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Saturday Oct 19: Solskjaer says he would resign if he thought it was in the best interests of United. Bollocks. Loads of people say stuff like this, but virtually none of them have ever done or ever would. Solskjaer loves United but unless he genuinely believes he's one of the top dozen coaches in the world then he's lying. Does he really think United can't do better than him? Actually he might be right, given the state they're in currently who'd want to go there? Well, anyone wanting to line their pockets, obviously, but if you were, say, Pochettino, why would you take that job? Well Solskjaer eventually gets his P45 they should give Giggseh a call. Reports today have us rivalling Chelsea for the signature of Bournemouth midfielder Lewis Cook. There might be something in this as it's like the James Maddison thing, we've been linked with him regularly over the last few years. Not sure we need another midfielder like, unless he's replacing Milner (and Lallana). I don't want him, the only Bournemouth player I want to see at Anfield next season is Harry Wilson. Meanwhile, David Luiz says Arsenal can challenge for the title THIS season. Silly boy. Watch them lose at Sheffield United now. There were wiins for the 18s and the 23s today. Couple of goals for Brewster and another great showing by Curtis Jones. Sunday Oct 20: Man United 1 L 1 Shite. Absolute fucking shite. I’m happy that we managed to salvage a point and that’s credit to the players and their never say die mentality, but what the fuck was wrong them in that first half? The second wasn’t really much better either, but the first half we just looked like a different team. Actually, we looked like this team always looks at Old Trafford. I genuinely don’t get it. Old Trafford is not a place to be fearful of. United are shit. Loads of teams go there and win now. Because United are shit. They were even shit today. All the talk beforehand about how the might raise they game. They didn’t. They were shit. They approached the game like Sheffield United did, only they didn’t play as well as the Blades. Shelf Utd created twice as many chances but they didn’t take any. Tactically it was virtually the same approach though. We should be able to deal with that. People can analyse it all they want and stroke their chins while talking about how Solskjaer’s masterplan nullified our full backs and stifled the front three. It’s all bollocks. We stifled ourselves. We didn’t move the ball quickly enough and we played in the wrong areas. It’s that simple. We come up against teams who dod this all the time and we usually have no problem with it. As soon as we go to Old Trafford though we forget how to play football. And it’s some of our best and most experienced players who are the biggest culprits. Bobby is always shite here. Salah too, although he was obviously not there today. Hendo did fuck all, Gini disappeared and Mané wasn’t anywhere near his level either. The good news is the fixture is out of the way and we won’t have to go there in the middle of a title run in like last year. The bad news is we have to wait another year to put the record straight. Unless we get them in one of the cups, which I hope we do actually. The sooner we can put this hoodoo to bed the better. Because did I mention that United are fucking shit? Monday Oct 21: Evra was the guest on MNF and although I’ve deliberately not watched any of it as I’m not going to put my blood pressure through that trauma, I have seen what people were saying about it on the forum. So apparently Carra apologised for wearing the t-shirt in support of Suarez. I sort of understand why he’s done that as racism is such a thorny issue that you don’t want to be on the wrong side of, especially when you’re in Carragher’s position (after the spitting thing), but anyone from LFC apologising to Evra is never going to sit well with me. I supported Suarez back then too and I don’t regret any of the thousands of words I wrote on the subject. Evra is a lying little cunt. Of course nobody ever pulls him on that, and much as we’d love to have seen it, there’s no way Carragher could have gone down that road on live TV. Evra and United won that battle and it’s a fight that we’ll never win now. History is written by the victors and United won that big time. Truth is the biggest casualty of war, as they say. Nevertheless, Evra deserved no apology. For anyone who has forgotten what actually happened, let’s recap. Initially he comes off the pitch telling Ferguson that Suarez called him “n***er” ten times. The story then changes to “maybe it was five times”. Eventually, when the truth comes out, we discover that Suarez used the Spanish word “negro” once, in a completely different context to how he was accused. They were having a discussion in Spanish, a language that Evra is fluent in. Yet he starts throwing “N bombs” around even though the word was never used. Whether or not Suarez should have been banned for what he said and the context he said it in is a nuanced issue, and not really the point here. Apologising to Evra when he lied his fucking arse off just doesn’t sit well. The real victim of that incident was Suarez, who was falsely accused and labelled as a racist (most people who didn’t follow it as closely as we did still believe the initial accusation by Evra). The t-shirts were a well intentioned but ultimately bad idea and it wasn’t a good look for the club. “Defending a racist” they said. Fuck off. Bottom line is that Kenny and the players knew Suarez hadn’t said what he was being accused of saying and wanted to support him. Nothing wrong with that in principle, but the t-shirt thing wasn’t good and there were better ways of handling that. That being said, Carra apologising to Evra about it leaves a bad taste in the mouth because it implies that they were supporting a guilty man, when they weren’t. How about one day getting Suarez on MNF and letting him give side of the story? I won’t hold my breath on that. Like I say, history has been written by the victors, and the victors are cunts. Tuesday Oct 22: Finally got round to watching that Man City thing on Amazon. Some observations. It’s shit. Too much focus on ugly looking supporters, washed up musicians with Paul Weller haircuts and boardroom cunts in suits, and not enough behind the scenes dressing room footage. The stuff with Guardiola and the players is great, really interesting. That’s not a very likeable squad though. De Bruyne seems alright (although he’s pretty dull) and surprisingly I found myself warming to Aguero quite a bit. The rest though, not a fucking personality amongst them. No wonder Milner left. Mendy is the only exception really, and he got far more screen time than he deserved purely because unlike the rest of the squad he is at least somewhat interesting. He’s basically just the class clown though. And that little bald kit-man might be the most annoying Manc on the planet, which I realise is a bold fucking statement, especially while Brian Kidd still lives and breathes, the turncoat cunt. He’s on this too by the way, sharing pearls of wisdom such as “there aren’t enough super-perlatives to describe Aguero”. He actually said that. Hate him, the fucking grass. Wednesday Oct 23: Genk 1 L 4 That’s how you’re supposed to deal with these games. We weren’t at our best but we were good enough to win easily. It’s what we haven’t done in away group games since we put seven past Maribor. Our record in these games is inexplicable in the context of our overall results, both domestically and in the knock out stages, so it’s good to finally nail one of these. The most interesting aspect of it was the midfield. Klopp gave LFC Twitter what they’ve been demanding and included both Ox and Naby in midfield. The way it played out showed why some fans have been calling for it and also why Klopp probably will never have this as his favoured selection. Ox scored twice while Naby was involved more than anyone else, both with and without the ball. There was a lot of evidence for the “anti-midfield grafter” element in our fanbase to justify why these two should play more often. Equally though, we were wide open on the break at times and a better side would have taken advantage. Why was that? Because none of Hendo, Gini or Milner were in there covering for the full backs and filling gaps. To me, Ox and Keita (and Lallana) are fighting for the same spot, because one of Hendo/Gini (and to a lesser extent BGJ) will always be in there when it matters. The goals were great though, especially the three in the second half. The one from Ox was beautiful but the Mané goal was the pick for me. That’s what we’re all about, I love those type of goals when the front three combine like that. The only sour note from tonight was that fucking cringeworthy Origi banner. It’s amazing to me that there are still people in this day and age who think it would be even remotely ok to put that on a banner. It’s wrong on so many levels. Even leaving the racial element aside, it’s not even funny. Plus there are kids in the stadium. You don’t expect to take your kids the match and have them subjected to a banner depicting a giant cock. Not unless you’re going to Chelsea (captain, leader legend etc). What I would say though is some of the things that have been said about the banner are over the top. Yes it was ignorant and it was offensive, and it depicted a racial stereotype. It