Things That Shit You Up As An Adult

[Mel Wood]

1. Getting out of the car and having to handle my set of keys while passing over a grid. I lose all faith in my ability to hold onto them.

 

2. People with mad eyes.

 

 

and that boggle-eyed toff that dicks about on motorbikes with Obi Wan Kenobi.

 

any others?

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I love that Steve McCurry of that Afghan girl. He actually went back and found her years later and life hadn't been so kind to her.

 

Anyway, not much scares me these days. I fucking hate spiders, but that's about it.

[Mel Wood]

Oh and this creepy fuckstick. Saw him dissecting someone's ballbag last week and it absolutely made me retch before I turned the channel over.

 

 

Thankfully it was a dead fella. Who must be proud. ''After my death I bequeath my body to that German fella, to slice my nads in half on Channel 4''

[Anubis]

2. People with mad eyes.

 

And in the case of Tracie Andrews your fears would be well founded.....

 

 

[Anubis]

I love that Steve McCurry of that Afghan girl. He actually went back and found her years later and life hadn't been so kind to her.

 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

The one, the only, Toothpick fish

http://www.damninteresting.com/the-terrifying-toothpick-fish

 

Candiru Fish - Toothpick Fish – and Parasitize of Human Urethra

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3e/Candiru_Pic1.jpg

[L19red]

in the storm a good few years back when the chimney stack fell through the roof and landed a few feet from my head. That shit me up.

[chrisbonnie]

Death

 

when i actually think about one day i wont be alive, it literally makes me tingle with fear

[Top of the Kop]

The fear you get after having a drunken one night stand..Even if you were careful there is still that little nagging thought in your mind telling you that she might be pregnant..

[Sandman]

The fear you get after having a drunken one night stand..Even if you were careful there is still that little nagging thought in your mind telling you that she might be pregnant..

 

 

I'd probably be more worried about catching something funky.

[odris]

Definitely spiders as mentioned, I used to pick them up no matter what size they were when I was a kid but now i get paranoid when I leave my window open at night.

[Unrighteous]

That keys thing is soooo true. I've accidentally dropped my keys down an elevator shaft before...

 

I was holding my shopping, and the keys dropped out of my hand between the doors, and my keychain pulled the keys right down the gap! Fucking hell...

 

I had to pay to get the 'elevator technician' to come out to just open up the door at the bottom, and pick them up. Fucking scamsters!

[Liam]

Monday mornings fucking terrify me. As this is a bank holiday Tuesday qualifies.

[Closer To God]

Getting diabetes type 1 seven years ago at the age of 25 and at the same time had to quit drugs. Maybe there is a connection. Anyway, I didn't like it.

 

 

 

And spiders, and the day I won't be able to enjoy a cold beer any more.

[Soup]

This one gives me the willys

 

 

Oh and I'm scared of heights this is just so wrong.

 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

The thought that if you smack some cheeky chav twat round his chops you might end up in prison.

[Pidge]

Cerebral aneurysm.

[Liverpool lad]

The fear you get after having a drunken one night stand..Even if you were careful there is still that little nagging thought in your mind telling you that she might be pregnant..

 

And then thinking to yourself, imagine if they are, the whole world would know you have shagged them.

[rubble-rouser]

Early onset alzheimers,

 

Liver disease

 

Oh ... and early onset alzheimers.

[Medazza]

Death

 

when i actually think about one day i wont be alive, it literally makes me tingle with fear

 

yep, scares the shit out of me too. I can say that I am afraid of death.

 

I suppose if I believed in god it would be easier!

[Faustus]

I think with death it's more a fear of how you're going to die, rather than the concept of death itself.

[Bourbon]

Demons.

 

Longish story but for years, I acquired a consecrated, crafted ouija board and from time to time, got it out and experimented in various places, on hol etc for a bit of an out-there one.

 

I mostly had kept it in a bag with some camping gear in the car and since last september onwards, started having disturbed sleep and nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night by a building terror that someone was slowly walking up the side of the bed towards me; it cumulated in me being woken up by a hand lightly scratching my leg and the sense of a weak hand across my throat and jumped up, not a hand on me.

