Have a rant thread

[Liverpool lad]

Darts is a day out for cunts

[Bjornebye]

Darts is a day out for cunts

Says the fella who went to see strictly come dancing!!!!

[Total Longo]

Says the fella who went to see strictly come dancing!!!!

 

He's right though.

[lifetime fan]

Apple.

 

I'm a bit of a fanboy but my fucking god they've pissed me off today. My phone (5s) has been dying whenever the battery gets below 60%, I speak with apple support explain the problem and tell them the battery is fucked.

 

But no, some little twat in a nice blue t-shirt knows it's not the battery and it's a software problem. I just need to reinstall the phone as if it's brand new. I tell him that'll make fuck all difference but he insists so i do as he says.

 

A week later and things are no better. In fact they're worse. So I go in the store this morning at 9:30 thinking it'll be nice and quiet. But they don't have anyone free and I have to come back at 11 o'clock for a 'walk in appointment'.

 

So I come back at 11 and wait 80 minutes, I then have some cunt in a nice blue t-shirt tell me I have to reset the phone as if it was new, ignore me when I told him I already had and start serving another customer.

 

Just as the reinstall is almost complete the battery crashed again at 71%. I keep trying to make eye contact with the bloke but he's trying to serve another 3 people at the same time but he doesn't want to acknowledge me.

 

He finally makes eye contact with me and I tell him in no uncertain terms the battery is fucked and it needs replacing. So I end up having to sit at a different 'genius bar' and wait for another cunt in a nice blue t-shirt to agree the battery is fucked.

 

But he then informs me the phone is 12 months and 8 days old and is no longer under guarantee so a replacement will be £199.

 

8 fucking days and nearly 2 hours later and the cunt wants to charge me 200 fucking notes. We have a 'debate' the manager comes over and asks me to lower my voice.

 

I can't get a new phone without paying the £199 so agree and tell him to fucking hurry up. 20 minutes later I've a new phone but have lost all numbers, photos, emails and messages from Carly and iCloud won't back up.

 

No warning nothing.

 

I had to walk before I was arrested the useless cunts.

[Bjornebye]

Cunts mate thats really wound me up reading that.

[cochyn]

VladimirIlyich, on 17 Oct 2014 - 5:00 PM, said:

 

I was under the impression,probably wrong but,if an area has a mobile speed camera,ie a police van every now and again it has to indicate it with a sign featuring a black speed camera on a white background and a fixed camera is indicated by a yellow sign with a camera on it. I maybe wrong of course.

Going back to roundabouts,i was taught that you only indicate for your exit,just after you've passed the previous one. Only exception is if turning off at the first exit when you'd indicate as just before you enter it.

I got zapped by a mobile camera a while back - doing traffic speeds (90mph) with the fucking moving traffic. There were no signs and the traffic was so heavy, you couldn't see the camera van. So I looked into it: There SHOULD be signs, but it's just a 'recommendation'. So, there's fuck all you can do about it if there isn't any. Same for yellow reflective paint on the back of a fixed camera. The only time you can successfully challenge is if a fixed camera is obscured.

 

The fuckers.

[Liverpool lad]

I said cunts but I meant wools

[General Dryness]

Play has been suspendered.

 

15 - Lovejuice

 

Game Set and Snatch.

[Section_31]

Bob Geldoff, releasing a new version of Bandaid in aid of the Ebola crisis, with guests including the likes of One Direction no less.

 

Fucking tedious cunt. Heard him on the radio again today bemoaning how people don't do this and that, as he always fucking does on comic relief, yet the tedious twat has built his career on this shit - the talentless fuckwit.

 

Said it before, but the likes of him have got no business lecturing people on Africa. The 'issue' of Africa is about the fact some people on earth have too little because some people have too much, I refuse to be lectured to about that fact by someone who's got multiple houses and cars, and who couldn't even steer his to the manor born 'journalist and broadcaster' kid with the IQ of a punnet of cockles away from smack or whatever the fuck it was. Moral authority = 0, Gel-doff, Fuck-off!