was not intentionally racist though or designed to offend. The lads who made that banner are completely out of touch with what is acceptable and/or thick as pig shit, but I’m fairly certain they meant no harm. Thursday Oct 24: The perpetrators of the Origi banner have been identified and the police are involved. Hmmm, I hope they aren’t TOO involved as this should simply be a case of sitting them down and telling them they got it badly wrong and explaining why. They probably already know that anyway as enough people will have told them I’d expect. There shouldn’t be any legal action taken though, as last time I checked being thick wasn’t a crime. Meanwhile, the Suarez t-shirt thing is still in the news because today Glen Johnson waded into the discussion. He’d always spoken well on this but now even he is apologising. He KNOWS Evra lied and I’m pretty sure he’s said so in the past. He was the only one to point out that the handshake thing was a clear set up too. Now that he’s got a media career to protect he’s choosing his words more carefully though, sadly. "In the club's defence I think they were just trying to support one of their players and obviously a friend of the players. I think we got it wrong. The ban was only a couple of days before so it was almost like they reacted too quick and didn't let the dust settle. They tried to support him too soon I think." Fair enough, I agree with all of that. “I don't think anyone in that dressing room or at the club believed that Luis was racist or was capable of being racist. Of course, he got the ban but I never heard anything so I don't think, I'm obviously not saying Patrice was lying.” Hmmm, sitting on the fence there a bit aren;t we, Glen? "I get on very well with Luis and I find it very, very hard to believe he would have done something like that. You don't get a ban for no reason, of course. In terms of the t-shirt you just hope you're not getting this wrong. As I've said I get on really well with Luis and we're good mates. I would not be friends with a racist. I would be the first to turn my back on him. I think due to the timing I have to apologise to Patrice as well. I think it was all a bit too soon to the actual incident." The little cunt accused your mate of saying “n***er” ten times. You know that Suarez didn’t say it, you know exactly what he did say and you speak Spanish so you know the context of it. So no, Glen, you don’t owe Evra an apology. I understand why he said what he did, and I understand why Carra did too. It’s all about the optics in these situations and causing a storm by accusing Evra of being a liar isn’t going to do either of them any good with their employers. I feel just as strongly about this now as I did back then, even though Suarez has long since left. What that tells me is that is, like I thought at the time, this is more about right and wrong than it is about defending ‘our’ player. There was a serious miscarriage of justice carried out there and it still bothers me to this day. Not because it’s Suarez, not even because it was a Liverpool player, but because it was a stitch up and an innocent man (doesn’t matter that Suarez is a cunt who has pulled all manner of shit before and since, the point is that he was innocent on this occasion) was branded a racist on the say so of a lying twat with previous for it. Friday Oct 25: Klopp was in good form in his presser. Joking about how Fabinho isn’t tired because all he does on international duty is fly there and back. He also spoke about how the other night Fabinho was “the only midfield player” at times, which merely confirms what I was saying about how unlikely it is that we’ll see Ox and Keita together too often. Wouldn’t surprise me if neither started on Sunday, although personally I’d keep Ox in there. In other news today, the court case involving the kit deal is over and Nike have won. Cue everyone going mad about #Mbappe2020. It’s partly tongue in cheek, but it’s also quite a logical leap considering Nike will want him out of PSG and they’d sell a shit tonne of a shirts if he came here. They’d need to find a way to help with the financing of the deal though, but they helped Coutinho get to Barca so I’d say they owe us. Juve are said to be in for him too though. Initially I laughed that off, after all, he’s under contract to a club so that would normally rule them freeloading fucks out of it. Then I read about them pulling some dodgy Man City style shit regarding inflated sponsorship deals, so maybe they would be in for him. Not sure why anyone good would want to play in Italy these days though. Meanwhile, on the field tonight… fucking hell. I’m not sure what’s the bigger story here. Leicester scoring nine away, or Southampton conceding