The world of a woman.

[Elite]

Sory never meant rhe neg rico. will even things up.

[lifetime fan]

Watching that 3 advert that they've redone for Christmas with the moonwalking pony.

 

Mum: How did they do that?

Me: They trained it with loads of carrots.

Wife: Don't lie.

Me: O shut up, she'd have believed me.

Mum: I did.

[Rico1304]

Fuge, neg this when you post the pictures from Ibiza.

 

My cousins wife is a Spurs fan, last weekend she drive to WHL for the Spurs City game despite it being at CoMS. She got back home to much piss taking from my cousin and almost exactly as City scored the first.

 

This weekend my she let my cousin (a Utd fan) have the season ticket to watch the Rags game. Only she gave him her fan card instead of season ticket so he couldn't get in. He was driving 3 mates who all had tickets so he had to watch in a pub next door. She said it was an accident. Bollocks.

[VladimirIlyich]

Fuge, neg this when you post the pictures from Ibiza.

 

My cousins wife is a Spurs fan, last weekend she drive to WHL for the Spurs City game despite it being at CoMS. She got back home to much piss taking from my cousin and almost exactly as City scored the first.

 

This weekend my she let my cousin (a Utd fan) have the season ticket to watch the Rags game. Only she gave him her fan card instead of season ticket so he couldn't get in. He was driving 3 mates who all had tickets so he had to watch in a pub next door. She said it was an accident. Bollocks.

That second situation deserves a round of applause.

[Sugar Ape]

My father in law asked me and the mrs if we would go and see War of the worlds with him next November. We said yes and the wife has just asked me about it,

 

Her: What is this War thing about my dad wants us to go and see.

 

Me: It's a musical based on a H.G. Wells book. It's about martians invading the earth. They did a radio adaptation in the 30's in America as a news bulletin and lots of people thought it was real and panicked.

 

Her: Was it though?

 

Me: Was it what?
 

Her: Was it real?

 

Me: Was what real, martians invading earth?

 

Her: Yes.

 

Couldn't even be arsed getting into it, just said no,

[Rico1304]

My father in law asked me and the mrs if we would go and see War of the worlds with him next November. We said yes and the wife has just asked me about it,

 

Her: What is this War thing about my dad wants us to go and see.

 

Me: It's a musical based on a H.G. Wells book. It's about martians invading the earth. They did a radio adaptation in the 30's in America as a news bulletin and lots of people thought it was real and panicked.

 

Her: Was it though?

 

Me: Was it what?

 

Her: Was it real?

 

Me: Was what real, martians invading earth?

 

Her: Yes.

 

Couldn't even be arsed getting into it, just said no,

I think I've confessed to this before but about 10 ago I was driving back from down south on a Sunday listening to the radio. I switched to R4 as I was in a massive traffic jam just south of Bham, on the radio they were talking about an alien landing south of Bham causing chaos on the roads, it was real newsreaders too. So, for about 5 mins I actually thought we'd been invaded by little green men. The jam was that bad people were out of their cars and I very very nearly told them to put the radio on. It was the anniversary of War of the Worlds and they'd dramatised it. What a twat.

[Sugar Ape]

" I can hardly taste any cheese in these crisps. The flavour is crap "

 

She's eating sour cream and onion crisps of course.

[Champ]

" I can hardly taste any cheese in these crisps. The flavour is crap "

She's eating sour cream and onion crisps of course.

She's right about the flavour, though

[Bjornebye]

My father in law asked me and the mrs if we would go and see War of the worlds with him next November. We said yes and the wife has just asked me about it,

 

Her: What is this War thing about my dad wants us to go and see.

 

Me: It's a musical based on a H.G. Wells book. It's about martians invading the earth. They did a radio adaptation in the 30's in America as a news bulletin and lots of people thought it was real and panicked.

 

Her: Was it though?

 

Me: Was it what?

 

Her: Was it real?

 

Me: Was what real, martians invading earth?

 

Her: Yes.

 

Couldn't even be arsed getting into it, just said no,

 

I'm sure i've put this on here before but my ex proclaimed when watching the tom cruise film war of the worlds that it was based on a true story. 

[Remmie]

She's right about the flavour, though

Depends on the brand, surely? Pringles version is packed with flavour.

