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Saturday Nov 30: L 2 Brighton 1 Three points, a huge sigh of relief but bloody hell, that wasn’t much fun. It was fucking freezing and the performance matched it. Ok, that’s not entirely fair as the opening half an hour was good and we should have been out of sight. Matt Ryan pulled off some good saves though and although we did go two up through Big Virg, the handsome towering bastard, we ran out of steam and it looked like the Napoli game had taken a heavy toll. Still, we weren’t in any trouble until Alisson’s moment of madness, and even then we’d have been fine but for the incompetence / bias (delete as appropriate) of Martin Atkinson. I absolutely can’t get my head around why he isn’t being hammered for what he did. I don’t know if what he did was within the rules, but morally it was dodgy as fuck which is why you almost never see it. When do you ever see a ref blow his whistle when the keeper is on the post lining up his wall? Virtually never. So call me paranoid but when I see a ref who has screwed us frequently of late make a call like that, I’m going to think something is up. This twat needs keeping away from our games, but he’s on the VAR for the derby. As I said last week though, it will take a brave man to over-rule any Mike Dean decision, so if we get hosed on Wednesday it will be by the beady eyed Birkenhead official, not Atkinson. Tell you one thing I noticed today though. Lewis Dunk is a much better player than I thought. I had him down as a Burnley type, sit deep with lots of protection and head everything away type of centre half, but he's not. He's really good. He's the player that people wrongly believe Harry Maguire to be. No wonder Leicester wanted him to replace Maguire, and no wonder Brighton were demanding a similar fee. Sunday Dec 1: Started watching that Barca documentary yesterday and finished it today. I was shocked. They're absolute dickheads. It’s no wonder they bottled it at Anfield. Prior to kick off they're all sat there, nobody is talking to eachother, half of them are looking terrified and Coutinho is actually praying. There's complete silence in the dressing room and they can all hear YNWA being played and the crowd singing. 
 If I'd been in there I'd have banged Livin on a Prayer or 500 Miles on the sound system so fucking loud they couldn't hear the crowd singing and they’d have been so fired up they’d be ready to eat raw steak. As it was, they looked like they were gladiators about to go into the arena to be fed to lions. Which they were, as it turned out. How can a club that big, and so successful, act so amateurishly? Meanwhile, Paul Scholes says Freddie Ljungberg isn’t the man for Arsenal because… wait for it…. he wasn’t wearing a suit today. I don’t even know where to start, so I won’t. Monday Dec 2: Another tweet by LFC about the rainbow laces is accompanied by loads more replies by homophobes. I had a look through and a lot of it is based on religion and loads of the fuckers were tagging Mo in and asking “are you ok with this?”. Have a day off, you fucking weirdos. Fair play to the lad who went through the thread replying to all the bigots with a gif of two fellas necking though. That’s next level trolling. Great work. As expected, Messi won the Balon d’Or. You know why he won it? Because he plays in a one man team, whereas Virg lost votes to SIX of his other team mates. We had four of the top seven, and the African votes went mainly to Sadio and Mo so that screwed Virg over. Fair play to the Sri Lankan fella who named Trent as his winner. Not a single fuck was given from that guy. Virg made a joke about how Ronaldo wasn’t really a rival for the award (somehow he finished third though) and ended up in a twitter spat with Piers fucking Morgan, who stuck his oar in and had a go at the big fella. Ronaldo’s sister chimed in too. Jesus. He was joking, but you know what, if he’d just come out said “what the fuck is he doing in the top three?” he’d have been spot on. “Oh you can’t say that, Ronaldo has done more than you ever will” blah blah blah. That’s true, but what the fuck relevance does his glittering career have on an award based on performances in 2019? None, that’s what, so pipe down, cunts. You know what we do need to talk about? Mahrez making the top ten. He’s not even in the top ten at City for 2019, let alone the world. You know what else we need to talk about? Trent not making the top ten for u21 players yet he was 19th in the main award. Explain that? The FA Cup draw sees us playing the Blues at Anfield. Terrible for both teams that. Normally we’d play the kids, but I’m not in favour of that this time. If it was at Goodison then I wouldn’t be too arsed, but we can’t let them win at Anfield so playing our usual cup line up shouldn’t be an option this time. It’s an added complication we didn’t need. Meanwhile, having won the youth cup last year tonight we fell at the first hurdle, losing away at Spurs. The line up was