nine at home. I think it’s probably the latter. Leicester are good, we know this, but no matter how good they are they shouldn’t be scoring nine away from home. Southampton are shite. They’re much less than the sum of their parts, as on paper they aren’t bad. I’d sack that manager immediately. You can’t recover from a result like this. He’s finished. He’s not been doing a good job anyway, but conceding nine at home?? It can’t happen. One Southampton fan on social media described their manager as “the worst Austrian that has ever lived”. He’s obviously not, but I get where that fan is coming from. Hitler did many despicable, evil, shameful things but he never conceded nine at home to Brendan Rodgers. Pack your bags Ralph, Big Sam is on his way. …..and that was the week that was

First on Match of the Day this week were Villa and Brighton. Surprising, given that Chelsea, Spurs and City all played on Saturday. Amusing too, because so did Everton, but there’s more chance of a satisfactory outcome to Brexit than there is of the Blues getting the top slot on a Saturday night. They were on third though, because Children in Need were sponsoring the game and the BBC therefore wanted to give it the publicity it deserved. Maybe next time they can get Comic Relief to sponsor them and they might get top billing? I’ll get to the Blues in due course, but Villa and Brighton were deemed more important by MOTD so who am I to argue? Brighton took the lead in contentious circumstances thanks to some bizarre refereeing by David Coote. He ignored a clear foul on the edge of the box but probably immediately realised his mistake as he then punished Hourihane for a perfectly executed challenge a second later. He booked the poor bastard as well. Scandalous. Brighton scored from the free-kick too, jut to rub Villa’s noses it further. That was as good as it got for them though, as Aaron Mooy, one of my former boys before he fell out of favour for reasons I can’t remember, was then sent off for two quick bookings. The first was for needlessly fucking about to prevent Villa taking a free-kick. The second was for a needless foul on Grealish. Kicking Grealish is one sure fire way to get back on my good side though. Villa then thought they’d equalised through Hourihane, only for VAR to…. get this….. OVER-RULE the ref and disallow the goal for a dubious foul on the keeper. It might have been a foul, and if the ref had given it then it was one of those 50-50 calls where you can understand either decision. You know what it defo wasn’t? CLEAR AND OBVIOUS. Yet they overturned it. Fucking shambles, but I guess it’s a lot easier for a senior ref in the office to over-rule a YTS ref like this hapless fuck than it is for the hapless YTS chump (who was on video duty the next day) to over-rule Martin Atkinson at Old Trafford. The decision didn’t cost Villa in the end as Grealish prodded home from close range soon after to draw them level. Brighton did really well and looked as though they’d held on, but with the last kick of the game Matt Targett fired past the outstanding Matt Ryan to break their hearts. How has Targett ended up at Villa? He’s highly rated isn’t he? He’s even been linked with us a couple of times but he’s playing for Villa. That said, they’re probably better than Southampton and he doesn’t have Bertrand blocking his path, so it’s working out well for him. City fielded a centre back pairing of Fernandinho and Rodri at Selhurst Park but still won easily and kept a clean sheet. I said a few weeks ago when Laporte and Stones got injured that there are some games where they could wheel Richard Dunne out of the boozer and stick him at centre half and still not concede, and this is one of them. On paper it looked a tricky game as Palace actually have a surprisingly good record against Guardiola’s City. They’ve had more joy than most, put it that way, but just like their current league position it’s more down to luck than good judgement and City never broke sweat. Jesus opened the scoring with an attempted header that actually hit his shoulder. Jammy bastard. It was obvious from the first whistle that Palace were defending far too deep but they’re a Hodgson side so… *shrugs*. Their centre halves should have been wearing wellies as they were so far back at one point I swear they were almost in the fucking Thames. David Silva volleyed in a fine second a minute later, with Palace’s defence again camped inside their own box. The only surprise was there were no more goals after that. There should have been, as De Bruyne was brought down in the box for what looked like a clear penalty. Anthony Taylor wasn’t interested (no really) and VAR didn’t over-rule him, because, y’know, he’s a senior ref. City