Someone's having a real laugh - gollum?

[ZonkoVille77]

This thread ia exactly why I pay to be a member of this site. Madness, car bonnets, Davy Moyes, Mata will get them top 4.... It has the lot. Gold.

[Sut]

Testify!

I thought you wanted the thread back on track?

 

 

Manchester United must look to past English success to conquer Bayern

 

http://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2014/apr/08/manchester-united-english-bayern-munich-allianz-arena-champions-league

 

Manchester United should look no further than Chelsea, Manchester City and Arsenal – on two occasions – for how to execute a successful raid onBayern Munich.

 

With the Champions League quarter-final poised at 1-1 after last week's first leg at Old Trafford, David Moyes's team need to score at the Allianz Arena on Wednesday eveningor they will be knocked out by Pep Guardiola's team of pass-and-move masters.

 

Yet do not expect a gung-ho attacking mentality as United try to become the fourth Premier League club in succession to silence the Bavarians in their own house. Moyes will look at how these results were achieved and have his natural instinct to set up teams in hard-to-beat fashion, with an emphasis on counterattacking confirmed.

 

Arsenal, Manchester City and Chelsea have all beaten Bayern at the Allianz Arena since 2012, with the Gunners also managing a draw in last month's round-of-16 tie.

 

In all of these the story was how Bayern had superiority in possession and territory yet enjoyed no happy ending. Moyes believes this could affect them.

 

"It would be something which is more in Bayern's mind, that the English teams have come here and got a good record," says the Scot.

 

"They will have that doubt in their mind. They are European champions but they will have the games they have played against English teams in mind. We will try to use it to our advantage."

 

Chelsea's victory came in a 2012 Champions League final of cat-and-mouse that was goalless until Thomas Müller struck on 83 minutes before Didier Drogba's equaliser presaged a famous penalty shootout victory to secure the trophy.

 

While Arjen Robben, Franck Ribèry and co dominated the ball, Roberto Di Matteo's Chelsea proved to be dogged opponents. With Drogba the lone striker, the team took up almost permanent camp near their area.

 

Arsène Wenger eschewed his penchant for swashbuckling play in Arsenal's last-16 win in the 2012-13 competition, and the draw during the current campaign, and informed his side they should defer to Bayern then hope to punish them on the break.

 

In December Manuel Pellegrini sent his City side out in Bavaria in a cautious formation that had a five-man midfield and Edin Dzeko as the lone attacker. Going 2-0 down after only 12 minutes forced the visitors' hand and was the catalyst for a famous comeback win, 3-2.

 

Last week Moyes did a similar number on Guardiola at Old Trafford. The Scot packed the midfield with Michael Carrick, Ryan Giggs, Marouane Fellaini, Danny Welbeck and Antonio Valencia, the latter two being asked to protect the full-backs, Phil Jones and Alexander Büttner. While Jupp Heynckes was in charge of Bayern for Chelsea's victory and Arsenal's win, Guardiola's personal score at the Allianz against English opposition is drawn one, lost one.

 

The Spaniard's CV also features Chelsea's 2012 semi-final win against his Barcelona team, when the London club defended a 1-0 first leg advantage by drawing 2-2 at the Camp Nou.

 

When Bayern's record in their last four outings against English opposition is put to Guardiola he offers a clear explanation. "They are so defensive teams and use the counter action very well.

 

"That is why it's always difficult when one team stays there just to defend, to wait until you make a mistake," the 43-year-old says. "They come to defend and wait for the counterattack. Maybe I am wrong, maybe David Moyes thinks another thing, but I think they are going to wait back with eight or nine players in the box, await our mistake and wait for a free-kick or a corner to punish us."

 

Bastian Schweinsteiger's away strike means United must score. Yet listening to Wayne Rooney speak only reiterates the sense of a team preparing for a repeat hit-and-run strategy.

 

Recalling the semi-final in United's triumphant 2007-08 Champions League campaign, he says: "There are times when teams are better than you but you've got to adapt the way you play to try and beat then. When we played Barcelona away, in 2008, I remember playing right wing, with Owen Hargreaves at right-back and we had [Eric] Abidal and [Andrés] Iniesta against us. I remember thinking: 'Jesus! I've got to do this.'