a bit weird. There were some lads who hardly play, while Hoever was included even though the 23s played tonight as well. There was no Jones, Van Den Berg or Elliott in either game and Brewster didn’t feature for the 23s. No idea what’s going on here really. Tuesday Dec 3: Tom Hicks comes out of whatever hole he’s been hiding in and does an in depth interview about his time owning the Reds. I didn’t read it and have intention of ever doing so. There’s nothing he can say that’s of any interest to me now. The only time I want to hear about him is when he dies, which I briefly thought was today when I saw his name trending. Disappointing, but won’t be long, hopefully. His son is part of the Trump administration team, which should come as a surprise to no-one. Family of cunts, associating with cunts. On the field tonight, City won at Burnley and Trevor Sinclair took to twitter to take a shot at us, even using the term ‘dippers’. To be fair to him, he was almost certainly pissed. There’s also a reasonable chance he was behind the wheel given his track record. He’s a twat and I didn’t need this tonight to know that. I’ve heard him on the radio enough to know he’s thick as fuck and fairly unpleasant. In fact, he’s the most unlikeable man on Talksport, which is quite the achievement when you take into account Jason Cundy is there too. Fuck Sinclair and fuck his ‘I’m sorry if you were offended’ apology. As for his “City are coming for you” bravado? Yeah, I’m terrified. Wednesday Dec 4: L 5 Everton 2 Great that. The quality of the goals was off the charts. Every one seemed better than the last and even the fifth one (which wasn’t as spectacular as the previous four) had something to savour about it as Bobby completely ruined that Holgate tit before teeing up Gini. The first four goals though. Jesus. I know Everton were suspect defensively, but it’s not like they gave us four presents. Every one of those goals needed a moment of world class play or it wouldn’t have happened. The first is an unreal pass by Sadio. The second was an unreal pass by Trent. The third was an incredible touch and finish by Divock and the fourth is a wonderfully placed first time shot on the run that went right in the corner. On another day, none of those end up in a goal because you just don’t see things like that every week. It was incredible stuff. Poor Marco Silva must have been wondering what the fuck he did to deserve that, as they just walked into a buzz saw. I actually thought Everton’s performance was better than usual. They looked quite dangerous themselves at times but no-one was going to be able to live with us in this mood. It’s funny that the two big games we’ve played with this front three has seen us score nine goals. Origi is much better through the middle than he is out wide, and tonight Big Shaq was sensational. An absolute joy to watch, made up to see him back. How depressing must it be to be a blue right now though? Some of them left at 2-0 while those that stayed had to listen to the Kop taking the piss out of them all night. I love the “Merry Christmas Everton” song, always have. The “he’s only got little arms” is funny, but the highlight of the night (goals apart) was throwing that “we’re gonna have a party when Tottenham win the cup” chant right back in their faces. That was just brutal. It was embarrassing when they did it and I’m sure there will have been some blues who didn’t like it for this very reason. Things like that can blow up in your faces, and boy did this blow up on them. That was the most savage burn I’ve seen delivered to away fans since we were all taunting the Mancs with “always look on the bright side of life” when we stopped them winning the league. There’s nothing finer than hoisting some cunt with their own petard. Thursday Dec 5: Goodnight sweet prince. Silva is gone and in his place will be the dream team of Big Dunk and Franny Jeffers. John Ebbrell is one of the assistants too. May as well go and bust Richard Gough and Davie Weir out of the old folk’s home and get the entire band back together. See, this is why I had to stop writing piss take articles about them. When their reality became funnier than any gag I could come up with, then what’s the point? Every day it just gets worse for them. I was in the car today and Adrian Durham’s show was dedicated to the mess at Everton and how they fix it. Then this nugget called up and I nearly crashed the car…. Ok, that banshee deserves whatever shit is thrown her way, but ignore the voice for a second and zoom out a bit. This is a bunch of Evertonians singing “going down, are we fuck, we’re gonna win the cup”. There’s another video of a different group of Blues singing “going down, are we fuck, stay up and win the cup”. I only wish they’d sang it at Anfield the other night, as it would have been an all timer. I don’t even think the Kop would have been able to respond to it, as what do you even say to that? As a reminder, they play Leicester in the league cup and then have to go to Anfield in the FA Cup. They won’t go down, but there’s more chance of that than there is them winning anything. Meanwhile, Anfield was set to play host to an England game but the FA have pulled the plug because S*n journalists are banned. Good for LFC that they aren’t willing to back down on this. It doesn’t matter that I’d rather England were nowhere near Anfield, as my feelings on that are irrelevant. There will have been good money to made from this so it’s refreshing to see the club put principle first. Fuck the S*n and fuck the FA. ….and that was the week that was

