Mother of the Year...

[Kopite]

...not.

 

BBC NEWS | UK | England | Lancashire | Drink binge mother left children

 

Drink binge mother left children

 

Rebecca Stevenson admitted four counts of child cruelty

A mother who abandoned her four young children to go on a 24-hour drink and drug binge has been given a suspended prison sentence.

 

Rebecca Stevenson, 22, of Abraham Street, Blackburn, Lancashire, left her two boys and two girls, aged from three months to four years, in July.

 

She was jailed for 20 weeks, suspended for two years, after admitting child cruelty at Preston Crown Court.

 

Judge Norman Wright said it was "an appalling state of affairs".

 

It was with "merciful good luck" that none of the children was seriously injured through her "absolute dereliction" of duty, Preston Crown Court heard.

 

The consequences of children as young as these being left to fend for themselves are too dreadful to think about

 

Judge Norman Wright

Stevenson said she put her children to bed at 2130 BST and proceeded to drink a bottle of wine before indulging in cider and cocaine when friends called round.

 

Then in "a moment of madness" she told the court she left the children to their own devices as she went out to a house party.

 

She later carried on drinking throughout the day at pubs before returning home at 2230 BST the following day.

 

Steven Wild, prosecuting, said the children were discovered at 1000 BST that day when the Stevenson's stepfather called at her home.

 

Baby 'hysterical'

 

The eldest daughter was leaning out of the lounge window, was rain-soaked and had been crying, he said.

 

Stevenson's one-year-old son was "hysterical" in his cot upstairs.

 

The youngster was soaked in urine as was the three-month-old boy who was also covered in sick in his cot.

 

The four-year-old girl had tried to feed the baby by using chairs to climb up to a kitchen cupboard and reach a tin of milk powder.

 

The children now live with their grandparents.

 

Judge Norman Wright told Stevenson: "We have all seen and been amused by Hollywood's Home Alone, of a much older child, but the consequences of children as young as these being left to fend for themselves are too dreadful to think about.

 

"They were left to fend for themselves because you had decided to go out for your own personal gratification, drinking and taking drugs."

 

'Mother's stress'

 

Richard Bennett, defending Stevenson, said she was a 22-year-old with four young children by three different fathers who had found her life "extremely difficult and distressful".

 

He said: "There can be no doubt that this young woman was under a great deal of stress.

 

"She was depressed because of the break-up of her long-term relationship with the father of the two boys."

 

The judge lifted reporting restrictions on naming the defendant in the interests of "open justice".

 

The judge also imposed an eight-week curfew on Stevenson, who admitted four counts of child cruelty.

[kop]

Kids these days, moaning if the have to manage for a day without someone to wipe their arses. Oh how times have changed, I remember back in the day etc.

[melons]

He said: "There can be no doubt that this young woman was under a great deal of stress.

 

"She was depressed because of the break-up of her long-term relationship with the father of the two boys."

 

The judge lifted reporting restrictions on naming the defendant in the interests of "open justice".

 

The judge also imposed an eight-week curfew on Stevenson, who admitted four counts of child cruelty.

 

Got to love how this was the last paragraph. No shit, four kids under four years old most two parent families struggle with that let alone a single parent.

 

Where the fuck are all the kids fathers?

[Anubis]

 

Where the fuck are all the kids fathers?

 

On submarines?

[Section_31]

Parenting licenses would solve a lot - and I mean a lot - of problems in society, shame it's completely impossible.

 

In nature if you have a sprog and don't look after it, your own family unit is the only one that suffers. In modern society, if you can't look after your sprog, the rest of society reaps the whirlwind. Therefore, society at large should have some kind of say in the matter.

[Guest ShoePiss]

Got to love how this was the last paragraph. No shit, four kids under four years old most two parent families struggle with that let alone a single parent.

 

Where the fuck are all the kids fathers?

 

Strange that that is your only comment on the subject, her stepfather called at the house at 10am the next day, the mother was still out drinking and snorting coke by the sounds of it.

[Guest ShoePiss]

Parenting licenses would solve a lot - and I mean a lot - of problems in society, shame it's completely impossible.

 

In nature if you have a sprog and don't look after it, your own family unit is the only one that suffers. In modern society, if you can't look after your sprog, the rest of society reaps the whirlwind. Therefore, society at large should have some kind of say in the matter.

 

funny that you need one for a dog but not a child :)

[Liverpool lad]

Hang on a minute here Melons, she is shitting kids out left, right and centre here. 4 kids, 3 fathers - surely she use her brains and make sure they pull out at least, she might even practise safe sex. She is 22 years of age as well. She as brought the stress on herself.

