Stupid things people did at school

[Spy Bee]

Me and my mate had a fight spraying beach other with hydrochloric acid. In fairness we thought we'd got the placebo.

 

We amazingly escaped unharmed, although our clothes were a bit fucked!

[Jairzinho]

Remember those long thin lights that were fixed to the ceiling by two chains?

 

I walked into a French lesson and eyed up were I wanted to sit, somewhere near the back of the class, lobbed my bag about 10 metres from the doorway towards said seat and took the light clean off the ceiling. Landed on a girl's head about two rows in front. Thankfully the casing for the light was plastic not glass.

 

Apologised to the girl, then didn't even bother waiting for the inevitable red, grabbed my bag, and walked to Timeout (same as what DP was for Stig).

[Boss]

Two lads in my after school music class decided it'd be a good idea to have a 'who can hold your breath longest' contest to impress this fit girl. So they both started....1,2,3 go.....the fat guy won the first one, the other guy the second, then it went to a best of three. I was just quietly playing the guitar in the background watching this unfold, when on the 3rd attempt the fat guy ends up turning blue and blacks out, smashing his head full force on a piano on the way down. No teachers were there so both of them start panicking and put him in the most pathetic recovery position you've ever seen. He ended up waking up with no recollection of the last few hours, while i'm just quietly laughing to myself, still strumming the guitar.

[General Dryness]

The boss, yesterday.

 

[Dr Nowt]

Two lads in my after school music class decided it'd be a good idea to have a 'who can hold your breath longest' contest to impress this fit girl. So they both started....1,2,3 go.....the fat guy won the first one, the other guy the second, then it went to a best of three. I was just quietly playing the guitar in the background watching this unfold, when on the 3rd attempt the fat guy ends up turning blue and blacks out, smashing his head full force on a piano on the way down. No teachers were there so both of them start panicking and put him in the most pathetic recovery position you've ever seen. He ended up waking up with no recollection of the last few hours, while i'm just quietly laughing to myself, still strumming the guitar.

 

That story could ony be bettered if "the guitar" was your nickname for little boss.

[GR10 LFC]

Got a phone call last year from son's deputy head. They were suspending him and could I come and collect him. I asked what for, I was told he had took a picture on his phone up his teachers skirt. Was gobsmacked as he's such a quiet kid. While driving up the school thinking it over, I was just hoping it was the fit RE teacher we'd met at parents evening not so long ago. Driving home, he tells me it wasn't the RE teacher - was gutted!

[General Dryness]

Well that was a stupid thing to do.

 

Getting caught, I mean. Obviously. Did he get to keep the muff shot or did they make him delete it?

[GR10 LFC]

I never got to see the evidence, not sure I wanted to, to be honest after he pointed out which teacher it was. He was dared to do it. Interestingly, when I've been back to further teacher meetings, she wears trousers now!

 

School took it very seriously. He was lucky not to get expelled. We had to attend a full board of governors meeting for a decision to be made.

[Stouffer]

It should be taken seriously.

[Jairzinho]

It should be taken seriously.

 

Quite right. Decent camera hopefully.

[General Dryness]

I hope his photography teacher had a good chat with him afterwards.

[Boss]

Got a phone call last year from son's deputy head. They were suspending him and could I come and collect him. I asked what for, I was told he had took a picture on his phone up his teachers skirt. Was gobsmacked as he's such a quiet kid. While driving up the school thinking it over, I was just hoping it was the fit RE teacher we'd met at parents evening not so long ago. Driving home, he tells me it wasn't the RE teacher - was gutted!

 

 

Alan posted this a while back, this is how a master goes about his craft.

[Dr Nowt]

A somewhat special lad to say the least rode a horse and cart through the playground and up outside the block housing our classroom during a normal school day.

 

He was quite a character, in later years he'd hang in the shadows of the local nightclub and when a lass walked past slide out to say "Do you want the length, wench?" This was singularly unsuccessful by all accounts.

 

His crowning glory is one I have only heard second hand, but people from the estate the school was on would get a minibus to watch his numerous court appearances, as he was predictably unpredictable.

 

A particularly special effort was being sent down for x amount of time before crying out "Fuck the system, mush." The magistrates weighed up this brave renegade's timeless battle against the man, his Steptoe and Son-esque rage against the machine, and simply added some more months on for contempt of court. Lols all round.

