Nicotine and pooing

[Lurtz]

I quit smoking cigs just over 3 years ago. These days, though, I have the odd Hamlet with a glass of wine, only about once a week. Every time I have a cigar, however, I get the urge to have a massive poo. Why's that then?

[odris]

When i was younger i tried smoking but every time i did i needed a banging shit, weird.

[Flying Pig]

Are you sticking it up your arse?

[SammyAftershave]

Is it possible your choice of panatella was rolled on a fat slags arse rather than a maiden's thigh?

[Stouffer]

Tab.

Brew.

Dump.

[Fugitive]

I quit smoking cigs just over 3 years ago. These days, though, I have the odd Hamlet with a glass of wine, only about once a week. Every time I have a cigar, however, I get the urge to have a massive poo. Why's that then?

 

I bet you've got slaves.

[Strontium]

Nicotine is a laxative. It's been known for some time that one of a few positive effects of smoking is a lowered risk of some bowel diseases. Of course, the negative effects are far greater. That's what it is anyway.

[snez1]

Yep, whenever i have a smoke combined with a brew i need an almighty shit.

[Guido]

Visual association.

 

 

Plus, you're not supposed to eat them.

[Elmyn Noos]

Nicotine is a laxative. It's been known for some time that one of a few positive effects of smoking is a lowered risk of some bowel diseases. Of course, the negative effects are far greater. That's what it is anyway.

 

Wrong. The positive effects of smoking far outweigh the negatives. Smoking is cool, and you can't put a price on cool. Sure, according to some medical nerds you might not live forever if you smoke, but better to die cool than to live uncool.

 

And if it shifts the shit out of your arse a little quicker to boot, then it's got to be a winner.

[Flying Pig]

Now I understand.

 

[Flying Pig]

[Yerma'satexan!]

Me too. If I'm constipated I will quite often relief it with a ciggie. My girlfriend laughs at me and says I'm a quack, but I swear by it.

[LFC Brian]

When I get up of a morning,first thing I do is have a shower

 

I then sit and have a brew and a cig and then much too my frustration I then always need a shit

 

You would think I would learn to have the cig and brew first

 

I dont !!!

[Uncle_Meat]

Having a smoke whilst curling out a fat one is one of lifes pleasures.

 

This is just simply your brain, in cahoots with your arse, telling you that you're missing out on a quick moment of bliss.

[gazelle]

weird the lot of ya.

[RedinSweden]

I can only agree here. As a lazy arsed student, that was the best start to a day. A brew and a fag on my balcony then wander off to the bogs with a copy of Loaded (early on before the novelty wore off). Bliss

[Paulie Dangerously]

I'm the same mate, if I smoke anything, no matter what time of day it is it acts like an arse-fuse and within minutes of finishing I'm on the bog

[Red '84]

indeed a cigarette on the shitter is the best way to start a day

[Lurtz]

Once again the GF has given me faith in the fact that I'm not actually some kind of physiological weirdo.

 

If anyone can be arsed to invent a nicotine tablet for constipation sufferers I'd like a 75% cut of the profits please. Thanks.

[Stouffer]

You get a totally different poo depending on your tabs, a Marlboro dump is different to a Regal.

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

You get a totally different poo depending on your tabs, a Marlboro dump is different to a Regal.

 

having smoked cigars,tabs,rollups and weed im quite tempted try a pipe just to see what stool i can achieve.

[cochyn]

Wrong. The positive effects of smoking far outweigh the negatives. Smoking is cool, and you can't put a price on cool. Sure, according to some medical nerds you might not live forever if you smoke, but better to die cool than to live uncool.

 

And if it shifts the shit out of your arse a little quicker to boot, then it's got to be a winner.

 

To add fuel to Noos's fire: Those extra years you gain by NOT smoking are tagged onto the end of your life. By which time you'll probably be an incontinent gibbering wreck anyway. So why prolong such agony? Live for now, smoke fags!*

 

*Fags are scientifically PROVEN** to be a natural cure for constipation and the common cold.

 

**By me and a mate, at university. Got a cold? Chain smoke... Egg-bound? Smoke. Cochyn is not accountable at all for his opinions as it's Friday night and he's off down the pub and has had a shit day.

[RoboRiise]

Smoking increases the speed of your metabolism, one of the reasons you gain weight when you quit. It's not all down to eating sweets as a cigarette substitute.

 

Now if it's a truly rapid shit you're looking for, try amphetamine. In fact fuck it - try it anyway, you only live once.

[Lurtz]

Just finished a hamlet. Off to lay a cable, back in a mo.