 

I hate it when people throw things like that out for sympathy, 'oooh I was stressed, so I fucked off for 24 hours drinking and snorting'. Same when you read in the Echo about somebody going away for dealing drugs or possession of a gun and the man defending says 'my client's grandmother wasn't well at the time' as though this is some sort of mitigating circumstances. The truth is we live in a society were you blame somebody, your circumstances, the hand that life dealt you, etc. We need people to put their hand up and admit where and when they fucked up, then follow that up with a plan to fix that problem. Take some fucking responsibility

 

Stumptown, she was probably getting ploughed as well

[Guest ShoePiss]

There's already a mongy facebook group for her, it does show her picture though :-

 

Login | Facebook

[melons]

On submarines?

 

I near on spat my orange juice all over my keyboard! Brilliant!

 

Parenting licenses would solve a lot - and I mean a lot - of problems in society, shame it's completely impossible.

 

In theory i'd agree, but its not just the dregs of society that fail to parent adequately.

 

Strange that that is your only comment on the subject, her stepfather called at the house at 10am the next day, the mother was still out drinking and snorting coke by the sounds of it.

 

Her step father, the mothers step father. There were 3 fathers involved. The children are now living with grandparents, It would be interesting to find out but i'd expect the maternal side.

 

I'm not condoning her actions. Far from it. Can i understand them? Hell yes. What i ask is why are the absent fathers not being prosecuted for neglect?

[Section_31]

In theory i'd agree, but its not just the dregs of society that fail to parent adequately.

 

 

Couldn't agree more, the biggest dealer in our school was minted, he just never saw his parents because they were always out. I'm not sure how the mechanics of such a scheme would work because it would be impossible to conceive of it ever happening, I'm just saying that shit parenting probably accounts for 80% of our problems.

[Guest ShoePiss]

I near on spat my orange juice all over my keyboard! Brilliant!

 

 

 

In theory i'd agree, but its not just the dregs of society that fail to parent adequately.

 

 

 

Her step father, the mothers step father. There were 3 fathers involved. The children are now living with grandparents, It would be interesting to find out but i'd expect the maternal side.

 

I'm not condoning her actions. Far from it. Can i understand them? Hell yes. What i ask is why are the absent fathers not being prosecuted for neglect?

 

Why should they be? We only know what is in the above article, from it I've gathered that she was the only 'adult' responsible for them at that time and left the house for 24hrs.

 

Asking why the fathers aren't charged with neglect based on the information we have is ridiculous melons.

 

If we knew that the fathers were also at the house and also left when the mother did I could understand your question.

[Guest ShoePiss]

Also saying you can understand her actions puzzles me, I know you're a single mother and from reading your stuff I know that regardless of what kind of stress you were under you wouldn't leave your kids and go on a 24hr booze and coke bender

[TheBitch]

What if the fathers weren't allowed access to the kids, didn't want access to the kids but paid their way admirably?

[melons]

Hang on a minute here Melons, she is shitting kids out left, right and centre here. 4 kids, 3 fathers - surely she use her brains and make sure they pull out at least, she might even practise safe sex. She is 22 years of age as well. She as brought the stress on herself.

 

I hate it when people throw things like that out for sympathy, 'oooh I was stressed, so I fucked off for 24 hours drinking and snorting'. Same when you read in the Echo about somebody going away for dealing drugs or possession of a gun and the man defending says 'my client's grandmother wasn't well at the time' as though this is some sort of mitigating circumstances. The truth is we live in a society were you blame somebody, your circumstances, the hand that life dealt you, etc. We need people to put their hand up and admit where and when they fucked up, then follow that up with a plan to fix that problem. Take some fucking responsibility

 

Stumptown, she was probably getting ploughed as well

 

I agree with your post. The person to admit to fucking up though, would that be the mother alone or the kids dads too? Would it be the kids grandparents both maternal and paternal for raising fucked up kids who went on to be shit parents?

 

I have 4 kids, I didn't plan on raising them alone. I was in a relationship, married and life was pretty good at the time. I am the one taking responsibility for both mine and his actions of having them. It isnt fair and its bang out of order, but that's the way life is.

 

 

Couldn't agree more, the biggest dealer in our school was minted, he just never saw his parents because they were always out. I'm not sure how the mechanics of such a scheme would work because it would be impossible to conceive of it ever happening, I'm just saying that shit parenting probably accounts for 80% of our problems.