[stevebaby]

Got a phone call last year from son's deputy head. They were suspending him and could I come and collect him. I asked what for, I was told he had took a picture on his phone up his teachers skirt. Was gobsmacked as he's such a quiet kid. While driving up the school thinking it over, I was just hoping it was the fit RE teacher we'd met at parents evening not so long ago. Driving home, he tells me it wasn't the RE teacher - was gutted!

You have raised a son to be proud of. How did you keep a straight face at the governors meeting?

[VladimirIlyich]

I never got to see the evidence, not sure I wanted to, to be honest after he pointed out which teacher it was. He was dared to do it. Interestingly, when I've been back to further teacher meetings, she wears trousers now!

 

School took it very seriously. He was lucky not to get expelled. We had to attend a full board of governors meeting for a decision to be made.

Pics or GTFO.

[Bjornebye]

A somewhat special lad to say the least rode a horse and cart through the playground and up outside the block housing our classroom during a normal school day.

 

He was quite a character, in later years he'd hang in the shadows of the local nightclub and when a lass walked past slide out to say "Do you want the length, wench?" This was singularly unsuccessful by all accounts.

 

His crowning glory is one I have only heard second hand, but people from the estate the school was on would get a minibus to watch his numerous court appearances, as he was predictably unpredictable.

 

A particularly special effort was being sent down for x amount of time before crying out "Fuck the system, mush." The magistrates weighed up this brave renegade's timeless battle against the man, his Steptoe and Son-esque rage against the machine, and simply added some more months on for contempt of court. Lols all round.

 

Fucking inexplicable. 

 

Negged you cunt 

[Dr Nowt]

Fucking inexplicable.

 

Negged you cunt

It was ironical.

 

You angry, angry man. Andy's right about you.

[Dr Nowt]

Malarkey's post in the fight thread just reminded me of something hideous. (Made sure I posted it here in case Stig was sore over someone using his hole punch.)

 

Not at school itself, but a Friday night out with mates from there while we were about 14, a lad (unwittingly) snogged a bird who'd only just finished sucking another one off to completion.

 

At that age the simplistic nickname 'Spunky' followed him for even longer than he must have taken to stop thinking he could still taste it.

[Bjornebye]

I dont have a hole punch you humungous bum sniffer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some cunt pinched it

[VladimirIlyich]

Malarkey's post in the fight thread just reminded me of something hideous. (Made sure I posted it here in case Stig was sore over someone using his hole punch.)

 

Not at school itself, but a Friday night out with mates from there while we were about 14, a lad (unwittingly) snogged a bird who'd only just finished sucking another one off to completion.

 

At that age the simplistic nickname 'Spunky' followed him for even longer than he must have taken to stop thinking he could still taste it.

Classy bird then?

[Dr Nowt]

Classy bird then?

Most def.

[TheBitch]

Malarkey's post in the fight thread just reminded me of something hideous. (Made sure I posted it here in case Stig was sore over someone using his hole punch.)

Not at school itself, but a Friday night out with mates from there while we were about 14, a lad (unwittingly) snogged a bird who'd only just finished sucking another one off to completion.

At that age the simplistic nickname 'Spunky' followed him for even longer than he must have taken to stop thinking he could still taste it.

We've got a mate called spunky too.

 

We made up a story that he liked kissing his bird with his spunk in her mouth. The story was completely fabricated one drunken afternoon in the pub. Poor spunky just lived with it.

[Stu Monty]

We've got a mate called spunky too.

 

We made up a story that he liked kissing his bird with his spunk in her mouth. The story was completely fabricated one drunken afternoon in the pub. Poor spunky just lived with it.

 

I have been told a verified story about a bird getting a seeing to from about half a dozen blokes at a railway access. One of the blokes grabbed her, now spunky, tits and started shouting about "Which dirty bastard did this!" and another bloke (starts physically retching whilst typing) went down on her immediately after some bloke had just jizzed up her - to general disgust from everyone.

 

Different world, the railway, some absolutely terrible sex cases.

[Dr Nowt]

Fucking hell Monty, I need a shower now. With bleach.

[Dr Nowt]

This all does remind me however, it's a mate's 40th tomorrow night, one I have long called "The sex pest".

 

He had the spunky mouth thing done to him many moons ago when we were out one night at a private party. I haven't remembered that for ages, so this has prompted me just in time.

 

I got years and years out of that, we were well in our twenties when it happened.