weren’t happy and rightly so, but don’t worry lads, Manchester’s finest is in charge of us this weekend so he’ll do his best to make it up to you then I’m sure. Benteke came off the bench with ten minutes left and almost scored with his first touch, but his powerful header was brilliantly turned onto the bar by Ederson. Great save that to be fair. Ederson also denied Zaha as Hodgson belatedly realised that with no centre backs in the opposition side, it might actually be worth, y’know, having a bit of a go. While Norwich and Wolves are taking it to City and actually beating them, Roy was “taking a lot of comfort” from his side “not letting their heads drop against such a fantastic side” and because they “asked one or two questions” of City. Yeah well done, when’s the fucking parade? Palace are exactly who I thought they were. A bottom six team riding their luck and punching miles above their weight. They’ll finish bottom six, you just watch. The shithouses. Palace are definitely a fraud team in a false position and I’m not sure the same isn’t true of West Ham. Here’s the thing, I have felt since before the season started that there would be one or two teams from the pack that could play a little bit above themselves and put pressure on United for 7th spot. West Ham started the season well so I had them down as maybe one of them, along with, say Burnley and Bournemouth. The Hammers have some very good players but they have some proper shit ones too. They were fucking rubbish at Goodison, and that makes me think they’re not really a threat to anything about 10th. All depends on that striker really and if he’s as good as he’s looked so far. The Hammers’ keeper looks like a mafia hitman, which ordinarily would have me rooting for him, but not when he’s gifting Everton three points. Sorry, this cunt needs to be sleeping with the fishes after this. He allowed Bernard to score, which in itself is shameful enough, but it was the way he allowed it that was most unacceptable. Terrible that. Meanwhile, I see the Blues have nicked the old United “Giggs will tear you apart again” song and adapted it for Bernard. Cringe fucking central. One, they’re always nicking songs and it’s just embarrassing. And two, “tear you apart AGAIN”??? When’s this little fraud tore anyone apart? I don’t ever remember him even scoring before this, and even this one was jammy as fuck and would never have gone in had West Ham fielded an actual goalkeeper instead of a fucking bag man from a bank job. West Ham almost equalised in the last minute and if that had gone in there’d have been riots. Rightly so too. Paul Tierney gave West Ham a corner despite their player committing the most obvious foul you’ll ever see, right under his nose. He’s one of the worst refs him, which is no mean feat. It’s like being the greediest Tory or the most nasal sounding United fan. Sigurdsson then went up the other end and lashed one in from 20 yards to make the game safe. Remember when he used to score a dozen of those a season when he played for…. wait, who the fuck did he play for before he went to Everton? *checks wiki* Swansea!! Fucking hell my memory is getting worse by the week. I sat here for a couple of minutes trying to remember that. I knew he was at Spurs and knew that was sandwiched in between spells somewhere else, but my mind was coming up blank. Hate it when that happens, but it’s a regular thing nowadays. After the game there was all sorts of fawning about Andre Gomes. Yawn. He’s a myth - a Great White Pogba. He’ll have a few games where he looks boss and that’s enough for some to think that’s who he is and that’s his true level. It isn’t. If it was, ask yourself this; what the fuck would he be doing at Everton?? Moving on, and Leicester are still rolling but they’ve got VAR to thank for beating Burnley. Wood headed Burnley in front but it was a weird one. Leicester’s two centre backs dropped deeper than everyone and just stood on the edge of the six yard box marking Jay Rodriguez, waiting for a cross. The cross came in, and Wood arrived from deep to out jump everyone. I honestly don’t know what they were doing, it just looked odd. Vardy headed Leicester level when he climbed highest to meet Barnes’ excellent cross from the left. The Burnley fans had been singing “Jamie Vardy, your wife is a grass” so he’ll have enjoyed that one. I don’t reckon she did it, but guilt or innocence doesn’t really factor into when it comes to the ‘bantz’ and Vardy will have to live with this for a while now I expect. He’ll defo get it off Villa fans and they’ll be all smug, acting like they’re the first ones to do it. Unfunny, unoriginal bastards. Wolves too, they’re almost as bad. Tielemans fired the Foxes into the lead but Wood