little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Oh Buoy]

If anyones ma's shop at Lidl, don't be surprised if they come home with a broken minge. 

 

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[Bobby Hundreds]

Went into Primark for the first time in my life with my missus the other day. Women are savages! Put the things you pick up back where you find them you scruffy twats. Second only to Ikea as my idea of hell which to be fair shopping is my idea of hell. Hell for me would be dying and then finding myself following an infinite Ikea path through an infinite store occasionally passing through primark.

[Chairman Meow]

An infinite Ikea path through an infinite store 

 

So just a regular Ikea then?

[Mook]

Does anyone else ever read that free Short List magazine?

 

I usually read it when I'm flying down to London but today I was handed a copy in the street & it reminded me how much I hate the fucking Editor. He does this gay as fuck Editorial at the start of every copy & in the current issue he's bleating on about how hard it was being a teenage boy & how we should all love ourselves because we're all beautiful or some shit.

 

'Dear Editor of Short List,

 

We are not fucking women you metrosexual, hipster, rainbow flag waving fud.

 

Yours disgusted,

 

Edinburgh.'

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Enjoying a lie in when the fucking bands start banging their drums outside your front door at 8:30am.

 

We get it. You're the world's best super-prods. Now fuck off.

[sir roger]

Enjoying a lie in when the fucking bands start banging their drums outside your front door at 8:30am.

 

We get it. You're the world's best super-prods. Now fuck off.

 

24 degrees in Liverpool & Southport on Sunday , so I expect a lot of marchers to find out Pink & Orange don't go.

[Elysian Red]

Enjoying a lie in when the fucking bands start banging their drums outside your front door at 8:30am.

 

We get it. You're the world's best super-prods. Now fuck off.

Haha. I’m on the Upper Ormeau. Just heard the Ballynafeigh band heading off down the road to stand in a field pissed pretending their Christians. Was quiet enough here last night but a lot of helicopters about

[Paulie Dangerously]

I drink a lot of coffee in work so have mouthwash in my drawer in case I have coffee breath going into a meeting or speaking to one of the attractive young women.  Yesterday I was caught out with a last minute one to one and quickly did a mouthwash at my desk, spitting the liquid into one of my travel mugs I have (one for tea, one for coffee) specifically the tea one.  

 

I forgot to wash it out before I left so now the mint has permeated the plastic and my cup of tea tastes like I've just brushed my teeth.  That's going right in the bin. 

[Remmie]

Went into Primark for the first time in my life with my missus the other day. Women are savages! Put the things you pick up back where you find them you scruffy twats. Second only to Ikea as my idea of hell which to be fair shopping is my idea of hell. Hell for me would be dying and then finding myself following an infinite Ikea path through an infinite store occasionally passing through primark.

I feel like a jaded 'Nam veteran when recalling a visit to a Manchester Primani, it was like an overcrowded convention for people with no spacial awareness. A cattle prod is the only thing that would have made that situation remotely bareable.

[General Dryness]

Does anyone else ever read that free Short List magazine?

 

I usually read it when I'm flying down to London but today I was handed a copy in the street & it reminded me how much I hate the fucking Editor. He does this gay as fuck Editorial at the start of every copy & in the current issue he's bleating on about how hard it was being a teenage boy & how we should all love ourselves because we're all beautiful or some shit.

 

'Dear Editor of Short List,

 

We are not fucking women you metrosexual, hipster, rainbow flag waving fud.

 

Yours disgusted,

 

Edinburgh.'

Ps despite what the media and Kristina Aguilera say everyone is not beautiful.

 

The fucking hypocrisy of it. Its all very well her singing that fucking song when she's trying to make ugly cunts feel better about themselves, but if some slobbering minger came shuffling towards her looking for a bit of fanny action the agents of law enforcement would be deployed in the blink of an eye.

[Remmie]

 

 

I drink a lot of coffee in work so have mouthwash in my drawer in case I have coffee breath going into a meeting or speaking to one of the attractive young women. Yesterday I was caught out with a last minute one to one and quickly did a mouthwash at my desk, spitting the liquid into one of my travel mugs I have (one for tea, one for coffee) specifically the tea one.

 

I forgot to wash it out before I left so now the mint has permeated the plastic and my cup of tea tastes like I've just brushed my teeth. That's going right in the bin.

Coffee breath? Well thanks a lot, now I have a new insecurity.

 

Wouldn't mints or gum be easier than mouthwash?

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Haha. I’m on the Upper Ormeau. Just heard the Ballynafeigh band heading off down the road to stand in a field pissed pretending their Christians. Was quiet enough here last night but a lot of helicopters about

I went on a date last night to an Indian that was across the road from a huge bonfire. "Oh shit" I thought. Left the restaurant at 9:30 and there wasn't a single person around it. There were a few pissed 14 year olds wearing fuck all clothes staggering down towards it. Classy.

 

I'm not bigoted. I'm an atheist. I come from a mixed marriage. But being from here I've occasionally found myself immersed in this particular'celebration' and I don't give a fuck what anyone pretends is behind the festivities, it is 99.9% a celebration of their hatred of everyone who isn't them. It's hugely embarrassing for them, or would be if they had any self awareness. Not too many steps off the KKK. Anti Catholic, anti polish, anti foreigner, anti anyone who isn't a white northern Irish protestant bigot. Because they are obviously a superior race. For fuck sake.

