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What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

ISeeRed

By ISeeRed,
in GF - General Forum

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Beans with a full English?  

229 members have voted

  1. 1. Beans with a full English?

    • Aye, bean me up, Scotty.
      124
    • Nay, poke your beans up your bum, one at a time.
      73

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Curly Grand Master

Curly

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

You could tell aRdja it cost you £15.80 at Cafe Ned Smanks, at Tosser's Lane in Hackney, and you might get away with it, but when Lifey sees that toast you are fucked.

Hahaha

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Dr Arthur De Sabre
Dr Arthur De Sabre

Gather round boys, I’m back from the future:     home made pizza bases- hence the authentic misshapenness. couple of pork sausages, black pudding, beans - loads of the fuckers

Bernard Diomede
Bernard Diomede

Me Ma’s effort today, everything cooked exactly as I like it. Minus a point for the lack of black pudding the lazy cow and half a point for one of the sausages breaking. 2 pieces of toast accompanied

Atticus Finch
Atticus Finch

Just done me and the mrs a cooked breakfast for tea, been on the allotment all day and was starving. Mrs asked why I was taking a photo, told her it was so I could be abused by strange men off the int

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Pureblood Grand Master

Pureblood

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, belarus said:

Right, my first ever entry on here. It’s a homemade job for me and Mrs belarus. I’m a pro beaner, but like to get them when I want them, not have them swarming my plate. Let’s have your worst you bunch of cunts...

 

 

6B87C9EE-1A9C-489B-9A29-1F874715FAC4.jpeg

Sadness in its eyes.

 

CT1sWwRWUAA8L0c.jpg

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KMD7 Grand Master

KMD7

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, cloggypop said:

No bacon, fishcakes, margarine on stale white bread, cherry tomatoes, broken yolk. Takes up half a table with plates and bowl. It's only the beans that save it. 

 

-2/10

 

 

Generous there Cloggy.

 

Is that margarine spread on the warmed up bread there?

- infinity/10

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Curly Grand Master

Curly

Posted
Posted

Ok, admittedly the toast looks bad and it had cooled down longer than it should. Call me a weirdo, but I actually prefer it like that than hot and melted with a breakfast. Hot and melted with a brew and all other things though.

 

And that’s half a tin of beans - it would completely overtake the plate. I ate them all like and stand by my despising to separate.

 

Still can’t believe Stig went at my eggs - they were unbeatable.

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Remmie Grand Master

Remmie

Posted
Posted

Those eggs look like they've been chucked in the bottom of a welly and then worn during a meatloaf set. The mushrooms are drier than the surface of the sun, the bread looks like it's been painted with phlegm and stuck in the freezer, the plate has been pebble dashed by a piss head power sharting last night's vindaloo and meths. You're right to be ashamed of your beans and I don't know much about rostis but if they are an alternative to hash browns that's like getting pissed on by Gary Glitter rather than Jimmy Saville. Did you cook the tomatoes with a hair dryer? 

 

Would probably eat the veggie sausages and place mat, 3/406

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Captain Turdseye Grand Master

Captain Turdseye

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, belarus said:

Ok, admittedly the toast looks bad and it had cooled down longer than it should. Call me a weirdo, but I actually prefer it like that than hot and melted with a breakfast. Hot and melted with a brew and all other things though.

 

And that’s half a tin of beans - it would completely overtake the plate. I ate them all like and stand by my despising to separate.

 

Still can’t believe Stig went at my eggs - they were unbeatable.

 

The fuck? I assumed that was just buttered bread. Your toaster is fucked mate. 

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Bjornebye Grand Master

Bjornebye

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Nunavut Patrick said:

The sausages look drier than a Mongol camel in the Gobi Desert.

 

They (I say they but what we all know is that they are two perfectly formed arse snakes) caught some of the blow from the hairdryer he cooked the rest of it with. 

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Anubis Grand Master

Anubis

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, belarus said:

Let’s have your worst you bunch of cunts...

 

Part of the fish cake has broken off at the bottom, and like The Thing, is on it's way to infect and replicate other living organisms.

 

 

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Fugitive Grand Master

Fugitive

Posted
Posted
21 hours ago, belarus said:

Right, my first ever entry on here. It’s a homemade job for me and Mrs belarus. I’m a pro beaner, but like to get them when I want them, not have them swarming my plate. Let’s have your worst you bunch of cunts...

 

 

6B87C9EE-1A9C-489B-9A29-1F874715FAC4.jpeg

Fucking hell!!! I can’t believe you actually gave that to your Mrs. It’s so bad, it could be classed as domestic abuse.

 

I hate you.

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Curly Grand Master

Curly

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Fugitive said:

Fucking hell!!! I can’t believe you actually gave that to your Mrs. It’s so bad, it could be classed as domestic abuse.

 

I hate you.

Haha. I saw the notification that you had responded and I clicked on it with one eye shut.

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Curly Grand Master

Curly

Posted
Posted
26 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Is that because your missus gave you a black eye for serving her hell on a plate ? 

Haha. She absolutely loved it.

 

I read all the replies out to her off here and she got dead defensive and kept asking why I go on this site if everyone is so “mean”.

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Fugitive Grand Master

Fugitive

Posted
Posted
59 minutes ago, belarus said:

Haha. She absolutely loved it.

 

I read all the replies out to her off here and she got dead defensive and kept asking why I go on this site if everyone is so “mean”.

She’s obviously too scared to tell you the truth, you horrible bastard.

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aRdja Grand Master

aRdja

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, belarus said:

Haha. She absolutely loved it.

 

I read all the replies out to her off here and she got dead defensive and kept asking why I go on this site if everyone is so “mean”.

You’ve got of quite lightly here to tell you the truth.

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