Steve Bruce, he’s got a beautiful head, he’s got a beautiful head, he’s got a beautiful head. What a guy. What a result. Good old Newcastle eh? I’d been following the game on the way to Anfield and when news came through of De Bruyne’s late screamer, it was a case of ‘ah well, never mind, still eight points clear if we beat Brighton’. I was stood outside the Kop when I heard a cheer coming from the Albert that could mean only one thing; Newcastle had equalised. I would quite happily have hugged Steve Bruce at that moment and I won’t even say what I’d have been prepared to do to our old mate Jonjo. Leicester may be our nearest challengers but every point dropped by City is huge. Eleven points is a big gap and will take a lot of closing, but anyone dismissing them needs their head testing. If the gap gets to 14 or 15 then maybe I’ll relax, but last season cut deep and I’ll be the last one to arrive at Man City’s funeral. Fair play to Newcastle though, they aren’t scared of City are they? They were one of the few sides to beat them last season and now they’ve come from behind twice to snatch a draw. It’s funny really, because all I do is rip Newcastle and Wolves fans, but along with us, those two teams have done more to slow City down than virtually anyone else over the last couple of seasons. What makes Newcastle’s record against City more impressive is they always seem to concede first and then come back. Last year they came from behind to win, this time they twice came back to grab a draw. Sterling put City in front as the ball ricocheted off four players before landing perfectly for him to find the bottom corner. Newcastle hit back immediately though as Almiron found Willens and he lashed one in the bottom corner. Almiron looked all emotional as it was his first assist apparently. I knew he hadn’t scored yet but to not have had an assist either is just shit, as he’s played 25 games or something. I don’t know how that’s even possible. As you’d expect, City had chances but they weren’t exactly peppering the Newcastle goal. Dubravka made a couple of decent saves but was eventually beaten by that De Bruyne thunderbolt. Shades of Tony Yeboah about that. They always look better when they go in off the bar. Then up stepped the Redmen to save the day. Javi Manquillo won a free-kick and when the ball was rolled back across the edge of the box, good arl Jonjo lashed one into the corner. The only way that could have been better is if Big Andy had come off the bench to score the winner, but that didn’t happen because he’s fucking injured. Again. While City were dropping two points and falling further behind, another of the chasing pack were faring even worse. A little over a week ago Chelsea were within eight points of us. Two successive defeats later and they’re just a spot in our wing mirror now. Losing at home to West Ham was a real shocker, as they haven’t been beating anybody for months. Mind you, I have been saying that their biggest problem is that wiseguy keeper who keeps throwing them in. Pellegrini finally dropped him and went with former Red David Martin instead. He’s 33 and this was his Premier League debut having spent his entire career either on our bench or in the lower leagues. He kept a clean sheet, broke down in tears at full time and then climbed up into the stands to celebrate with his Dad, Hammers legend Alvin. Lovely scene that, nice moment for them both. Admittedly, if he wasn’t a former Red I might have been less moved by it and might even have called him a bit of a fanny, but he’s a good lad so I’m genuinely happy for him. Cresswell got the only goal of the game but it wasn’t exactly smash and grab as they had some other great chances too. Remarkably, Chelsea didn’t commit a single foul in the entire game. Ron Chopper Harris will be turning in his grave. How is that even possible? Moving on, and Mourinho’s start at Spurs had been uncharacteristically entertaining, with them win their first two games 3-2. It looked like they were going to have a much easier time of it when they raced into a 3-0 lead over Bournemouth on Saturday, but Harry Wilson came off the bench to score twice and put the shits up the Londoners. Alli had opened the scoring and Spurs then had one ruled out by VAR after the ball inadvertently struck the hand of Sanchez just before he scored. Under the new rule it was the correct decision, but it’s harsh as fuck