 

Give me my lie in back you cunts.

[Strontium]

Does anyone else ever read that free Short List magazine?

 

I usually read it when I'm flying down to London but today I was handed a copy in the street & it reminded me how much I hate the fucking Editor. He does this gay as fuck Editorial at the start of every copy & in the current issue he's bleating on about how hard it was being a teenage boy & how we should all love ourselves because we're all beautiful or some shit.

 

'Dear Editor of Short List,

 

We are not fucking women you metrosexual, hipster, rainbow flag waving fud.

 

Yours disgusted,

 

Edinburgh.'

On the "we're not women" topic, what is it with folk putting the toilet seat down in men's toilets? It's a men's toilet, I don't think your missus is popping in for a slash any time soon.

[Aventus]

On the "we're not women" topic, what is it with folk putting the toilet seat down in men's toilets? It's a men's toilet, I don't think your missus is popping in for a slash any time soon.

I always pick the toilet seat back up after I've had a shit.

 

Just incase the next person that goes straight in after me thinks I'm a smelly arsed bastard, he'll look down and see the seat is up and think, "oh it couldn't have been him, he's obviously just had a piss."

 

Smart as fuck me.

[Greycellgreen]

I feel like a jaded 'Nam veteran when recalling a visit to a Manchester Primani, it was like an overcrowded convention for people with no spacial awareness. A cattle prod is the only thing that would have made that situation remotely bareable.

I got lost in Primark, the up escalator was out of order, I couldn’t find the stairs so had to use the lift. I ended up on the third floor I never knew existed. Fucking wandering about in a complete daze trying to escape, I only went in for a cheap belt which they didn’t have. Fucking twat of a place.

[Trumo]

I went on a date last night to an Indian that was across the road from a huge bonfire. "Oh shit" I thought. Left the restaurant at 9:30 and there wasn't a single person around it. There were a few pissed 14 year olds wearing fuck all clothes staggering down towards it. Classy.

 

I'm not bigoted. I'm an atheist. I come from a mixed marriage. But being from here I've occasionally found myself immersed in this particular'celebration' and I don't give a fuck what anyone pretends is behind the festivities, it is 99.9% a celebration of their hatred of everyone who isn't them. It's hugely embarrassing for them, or would be if they had any self awareness. Not too many steps off the KKK. Anti Catholic, anti polish, anti foreigner, anti anyone who isn't a white northern Irish protestant bigot. Because they are obviously a superior race. For fuck sake.

 

Give me my lie in back you cunts.

 

Order the tandoori, did you?

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Order the tandoori, did you?

Ha! I ordered the chicken jalfrezzi as I'd heard rumours that them'uns weren't lighting the bonnie until after 10.

 

My date was Lithuanian and suggested we go to the bonfire, to watch it. I tried to explain that these people - the ones that regularly burn Irish and polish effigies - might not welcome outsiders. She looked confused. To her, just landed in the country, these big bonfires were just some NI tradition, and she wasn't aware of the context.

[Remmie]

Ha! I ordered the chicken jalfrezzi as I'd heard rumours that them'uns weren't lighting the bonnie until after 10.

 

My date was Lithuanian and suggested we go to the bonfire, to watch it. I tried to explain that these people - the ones that regularly burn Irish and polish effigies - might not welcome outsiders. She looked confused. To her, just landed in the country, these big bonfires were just some NI tradition, and she wasn't aware of the context.

I'm a nosey cunt so give us some updates on this please. Lithuania sure does have some attractive ladies.

[Tony Moanero]

I'm a nosey cunt so give us some updates on this please. Lithuania sure does have some attractive ladies.

 

 

Repped for being nosy.

[Harry Squatter]

When scally parents or siblings refer to the youngest kid in the family as "ourrrrrr babyyyyyy"

 

Someone I know constantly does it even though his youngest is 19. Heard some woman say it yesterday when I took my son to martial arts as her son goes to the younger class on Friday. "I'll bring our baby tomorrow for the under tens class". Fuck off.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I'm a nosey cunt so give us some updates on this please. Lithuania sure does have some attractive ladies.

I'll push any significant updates to the date thread

[cloggypop]

I got lost in Primark, the up escalator was out of order, I couldn’t find the stairs so had to use the lift. I ended up on the third floor I never knew existed. Fucking wandering about in a complete daze trying to escape, I only went in for a cheap belt which they didn’t have. Fucking twat of a place.

.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

When scally parents or siblings refer to the youngest kid in the family as "ourrrrrr babyyyyyy"

Someone I know constantly does it even though his youngest is 19. Heard some woman say it yesterday when I took my son to martial arts as her son goes to the younger class on Friday. "I'll bring our baby tomorrow for the under tens class". Fuck off.

I do that and she's 19. I'm not a scally.

[stringvest]

I used a Toblerone to separate shopping once, and not the small Toblerone either the medium sized ones.

 

 

That's the sort of thinking that used to make this forum great.

[stringvest]

I do that and she's 19. I'm not a scally.

 

 

let others be the judge of that