 

That morning, scoured the room and under the bed and found I'd brought the board in and temporarily stasshed it under the bed and forgotten about it...

 

Board was duly binned and I have slept soundly since. Stopped dead. The channel between my side of the bed and the wall is clear now and feels "empty" again.

 

In short, don't; but I assume you all know that anyway, even if you think you "know" what you're doing or are just having a curious dalliance with the wild side.

 

So, demons.

[Faustus]

Demons.

 

Longish story but for years, I acquired a consecrated, crafted ouija board and from time to time, got it out and experimented in various places, on hol etc for a bit of an out-there one.

 

I mostly had kept it in a bag with some camping gear in the car and since last september onwards, started having disturbed sleep and nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night by a building terror that someone was slowly walking up the side of the bed towards me; it cumulated in me being woken up by a hand lightly scratching my leg and the sense of a weak hand across my throat and jumped up, not a hand on me.

 

That morning, scoured the room and under the bed and found I'd brought the board in and temporarily stasshed it under the bed and forgotten about it...

 

Board was duly binned and I have slept soundly since. Stopped dead. The channel between my side of the bed and the wall is clear now and feels "empty" again.

 

In short, don't; but I assume you all know that anyway, even if you think you "know" what you're doing or are just having a curious dalliance with the wild side.

 

So, demons.

 

I remember when I was at school and some then Sixth Formers a couple of years above us got one out and had a go. A lot of mad shit started to happen to them and they told the school about it. The deputy head personally destroyed the board himself and got the school chaplain to bless the room where they did it. Stopped after that.

 

I'm not really a believer in the spirit world, but there's no chance I'd ever have a go at one.

[Boomshakalaka]

Demons.

 

Longish story but for years, I acquired a consecrated, crafted ouija board and from time to time, got it out and experimented in various places, on hol etc for a bit of an out-there one.

 

I mostly had kept it in a bag with some camping gear in the car and since last september onwards, started having disturbed sleep and nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night by a building terror that someone was slowly walking up the side of the bed towards me; it cumulated in me being woken up by a hand lightly scratching my leg and the sense of a weak hand across my throat and jumped up, not a hand on me.

 

That morning, scoured the room and under the bed and found I'd brought the board in and temporarily stasshed it under the bed and forgotten about it...

 

Board was duly binned and I have slept soundly since. Stopped dead. The channel between my side of the bed and the wall is clear now and feels "empty" again.

 

In short, don't; but I assume you all know that anyway, even if you think you "know" what you're doing or are just having a curious dalliance with the wild side.

 

So, demons.

 

I remember when I was at school and some then Sixth Formers a couple of years above us got one out and had a go. A lot of mad shit started to happen to them and they told the school about it. The deputy head personally destroyed the board himself and got the school chaplain to bless the room where they did it. Stopped after that.

 

I'm not really a believer in the spirit world, but there's no chance I'd ever have a go at one.

 

What a load of cock. Sorry but true. One bad dream does not make a demon. And cocks cocking about and things start to happen well that is explained by cock like things happen to cocks. The deputy head also a cock. Only a cock would get a room blessed.

 

Oh whoops I feel something behind me. Is a Genie trying to climb out my ass as there was a small ball of gas? Silly me just being a cock.

 

Fuck the spirit world the only spirits that exist are the ones that are served in measures down the pub and meths and not forgotting my personal favourite white.

[Faustus]

What a load of cock. Sorry but true. One bad dream does not make a demon. And cocks cocking about and things start to happen well that is explained by cock like things happen to cocks. The deputy head also a cock. Only a cock would get a room blessed.

 

Oh whoops I feel something behind me. Is a Genie trying to climb out my ass as there was a small ball of gas? Silly me just being a cock.

 

Fuck the spirit world the only spirits that exist are the ones that are served in measures down the pub and meths and not forgotting my personal favourite white.

 

That's deffo true from my experience at school.