 

[VladimirIlyich]

I got zapped by a mobile camera a while back - doing traffic speeds (90mph) with the fucking moving traffic. There were no signs and the traffic was so heavy, you couldn't see the camera van. So I looked into it: There SHOULD be signs, but it's just a 'recommendation'. So, there's fuck all you can do about it if there isn't any. Same for yellow reflective paint on the back of a fixed camera. The only time you can successfully challenge is if a fixed camera is obscured.

 

The fuckers.

I was wrong then.

[Captain Turdseye]

Vodafone have dropped a £500 bill on me from a contract cancellation 3 years ago. I cancelled because they were sending me ridiculously high bills for calls I wasn't making. I'd even stopped using the phone yet the bills were getting higher. Fucking cunts. Now apparently I have to pay if I want to get itemised bills and copies of the phone calls I had with them at the time. How the fuck is it legal for them to sit on it for 3 years and then pass it on to a shower of debt collection twats?

[Section_31]

Paid my bastard 100 speeding fine last night, the cunts make you send your license off and they send it back to you 2nd class post and take no responsibility for its loss. This country fucks you in the arse and doesn't even have the decency to give you a fucking reach around. Someone clone Robin Hood and get him back on  this shit, seriously. Fucking Grade A cunts. Worse than the Gestapo. Fucking lives of others fucking cunts. 

[Section_31]

cunts.

[Bobby Hundreds]

I really need to stop looking at the mainstream media and their comments sections especially from right wing rags like the daily mail. I've lost all faith in humanity and the decency of the british people.

[RJ Fan club]

People who like Christmas adverts. Someone actually said today that they love the Coke, holidays are coming advert, it's their favourite bit of Christmas and wait for it above all the other adverts. That it's their favourite advert and makes them feel Christmassy! Who ranks their fucking Christmas or otherwise adverts?

 

What? You like bring sold shit you don't need? You like actually being manipulated to the point that some corporate fucking jingle played over CGI of truck driving through the snow surrounded by Xmas lights and the world most thrust down your throat logo on it?

 

You like being manipulated by one of the worlds most aggressive marketing forces into buying cheap sugar substituted corn syrup flavoured diabetes in can? They can't fucking make it any cheaper or sell it anymore expensive! Or they fucking would. Of course the true expense doesn't factor in the corporate tax dodging, the cost to the health of those that drink it. But fuck me there is a truck with lights driven by jolly old St Nic, so fuck me that's sound then.

 

You actually like that advert most about Christmas?

 

Now hang on I'm no religious nut, let's face it religion is bullshit, but there are positives I can get from the Christmas period. You forsake the most positive things mankind can muster during the holiday period? The charity work people do, the spirit of giving, forgiveness, of bring people together, extending out to those less fortunate or just perhaps the joy on a child's face when the moment of expectation comes to reality?

 

No you fucking prefer being sold a can of sugary shit? You fucking cunt. Get out of my sight.

[RedKnight]

I like the Coke adverts because I used to a love a frosty Coke on a cold evening and multicoloured lights are ace. I'm a sucker, the John Lewis ad almost got me the other day. I was ashamed at that.

[Carvalho Diablo]

What the fuck has Mylene Klass done to herself ?

 

Used to be a bonny lass but now she's way too skinny imo, and every time I see the bloody Tesco Christmas advert with her in I want to kick my fucking telly through.

[Dr Nowt]

What the fuck has Mylene Klass done to herself ?

 

Used to be a bonny lass but now she's way too skinny imo, and every time I see the bloody Tesco Christmas advert with her in I want to kick my fucking telly through.

 

I hear you man.  They're like deflated beachballs, aren't they?

[Harry Squatter]

She got Aids off Mark Fowler

[Teasmaid]

Bob Geldoff, releasing a new version of Bandaid in aid of the Ebola crisis, with guests including the likes of One Direction no less.

 

How many times are they going to reinvent that frigging song? Seeing as it's for ebola, I hope they sing 'Bleed the World'.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Vodafone have dropped a £500 bill on me from a contract cancellation 3 years ago. I cancelled because they were sending me ridiculously high bills for calls I wasn't making. I'd even stopped using the phone yet the bills were getting higher. Fucking cunts. Now apparently I have to pay if I want to get itemised bills and copies of the phone calls I had with them at the time. How the fuck is it legal for them to sit on it for 3 years and then pass it on to a shower of debt collection twats?