really. Alli’s brilliant finish extended their lead and Sissoko made it three with an acrobatic volley. The overnight transformation of Alli really is something to behold. He went from shite to class in the time it took Poch to collect his p45 and Jose to walk through the door. A trademark Wilson free-kick followed by a close range effort made it interesting at the end, and Spurs needed a last ditch challenge from Vertonghen to deny Callum Wilson a dramatic equaliser. Southampton are showing signs of life now. They hit rock bottom when they lost at home to Everton but they’ve been better since. They beat bottom club Watford at St Mary’s and then followed it up by beating second bottom Norwich. That took the third from bottom Saints above Everton, which was nice. Sarr had given Watford the lead with a powerful finish after a mistake by Stephens had sent him clear. He hasn’t played much yet but I liked him at the last World Cup and am interested to see how he does. He almost made it 2-0 with a brilliant volley that was saved by McCarthy. Ings then thought he should have had a penalty when he closed down Foster and was hauled down. Michael Oliver gave the foul against him though. He took the easy option there, as Foster ran into Ings and he just couldn’t get out of the way. Ingsy stuck at it though and bagged his seventh goal of the season to draw Southampton level. I wonder if he’s had his annual bet with Mo this year as to who will score the most? He might actually win this one the way things are going. It shouldn’t have stood though as Djnepro handled in the build up. Unintentional, but under the new rule that shouldn’t have stood. Ward-Prowse won it with a brilliant free-kick late on. It’s between him and Wilson as to who is the best free-kick taker in the league I reckon. Give Trent another year to perfect his craft and he’ll be number one though. On that note, is it just me or do we hardly ever get free-kicks on the edge of the box? Watford reacted to that loss by sacking Quique Flores after about a month. Weird club them, but there is method in their madness I think. By that I mean they don’t fuck about when they think a manager isn’t going to get it done. I sort of understand their logic, but eventually they’re going to have to get one right, surely? Chris Hughton was the early favourite for the job and he would have been a sensible choice I reckon. Really though, they should go for Allardyce. Seriously. He’d keep them up and my boy Troy would have the time of his life as the focal point of a Fat Sam team. You know what’s fucking mental? Palace continuing to make my assessment of them look foolish. I stand by every word though, I’m right. They’re fucking shite and look like a bottom six side to me. Yet they’re fifth. FIFTH!! They won at Burnley and then beat Bournemouth at home despite going to ten men early when Big Mama recklessly got himself sent off. I don’t know how they’re doing it. It defies all known logic. Zaha and Schlupp got the goals at Burnley and Schlupp came up trumps for them again in midweek, which I’ll get to later. Onto Sunday now, and… fucking hell, Everton. That was cruelI wanted them to win because I’d like Leicester to be a long way off when we have to go to their place over Christmas. An eight point lead could become five if they beat us, which they could because we’ll be running on fumes at that point. So yeah, an Everton win would have been sound and for a while it looked like they might pull it off. They led through a bullet Richarlison header but ended up going home with nothing after Vardy equalised and then that Iheanacho cunt won it in time added on at the end of time added on. Fuck that shithouse. The last time we saw him he was deliberately missing a sitter against City to help his old mates win the title. No exaggeration, I hate him more than I hate any other player in the league, because as I wrote at the time I’m 100% sure he did that deliberately. Just to add to Everton’s woe this one was initially ruled out for offside but overturned by VAR. If you slow the video down you can see the exact moment that Marco Silva’s heart is torn in two. I don’t know how they work those things out because for the life of me I don’t see how that is onside when Bobby was ruled off for one that looked far less dubious. They make it up as they go along it seems. Even though this was Everton losing in the most heartbreaking way possible, I took zero pleasure out of it. Unlike a lot of Blues, who got the double bonus of Silva moving another step closer to the exit door and Leicester staying within touching distance of us. I wonder if they were planning any parties for “when Leicester win the league” or if they’re still living vicariously through Man City’s success? Silva has gone now and that will be covered in depth in the diary this week, so I’ll not dwell on it here other than to say I felt for him at the end of this game and I bear him no ill will. He didn’t deserve that even if their fans did. He