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Captain Turdseye

Gerard Houllier

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Define what ya mean by sick.

 

Dave, I have a brilliant ad here. A lady in a bikini and it says "Click Here - Turn off the lights" Excelelnt forum this

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Thought this article was pretty funny, with Gerard trolling his players towards the end of his reign. 

 

 

 

Increasingly, Houllier had been trying to ‘motivate’ players by making examples of them in front of the other lads. After another game he started going through the team. “Where’s that player from Leicester City? Emile? Emile Heskey? Where are you? Remember when you used to get the ball, run through the defence and score goals? Where is that player now? Am I missing something? We paid a lot of money for you...”

Then it was Salif Diao: “Do you remember where you came from? Sedan. And do you know the difference between Sedan and Liverpool? I don’t think you do. You don’t appreciate the fact you play for mighty Liverpool now.”

Stephane Henchoz had problems with his Achilles tendon. He was doing all he could to get back on the pitch and had been a great servant for Houllier, especially when Liverpool won five trophies in 2001, but now he was on the receiving end of the manager’s anger.

“How long are you going to be injured, Stephane?” asked Houllier. “You’re taking your time to recover on purpose because we’re not playing well.”

“I’ve just come back from the doctor. I’ve had another injection,” he replied. “He says I’ve got tendinitis but this might help...”

“I know what I’m seeing.”

Then it was my turn. He went back to the start of my Liverpool career and listed every mistake I’d made, month by month.

“November 2002, Middlesbrough. December 2002, Manchester United. March 2003, Tottenham.” He chucked in a couple of other teams and yelled: “You think because you were Man Of The Match when we won the League Cup you can act like a star? You’re making mistakes which cost us points.”

That’s not too bad for the three years,” I snapped back, smiling as I did so.

“You think it’s funny? Let me tell you this. If Chris Kirkland had been fit he’d have played in the League Cup final.”

Then he turned to Danny Murphy: “And don’t think I haven’t been watching you. You train like a grandad. Are you going to retire soon?”

Traore also got stick from Houllier: “Since you got your contract extension you’ve stopped trying in training – you’re lazy.”

He concluded by addressing the whole group and displaying his paranoia: “I know what you’re up to. You’re waiting for me to be sacked. You’re playing badly to get rid of me. You’ll be sorry. The new manager will put most of you in the reserves. You won’t be laughing then.”


https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/jerzy-dudek-reveals-night-gerard-7813408
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"I know what you're up to. You're waiting for me to be sacked. You're playing badly to get rid of me. You'll be sorry. The new manager will put most of you in the reserves. You won't be laughing then."

 

Brilliant.

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"I know what you're up to. You're waiting for me to be sacked. You're playing badly to get rid of me. You'll be sorry. The new manager will put most of you in the reserves. You won't be laughing then."

 

Brilliant.

 

A multi-layered re-imagining of Bob Monkhouse's classic.

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Then he turned to Danny Murphy: “And don’t think I haven’t been watching you. You train like a grandad. Are you going to retire soon?”

 

Haha!

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