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The world of a woman.

Ezekiel 25:17

By Ezekiel 25:17,
in GF - General Forum

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milky
milky

Girl in work was measuring for curtains the other day. She couldn't find the tape measure, so improvised. She came up with 'around 100 metres ' length window.   Upon query of the world record size w

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The numbers used are the correct measurements but she's not accurately measured any of the furniture, factored in the radiator, floor space or the airing cupboard in the top right. You'll note that ab

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Scottish Steve

I was waiting in the car outside the co-op for my wife. After a bit she comes racing out looking all harassed and tells me she's had her purse stolen. Reckoned there was a dodgy guy in the queue behin

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Champ Grand Master

Champ

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They're not all bad. It was my birthday yesterday and when I told my bird that Champ didn't bump last years thread, let alone start a new one, she took it upon herself to cheer me up by booking us a dirty weekend away. I might even trim my pubes for the occasion.

There seems to be a view that Birthday threads are a bit 'last year', CT, not aided by me losing my chums' birthdays when my tablet got nicked.

 

But, look, you should be thanking me. You might not be looking forward to your dirty weekend otherwise.

 

Hope it was a good un

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stringvest Grand Master

stringvest

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Mr Wiggles?

 

Fucking hell Ted, no wonder she went back to her stiff of an ex, instead of smoking crack in the work toilets with you and licking your balls.

That is shocking. You need a makeover Ted, and I'm not talking about your bum fluff pubis.

Mine is known as El Conquistador. He has a bronze Arab Strap.

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Dr Nowt Grand Master

Dr Nowt

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That is shocking. You need a makeover Ted, and I'm not talking about your bum fluff pubis.

Mine is known as El Conquistador. He has a bronze Arab Strap.

 

Mine's known as 'The Introducer', after something an A&E nurse once called a mega-needle she pierced me with as the guide for an IV line, while a crazed old lady sat watching in her wheelchair, throwing her toothless head back and cackling at my reduced state.  Her actions etched the metaphor in stone.

 

It has subsequently never been possible for me to produce my member for use without saying in the same deadpan, constipated tone she used, "Well now, this is 'The Introducer'.  It won't hurt terribly."

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Dr Nowt Grand Master

Dr Nowt

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There seems to be a view that Birthday threads are a bit 'last year', CT, not aided by me losing my chums' birthdays when my tablet got nicked.

 

But, look, you should be thanking me. You might not be looking forward to your dirty weekend otherwise.

 

Hope it was a good un

 

You missed mine the Sunday before last.  Then again so did I, because I am a miserable bastard.

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stringvest Grand Master

stringvest

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Mine's known as 'The Introducer', after something an A&E nurse once called a mega-needle she pierced me with as the guide for an IV line, while a crazed old lady sat watching in her wheelchair, throwing her toothless head back and cackling at my reduced state.  Her actions etched the metaphor in stone.

 

It has subsequently never been possible for me to produce my member for use without saying in the same deadpan, constipated tone she used, "Well now, this is 'The Introducer'.  It won't hurt terribly."

 

ow ow ow ow

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Champ Grand Master

Champ

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You missed mine the Sunday before last.  Then again so did I, because I am a miserable bastard.

 

You'll be right at home here, then

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit. Happy Birthday for the Sunday before last, Ben

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Acid Mentor

Acid

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Girl on my uni course is in Fiji at the moment, posted a photo of a Tsunami evacuation zone sign telling people how far to go back from the water if a Tsunami is coming in, and in the background you can see a large storm cloud over the water. 

 

Her friend commented 'WOW! Do they have to put up that sign every time there's a storm??'

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General Dryness Grand Master

General Dryness

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Girl on my uni course is in Fiji at the moment, posted a photo of a Tsunami evacuation zone sign telling people how far to go back from the water if a Tsunami is coming in, and in the background you can see a large storm cloud over the water. 

 

Her friend commented 'WOW! Do they have to put up that sign every time there's a storm??'

 

She clearly doesn't know what a tsunami is, which is a common problem down here. At least you would think so the way people head for the beach as soon as they hear a tsunami warning. Thats taking rubbernecking to a level I can't relate to.

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bri Grand Master

bri

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In a chalet at the mo in the alps, it lashed it down the other night and seeing as we're in the loft area it was loud as, bouncing, in the morning I goes to her did you hear that last night. She goes yeah, loud eh...... Is it that loud when it snows.

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