seemed like a decent fella and never resorted to the standard Blueshite manager behaviour of taking shots at us to curry favour with the mob. Mind you, neither did Koeman and from what I recall Martinez wasn’t really a dick either. Most of the fans don’t want Moyes back apparently, but the fact is they’re made for each other as he’s the very definition of small time bitter bastard. He’s one of them, they belong together. Also on Sunday, Arsenal and United were both held to draws by newly promoted sides, which was nice. I read this week about how Arsenal’s players had been mocking Emery behind his back and it genuinely infuriated me. Just who the fuck do they think they are? Seriously, I’m genuinely riled by the fucking gall of these cunts and their complete lack of self awareness. Arsenal players, you don’t get to laugh at anyone because YOU are the fucking joke here. Everyone is laughing at YOU, because you’ve got no balls and are the softest team in the entire league. Bunch of fair weather, fancy Dan, gutless, overpaid cowards. They were lucky to even get a point as Norwich outplayed them. They led through Pukki’s deflected effort but Arsenal were awarded a penalty when Zimmerman handled. Tim Krul was acting the twat, as he likes to do in these situations, and he was given a yellow card. He then saved Aubamayeng’s pen (after pointing to show he knew where it was going) but it had to be retaken due to encroachment by the player who cleared the rebound. It’s never nice when VAR sticks it’s oar in and kills the moment but this rule actually makes sense. If he hadn’t cleared the ball then the encroachment wouldn’t have been called, which is fair enough I think. The problem is I don’t think he encroached. Looked to me (and Daniel Farke) like his foot was still on the line when the kick was taken. Anyway, Aubamayeng retook it and scored, before gesturing at Krul to shut his mouth. Don’t blame him for doing that to be fair. The reaction to it online was revealing though. Arsenal fans were absolutely buzzing off that on Twitter and it just highlighted to me how little they’ve got going for them these days. It’s like United fans getting their kicks out of Rashford knocking Virgil off balance. We’re jetting off to European Cup finals, tonking Messi & co and going 11 months unbeaten in the league, while Arsenal fans are swinging their dicks because “Auba” shushed Tim Krul. Fucking losers. Cantwell restored Norwich’s lead with a well taken goal but Aubamayeng smashed in an equaliser when Norwich didn’t deal with a corner. It tells you everything you need to know about Arsenal that it was Norwich who finished the game more strongly and had four great chances to win it. Leno made three good saves and another effort went inches wide. Arsenal are a massive gang of shitbags and there is not one player in that squad who would get anywhere near Liverpool or City’s bench, let alone team. Any manager who takes that job needs his fucking head testing, as the entire thing needs ripping up and building again from the ground up. Maybe Ljungberg will end up keeping it. I doubt it, but who else can they get? The links with Brendan were laughable though. Of course he’ll flutter his eyelashes at them and lead them on a bit (even telling people he had a release clause!) as he loves the attention, but he’s not an idiot. He knows he’s onto a good thing at Leicester and he knows Arsenal are a hot mess. He was never going there. Still, using their interest in him got him a five year deal and a pay rise, so job done. United are shite too but I now believe they’re nowhere near as fucked as Arsenal. They’ve at least got a handful of decent players they could try and rebuild around, and they’ll never be short of cash. They could attract another manager, Arsenal are going to be scraping the barrel. United were held at home by Villa, who led early through an absolutely stunning goal by Grealish. I’ve got to be honest here, I’m softening my stance to him. I’ve ripped him for years and always thought he was just a preening twat, but he can fucking play and he works hard too. He’s the most fouled player in the league by a mile, which surprised me. He also said this week that “everyone can lose a game. Except Liverpool”. We’re probably about a month away from “my boy Jack Grealish”. I’m kidding, that’s not gonna happen. At least I hope not. I’m making no promises. Rashford headed United level but Villa continued to look dangerous and hit the post through Trezeguet. Lindelof nodded United in front but Mings volleyed Villa back on terms again. Martial should have won it for United but somehow dinked it over the bar from two yards. Impressively shit that. Finally on Sunday, Wolves were held at home by Sheffield United, who are still unbeaten away this season. Mousset gave them a perfect start with brilliantly taken goal after two minutes and they created some great chances that they just couldn’t take. Doherty stole in at the back post to head Wolves level but the Blades