Request a 'subject access request under the data protection act' from them. It'll cost you a tenner but will have all the information they hold on you including any notes on your file and transcribed phone calls. They have to produce this on 40 days.

 

Most of the time producing this, which they legally have to, is more costly than pursuing then what they're chasing and they'll drop it.

[Remmie]

People who like Christmas adverts. Someone actually said today that they love the Coke, holidays are coming advert, it's their favourite bit of Christmas and wait for it above all the other adverts. That it's their favourite advert and makes them feel Christmassy! Who ranks their fucking Christmas or otherwise adverts?

 

What? You like bring sold shit you don't need? You like actually being manipulated to the point that some corporate fucking jingle played over CGI of truck driving through the snow surrounded by Xmas lights and the world most thrust down your throat logo on it?

 

You like being manipulated by one of the worlds most aggressive marketing forces into buying cheap sugar substituted corn syrup flavoured diabetes in can? They can't fucking make it any cheaper or sell it anymore expensive! Or they fucking would. Of course the true expense doesn't factor in the corporate tax dodging, the cost to the health of those that drink it. But fuck me there is a truck with lights driven by jolly old St Nic, so fuck me that's sound then.

 

You actually like that advert most about Christmas?

 

Now hang on I'm no religious nut, let's face it religion is bullshit, but there are positives I can get from the Christmas period. You forsake the most positive things mankind can muster during the holiday period? The charity work people do, the spirit of giving, forgiveness, of bring people together, extending out to those less fortunate or just perhaps the joy on a child's face when the moment of expectation comes to reality?

 

No you fucking prefer being sold a can of sugary shit? You fucking cunt. Get out of my sight.

Applauds

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

People who like Christmas adverts. Someone actually said today that they love the Coke, holidays are coming advert, it's their favourite bit of Christmas and wait for it above all the other adverts. That it's their favourite advert and makes them feel Christmassy! Who ranks their fucking Christmas or otherwise adverts?

 

What? You like bring sold shit you don't need? You like actually being manipulated to the point that some corporate fucking jingle played over CGI of truck driving through the snow surrounded by Xmas lights and the world most thrust down your throat logo on it?

 

You like being manipulated by one of the worlds most aggressive marketing forces into buying cheap sugar substituted corn syrup flavoured diabetes in can? They can't fucking make it any cheaper or sell it anymore expensive! Or they fucking would. Of course the true expense doesn't factor in the corporate tax dodging, the cost to the health of those that drink it. But fuck me there is a truck with lights driven by jolly old St Nic, so fuck me that's sound then.

 

You actually like that advert most about Christmas?

 

Now hang on I'm no religious nut, let's face it religion is bullshit, but there are positives I can get from the Christmas period. You forsake the most positive things mankind can muster during the holiday period? The charity work people do, the spirit of giving, forgiveness, of bring people together, extending out to those less fortunate or just perhaps the joy on a child's face when the moment of expectation comes to reality?

 

No you fucking prefer being sold a can of sugary shit? You fucking cunt. Get out of my sight.

 

Hahahahaha

[Furmedge]

My future brother in law and his nerd mates. Despite me and the missus living 300 miles away from her sister and fella, and having never met his mates, I've been asked by him to arrange his stag do abroad. I've recently started a new job which is seeing me putting in 50+ hours a week whilst I brown nose before being sussed out as the half arsed worker I really am (currently on work bog writing this), and both my kids have had gastroenteritis with the 6 month old hitting her second week of pissing out of her arse and up her back, yet I've still managed to put together a list of destinations, flights, hotels and costings over different weekends over different months in 2015, plus from two different airports as they can go from Exeter or Bristol and email all the invitees asking for thoughts. One fucking reply saying 'ill think about it' from some twat who dresses up as some kind of fantasy Jedi on weekends with his mates (virgin obvs), and not even an acknowledgement from the person who asked me to arrange it.

 

I dont even want to go but the wife is telling me not to be a gobshite about it, but a weekend away with lads who play dungeons and dragons, have no clue about life and probably have all kinds of allergies to women does not fill me with hope of a good stag party. I wish they'd fucking split up so I haven't got to carry on this charade.

[Major Tom]

I'm a nerd.

 

If you need any tips, just yell.