[Champ]

Depends on the brand, surely? Pringles version is packed with flavour.

Being crap, I meant. I cant stand those tacky, oniony flavours that hang around in your mouth for hours afterwards

[General Dryness]

I cant stand those tacky, oniony flavours that hang around in your mouth for hours afterwards

Mr champ clearly needs to work on his personal hygiene.

[Champ]

Oops. I forgot I was barred from this thread. Carry on

[Trumo]

A friend's missus has got some chronic back pain issues (probably worsened by cold weather) and was advised by someone from her work to try homeopathy as it had helped that person when they were suffering from some problem or other. She was even recommended a homeopath. The guy's missus told him about this, then asked him how can someone who hates gays possibly help her with her back problem. 

[General Dryness]

A friend's missus has got some chronic back pain issues (probably worsened by cold weather) and was advised by someone from her work to try homeopathy as it had helped that person when they were suffering from some problem or other. She was even recommended a homeopath. The guy's missus told him about this, then asked him how can someone who hates gays possibly help her with her back problem. 

 

Exactly, silly.

 

Its a homophobe she wants. Or a sociopath. Or a bit of both.

[Paulie Dangerously]

This happened on Facebook

 

Bird 1: anyone know of an osteopath or chiropractor near ours to help with my back?

Me: I go to (name my practise and osteopath) check them out on Google and their number is there. I've been going for a few months and it's really helped, they're very professional andwere recommended by my doctor

Bird 2: I c a gurl who trained wit monks in Tibet in the arts of massage, u want er number girl????

Bird 1: omg yeah she sounds brilliant!!!! Tibet!!!!

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

This happened on Facebook

 

Bird 1: anyone know of an osteopath or chiropractor near ours to help with my back?

Me: I go to (name my practise and osteopath) check them out on Google and their number is there. I've been going for a few months and it's really helped, they're very professional andwere recommended by my doctor

Bird 2: I c a gurl who trained wit monks in Tibet in the arts of massage, u want er number girl????

Bird 1: omg yeah she sounds brilliant!!!! Tibet!!!!

 

[Unrighteous]

This happened on Facebook

 

Bird 1: anyone know of an osteopath or chiropractor near ours to help with my back?

Me: I go to (name my practise and osteopath) check them out on Google and their number is there. I've been going for a few months and it's really helped, they're very professional andwere recommended by my doctor

Bird 2: I c a gurl who trained wit monks in Tibet in the arts of massage, u want er number girl????

Bird 1: omg yeah she sounds brilliant!!!! Tibet!!!!

 

wow.

[Bobby Hundreds]

My mum is gullible she will believe most things people tell her. This week she was talking about immigration and she said to me serious as you can they reckon in 20 years or so there will be that many people in Britain the country will sink...... Yeah mum maybe if were Lucky then maybe we can float it to a warmer climate.

[Bjornebye]

Getting a curry with my lazy housemate tonight and I just asked what curry house she normally uses. her reply? "The t&j mahal or whatever its called"

 

a fucking paramedic as well. 

[md1892]

Watching the chase :

 

Which Welsh actors diary was recently published?

 

"Anne Frank" , definitely Anne Frank.

 

Jesus wept

[General Dryness]

Getting a curry with my lazy housemate tonight and I just asked what curry house she normally uses. her reply? "The t&j mahal or whatever its called"

 

a fucking paramedic as well. 

 

Fucks sake. If I had a lung hanging out, and the fucker who turned up to save my life didn't know the capital of Iceland, they could fuck off. I'd sooner die like a stray dog in the street.

[Sugar Ape]

Fucks sake. If I had a lung hanging out, and the fucker who turned up to save my life didn't know the capital of Iceland, they could fuck off. I'd sooner die like a stray dog in the street.

 

Haven't you heard about the general knowledge tests you have to take to enter the NHS now?

[General Dryness]

Haven't you heard about the general knowledge tests you have to take to enter the NHS now?

 

No mate, I stupidly assumed that the exams would mostly involve medical related things.

 

If I'd known a big chunk of the questions were sourced from the "Ladybird My First Book of Facts", I'd have had a crack at it myself. Probably be the Chief Surgeon of the world by now.

[FanchesterCity]

Unless you're dying of a heart attack in the Taj Mahal curry house...

 

in which case, there's a chance they might get there.