The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Elite]

56 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

 

For around the house, on the beach, or general wear?

Nudist beach.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

 

For around the house, on the beach, or general wear?

I think he’s planning on being crucified 

[VladimirIlyich]

4 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I think he’s planning on being crucified 

He can' say it's not deserved.

[DalyanPete]

Wife telling Daughters, " you're Dad's had a fall"

Which then becomes, " my Dad's had a fall"

"You're not getting any younger Dad"

The story was, I was wearing, ironically   sliders, slipped and fell into the pool. Bit wet you might say. Well, when the pool has been emptied it's just a 6' hole in the ground. Lying on my back, touched my head and thought, that's not good. Hit the side of pool, then full force onto the floor on my back.

On the 1-10 scale it's been a 12 when coughing, sneezing, burping or getting out of bed. Had cat scan and back and chest xrays, nothing broken. Happened last Friday and pain is down to a 7.

Don't let a Nogsy urchin have a pool.

[YorkshireRed]

6 minutes ago, DalyanPete said:

Wife telling Daughters, " you're Dad's had a fall"

Which then becomes, " my Dad's had a fall"

"You're not getting any younger Dad"

The story was, I was wearing, ironically   sliders, slipped and fell into the pool. Bit wet you might say. Well, when the pool has been emptied it's just a 6' hole in the ground. Lying on my back, touched my head and thought, that's not good. Hit the side of pool, then full force onto the floor on my back.

On the 1-10 scale it's been a 12 when coughing, sneezing, burping or getting out of bed. Had cat scan and back and chest xrays, nothing broken. Happened last Friday and pain is down to a 7.

Don't let a Nogsy urchin have a pool.

Sounds nasty, but also that you might have had a lucky escape.

 

Get well soon. 

[DalyanPete]

1 hour ago, YorkshireRed said:

Sounds nasty, but also that you might have had a lucky escape.

 

Get well soon. 

Cheers Yorky, yea I think I did.

My last job was H&S Manager which my son in law was quick to remind me!

[Champ]

1 hour ago, DalyanPete said:

Wife telling Daughters, " you're Dad's had a fall"

Which then becomes, " my Dad's had a fall"

"You're not getting any younger Dad"

The story was, I was wearing, ironically   sliders, slipped and fell into the pool. Bit wet you might say. Well, when the pool has been emptied it's just a 6' hole in the ground. Lying on my back, touched my head and thought, that's not good. Hit the side of pool, then full force onto the floor on my back.

On the 1-10 scale it's been a 12 when coughing, sneezing, burping or getting out of bed. Had cat scan and back and chest xrays, nothing broken. Happened last Friday and pain is down to a 7.

Don't let a Nogsy urchin have a pool.

YR’s red. That sounds like a bit more than ‘a fall.’

[DalyanPete]

27 minutes ago, Champ said:

YR’s red. That sounds like a bit more than ‘a fall.’

Wouldn't disagree Champ, Wife heard me swear as my arms went up, rushed out and couldn't see me thinking I'd gone round the corner. Then she looked down!

I'll spare everyone the head wound photo, looks worse than it was.

It just wasn't my time.

The irony is how the Turks get away with accidents, I have to look away.

Had a worker yesterday holding two bare wires in socket to test the awning as the electrician hadn't turned up.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

2 hours ago, DalyanPete said:

Wife telling Daughters, " you're Dad's had a fall"

Which then becomes, " my Dad's had a fall"

"You're not getting any younger Dad"

The story was, I was wearing, ironically   sliders, slipped and fell into the pool. Bit wet you might say. Well, when the pool has been emptied it's just a 6' hole in the ground. Lying on my back, touched my head and thought, that's not good. Hit the side of pool, then full force onto the floor on my back.

On the 1-10 scale it's been a 12 when coughing, sneezing, burping or getting out of bed. Had cat scan and back and chest xrays, nothing broken. Happened last Friday and pain is down to a 7.

Don't let a Nogsy urchin have a pool.

I slipped on the stairs the other night now nursing two fractured ribs. Don’t wear socks going up the stairs stupid Noggsy sod.

[DalyanPete]

1 minute ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

I slipped on the stairs the other night now nursing two fractured ribs. Don’t wear socks going up the stairs stupid Noggsy sod.

It must be a Nogsy thing! How's your coughing pain?

I slid out of bed onto the floor this morning, had no way to turn and had to shuffle my arse across the floor to the end of the bed to get myself on my feet.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

37 minutes ago, DalyanPete said:

It must be a Nogsy thing! How's your coughing pain?

I slid out of bed onto the floor this morning, had no way to turn and had to shuffle my arse across the floor to the end of the bed to get myself on my feet.

Every movement is sheer pain I coughed earlier and nearly shit myself with the pain.

I’m holding onto anything and anyone to move if I can, sitting is pain, lying is pain it’s fucking awful mate.

[YorkshireRed]

19 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

lying is pain

Tell the truth then.

 

Apologies. Get well soon. 

[DalyanPete]

11 hours ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Every movement is sheer pain I coughed earlier and nearly shit myself with the pain.

I’m holding onto anything and anyone to move if I can, sitting is pain, lying is pain it’s fucking awful mate.

Feeling your pain brother. Hope it doesn't last too long. 

[VladimirIlyich]

If only the pool had been filled with water. You'd have drowned instead!

Get better soon mate.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

7 hours ago, DalyanPete said:

Feeling your pain brother. Hope it doesn't last too long. 

Same with you mate.

[DalyanPete]

8 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

If only the pool had been filled with water. You'd have drowned instead!

Get better soon mate.

Ha ha, but I wouldn't have been in so much pain.

[tokyojoe]

Get well soon mate. I remember walking on a pavement over a dried out stream in Greece. No barriers, no warning signs, nothing. Fortunately it was broad daylight but dreaded the thought of walking there at night, especially if I was pissed.

 

10ft drop to solid concrete. I feel your pain, best wishes.

[Harry's Lad]

Nasty. Get well soon mate.

 

[Section_31]

Biggest sign of age on this thread is people have fallen over and everyone is wincing and not laughing.

[Section_31]

Me trying to read a menu in low light.

 

 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

Me trying to read a menu in low light.

 

 

If we go out to the theatre and for something to eat, I have to take two pairs of specs: one for the stage and one for the menu.

[Section_31]

11 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

If we go out to the theatre and for something to eat, I have to take two pairs of specs: one for the stage and one for the menu.

 

It's getting fucking ridiculous this age shit. 

[Jose Jones]

Went to a mate’s 60th birthday last night. 60th, fucking hell.

 

6 hours of free bar and no hangover this morning though. I might still have it.

[YorkshireRed]

I had a pain free day the other week. I made the mistake of saying that out loud to the wife. 
 

Since then I’ve had problems with my knee, ankle, foot and face. My ears have also become blocked. 
 

I don’t think she’s responsible but I wouldn’t put it past her. 

[elvis]

On 14/03/2024 at 15:40, DalyanPete said:

Wouldn't disagree Champ, Wife heard me swear as my arms went up, rushed out and couldn't see me thinking I'd gone round the corner. Then she looked down!

I'll spare everyone the head wound photo, looks worse than it was.

It just wasn't my time.

The irony is how the Turks get away with accidents, I have to look away.

Had a worker yesterday holding two bare wires in socket to test the awning as the electrician hadn't turned up.

Brother of mine , who fancied himself as an all-rounder in the building trade and in the absence of any wire strippers , and also believing the power was off decided it would be a good idea to bare a couple of cables with his teeth. 

You can guess the rest !