What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

8 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

That looks absolutely smashing but one of the egg yolks looks a little bit hard; therby rendering the whole thing inedible. 

 

Luvs.

 

Stouffer. X

Repped - standards.

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

Yes, mushrooms tasted ok but definitely look bland. Served on the fried bread.

 

By way of apology, Tone, may I provide you with a picture of the coaster the cunt mug shadow was situated on, based on a great man's achievement in an unmentionable sport? Bonus points for anyone who can name the blurred, beardy bloke at the back of the train.

 

 

 

Stringvest 

[Barrington Womble]

1 hour ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

New Year hangover remedy - fried bread under the abundant mushrooms (cooked 5 minutes to stop them getting mushy). Shame I left the bacon in too long, but otherwise quite nice. Black pudding was crispy on the outside and soft inside. If I hadn't farted around with that then the bacon might not have suffered.

 

Apologies in advance to Tony - as a fellow tomato afficionado - we only had those little salad tomatoes left, so they kind of disintegrated (but they at least had a relationship with a hot pan).

 

Anyway, let the blood-letting commence:

 

That egg looks like an attempted abortion. The black pudding a sausage must be fucking depressed having the share a plate with the rest of it. 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Stringvest 

Close, Stig - it's Stringy's nephew, Brian Blessed.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

1 hour ago, Barrington Womble said:

That egg looks like an attempted abortion. The black pudding a sausage must be fucking depressed having the share a plate with the rest of it. 

Never change, Baz, keep on rockin in the free world.

[Pidge]

5 hours ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

New Year hangover remedy - fried bread under the abundant mushrooms (cooked 5 minutes to stop them getting mushy). Shame I left the bacon in too long, but otherwise quite nice. Black pudding was crispy on the outside and soft inside. If I hadn't farted around with that then the bacon might not have suffered.

 

Apologies in advance to Tony - as a fellow tomato afficionado - we only had those little salad tomatoes left, so they kind of disintegrated (but they at least had a relationship with a hot pan).

 

Anyway, let the blood-letting commence:

 

Looks good, bar the anaemic mushrooms. 

 

Needs some beans, mind.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

3 hours ago, Pidge said:

Looks good, bar the anaemic mushrooms. 

 

Needs some beans, mind.

Tomatoes give you beany tomatoeiness but we may have to disagree; however, without the anaemic mushrooms I ventue aRdj would have spent £15 on that (if he was still in Wandsworth/ London).

[Bjornebye]

6 hours ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

Tomatoes give you beany tomatoeiness but we may have to disagree; however, without the anaemic mushrooms I ventue aRdj would have spent £15 on that (if he was still in Wandsworth/ London).

And an extra 7 quid per anaemic mushroom 

[Pidge]

10 hours ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

Tomatoes give you beany tomatoeiness but we may have to disagree; however, without the anaemic mushrooms I ventue aRdj would have spent £15 on that (if he was still in Wandsworth/ London).

No chance he'd get two sausages for £15.

[Captain Willard]

 Stuck working at home whilst Mrs Willard is out all day so taken to going out  for lunch just to break up the monotony. Today’s treat was another all day breakfast at the local cafe. Inspired no doubt by Chernobyl, they put the beans in a separate metal container to reduce contamination. Good solid pale blue teapot and £7.95. 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

3 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

 Stuck working at home whilst Mrs Willard is out all day so taken to going out  for lunch just to break up the monotony. Today’s treat was another all day breakfast at the local cafe. Inspired no doubt by Chernobyl, they put the beans in a separate metal container to reduce contamination. Good solid pale blue teapot and £7.95. 

That's a good system - eat the breakfast but keep a slice on toast back for if you want beans on toast.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

 Stuck working at home whilst Mrs Willard is out all day so taken to going out  for lunch just to break up the monotony. Today’s treat was another all day breakfast at the local cafe. Inspired no doubt by Chernobyl, they put the beans in a separate metal container to reduce contamination. Good solid pale blue teapot and £7.95. 

That is the most tory, back of the radio times, queen mother, downing street, thatcher shagging, nonce plate I've ever seen in my career 

 

Sausages look superb, eggs look great, toast would be lovely if it wasn't cut into nonce shapes, fuck you for the beans you cunt and that tea-pot is lovely. 

 

You're cheating on your wife with a light eater and all you bastard. 