kept pushing and could easily have won it. All things considered, I think pound for pound I’m more impressed with them than anyone else this season. They’re fucking miles better than I thought they’d be and miles better than they probably should be. The midweek games got under way on Tuesday night. On paper a trip to Burnley looked like a potentially tricky one for City, which is why I decided I’ll give it a little watch to see what’s what. I almost didn’t bother when I saw my boy Ashley Barnes wasn’t starting, and I did sack it off at half time because it couldn’t have been more obvious that Burnley had no chance. City’s goals were top drawer and the game was easy for them. I draw no conclusions from that though. It doesn’t mean they’re back in form or we should be worried. It doesn’t mean they aren’t or we shouldn’t either. I’m just saying, this game was more about how shit Burnley were for me. In this fixture last year they were exactly the same, only they managed to hold out for much longer before losing to a scabby goal that was about 3mm over the line. What I remember about that day though was how Burnley caused City no problems whatsoever and it was the same this time. There’s a reason for that. “Because Burnley are shit?” I hear you cry. No, it’s not that. Well, it kind of is, but it’s a little more complex. City’s defence is weak as fuck and you can get at them. Loads of teams have done already this season, including Newcastle at the weekend. Burnley are better than Newcastle, so why can’t they trouble City? I’ll tell you why. Because the way you hurt City is with speed and skill on the break. They leave gaps and if you have the players that can run into those gaps then that’s half the battle. What did Burnley do? They played a big fucking statue up front on his own, with Jeff fucking Hendrick supporting him. City can deal with that all day, and they did. Chris Wood is a fucking yard dog and his decision making was dreadful all night. He even managed to get in the way of a goal bound volley from McNeil, the big fucking dope. A half fit Barnes would have offered more than that big static cunt. If we didn’t have an eleven point lead over City I’d be a lot angrier about this than I am. I’m not actually angry at all. I was at the time, which is why I switched it off, but this isn’t like last season when the situation was a lot more desperate. The sky is blue, water is wet, Burnley are a glorified pub team. *shrugs* City are probably one more defeat away from being out of it. If it goes to 14 points I don’t think they’re pulling that back, so let’s hope Ole and the boys can pull it off this weekend. I’m calling it now, United won’t lose that game because Rashford and James could run all over that City defence. 3-2 to United, you heard it here first. The other game on Tuesday was at Selhurst, where Sakho was sent off early doors for a reckless challenge on Adam Smith. It’s one of those where it feels like a harsh decision because he got the ball and caught the man with his follow through. In general I’m not in favour of that, but Sakho ought to know better than to fly in like that when there was no danger. He’s carrying some timber these days isn’t he? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying he’s fat, but he does look ‘heavy’. He just kind of stomps around the field and it’s surprising he doesn’t leave big fucking sasquatch footprints on the turf. If you’re an opposing striker you’d defo hear him coming. In fact, anyone in the immediate vicinity would. I bet when he walks into the canteen at the training ground everyone knows in advance he’s on his way because of the Jurassic Park style shaking glass of water. Maybe get back on those diet pills, Big Mama. That moment of rashness put Palace up against it, but they dug in and were probably still the better side. Schlupp won it for them with a late solo effort that should have been saved by the keeper. It was well hit but it went in the middle of the goal and seemed to go straight through him. Just an unacceptable display all round from Bournemouth really. Against ten men for so long you can’t be losing a game late on like that, it’s inexcusable. They’re weird though. They’ll win five on the bounce and find themselves in the top half, and then lose seven and be just above the drop zone. Streaky bastards. Hopefully they don’t start one of their winning runs this weekend. Onto Wednesday now, and Mourinho’s revenge didn’t go according to plan. I thought he’d go there and turn United over but Rashford had other ideas. He’ll have been bang up for that game given how little trust Mourinho had in him. United deserved the win and Spurs were disappointing. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how shit United’s starting eleven always is you know. It’s the same with Arsenal too I suppose. You see the line up and assume they must have loads of injuries. Deadbeats like Lingard and Perreira and kids like Greenwood and the random cunt who scored at Sheffield United last week. Rashford opened the scoring with a powerful near post shot that the keeper should have saved. He almost added a worldy shortly after but was denied by the crossbar. Then the keeper clawed one out of the top corner to deny him again. It was all United and Spurs had done fuck all. Then Deli Alli produced a stunning goal out of nothing. That was so, so good. If he keeps this up I might have to go back to moaning on a weekly basis again about how Ian Ayre fucked that deal up. Rashford then won and converted a pen. There was minimal contact and if that was Salah or Mané there’s have been a week long inquisition about it. England centre forwards have licence to do whatever they like though, hence Jonathon Pearce proclaiming “there’s no doubt for me”. I’ll remember that next time it’s one of our lads. Solskjaer will have been pretty smug having gotten one over on Mourinho, and he was still smelling himself on Friday in his pre-City press conference. “At least we play every year now. Took many years before I played a Manchester derby”. Oh damn! That’s good to be fair, I’m all in favour of that, but he’s going to have that thrown back in his face if they lose at the weekend. Meanwhile, Leicester kept rolling with a routine win over Watford, who are strongly rumoured to be on the verge of appointing former Foxes boss Nigel Pearson. Strange one that. What’s he going to do, scare them out of the relegation zone? Leicester should have had a pen when Vardy was clipped in the box, but not only was he denied the spot kick he was also given a yellow card for his troubles. VAR really should have overturned that one. Maybe the ref was told that he’d got that wrong though as he made it up to Leicester with a dubious pen after the break. Messina’s hand was in the face of Johnny Evans but it was more a case of them jostling than anything else. You can’t give pens for that. Evans made a meal of it, as he tends to do. That’s right, I’m not letting the Shelvey incident go. I’ll never let that go. Fuck Johnny Evans. Vardy converted the pen and Maddison wrapped up the win in stoppage time to give Leicester seven on the spin and keep them within eight points of us at the top. They’ve got Villa and Norwich next, so I’m not expecting that gap to increase any time soon. Mind you, Villa are no pushovers and that’s a Midlands derby game, so you never know. Villa gave Chelsea a good game but came up just short. Kevin Abraham scored against the club where he did so well on loan last year. Predictably he didn’t celebrate, which was fair enough. Villa equalised with a scruffy goal from Trezeguet. Does he score anything other than scruffy? He’s like a less prolific Darren Bent. You know he’s shit, and even when he’s scoring he still manages to prove you right. Mount got the winner with a sweetly struck volley. Chelsea had chances to put the game out of sight but Villa hung around and had some late pressure that almost saw them get an equaliser. Hopefully they can do something against Leicester. Maybe my boy Jac… relax I’m kidding. Norwich went to St Mary’s in good spirits after taking four points from their last two games, but Southampton have had a resurgence of their own and just had too much for them. Actually that’s not really accurate. They were undone by two set-pieces. Ings - who else - headed the first from a free-kick and Bertrand bundled in the second from a corner. Pukki pulled one back with 25 minutes to go but Norwich couldn’t find an equaliser and the Saints leapfrogged Everton and pulled out of the bottom three. Wolves beat West Ham 2-0. Jiminez stabbed in the first and then Cutrone made it safe late on when he rounded off a nice move. West Ham should have been level before that but my boy Snodgrass fluffed his lines. Wolves are absolutely flying now though and are up to 5th. They might stay in the top six because they’re more trustworthy than the likes of Arsenal, United and maybe even Spurs, but time will tell on that. Thursday now. Newcastle followed up their point against City by winning at Bramall Lane. Saint-Maxin finally got a goal and Jonjo bagged another. They’re six points better off than they were this time last year, but don’t expect anyone to point that out as it goes against the whole “Rafa the magician working miracles” narrative. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of managers would have been relegated with that squad and Rafa did a sterling job there, but Steve Bruce is doing even better at the moment. Finally, Brighton’s win at the Emirates was probably seen as a shock, but it shouldn’t be. Having watched them at Anfield I fully expected them to give Arsenal all they could handle, because as I’ve said, Arsenal are massive fucking fannies and Brighton looked like a tight knit unit against us. I’ll say it again, where do those Arsenal players get the balls to act the way they do when they’re such a fucking embarrassment? I bet they lose at Goodison in a few weeks too, the fucking cowards.