The Special One: The Dark Side of Jose Mourinho

[RoboRiise]

Jose Mourinho in 'patronising egotistical shitstain' shocker is what I'm seeing here.  Again.

 

Look at the two players who epitomise his football.  Drogba, the biggest diving twat I have ever seen and Terry, the sub-human racist shitbag offspring of a coke dealer and a shoplifter.

[razor]

I wish I was a journalist.

 

I would continually and consistently refer to him as "The diminutive Portuguese" in every article I wrote.

 

Asked about his view of the penalty, the diminutive Portuguese refused to comment.

 

The diminutive Portuguese's team created few scoring chances.

 

It was another case of grinding out a result for the diminutive Portuguese.

 

The diminutive Portuguese was referred to as "the poison dwarf" by the opposition manager, and "a smarmy, short-arsed c***" by the opposition crowd.

 

 

 

I bet he drives a big car.

 

And is intimidated by women.

 

A small man in every sense of the word.

[skend04]

José is a snide cunt, but at least he knows he is and its out in public for all to see. I'm not sure why people are so offended by it all when the manager of our own club has just as much of a snideish streak but uses journos to do his talking while presenting himself as some kind of highbrow man of family and togetherness.

[billypilgrimnz]

I find the sheer over-the-top hatred he inspires to be hilarious. He's a bloody football manager, not Pol Pot. Life is short - surely the indignant whining on here would be better served targeting something with a small sliver of significance?

[General Dryness]

I find the sheer over-the-top hatred he inspires to be hilarious. He's a bloody football manager, not Pol Pot. Life is short - surely the indignant whining on here would be better served targeting something with a small sliver of significance?

Yep, where better to discuss global issues than a Jose Mourinho thread on a football forum.

 

You want soft toilet paper you go to the hotel, gay boy.

[billypilgrimnz]

Yep, where better to discuss global issues than a Jose Mourinho thread on a football forum.

 

You want soft toilet paper you go to the hotel, gay boy.

 

Well done on missing the point completely.

 

But that's alright, not everyone can be a thinker.

[General Dryness]

The point You

 

But that's alright, not everyone can be a thinker.

No, it's you who has missed the point, because you're not very bright.

 

Easy this, isn't it?

[Tony Moanero]

But that's alright, not everyone can be a thinker.

Makes you come across as a huge one.

[billypilgrimnz]

No, it's you who has missed the point, because you're not very bright.

 

Easy this, isn't it?

Must be, if you're keeping up.

[General Dryness]

Makes you come across as a huge one.

Tony knows.

[razor]

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I know you are but what's yer mum

[Bjornebye]

Yer maa's Jose Mourinho lad

[Dr. J]

We learn more about the journo/club symbiosis than about Mourinho's cuntery. The Guardian has something up about the whole thing but with no comments allowed - they're not going to have 800 denouncing the chavs and Mourinho, are they?

 

They might lost out on all the Cristal, 30 year old single malt and beluga Roman lays on for them via Mourinho.

[Dr Nowt]

I find the sheer over-the-top hatred he inspires to be hilarious. He's a bloody football manager, not Pol Pot. Life is short - surely the indignant whining on here would be better served targeting something with a small sliver of significance?

moofing it up with the best of them.

[billypilgrimnz]

moofing it up with the best of them.

 

Uncalled for.

[Dr Nowt]

Uncalled for.

 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

The vacuum left by Major Tom's absence is being filled by substitutes not fit to lace his contrary boots.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

Jose Mourinho has been thanked by administrators inside the NHS, after he reduced waiting lists to zero by declaring no-one genuinely in need of treatment.

 

The newly qualified medical expert and Chelsea football manager, was keen to bring his gifts to bear across the NHS after flexing his diagnostician muscles during Chelsea’s opening day draw against Swansea.

 

As one Chelsea insider told us, “If you want to know if a player needs treating or not, do not look at the doctors, do not look at them – you look to Jose, only Jose.”

 

Mourinho himself told reporters he was glad to help the NHS with his special skills.

 

He said, “To make a correct diagnosis, you must first understand people who fake injuries, and I spend all day with footballers, so I know fakers.”

 

“53 year-old Joseph Miller of Stoke? Fake. He does not need a new hip, take him off the list.”

 

“42 year-old Sarah Matthews of Basingstoke? Fake. She does not need a bunionectomy, take her off the list.”

 

“I can do this all day. It is like a gift – only the special one can decide when someone should be healed.”

 

Mourinho the doctor

 

Football fan Simon Williams told us, “It does seem like Jose has been blessed with a divine gift.”

 

“So maybe he could use it to stop his players rolling around like they’ve been hit by a sniper?”

[Dr Nowt]

The vacuum left by Major Tom's absence is being filled by substitutes not fit to lace his contrary boots.

 

One of the most pathetic things I've ever read and clearly the desperate to fit in with the crowd dribble of a true husk.

 

Happy to disagree.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

One of the most pathetic things I've ever read and clearly the desperate to fit in with the crowd dribble of a true husk.

 

Happy to disagree.

 

You miss him, admit it, like JP he served a purpose.

 

Too many people getting their knickers in a twist over the light hearted idiocy of football hyperbole now though, and not hating Mourinho is the most out-there of them all.

[G Richards]

I'm glad there are a few snippets in the press giving some balance to this. The medical profession is standing strong, even if most in the football profession continue to enable the diminutive Portuguese.

 

He's obviously a very good and very successful manager. Everyone gets that. But in the interest of balance there should be a bit more pushback. I'm glad one or two are starting to speak out against him a bit more.  

[magicrat]

I'm glad there are a few snippets in the press giving some balance to this. The medical profession is standing strong, even if most in the football profession continue to enable the diminutive Portuguese.

 

He's obviously a very good and very successful manager. Everyone gets that. But in the interest of balance there should be a bit more pushback. I'm glad one or two are starting to speak out against him a bit more.  

They should just publish this thread to give the balance required. A few dozen outspoken Liverpool fans can't possible be wrong, Oh and for the record he's an utter cunt albeit a cunning , calculating cunt.

[moof]

So proud that I'm finally a verb

[moof]

I find the sheer over-the-top hatred he inspires to be hilarious. He's a bloody football manager, not Pol Pot. Life is short - surely the indignant whining on here would be better served targeting something with a small sliver of significance?

Fully agree mate, everyone needs to get a life. Boring bastards.