True friends

[Captain Turdseye]

My best mate and his inability to manage money is becoming a right pain in my arse. 
 

Let me prefix this with - he’s my best mate and I’ve never been arsed about lending him money as and when, and even when I haven’t had it I’ve been happy to dip into my overdraft and facilitate a loan between him and my Lloyds bank account. 
 

He split up with his bird, the mother of his kids, a few years ago. He had a decent job at the time and ended up back at his ma’s for a bit. You’d think someone could build up a bit of a nest egg in those circumstances but this lad isn’t like that. His old relationship was pretty toxic by the end. He was drinking loads, etc, the house had fallen into a horrible state. On and on it goes, I’m surprised they lasted as long as they did. As soon as he got a new bird, his ex stopped him seeing the kids. Proper cunt’s trick. 
 

When him and his new girl moved in together I let him sort out a telly, washing machine and fridge through my catalogue credit. I was made up to see him get back on his feet. That was the first time I’ve ever had to chase him for anything though and he was ultimately late paying the stuff off. Soon after that, his woman ended up going back to Poland and he had no intention of moving away from his kids so he was left with a three bedroom house that he was needing to finance himself as well as paying maintenance/child support. 
 

She went back to Poland on the Monday, I said I’d go up to Runcorn on the Friday and we’d just do man stuff. Play snooker, get pissed, meet old mates for a drink, whatever. 
 

I got to his on the Friday and already his ex had her claws back into him and you could tell by the kip of his house that she hadn’t changed one bit. Me and him still went out one night but it wasn’t exactly the lads weekend I had planned for him. 
 

Since then he’s lost his house, moved back in with her, very recently lost his job and borrowed money off me multiple times that I’ve had stress getting back off him. Even while he was still grafting, trying to get the money back off him was becoming painful. 
 

He still owed me £75 in the summer holidays when I got a call off him. He’d had some issues with his bank card or some shit. He needed £200 just for a couple of days to take his family on a day out. I’m never not gonna say yeah to that. It was a legit day out, I’ve seen all the pictures but I told him it could only be for a couple of days because I needed money for my own holiday. 
 

Anyway, none of the £275 was quick coming back. It took me until mid-December to get just £200 back off him. He’s done my head in with it, specifically because I didn’t need persuading at all once I knew it was for his kids, yet I’m having to chase him round for it back and every time we were speaking it was always part of the conversation. 
 

I wasn’t gonna cut off 30 years of friendship over such a small amount of money but nevertheless he’s taken the absolute piss out of me there and we both know it.

 

He’s just rang me up now. Needs £180 to pay off some people by tomorrow. I said just turn the lights off, hide upstairs or something but then coaxed it out of him that it was debt owed from sniffing gear. He wasn’t even doing the stuff when he was with his Polish missus. I love the bloke but I’m done playing this game with him. I don’t have hundreds of pounds lying around waiting to bail him out. 
 

I’m annoyed he even asked. He still owes me money as it is. 
 

I’m more than annoyed actually. I’m fuming. Somehow I have to jump in to save him from getting his face smashed in? Sorry. No. 

[Elite]

20 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

My best mate and his inability to manage money is becoming a right pain in my arse. 
 

Let me prefix this with - he’s my best mate and I’ve never been arsed about lending him money as and when, and even when I haven’t had it I’ve been happy to dip into my overdraft and facilitate a loan between him and my Lloyds bank account. 
 

He split up with his bird, the mother of his kids, a few years ago. He had a decent job at the time and ended up back at his ma’s for a bit. You’d think someone could build up a bit of a nest egg in those circumstances but this lad isn’t like that. His old relationship was pretty toxic by the end. He was drinking loads, etc, the house had fallen into a horrible state. On and on it goes, I’m surprised they lasted as long as they did. As soon as he got a new bird, his ex stopped him seeing the kids. Proper cunt’s trick. 
 

When him and his new girl moved in together I let him sort out a telly, washing machine and fridge through my catalogue credit. I was made up to see him get back on his feet. That was the first time I’ve ever had to chase him for anything though and he was ultimately late paying the stuff off. Soon after that, his woman ended up going back to Poland and he had no intention of moving away from his kids so he was left with a three bedroom house that he was needing to finance himself as well as paying maintenance/child support. 
 

She went back to Poland on the Monday, I said I’d go up to Runcorn on the Friday and we’d just do man stuff. Play snooker, get pissed, meet old mates for a drink, whatever. 
 

