What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Mudface]

1 minute ago, Tony Moanero said:

Nah, you’re all right. I’ll try most things

but black pudding isn’t one of them.

Not even cooked? Or was some part of the post missing there?

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Mudface said:

I love that gif, by the way. I'm a newcomer to the forum, but have seen the 'Tony's ma' stuff from time to time. Every time you post that, I imagine it's her reacting after seeing a dick pic posted to her catfish Grindr account.

If you think Tonys maa reacts like that to dick pics then trust me, you really are wet behind the ear. 

 

EDIT: You joined in 2009 you cunt you must have been through her inbox. 

[Tony Moanero]

Yolks have to be runny. You can’t beat dipping a sausage in a fried egg or soldiers in a soft boiled egg.

[Trumo]

In post-Brexit Britain, these offensive breakfasts will look like manna from heaven when you consider the alternative is Baldrick's coffee.

[Tony Moanero]

4 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Not even cooked? Or was some part of the post missing there?

I should have said raw black pudding. I love it cooked.

[Mudface]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

If you think Tonys maa reacts like that to dick pics then trust me, you really are wet behind the ear. 

 

EDIT: You joined in 2009 you cunt you must have been through her inbox. 

Yeah, I didn't start posting or even reading until about 2018 really though.

 

And there's dick pics, and Goatse-style dick pics.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Yolks have to be runny. You can’t beat dipping a sausage in a fried egg or soldiers in a soft boiled egg.

Can we get back to Breakfasts please enough about yer maa 

[Nunavut Patrick]

I’be finally succumbed to the fact that I need reading glasses and purchased a pair today, at +2.00 magnification.

 

i just scrolled though six pages of this thread and have taken the reading glasses and smashed them.

 

Tinned tomatoes and mushrooms, raw strips of streaky bacon, bean juice pots and bean juice basically Yewtreeing breakfasts. And the fucking state of toast. It’s fucking toast not lightly browned bread. Take the knob on the toaster and move it clockwise. Cunt. 

 

And Bob, you were a hero to us on the date thread but now you use terms like ‘avo’. 

 

Its a fucking avocado and it only should

be used to make guacamole. Well I guess the pit can be used for Mook as a buttplug.

 

I literally have breakfast shock and may never recover, doomed to wander the streets asking for crispy streaky bacon and hunting down avo wankers. 

 

And vampires now eating raw black pudding. 

 

 

[Nunavut Patrick]

I think Bob made it all up and instead of getting  blowjobs he was tonguing avocados with the pit out the deviant. 

[Lee909]

I'm planning a new business 

Reckon I'll move to Australia near Ardja and start a cafe. £15 a pop, unlimited tea and toast

 

 

[Lee909]

On the tinned tomato debate

Just buy these, add a few drops of balsamic too

[Bjornebye]

43 minutes ago, Nunavut Patrick said:

I’be finally succumbed to the fact that I need reading glasses and purchased a pair today, at +2.00 magnification.

 

i just scrolled though six pages of this thread and have taken the reading glasses and smashed them.

 

Tinned tomatoes and mushrooms, raw strips of streaky bacon, bean juice pots and bean juice basically Yewtreeing breakfasts. And the fucking state of toast. It’s fucking toast not lightly browned bread. Take the knob on the toaster and move it clockwise. Cunt. 

 

And Bob, you were a hero to us on the date thread but now you use terms like ‘avo’. 

 

Its a fucking avocado and it only should

be used to make guacamole. Well I guess the pit can be used for Mook as a buttplug.

 

I literally have breakfast shock and may never recover, doomed to wander the streets asking for crispy streaky bacon and hunting down avo wankers. 

 

And vampires now eating raw black pudding. 

 

 

Brilliant. 

[Barrington Womble]

11 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

Yolks have to be runny. You can’t beat dipping a sausage in a fried egg or soldiers in a soft boiled egg.

A fried slice dipped in the yoke beats all that too for me. 

 

As for this hard egg shit. Sick in the head. People are watching too much porn if they think hard is always better than soft. 

[lifetime fan]

Just now, Barry Wom said:

A fried slice dipped in the yoke beats all that too for me. 

 

As for this hard egg shit. Sick in the head. People are watching too much porn if they think hard is always better than soft. 

 

I don’t eat eggs but would only ever cook them with a runny yolk. 

[Barrington Womble]

Just now, lifetime fan said:

 

I don’t eat eggs but would only ever cook them with a runny yolk. 

Even non-eggers know hard eggs are wrong. 

[Anubis]

I think there is one scenario where a hard egg is ok - when you’re getting sausage and egg or bacon and egg on toast to go, and you don’t want to slop yolk down your work clothes.

[Barrington Womble]

8 minutes ago, Anubis said:

I think there is one scenario where a hard egg is ok - when you’re getting sausage and egg or bacon and egg on toast to go, and you don’t want to slop yolk down your work clothes.

I feel that position. I had a sausage, bacon and egg sandwich this morning. I cook the yoke to a point where it is not completely runny, nor is it a solid waste of space. 

 

The wrong uns are everywhere this weekend

https://www-coventrytelegraph-net.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/uk-world-news/how-cook-full-english-slow-16959814.amp?amp_js_v=a2&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQCKAE%3D#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From %1%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.coventrytelegraph.net%2Fnews%2Fuk-world-news%2Fhow-cook-full-english-slow-16959814

[aRdja]

3 minutes ago, Barry Wom said:

I feel that position. I had a sausage, bacon and egg sandwich this morning. I cook the yoke to a point where it is not completely runny, nor is it a solid waste of space. 

 

The wrong uns are everywhere this weekend

https://www-coventrytelegraph-net.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/uk-world-news/how-cook-full-english-slow-16959814.amp?amp_js_v=a2&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQCKAE%3D#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From %1%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.coventrytelegraph.net%2Fnews%2Fuk-world-news%2Fhow-cook-full-english-slow-16959814

Lucky we don’t own a slow cooker.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Egg yolks have to be runny imo, unless i'm in the mood for scrambled egg. Our family is split though. Runny for Daughter, youngest son and myself, hard for the missus and eldest son. 

 

Poached/fried------scrambled-------------------------boiled. 

[Rico1304]

I’ve also heard your wife likes it hard.  

[Karl_b]

I admire those souls that keep this thread going, through their commitment to the cooked breakfast, good or bad. Their valiant efforts just show up those that are quick to criticise without stepping up to post their own attempts. 

[Rico1304]

Sausages cooked in the oven are much nicer than grilled or fried.  

[Carvalho Diablo]

10 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

I admire those souls that keep this thread going, through their commitment to the cooked breakfast, good or bad. Their valiant efforts just show up those that are quick to criticise without stepping up to post their own attempts. 

Yourr post just reminded me of that bird from Sons and Daughters, who did that video. Mmm, repped.

[Mudface]

9 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Sausages cooked in the oven are much nicer than grilled or fried.  

I quite often bake them, they're at least as good as grilled, better than fried, and you don't have to turn them as often. It's the future.

[Dr Nowt]

52 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

I admire those souls that keep this thread going, through their commitment to the cooked breakfast, good or bad. Their valiant efforts just show up those that are quick to criticise without stepping up to post their own attempts. 

Challenge accepted.

 

Pick the bones out of this.