Oldest Bird I've Boned (But I'm Going To Pretend It Was My Mate).

[sean_dundee]

i was out with my mate at the weekend who was incerdibly fucked up after he took copius amounts of devil dandruff and stella.

he then took it on himself to start chatting to some old birds who were propping up the bar.he was on fire with his bullshit chat,and one of the 2 began to take a keen interest in the bulge in his trousers. this tart was 62 by the way!

i went over to the bandit as i was getting pretty embarrased by the sorry state of affairs developing in front of my eyes,and looked over after few mins and they were all over each other like a fuckin rash.

my mate then came staggering over to me and asked if i had packed any durex.i had so he was in luck!

he then took this old trollop round the back of the pub and vaginally and anally penetrated the old bint before ripping off the jonny and climaxing all over her face!

the next day the daft cunt couldnt even remember doing it and was completed horrified.

i just wondered if anyone else can beat 62!!!

[Flying Pig]

That story should have been released after lunch.

[Lucky Pierre]

My Grandad could tell you a good story on this thread.

[odris]

Sickening, i told me mar not to go to town.

[Flying Pig]

My Grandad could tell you a good story on this thread.

 

Shall we get him to take out a Gold membership or would it be far easier for you to tell us the story?

[JohnnyH]

Does the person have to be alive?

[sean_dundee]

Does the person have to be alive?

 

they can be dead,but preferably alive when intercourse was consumated

[Trumo]

Couldn't work out if you meant ODDEST or OLDEST bird until I read the post. Either way, coffin dodgers are out.

[loadsoftrophies]

16.

[Elite]

Imagine the waft when he pulled her kecks down :no

[melons]

In chicken years?

[kop]

If "your mate" enjoys that kind of escapades then why not? My "record" is about 40 by the way.

[grazywalker]

I was 22 she was 48

[Herp McDerp]

I was 18, she was 39, mum of a friend.

[Elite]

I was 18, she was 30.

[Guest TK-421]

I was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it anymore obvious?

[rondeco]

I was 8 and he was just after saying mass.

[Flying Pig]

How old is Melons?

[sean_dundee]

i can see we have some dirty fuckers in our midsts,but it appears that no-one can come close to 62 "my friend" really did surpass himself!

[Stonekill3r]

iwas 19 shes 52 id go into details but its cost me alot in therapy bills over the years to erase the wrinkled next morning image from my already fragile little mind :wallbutt:

[dirty_sanchez]

I was 18, she was 35, it was awesome (well for me it was anyway).

[mattyq]

I've got a mate who's into grannies in a big way. He reckoned he lost his virginity to a 72 year old when he was only 13.

He's a bullshitter so i didn't believe until i saw him in action recently with a fatty in her 60s. When i say saw him in action i mean on the pull not actually doing the deed just to clarify things.

I've done a 50 year old - a fine advert for saying no to drugs as i was away with the faries at the time

[Juniper]

I have 69s all the time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The position, not the age

[Alan Sex]

Yer ma.

[JRD7]

I was 10 she was 27 and a model. She was well into me, kept offering me millions of pounds not to dump her. I was the best she's ever had. In fact, I think she said she was giving up sex after me, because there was no point after my awesomeness inside her.

 

 

And now I'm all grown up.