[Tony Moanero]

9 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

 Stuck working at home whilst Mrs Willard is out all day so taken to going out  for lunch just to break up the monotony. Today’s treat was another all day breakfast at the local cafe. Inspired no doubt by Chernobyl, they put the beans in a separate metal container to reduce contamination. Good solid pale blue teapot and £7.95. 

Did they serve the toast on the little plate? If so, why did you put it on the big plate with the rest of your food? 

[Total Longo]

On 28/12/2021 at 15:54, TheBitch said:

You don’t have a biscuit tin?

 

I don’t know what you are Tony. 
 

*looks at forum*
 

I don’t know what he is. 

Avid Merrion reference. Incredibly niche. Repped. 

[Pidge]

12 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

 Stuck working at home whilst Mrs Willard is out all day so taken to going out  for lunch just to break up the monotony. Today’s treat was another all day breakfast at the local cafe. Inspired no doubt by Chernobyl, they put the beans in a separate metal container to reduce contamination. Good solid pale blue teapot and £7.95. 

Does the teapot hold the extra beans you ordered?

[Total Longo]

On 02/01/2022 at 10:52, Pidge said:

No chance he'd get two sausages for £15.

[Mike D]

26 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

 Stuck working at home whilst Mrs Willard is out all day so taken to going out  for lunch just to break up the monotony. Today’s treat was another all day breakfast at the local cafe. Inspired no doubt by Chernobyl, they put the beans in a separate metal container to reduce contamination. Good solid pale blue teapot and £7.95. 

I’d still be unhappy that the beans in the cup are indirectly touching my plate, but looks nice.

[YorkshireRed]

21 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

 Stuck working at home whilst Mrs Willard is out all day so taken to going out  for lunch just to break up the monotony. Today’s treat was another all day breakfast at the local cafe. Inspired no doubt by Chernobyl, they put the beans in a separate metal container to reduce contamination. Good solid pale blue teapot and £7.95. 

A kindly old lady across the road from us, when I was a kid, used to invite us for tea and serve up jam tarts on a plate like this. 
 

It makes me sad to think that her belongings, once she died, made their way south and ended up being used to house nonsense like this piss take of a breakfast. 
 

I know the Greeks are a little miffed that the Elgin marbles are not where they belong, but that’s nothing compared to my requirement that this plate be returned to Wakefield. 

[Bjornebye]

I bet he drank that cup of beans like this the baldy blue ribbon bastard

 

 

[Captain Willard]

35 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Did they serve the toast on the little plate? If so, why did you put it on the big plate with the rest of your food? 

Artistic composition 

[Captain Willard]

16 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

A kindly old lady across the road from us, when I was a kid, used to invite us for tea and serve up jam tarts on a plate like this. 
 

It makes me sad to think that her belongings, once she died, made their way south and ended up being used to house nonsense like this piss take of a breakfast. 
 

I know the Greeks are a little miffed that the Elgin marbles are not where they belong, but that’s nothing compared to my requirement that this plate be returned to Wakefield. 

It’s a chintzy little cafe run by middle aged Surrey housewives with fresh flowers in vases and shit amateur art on the wall that never gets sold.  You’re not going to get stuff served on bits of slate in a place like this. 

[Captain Willard]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I bet he drank that cup of beans like this the baldy blue ribbon bastard

 

 

I crook my little finger (I actually do this). 

[Strontium]

3 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I bet he drank that cup of beans like this the baldy blue ribbon bastard

 

 

 

I drink mine uncooked straight from the can.

[Trumo]

4 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

 Stuck working at home whilst Mrs Willard is out all day so taken to going out  for lunch just to break up the monotony. Today’s treat was another all day breakfast at the local cafe. Inspired no doubt by Chernobyl, they put the beans in a separate metal container to reduce contamination. Good solid pale blue teapot and £7.95. 

 

Nice of them to use the eggs to thaw out the sausage.

[DalyanPete]

On 13/01/2022 at 15:38, Captain Willard said:

 Stuck working at home whilst Mrs Willard is out all day so taken to going out  for lunch just to break up the monotony. Today’s treat was another all day breakfast at the local cafe. Inspired no doubt by Chernobyl, they put the beans in a separate metal container to reduce contamination. Good solid pale blue teapot and £7.95. 

Was Fiona Bruce there? Ming dynasty crockery.

Sausages look sound and well in on the beans brother.