 

"It was a long night but we defended very well, got the 0-0 and won 1-0 in the return."

 

Questioned why it will be different this time against an English team, Guardiola is defiant.

 

"We are playing at the Allianz Arena, so that is an important point. We have got to make sure we keep our form," he says. "We had five or six really good chances there and Manchester United had just one for the [Nemanja] Vidic goal. They didn't have any other chances."

 

Here, Guardiola forgets Danny Welbeck's disallowed finish and the golden chance he spurned when chipping straight at Manuel Neuer.

 

How did this latter opportunity materialise? By United waiting for the right moment, springing the counter and releasing Welbeck, whose pace took him behind Bayern with ease.

 

Expect this to be attempted again on Wednesday. And expect a riveting evening if Welbeck – or any United player – can this time convert.

[Trumo]

[redheart]

Careful now. Dennis knows professional people like Dentists and people who can spell. Not work shy layabouts and fops like you lot

 

[Pidge]

Is dennis done by the same guy who does si?

[General Dryness]

I hate me ma so Im in full agreement.

Which must really make you mad.

 

Apoplectic D'enni, to be honest. I might go and "bonnet" someone, and then get offered a deal for 70 hours community service for failing to return a library book entitled "How to Convince Nobody" by D.Tooth.

[General Dryness]

 

Is Dennis scottish?

[AndMjaa]

https://vine.co/v/M561izaYOPF

[AndMjaa]

[A_S]

Continues the perfect narrative. Plucky United etc etc. Moyes needs more time etc etc.

[Einch]

From the Telegraph minute-by-minute:

 

89 min here should be no regrets for United. They are out of their depth, but they hid that pretty well for most of the tie. Their only significant mistake tonight was to score a goal. Folk will wonder what might have happened had they not conceded an equaliser straight away. They would have conceded an equaliser a few minutes later; that's what would have happened.

 

Well done Moyes. Well done indeed.

[TheBitch]

Get in the bin, you fucking dickheads.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Wibble

 

[Guest davelfc]

 

Fucking hell, he's 51. He must have had seven bad paper rounds, he looks in his 60's

[dandyman]

Wibble

 

Laugh.....

 

 

I think I've pissed myself

[fowler9]

well neither leg produced the complete and utter bumming that I was hoping for but they are out and thats what matters

 

Have to admit for a horrible moment when that disgusting human Evra scored though I did think "oh shit they're actually going to fluke it again aren't they"

 

Very disappointed in Bayern over the majority of the two legs until they turned up when they needed to in the second half tonight and although the hilarious annihilation wasn't to happen what we saw tonight really did show what Moyes has turned Manchester United into, a team happy not to get absolutely battered treating a quarter final like a final and being praised for their pluckiness despite not managing to create a single clear cut chance

 

Long Live David Moyes

[Russ Atmosphere]

[Pidge]

Was saying at work earlier, the last thing I'd want is a Chelsea/Utd semi final so pleased that we avoid the "guaranteed Brit finalist".

[Anubis]

Judging by the post-match thread on Red Cafe it looks like Moyes has pulled it out the bag. He's got the United fans acting like plucky underdogs the way Evertonians used to, like brow beaten domestic violence victims.

[Boss]

David Moyes - "I thought we did what we had to do"

 

After losing 3-1 to Bayern.

[Russ Atmosphere]

Note to Sky, a more apt close-out tune, Pogues 'Fiesta'.

[The Acolyte]

 

Fucking hell, he's 51. He must have had seven bad paper rounds, he looks in his 60's

I've got less wrinkles on my arse hole!

[Adebisi]

Moyes Moyes Moyes..

[Dr Nowt]

 

Fucking hell, he's 51. He must have had seven bad paper rounds, he looks in his 60's

 

"Sorrow in a suit", I heard him described as earlier.

[manwiththestick]

When asked about attracting players in the summer he basically admitted to tapping up: "We've had a quiet word in a few players ears and the sounds are promising"

 

I'm paraphrasing slightly but you get the jist. Bet Jagielka is chuffed.