thought he’d equalised at the death. Jon Moss thought so too, only for VAR to over-rule him. It’s absolute bollocks. Never a foul in a gazillion years that. Johnny Evans knows how to sell minimal contact though, just ask Jonjo Shelvey. I know I’ve said it before but I’m going to keep saying it. I hate Brendan’s little fucking notepad and I’m convinced he never writes anything relevant in it. It’s purely for show, to make him look like he’s paying attention. I don’t think I bear him any ill will, yet my immediate, instinctive reaction any time I see him on my screen these days is to mutter “knobhead”. Is that just me? Chelsea had a good week. They beat Ajax away in the Champions League and a few days earlier they’d picked up three points with a home win over Newcastle. It took them a while to finally break down the Geordies packed defence through Alonso, but they were well worth the win as Newcastle offered virtually nothing. They’re ticking over quite nicely so far, but for some reason I feel like a sticky spell is around the corner at any moment. Also on Saturday, Spurs had the perfect opportunity to get back on track as they took on hapless Watford at home. They almost fucked it right up though and needed a VAR blunder to bail them out. Watford were given an early boost when Danny Welcrap went off injured in the second minute and was replaced by Deulefeu. Soon after they took the lead through Doucoure. Not a co-incidence. You know who’s a twat? Danny Rose. Diving little fuck. His lame attempt at winning a penalty was rightly ignored by the ref, but any credit for that was cancelled out when the official failed to award a spot kick to Watford when Deulefeu was clearly fouled by Vertonghen. That is exactly the kind of incident where VAR should come into it’s own. You can understand a ref not being sure if there’s contact but when you see the replay and it’s just a blatant foul, you have to overturn that. Its just shit that as usual an incorrect decision was backed up by the thing that is there to avoid that. Watford were left pissed off with the video ref again when they were convinced Alli handled before scoring late on. I thought it was his shoulder and they got that one right. Watford should be more angry at the complete fuck up by Foster that led to it. Spurs were dreadful though and if Watford had more quality they’d have smashed them. They wasted three glorious counter attacks with poor finishes and Spurs were wide open all day. They were better in midweek against Red Star but their form going into Sunday’s game at Anfield is fucking wretched and we will hopefully take advantage of that. Wolves thought they’d taken the lead against Southampton when Jimenez finished from close range. Lovely build up play that was. It was ruled out for offside though. VAR working well for once there, as it was offside even if it never looked like in real time. Ings then scored for the fourth game in a row to put the Saints ahead. Jimenez levelled from the spot after the ref adjudged that Hoijberg fouled Doherty. Not a pen for me that one. He doesn’t even make a challenge, Doherty just runs into him and dangles out a leg to ensure contact. Looked like a pen in real time but VAR should be correcting that. That was how it finished, and the point is better for Southampton than Wolves. Neither Bournemouth or Norwich had kept a clean sheet all season so sod’s law said this would be goalless and it was. Bournemouth had the better chances, as you’d expect, but neither side deserved to win. Good point for Norwich, and one they really needed. Finally, Monday night saw Arsenal go the full Arsenal and lose meekly at Sheffield United. Was anyone surprised? I probably have a higher opinion of Arsenal than most and still think they have a decent chance at finishing fourth, but they’re always going to have half a dozen of these games every season and this wasn’t the least bit shocking. They’re just soft as shite and a side like Sheffield United will have well fancied their chances in this. Monday night, live TV audience, an ‘up and at em’ opponent that works for each other and plays to a well organised system…. it had Arsenal defeat written all over it. They lost to a set-piece too, which was even more stereotypical Arsenal. Games like this are why Arsenal aren’t relevant anymore but they win enough home games against shite to still be a contender for the top four. The heat is starting to build on Emery and there were rumblings of discontent in their Europa League game until Pepe came off the bench and turned it around with a couple of free-kicks. It feels as though Emery is a couple more losses away from getting the Wenger treatment though. Stay tuned to Arsenal Fan TV for more fun and games.