that they could do it without thinking. They made the most of their talent and in doing so reached a level of understanding of the game that is beyond the likes of Alan Shearer.

 

A question, slightly related: Why do you think James Richardson has never landed a top gig in the UK? He shows the exact balance of deference and knowledge and wit and control that would own a presenting job on Sky, the Beeb or ITV.

[Major Tom]

Bollocks.

[Jairzinho]

Yeah. The problem with a league two player or Simon Kuper analysing a CL game is credibility. Does everyman really want to listen to a league two player tell you about CL game when he can analyse the formations to the nth degree but he can't tell you about the pressure, the emotions involved when playing on a huge stage in front of huge, passionate, hostile and partisan crowds? It's all very well playing the big games in theory, but how different is the reality?

 

And that isn't taking into consideration how fucking tough the gig is. Reading off a script or an autocue is tough enough but the need to wing it while needing to be succinct, coherent and interesting is a different kettle of fish. Ask Phil Neville.

 

I doubt that anyone on here knows more about football than Alan Shearer but, even if they did, could they present themselves and their views in a way which wouldn't have people reaching for their phones or iPads and complaining? I doubt that too.

 

Saying all that, I think a balance needs to be struck. For every Alan Shearer, there should be a Jonathan Wilson. Technical insight alongside practical. But in saying THAT, you actually can have a panel of only ex top players. Carra and Gary Neville were brilliant to watch. Two guys who have played at the very highest level of the game, but not so talented that they could do it without thinking. They made the most of their talent and in doing so reached a level of understanding of the game that is beyond the likes of Alan Shearer.

 

A question, slightly related: Why do you think James Richardson has never landed a top gig in the UK? He shows the exact balance of deference and knowledge and wit and control that would own a presenting job on Sky, the Beeb or ITV.

 

The words I've bolded kind of some up the English view of football. We heard tonight about honesty and courageousness etc. The references to war you always hear as well (they had Churchill speeches on the radio earlier). Insular anti-intellectualism, and it sells. Plenty of neanderthalistic fans love it, and therefore the coverage will never change. It simply doesn't need to in the eyes of those who make money out of it. Anyone that would question the credibility of Simon Kuper is simply a fucking imbecile, which unfortunately would be quite a lot of people.

 

Plenty of people on this forum know more about technical and tactical aspects of modern football, and can translate that into written word (the podcast has shown some of them can even speak as well). As I said, anyone new to appearing on telly would need some training. Of course they would. Gary Neville had spent 20 years living in football celeb land, and even he clearly struggled for the first month or two. I agree that him and Carragher are good, and plenty of that will have come from playing at the highest level, but lots will have also come from watching lots of football, from all over the world. From reading about football. From discussing football with their mates. From just doing stuff that people who love football do. Whether they're an International footballer, a journalist, or a postman.

 

James Richardson does present some stuff on BT Sport, I think. Also hosts the Guardian podcast. Both slightly (more so with the latter) edgy. He wouldn't fit on the three channels you've mentioned. His humour would be largely missed by the rest of the people on panel, and plenty of more casual fans of the game simply wouldn't get him either. He doesn't fit the mould of a mainstream British football presenter/pundit.

[Major Tom]

Seriously, who on this forum do you think would know more about football than Alan Shearer? You seem to be one of the more knowledgeable posters on here. Do you think you know more than Shearer? But then you downplay the mental side of sport. If you don't think the mental side (pressure and emotions) plays a large part, then it kind of proves my point I am about to make about sporting forums. Full of bluffers.

 

The only thing I think sporting forums are good for are futile (but amusing) arguments about nonsense and, in football's case, transfer gossip. If I seriously wanted to know about technical and tactical aspects of a modern sport, I wouldn't entertain a sporting forum as a means of education. There may well be knowledgeable people who read this (and other sporting) forum(s) but would someone who actually genuinely knows their onions really want to spend their days arguing the formations or pyschological toss with funnneee or dennis tooth? What would they get out of it? Forums are chocker block full of loons. There are the exceptions but i am yet to find a footballing one!

