Saturday Nov 30:
L 2 Brighton 1 Three points, a huge sigh of relief but bloody hell, that wasn’t much fun. It was fucking freezing and the performance matched it. Ok, that’s not entirely fair as the opening half an hour was good and we should have been out of sight. Matt Ryan pulled off some good saves though and although we did go two up through Big Virg, the handsome towering bastard, we ran out of steam and it looked like the Napoli game had taken a heavy toll.
Still, we weren’t in any trouble until Alisson’s moment of madness, and even then we’d have been fine but for the incompetence / bias (delete as appropriate) of Martin Atkinson. I absolutely can’t get my head around why he isn’t being hammered for what he did. I don’t know if what he did was within the rules, but morally it was dodgy as fuck which is why you almost never see it.
When do you ever see a ref blow his whistle when the keeper is on the post lining up his wall? Virtually never.
So call me paranoid but when I see a ref who has screwed us frequently of late make a call like that, I’m going to think something is up. This twat needs keeping away from our games, but he’s on the VAR for the derby. As I said last week though, it will take a brave man to over-rule any Mike Dean decision, so if we get hosed on Wednesday it will be by the beady eyed Birkenhead official, not Atkinson.
Tell you one thing I noticed today though. Lewis Dunk is a much better player than I thought. I had him down as a Burnley type, sit deep with lots of protection and head everything away type of centre half, but he's not. He's really good. He's the player that people wrongly believe Harry Maguire to be. No wonder Leicester wanted him to replace Maguire, and no wonder Brighton were demanding a similar fee.
Sunday Dec 1:
Started watching that Barca documentary yesterday and finished it today. I was shocked. They're absolute dickheads. It’s no wonder they bottled it at Anfield. Prior to kick off they're all sat there, nobody is talking to eachother, half of them are looking terrified and Coutinho is actually praying. There's complete silence in the dressing room and they can all hear YNWA being played and the crowd singing.
If I'd been in there I'd have banged Livin on a Prayer or 500 Miles on the sound system so fucking loud they couldn't hear the crowd singing and they’d have been so fired up they’d be ready to eat raw steak. As it was, they looked like they were gladiators about to go into the arena to be fed to lions. Which they were, as it turned out. How can a club that big, and so successful, act so amateurishly?
Meanwhile, Paul Scholes says Freddie Ljungberg isn’t the man for Arsenal because… wait for it…. he wasn’t wearing a suit today. I don’t even know where to start, so I won’t.
Monday Dec 2:
Another tweet by LFC about the rainbow laces is accompanied by loads more replies by homophobes. I had a look through and a lot of it is based on religion and loads of the fuckers were tagging Mo in and asking “are you ok with this?”. Have a day off, you fucking weirdos. Fair play to the lad who went through the thread replying to all the bigots with a gif of two fellas necking though. That’s next level trolling. Great work.
As expected, Messi won the Balon d’Or. You know why he won it? Because he plays in a one man team, whereas Virg lost votes to SIX of his other team mates. We had four of the top seven, and the African votes went mainly to Sadio and Mo so that screwed Virg over. Fair play to the Sri Lankan fella who named Trent as his winner. Not a single fuck was given from that guy.
Virg made a joke about how Ronaldo wasn’t really a rival for the award (somehow he finished third though) and ended up in a twitter spat with Piers fucking Morgan, who stuck his oar in and had a go at the big fella. Ronaldo’s sister chimed in too. Jesus. He was joking, but you know what, if he’d just come out said “what the fuck is he doing in the top three?” he’d have been spot on.
“Oh you can’t say that, Ronaldo has done more than you ever will” blah blah blah. That’s true, but what the fuck relevance does his glittering career have on an award based on performances in 2019? None, that’s what, so pipe down, cunts.
You know what we do need to talk about? Mahrez making the top ten. He’s not even in the top ten at City for 2019, let alone the world. You know what else we need to talk about? Trent not making the top ten for u21 players yet he was 19th in the main award. Explain that?
The FA Cup draw sees us playing the Blues at Anfield. Terrible for both teams that. Normally we’d play the kids, but I’m not in favour of that this time. If it was at Goodison then I wouldn’t be too arsed, but we can’t let them win at Anfield so playing our usual cup line up shouldn’t be an option this time. It’s an added complication we didn’t need.
Meanwhile, having won the youth cup last year tonight we fell at the first hurdle, losing away at Spurs. The line up was a bit weird. There were some lads who hardly play, while Hoever was included even though the 23s played tonight as well. There was no Jones, Van Den Berg or Elliott in either game and Brewster didn’t feature for the 23s. No idea what’s going on here really.
Tuesday Dec 3:
Tom Hicks comes out of whatever hole he’s been hiding in and does an in depth interview about his time owning the Reds. I didn’t read it and have intention of ever doing so. There’s nothing he can say that’s of any interest to me now. The only time I want to hear about him is when he dies, which I briefly thought was today when I saw his name trending. Disappointing, but won’t be long, hopefully. His son is part of the Trump administration team, which should come as a surprise to no-one. Family of cunts, associating with cunts.
On the field tonight, City won at Burnley and Trevor Sinclair took to twitter to take a shot at us, even using the term ‘dippers’. To be fair to him, he was almost certainly pissed. There’s also a reasonable chance he was behind the wheel given his track record. He’s a twat and I didn’t need this tonight to know that. I’ve heard him on the radio enough to know he’s thick as fuck and fairly unpleasant.