I got to his on the Friday and already his ex had her claws back into him and you could tell by the kip of his house that she hadn’t changed one bit. Me and him still went out one night but it wasn’t exactly the lads weekend I had planned for him. 
 

Since then he’s lost his house, moved back in with her, very recently lost his job and borrowed money off me multiple times that I’ve had stress getting back off him. Even while he was still grafting, trying to get the money back off him was becoming painful. 
 

He still owed me £75 in the summer holidays when I got a call off him. He’d had some issues with his bank card or some shit. He needed £200 just for a couple of days to take his family on a day out. I’m never not gonna say yeah to that. It was a legit day out, I’ve seen all the pictures but I told him it could only be for a couple of days because I needed money for my own holiday. 
 

Anyway, none of the £275 was quick coming back. It took me until mid-December to get just £200 back off him. He’s done my head in with it, specifically because I didn’t need persuading at all once I knew it was for his kids, yet I’m having to chase him round for it back and every time we were speaking it was always part of the conversation. 
 

I wasn’t gonna cut off 30 years of friendship over such a small amount of money but nevertheless he’s taken the absolute piss out of me there and we both know it.

 

He’s just rang me up now. Needs £180 to pay off some people by tomorrow. I said just turn the lights off, hide upstairs or something but then coaxed it out of him that it was debt owed from sniffing gear. He wasn’t even doing the stuff when he was with his Polish missus. I love the bloke but I’m done playing this game with him. I don’t have hundreds of pounds lying around waiting to bail him out. 
 

I’m annoyed he even asked. He still owes me money as it is. 
 

I’m more than annoyed actually. I’m fuming. Somehow I have to jump in to save him from getting his face smashed in? Sorry. No. 

I wouldn't fall out with him, just don't lend him any more money and let him make the effort, if he doesn't. Don't bother with him as much.

 

It's not on you that he's got himself into bother, he'll have to learn his lesson.

[Section_31]

My best mate of 20+ years has fucked me off because he had an affair and he asked me to be a guarantor for a flat (at the Albert Dock no less) because he's so bad with money. He planned to move out of his and his wife's home while she was at work. 

 

I said no because I thought he was making a massive mistake (this woman was married with two grown up kids and had only known each other for a couple of months, they used to bang in the car at work) and his wife is our friend too. He moved out anyway and we were helping give moral support to his wife. I reasured her I'd known nothing about it and was on her side.

 

Predictably he came home after a week and she forgave him, putting it down to some sort of mental episode.

 

Upshot is, he now no longer bothers with anyone who knows what happened, including me and our other main friend. He now only bothers with fringe mates of ours behind our backs who don't know what went down. So the upshot is I see neither of them any more, neither him nor his wife (my wife still sees her).

 

I'm largely unarsed though. I was briefly indignant/angry rather than upset, but the older I get the more philosophical i get about friendship. They come and go.

[JohnnyH]

No such thing as “true friends”. All friends are just a cunt waiting to happen. 

[Harry's Lad]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

My best mate and his inability to manage money is becoming a right pain in my arse. 
 

Let me prefix this with - he’s my best mate and I’ve never been arsed about lending him money as and when, and even when I haven’t had it I’ve been happy to dip into my overdraft and facilitate a loan between him and my Lloyds bank account. 
 

He split up with his bird, the mother of his kids, a few years ago. He had a decent job at the time and ended up back at his ma’s for a bit. You’d think someone could build up a bit of a nest egg in those circumstances but this lad isn’t like that. His old relationship was pretty toxic by the end. He was drinking loads, etc, the house had fallen into a horrible state. On and on it goes, I’m surprised they lasted as long as they did. As soon as he got a new bird, his ex stopped him seeing the kids. Proper cunt’s trick. 
 

When him and his new girl moved in together I let him sort out a telly, washing machine and fridge through my catalogue credit. I was made up to see him get back on his feet. That was the first time I’ve ever had to chase him for anything though and he was ultimately late paying the stuff off. Soon after that, his woman ended up going back to Poland and he had no intention of moving away from his kids so he was left with a three bedroom house that he was needing to finance himself as well as paying maintenance/child support. 
 

She went back to Poland on the Monday, I said I’d go up to Runcorn on the Friday and we’d just do man stuff. Play snooker, get pissed, meet old mates for a drink, whatever. 
 