 

But, back to punditry. Yep, Simon Kuper or Jonathan Wilson would definetly add something to a footballing panel. But only to complement ex players/managers. I would like the best of both worlds.

[Major Tom]

I have been a bit harsh there about sporting forums. There are some excellent ones. I think I am referring to football forums. Football, for some reason, brings out the more abusive and emotional side of people. And it detracts from the discussion.

[Jairzinho]

Even if Alan Shearer does know more about every single aspect of football than every person on this forum, which I don't believe, he has proven that he simply isn't capable of passing that information on to the viewers. Because he's an imbecile. And a fucking boring one.

 

I think you're doing the forum a disservice. Yeah, there is plenty of shite as well, but if you could be arsed searching you'd find several fairly in depth discussions about the game on here.

 

I'm only interested in ex players/managers that are informative and entertaining. Just being an ex player/manager isn't qualification alone. Or it shouldn't be anyway.

[SammyAftershave]

That wireless app thingy didn't work and I ended up having to listen to them ITV cunts, you cunt.

[Major Tom]

Even if Alan Shearer does know more about every single aspect of football than every person on this forum, which I don't believe, he has proven that he simply isn't capable of passing that information on to the viewers. Because he's an imbecile. And a fucking boring one.

 

I think you're doing the forum a disservice. Yeah, there is plenty of shite as well, but if you could be arsed searching you'd find several fairly in depth discussions about the game on here.

 

I'm only interested in ex players/managers that are informative and entertaining. Just being an ex player/manager isn't qualification alone. Or it shouldn't be anyway.

Agree on most counts there.

 

Disagree about this forum and also disagree about Shearer being an imbecile. I would imagine if you ever found yourself in his company, you would find him great to be with. Very few people I have come across are imbeciles. Successful people - in whatever field - generally aren't.

[Major Tom]

That wireless app thingy didn't work and I ended up having to listen to them ITV cunts, you cunt.

I'm thinking the app isn't the problem here.

[Jairzinho]

Well he does an exceptional impression of an imbecile.

[Major Tom]

Well he does an exceptional impression of an imbecile.

So do you. But I'm guessing you're not one.

[SammyAftershave]

Well, it's nice to be in familiar company.

[Jairzinho]

I guess you thinking I'm pretending to be stupid is slightly less insulting than you thinking I am stupid. You do certainly have a way with words though, MT. Middle of a reasonably lengthy discussion, wham, have an insult, as part of a defence of Alan Shearer.

 

Do you speak to people in real life like this?

[Major Tom]

I guess you thinking I'm pretending to be stupid is slightly less insulting than you thinking I am stupid. You do certainly have a way with words though, MT. Middle of a reasonably lengthy discussion, wham, have an insult, as part of a defence of Alan Shearer.

 

Do you speak to people in real life like this?

Less direct. But I get my message across.

 

But, no, you're not stupid, Jairzinho. Nowhere approaching it.

 

The discussion had seemingly tapered off to a point where we were arguing over whether Alan Shearer is an imbecile or not. Not really a debate I care having. I wasn't defending Alan Shearer. I honestly don't give a fuck about Alan Shearer. I was making a larger point, of which Alan Shearer was an example. I think that the internet detaches people so far from reality, that it's not even worth discussing reality. So we can just agree that Alan Shearer is an imbecile.

 

And I don't even know what Sammy Aftershave is talking about and why he's calling me a cunt.

[Saintslfc13]

Over here I've been listening/watching on the Univision app when I couldn't just sit and watch. It's in spanish, which I don't really speak but I do understand a bit of it. The only alternative for me is listening on the radio via ESPN (apparently ESPN and Directv couldn't strike a deal to allow streaming on the WatchESPN app) and while it's in English they're a good 6 to 8 minutes or so behind the live action. The Univision (which is a channel primarily for Mexican and other hispanic viewers) app is at most 2 minutes behind and I've seen it be only 30 seconds behind when I'm stationary watching the action plus it has video so when I do get a chance to watch I'm not actually missing out on anything. Some of the "strange" things I've noticed from the Mexican commentators are that they tend to say the players first middle and last name and one just for us Reds during the Italy v England game everytime Gerrard had the ball the commentator said "Capitan Estevie". Anyway it's worked well so far.