In fact, he’s the most unlikeable man on Talksport, which is quite the achievement when you take into account Jason Cundy is there too. Fuck Sinclair and fuck his ‘I’m sorry if you were offended’ apology. As for his “City are coming for you” bravado? Yeah, I’m terrified.
Wednesday Dec 4:
L 5 Everton 2 Great that. The quality of the goals was off the charts. Every one seemed better than the last and even the fifth one (which wasn’t as spectacular as the previous four) had something to savour about it as Bobby completely ruined that Holgate tit before teeing up Gini.
The first four goals though. Jesus. I know Everton were suspect defensively, but it’s not like they gave us four presents. Every one of those goals needed a moment of world class play or it wouldn’t have happened. The first is an unreal pass by Sadio. The second was an unreal pass by Trent. The third was an incredible touch and finish by Divock and the fourth is a wonderfully placed first time shot on the run that went right in the corner.
On another day, none of those end up in a goal because you just don’t see things like that every week. It was incredible stuff. Poor Marco Silva must have been wondering what the fuck he did to deserve that, as they just walked into a buzz saw. I actually thought Everton’s performance was better than usual. They looked quite dangerous themselves at times but no-one was going to be able to live with us in this mood.
It’s funny that the two big games we’ve played with this front three has seen us score nine goals. Origi is much better through the middle than he is out wide, and tonight Big Shaq was sensational. An absolute joy to watch, made up to see him back.
How depressing must it be to be a blue right now though? Some of them left at 2-0 while those that stayed had to listen to the Kop taking the piss out of them all night. I love the “Merry Christmas Everton” song, always have. The “he’s only got little arms” is funny, but the highlight of the night (goals apart) was throwing that “we’re gonna have a party when Tottenham win the cup” chant right back in their faces.
That was just brutal. It was embarrassing when they did it and I’m sure there will have been some blues who didn’t like it for this very reason. Things like that can blow up in your faces, and boy did this blow up on them. That was the most savage burn I’ve seen delivered to away fans since we were all taunting the Mancs with “always look on the bright side of life” when we stopped them winning the league. There’s nothing finer than hoisting some cunt with their own petard.
Thursday Dec 5:
Goodnight sweet prince. Silva is gone and in his place will be the dream team of Big Dunk and Franny Jeffers. John Ebbrell is one of the assistants too. May as well go and bust Richard Gough and Davie Weir out of the old folk’s home and get the entire band back together.
See, this is why I had to stop writing piss take articles about them. When their reality became funnier than any gag I could come up with, then what’s the point? Every day it just gets worse for them. I was in the car today and Adrian Durham’s show was dedicated to the mess at Everton and how they fix it. Then this nugget called up and I nearly crashed the car….
“Don’t get David Moyes!”
— talkSPORT (@talkSPORT) December 5, 2019
“Go get Sam Allardyce.”
“These players are walking around and they don’t care about Everton.” #EFC fan tells @talkSPORTDrive he wants Sam Allardyce back as manager.
@Checkatrade pic.twitter.com/Sh6fLvubfr
It was funny enough on the radio but actually seeing the stunned reactions of Durham and Bent when he dropped the Fat Sam Bomb makes it all the more hilarious.
So I heard something else funny today. You know last week when Klopp and Guardiola were at that football writers awards thing? Well City’s press officer asked what the running order for the awards and speeches was. He was told that the league winner goes first then it goes to whoever won any cups.
So in other words, Pep first and Klopp to finish things off. He (the press guy, not Pep) wasn’t having it and insisted that the order was flipped so Pep went last. Jurgen wasn’t arsed either way, so it was switched and Klopp knocked everyone’s socks off.
Guardiola then got up and joked “how do I follow that?” or words to that effect. He actually gave a good speech to be fair to him. Anyway, there was another awards soon after and once again the City press officer wanted to know the running order. “Klopp first, then Pep” he was told. You know what he did? He insisted that Pep went first this time!
I keep telling you, that club (especially the press office) is utterly fucking obsessed with Klopp and the Reds. It’s hilarious, the smalltime bastards.
Friday Dec 6:
Ok, so in the match report yesterday I wrote this, explaining why I feel as though Everton have gone way beyond the threshold where it’s acceptable to mock them.

Today I saw this, which rams home the point….
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
— (@TheFinalGed) December 4, 2019
CANCEL ALL EVERTON VIDEOS FOREVER. THIS IS THE WINNER. pic.twitter.com/krFwp1TEIS
Ok, that banshee deserves whatever shit is thrown her way, but ignore the voice for a second and zoom out a bit. This is a bunch of Evertonians singing “going down, are we fuck, we’re gonna win the cup”. There’s another video of a different group of Blues singing “going down, are we fuck, stay up and win the cup”.
I only wish they’d sang it at Anfield the other night, as it would have been an all timer. I don’t even think the Kop would have been able to respond to it, as what do you even say to that? As a reminder, they play Leicester in the league cup and then have to go to Anfield in the FA Cup. They won’t go down, but there’s more chance of that than there is them winning anything.
Meanwhile, Anfield was set to play host to an England game but the FA have pulled the plug because S*n journalists are banned. Good for LFC that they aren’t willing to back down on this. It doesn’t matter that I’d rather England were nowhere near Anfield, as my feelings on that are irrelevant. There will have been good money to made from this so it’s refreshing to see the club put principle first. Fuck the S*n and fuck the FA.
….and that was the week that was
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