I got to his on the Friday and already his ex had her claws back into him and you could tell by the kip of his house that she hadn’t changed one bit. Me and him still went out one night but it wasn’t exactly the lads weekend I had planned for him. 
 

Since then he’s lost his house, moved back in with her, very recently lost his job and borrowed money off me multiple times that I’ve had stress getting back off him. Even while he was still grafting, trying to get the money back off him was becoming painful. 
 

He still owed me £75 in the summer holidays when I got a call off him. He’d had some issues with his bank card or some shit. He needed £200 just for a couple of days to take his family on a day out. I’m never not gonna say yeah to that. It was a legit day out, I’ve seen all the pictures but I told him it could only be for a couple of days because I needed money for my own holiday. 
 

Anyway, none of the £275 was quick coming back. It took me until mid-December to get just £200 back off him. He’s done my head in with it, specifically because I didn’t need persuading at all once I knew it was for his kids, yet I’m having to chase him round for it back and every time we were speaking it was always part of the conversation. 
 

I wasn’t gonna cut off 30 years of friendship over such a small amount of money but nevertheless he’s taken the absolute piss out of me there and we both know it.

 

He’s just rang me up now. Needs £180 to pay off some people by tomorrow. I said just turn the lights off, hide upstairs or something but then coaxed it out of him that it was debt owed from sniffing gear. He wasn’t even doing the stuff when he was with his Polish missus. I love the bloke but I’m done playing this game with him. I don’t have hundreds of pounds lying around waiting to bail him out. 
 

I’m annoyed he even asked. He still owes me money as it is. 
 

I’m more than annoyed actually. I’m fuming. Somehow I have to jump in to save him from getting his face smashed in? Sorry. No. 

I can't say I blame you for taking this stance, you've been more than generous and it seems he's taking advantage of your generosity and friendship and that's unfair.

 

He's got himself into lumber and it's on him if he gets a kicking for it, not you or anybody else for that matter.

Times are hard for everybody and sometimes you just have to take a step back and let people deal with their own problems no matter how shitty it makes you feel.

[manwiththestick]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

My best mate and his inability to manage money is becoming a right pain in my arse. 
 

Let me prefix this with - he’s my best mate and I’ve never been arsed about lending him money as and when, and even when I haven’t had it I’ve been happy to dip into my overdraft and facilitate a loan between him and my Lloyds bank account. 
 

He split up with his bird, the mother of his kids, a few years ago. He had a decent job at the time and ended up back at his ma’s for a bit. You’d think someone could build up a bit of a nest egg in those circumstances but this lad isn’t like that. His old relationship was pretty toxic by the end. He was drinking loads, etc, the house had fallen into a horrible state. On and on it goes, I’m surprised they lasted as long as they did. As soon as he got a new bird, his ex stopped him seeing the kids. Proper cunt’s trick. 
 

When him and his new girl moved in together I let him sort out a telly, washing machine and fridge through my catalogue credit. I was made up to see him get back on his feet. That was the first time I’ve ever had to chase him for anything though and he was ultimately late paying the stuff off. Soon after that, his woman ended up going back to Poland and he had no intention of moving away from his kids so he was left with a three bedroom house that he was needing to finance himself as well as paying maintenance/child support. 
 

She went back to Poland on the Monday, I said I’d go up to Runcorn on the Friday and we’d just do man stuff. Play snooker, get pissed, meet old mates for a drink, whatever. 
 

I got to his on the Friday and already his ex had her claws back into him and you could tell by the kip of his house that she hadn’t changed one bit. Me and him still went out one night but it wasn’t exactly the lads weekend I had planned for him. 
 

Since then he’s lost his house, moved back in with her, very recently lost his job and borrowed money off me multiple times that I’ve had stress getting back off him. Even while he was still grafting, trying to get the money back off him was becoming painful. 
 

He still owed me £75 in the summer holidays when I got a call off him. He’d had some issues with his bank card or some shit. He needed £200 just for a couple of days to take his family on a day out. I’m never not gonna say yeah to that. It was a legit day out, I’ve seen all the pictures but I told him it could only be for a couple of days because I needed money for my own holiday. 
 

Anyway, none of the £275 was quick coming back. It took me until mid-December to get just £200 back off him. He’s done my head in with it, specifically because I didn’t need persuading at all once I knew it was for his kids, yet I’m having to chase him round for it back and every time we were speaking it was always part of the conversation. 
 

I wasn’t gonna cut off 30 years of friendship over such a small amount of money but nevertheless he’s taken the absolute piss out of me there and we both know it.

