little things that annoy the shit out of you

[rubble-rouser]

I used to work evenings arranging the reduced section of a supermarket when I was at college, same time every night the same middle-aged oddballs would be in there following your every move in the hope of buying 50 packs of Battenburg slices for a penny each, all of which were going out of date the following day.  The start of a Grand Prix had nothing on the way they used to jockey for position and barge each other with their trolleys while hanging out of my arse like a dirty piece of Andrex.  Knew exactly what times the markdowns happened and would be at me straight away; "You're supposed to drop the price to a penny now as there are only 10 minutes of store time left".  Obviously I would then refuse, out of pure spite.

 

Got nothing against people who do it for their budget, makes perfect sense and I'm always happy to snap up a decent bit of meat or the like for a fraction of it's usual cost, but being plagued constantly by these vultures, who would usually need a trolley boy to help them fill their car up with all their swag once they'd got their sweaty hands on it, constantly asking you when you would be marking stuff down further and trying to draw you into a debate as to whether a packet of bread with 1 day left on it's shelf life should really be as expensive as 5p still, did leave me with some lasting prejudices which I try manfully to overcome.

 

I don't want to say anything sweeping or submit to bigotry, but essentially, they are all paedophiles to a man.

 

Give it a year or two and the grey velcro Clark's size 9 will be on the other foot.

 

P.S. can someone  please make a joke about, Lizzie's penchant for cheap meat? I have places to do and people to go.

[Jairzinho]

Drop down menus.

[FanchesterCity]

No handbrake.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Gonna be 28 degrees down south on saturday apparently. Cloudy with sunny spells up north. Fucking South.

[alles ist gut]

Autoplay videos

[Captain Turdseye]

Gonna be 28 degrees down south on saturday apparently. Cloudy with sunny spells up north. Fucking South.

Blame me. I moved down south but I'm back in Liverpool visiting this weekend. The shit weather follows me around.

[Champ]

Gonna be 28 degrees down south on saturday apparently. Cloudy with sunny spells up north. Fucking South.

It's currently 8 degrees here. It's pissing down and blowing a gale and to cap it all our boiler's packed up and we're sitting here in big jumpers freezing. Its fucking June!

[A Red]

I'm nearly as down south as you can go and its pissed down all day

[VladimirIlyich]

Give it a year or two and the grey velcro Clark's size 9 will be on the other foot.

 

P.S. can someone please make a joke about, Lizzie's penchant for cheap meat? I have places to do and people to go.

He was rumoured to be offering his customers a frozen pork.

[Dr Nowt]

I'm on the coast and it's bollocks here since first thing.

 

In fact, today has been an unmitigated minge all round and can fuck right off.

[General Dryness]

Blame me. I moved down south but I'm back in Liverpool visiting this weekend. The shit weather follows me around.

 

Everywhere you go, you always take the weather with you?

[Liverpool lad]

People who have been the victim of an attempted break in and are now advocating vigilante justice and the state chopping peoples hands off

[Bjornebye]

Windy as fuck on the south coast and pissing down. Can hear it twatting my windows.

[Carvalho Diablo]

It's currently 8 degrees here. It's pissing down and blowing a gale and to cap it all our boiler's packed up and we're sitting here in big jumpers freezing. Its fucking June!

 

This.

 

All those arseholes and mongs who're "Phew, it's too hot..." when the sun decides to poke it's head out, well here's your fucking alternative you spiteful, shivvering shithouse cunts.

 

Fucking Baltic.

[magicrat]

People who have been the victim of an attempted break in and are now advocating vigilante justice and the state chopping peoples hands off

Yep, summary execution would be much better !

[VladimirIlyich]

Everywhere you go, you always take the weather with you?

Sounds like a Crowded House.

[Hooch]

When you've eaten two corn on the cobs instead of one forgetting that shit expands in your stomach.

 

I'm literally sitting up here waiting for it to digest before I can go to bed.

 

Jesus.

[Dr Nowt]

Give it a year or two and the grey velcro Clark's size 9 will be on the other foot.

 

P.S. can someone  please make a joke about, Lizzie's penchant for cheap meat? I have places to do and people to go.

 

I prefer mine in hearing aid beige.

 

AND THE SHOES. 

[John101]

People who start a sentence with 'only i could...’ before going on to list some sort of run of the mill mishap 

[John101]

Oh and them machines that measure how hard you punch. Invented for wools who put the the collar up on henleys t shirts

[Evelyn Tentions]

It's currently 8 degrees here. It's pissing down and blowing a gale and to cap it all our boiler's packed up and we're sitting here in big jumpers freezing. Its fucking June!

16 degrees here now, 10am in winter.

As Spike Milligan put it "Here's me shivering in the 16 deg of an Australian winter while you're sweltering in the 8 deg of an English summer"

[Furmedge]

I used to work evenings arranging the reduced section of a supermarket when I was at college, same time every night the same middle-aged oddballs would be in there following your every move in the hope of buying 50 packs of Battenburg slices for a penny each, all of which were going out of date the following day. The start of a Grand Prix had nothing on the way they used to jockey for position and barge each other with their trolleys while hanging out of my arse like a dirty piece of Andrex. Knew exactly what times the markdowns happened and would be at me straight away; "You're supposed to drop the price to a penny now as there are only 10 minutes of store time left". Obviously I would then refuse, out of pure spite.

 

Got nothing against people who do it for their budget, makes perfect sense and I'm always happy to snap up a decent bit of meat or the like for a fraction of it's usual cost, but being plagued constantly by these vultures, who would usually need a trolley boy to help them fill their car up with all their swag once they'd got their sweaty hands on it, constantly asking you when you would be marking stuff down further and trying to draw you into a debate as to whether a packet of bread with 1 day left on it's shelf life should really be as expensive as 5p still, did leave me with some lasting prejudices which I try manfully to overcome.

 

I don't want to say anything sweeping or submit to bigotry, but essentially, they are all paedophiles to a man.

A fella I used to work with uses a tin opener on tins of coffee to make sure none of the granules get stuck on the lip of the tin. Must save him a quarter of a spoonful.

 

The same fella that berated somebody for throwing away one of his plastic spoons. "That's a good spoon that, lasted me years!" He also recycles his buttie bags and uses the same penny bag for a week.

 

He's also a snidey cunt who tries to get people sacked behind their backs.

[Bjornebye]

When sky sports news comes back on after the adverts why is that shit jingle ten times louder than anything else

[Liverpool lad]

People who start a sentence with 'only i could...’ before going on to list some sort of run of the mill mishap

Good shout this. Normally the saying of a massive attention seeking bell

 

 

[Harry Squatter]

Lads who think that smashing tons of minging bargain basement birds makes them a ladies man.