[Moctezuma]

Ive been thinking for a while its a waste that the bbc have motson and have not used him at recent international tournaments, it may just be me but I think it adds something extra having someone commentate on a big match that he has seen many times before.

 

Having seen all the best international players/teams in the last 30-40 years means when he says one is special or a match excellent you take his word as he has seen so many.

 

Jesus Christ, people can have a difference of opinion but this is off the scale for me.

 

 

 

Motson is the human equivalent of a scalpel being taken to a blackboard whilst wrapped in a sponge that contains diahorrea and vomit. I fucking hate listening to the man, not just because of his adenoidal whining overexcited delivery, but mainly beacasue of his constant use of past history in a totally meaningless context during matches is tiresome and infuriating.

 

 

 

Imagine if you knew someone who actually spoken in that manner:

 

John Motson- I see you've bought a cheese roll for your lunch

 

You- Yup

 

JM- Did you know you bought your first cheese roll on the 3rd of April1992 for the price of £27p from Thackeray’s the bakers in Dorchester?

 

You- Erm no I'd forgotten that, but it's slightly weird that...

 

JM- Also you ate 13 cheese rolls in 2001, but the one you bought from Tesco the night after Auntie Gina’s funeral on the 14th of August wasn't of the same quality as the others. That reminds me Auntie Gina used to invite the postman in for tea when your uncle was away. She would serve him with corned beef hash, brown bread sandwiches cut to a specification of 9cm by 6cm, and a rimjob. Corned beef hash not eaten by the postman would then be scrapped from the sandwiches and fed to your uncle, which saved approximately 27p in household expenditure, that would be 36p now what a saving. Rooney!

 

 

 

I may hasten to add that he pretty much hates our club if you've ever listened to the ear aids that is Monday Night Club on Radio 5 live; he, Chelsea’s self-anointed anal slurper McGarry and Steve "it's not fair mummy" Claridge regularly try and stick the boot into the red men.

 

 

 

I really wish Ronnie Radford had smashed the ball into his sheepskin coated face that day rather than the Newcastle net, as that would have spared me from years of his whopping inanity and asinine shrieking.

 

[Section_31]

Aldo is the only good football commentator, and Andy Gray was too, don't care what anyone says, hate him or not he was good at the job.

[Major Tom]

See, I think Gray was/is an average co commentator. He got everything right in retrospect. "aye, that was coming", "you could see that was going to happen", "predictable", yet he never quite predicted any of it.

 

His delivery was good and he was eloquent enough but there was very little substance. Gary Neville is kind of the opposite. He has good things to say but is delivery ain't that good.

 

Despite what people here seem to think, I think it's a very tough job to cover all those bases. Not may get it right. I'm talking specifically co commentators here. TV ones.

[thompsonsnose]

Clive Tyldesley.

Off the scale.

[ZonkoVille77]

They can't hide their allegiances which is the biggest issue. Most ofthem are bitter and biased and can't focus on the job at hand. Mark Lawrenson is the biggest example of this and basically anyone that does the games on Sly.

[Horus]

Sam Matterface is a cunt of epic proportions. How you go from reading the fucking news on a sports channel to commentating, is beyond me.,

[Major Tom]

They can't hide their allegiances which is the biggest issue. Most ofthem are bitter and biased and can't focus on the job at hand. Mark Lawrenson is the biggest example of this and basically anyone that does the games on Sly.

Does Lawrenson favour us? I have never noticed that!

[Major Tom]

Sam Matterface is a cunt of epic proportions. How you go from reading the fucking news on a sports channel to commentating, is beyond me.,

He was in radio before he went to SSN, wasn't he?

 

But, he's a good commentator. No idea what he's like otherwise.