 

Agreed, but it again goes back in time doesn't it? parenting isn't something we learn in a book, books on parenting are the root of all evil IMO. We learn to be parents from watching parents, for how we were parented.

 

 

Why should they be? We only know what is in the above article, from it I've gathered that she was the only 'adult' responsible for them at that time and left the house for 24hrs.

 

Asking why the fathers aren't charged with neglect based on the information we have is ridiculous melons.

 

If we knew that the fathers were also at the house and also left when the mother did I could understand your question.

 

Your missing the point i was making, a mother is charged with neglect, I don't think for one second she got up that morning and thought, you know what tonight i'm going to abandon my kids and go off on a 34 hour head fuck.

 

It infuriates me to fuck how blame gets landed on mothers, what she did was inexcuseable, and like i said i'm not condoning her actions. However if she had the right support in place i really do doubt that this would of taken place. (not the head fuck the neglect)

 

 

Also saying you can understand her actions puzzles me, I know you're a single mother and from reading your stuff I know that regardless of what kind of stress you were under you wouldn't leave your kids and go on a 24hr booze and coke bender

 

I'm a shit hot mother, and you know what, there are times i want to walk out on the little toads, you know when you've not had a full nights sleep in months, when your world around is crumbling and you do in all honesty believe they would be better off without you. I'm pretty sure most mothers have felt that at some point.

 

Almost 2 years ago my nan had just had a quadruple bypass, I was begging knob head to help me. She was lucky to pull through the surgery but struggled to come around and developed some sort of post op dementia. I was more or less raised by my grandparents (due to behaviour like the articles mother) so I left my kids with a friend and spent near on a week in Swansea a 5 hour drive from my house. I slept in the car most nights, some nights in a travel lodge when there was a room. I asked the kids dad for help, non came. So when he was due to have them 3 weeks later i cleared what my position would be with social services should i leave them with him. It was fine, he had a responsibility to look after them. So yes, on December the 26th i dropped them off with him and didn't pick them up until the day after new year. I needed a break before i cracked up. Does that not count that i abandoned my children? Albeit supervised with a father who hardly sees them.

[melons]

What if the fathers weren't allowed access to the kids, didn't want access to the kids but paid their way admirably?

 

Ha, cop outs line.

 

There are few cases where this actually happens. There are few cases that CAFCASS will rule that the father is not allowed access, usually where there is a risk to the child.

 

What normally happens is people (men and women) give up and cant fight any more. .

 

As for paying their way, too right they should, just becasue they can't see the child doesn't mean it doesn't need things like shoes clothes food and what not.

 

I mean really, anyone care to take a guess on how much it costs to feed and clothe my lot a week?

[Total Longo]

Lawyers trying to defend the indefensible with risible excuses like saying she found her life "extremely difficult and distressful" fucking wind me up, the soulless twats.

[TheBitch]

Its not a cop out, I don't know enough about the case to pass judgement if I'm honest but it is a possibility.

 

1st impressions are that the girl has been rattled about alot with no thoughts of contraception by fellas who saw an easy shag with no thoughts of contraception and now she's took it upon herself to go on a bender.

 

She's probably not fit to mother them but has had no support from the fathers.

[Guest ShoePiss]

I agree with your post. The person to admit to fucking up though, would that be the mother alone or the kids dads too? Would it be the kids grandparents both maternal and paternal for raising fucked up kids who went on to be shit parents?

 

I have 4 kids, I didn't plan on raising them alone. I was in a relationship, married and life was pretty good at the time. I am the one taking responsibility for both mine and his actions of having them. It isnt fair and its bang out of order, but that's the way life is.

 

 

 

 

Agreed, but it again goes back in time doesn't it? parenting isn't something we learn in a book, books on parenting are the root of all evil IMO. We learn to be parents from watching parents, for how we were parented.

 

 

 

 

Your missing the point i was making, a mother is charged with neglect, I don't think for one second she got up that morning and thought, you know what tonight i'm going to abandon my kids and go off on a 34 hour head fuck.

 

It infuriates me to fuck how blame gets landed on mothers, what she did was inexcuseable, and like i said i'm not condoning her actions. However if she had the right support in place i really do doubt that this would of taken place. (not the head fuck the neglect)

 

 

 

 

I'm a shit hot mother, and you know what, there are times i want to walk out on the little toads, you know when you've not had a full nights sleep in months, when your world around is crumbling and you do in all honesty believe they would be better off without you. I'm pretty sure most mothers have felt that at some point.

 

Almost 2 years ago my nan had just had a quadruple bypass, I was begging knob head to help me. She was lucky to pull through the surgery but struggled to come around and developed some sort of post op dementia. I was more or less raised by my grandparents (due to behaviour like the articles mother) so I left my kids with a friend and spent near on a week in Swansea a 5 hour drive from my house. I slept in the car most nights, some nights in a travel lodge when there was a room. I asked the kids dad for help, non came. So when he was due to have them 3 weeks later i cleared what my position would be with social services should i leave them with him. It was fine, he had a responsibility to look after them. So yes, on December the 26th i dropped them off with him and didn't pick them up until the day after new year. I needed a break before i cracked up. Does that not count that i abandoned my children? Albeit supervised with a father who hardly sees them.

 

But even in what I think may have been your darkest hour you didn't actually leave them to fend for themselves, you left them with responsible adults. Although your story is an upsetting one it's completely different to what's happened here.

 

I can understand you being sympathetic towards the mother to a certain extent but for me it doesn't matter whether it was the father(s) or mother who left the children, the responsibility rests with the adult that left them unsupervised. As it was the mother and not the father(s) it's only the mother that should be charged.

 

Also we don't know what kind of support the fathers have given so how can we pass judgement?

[melons]

Its not a cop out, I don't know enough about the case to pass judgement if I'm honest but it is a possibility.

 

1st impressions are that the girl has been rattled about alot with no thoughts of contraception by fellas who saw an easy shag with no thoughts of contraception and now she's took it upon herself to go on a bender.

 

She's probably not fit to mother them but has had no support from the fathers.

 

Most people are not fit to be parents, I'd include myself in that one for at least one week a month, shit i'm probably a danger to my kids in that week. You just give it your best shot and hope it works out.

 

I don't want to come across as defending her, i'm not. But i can understand how it came to happen.

[melons]

But even in what I think may have been your darkest hour you didn't actually leave them to fend for themselves, you left them with responsible adults. Although your story is an upsetting one it's completely different to what's happened here.

 

I can understand you being sympathetic towards the mother to a certain extent but for me it doesn't matter whether it was the father(s) or mother who left the children, the responsibility rests with the adult that left them unsupervised. As it was the mother and not the father(s) it's only the mother that should be charged.

 

Also we don't know what kind of support the fathers have given so how can we pass judgement?

 

one of the coping strategies that goes way back in time is when your baby doesn't shut up and you cant take it any more is to put them in the pram and place them at the bottom of the garden. As time has gone on that garden has become the bedroom and shut the door.

 

 

No i've never left them, your right. I have however at the age of 8 been 'responsible' for myself and my 3 younger siblings on countless occasions, there are 2 years between me and my sister, 6 for the next one down and 9 for the next one. I could of grown up to have the same parenting skills as my mother.

 

 

The initial bottle of wine clouded her judgement, the path was set from there.

 

 

Edit, if fathers were present then they would of had parental responsibility and they would of had their children with them as they out rank grandparents in care proceedings as far as i am aware.

[RedinSweden]

Fair play to her. Not enough parents prioritise their own lives.

[She Knows It]

I'm hearing you Melons. I hate how when a thread like this comes up, its always us two battling the single mother corner. Society has changed, mothers no longer have support from extended family, friends and neighbours like they did in the good old days. I remember my health visitor (who was knocking on retirement even 10 years ago) saying to me "Liz, it's a complete fallacy that back in the day all mothers were wonderful, even though they had 8 kids and had to do all their washing by hand. The truth is they were all drugged up on valium, leaving the oldest kids to bring up the younger ones. These days, you're expected to be supermum and give your kids your 100% attention all day every day, go out to work, keep a nice home, be a good wife, look beautiful, keep fit and make time for yourself. I don't know how any of you cope. I couldn't cope being a Mum these days".

 

It's something that's really stuck with me. There's a whole myth surrounding Motherhood. We've all seen the women dropping their kids off at 8.45 looking like Cheryl Cole, or ones who have a home like a show house. They have no purpose in their life other than to say "Look at me, look how well I cope with life". Before the penny drops, we look at them and wonder why we can't manage it, when we're dropping our own kids off in yesterday's jeans and a big coat over our nightie. The truth is that we're all cutting corners somewhere. None of us can manage it, and we all struggle (right to the very brink at times). Yet, we all continue the charade.

 

When we begin to admit just how difficult it is, then mothers like this one might stop being afraid of asking for help, and poor kids won't have to go through this shit anymore.

[Spy Bee]

Them eldest kids should be ashamed of themselves leaving the youngsters to fend for themselves. Where is the sibling responsibility.

[Dan Vito Corleone]

4 kids by 22? Shocking.