 

He’s just rang me up now. Needs £180 to pay off some people by tomorrow. I said just turn the lights off, hide upstairs or something but then coaxed it out of him that it was debt owed from sniffing gear. He wasn’t even doing the stuff when he was with his Polish missus. I love the bloke but I’m done playing this game with him. I don’t have hundreds of pounds lying around waiting to bail him out. 
 

I’m annoyed he even asked. He still owes me money as it is. 
 

I’m more than annoyed actually. I’m fuming. Somehow I have to jump in to save him from getting his face smashed in? Sorry. No. 

I have a very similar friend, helped him out loads over the years, got him a job, given him furniture for his house, baby equipment when his girlfriend was expecting and neither of them were working (they sold it all on Facebook before the baby was born) bought him a weekly food shop when he was skint and had split up with his bird.

 

I didn't do anything for reciprocal benefit but it came to a point when I'd only hear from him when he's in need of something, last time we met up in a pub (coincidentally also in Runcorn) was because he said he needed to get out of the house and just have a chat with someone so I had to arrange for my folks to have the kids overnight as my missus was also out with some friends. So i turned up, waited over an hour on my own and he came in with no money and I ended up paying for his drinks, about an hour later some random girl turns up who he's arranged to meet off Tinder and when she went to the bog he asks me to lend him 40 quid so they could bugger off elsewhere. I bought them a round, told them to enjoy their night and got off home. He then messaged me later on pissed off because the bird blew him off because he had no money and neither did she.

 

Not really spoken since and I hate that we have drifted apart as we used to have some really good times but you can't be a proper friendship if it's all one sided.

[Carvalho Diablo]

2 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

My best mate and his inability to manage money is becoming a right pain in my arse. 
 

Let me prefix this with - he’s my best mate and I’ve never been arsed about lending him money as and when, and even when I haven’t had it I’ve been happy to dip into my overdraft and facilitate a loan between him and my Lloyds bank account. 
 

He split up with his bird, the mother of his kids, a few years ago. He had a decent job at the time and ended up back at his ma’s for a bit. You’d think someone could build up a bit of a nest egg in those circumstances but this lad isn’t like that. His old relationship was pretty toxic by the end. He was drinking loads, etc, the house had fallen into a horrible state. On and on it goes, I’m surprised they lasted as long as they did. As soon as he got a new bird, his ex stopped him seeing the kids. Proper cunt’s trick. 
 

When him and his new girl moved in together I let him sort out a telly, washing machine and fridge through my catalogue credit. I was made up to see him get back on his feet. That was the first time I’ve ever had to chase him for anything though and he was ultimately late paying the stuff off. Soon after that, his woman ended up going back to Poland and he had no intention of moving away from his kids so he was left with a three bedroom house that he was needing to finance himself as well as paying maintenance/child support. 
 

She went back to Poland on the Monday, I said I’d go up to Runcorn on the Friday and we’d just do man stuff. Play snooker, get pissed, meet old mates for a drink, whatever. 
 

I got to his on the Friday and already his ex had her claws back into him and you could tell by the kip of his house that she hadn’t changed one bit. Me and him still went out one night but it wasn’t exactly the lads weekend I had planned for him. 
 

Since then he’s lost his house, moved back in with her, very recently lost his job and borrowed money off me multiple times that I’ve had stress getting back off him. Even while he was still grafting, trying to get the money back off him was becoming painful. 
 

He still owed me £75 in the summer holidays when I got a call off him. He’d had some issues with his bank card or some shit. He needed £200 just for a couple of days to take his family on a day out. I’m never not gonna say yeah to that. It was a legit day out, I’ve seen all the pictures but I told him it could only be for a couple of days because I needed money for my own holiday. 
 

Anyway, none of the £275 was quick coming back. It took me until mid-December to get just £200 back off him. He’s done my head in with it, specifically because I didn’t need persuading at all once I knew it was for his kids, yet I’m having to chase him round for it back and every time we were speaking it was always part of the conversation. 
 

I wasn’t gonna cut off 30 years of friendship over such a small amount of money but nevertheless he’s taken the absolute piss out of me there and we both know it.

 

He’s just rang me up now. Needs £180 to pay off some people by tomorrow. I said just turn the lights off, hide upstairs or something but then coaxed it out of him that it was debt owed from sniffing gear. He wasn’t even doing the stuff when he was with his Polish missus. I love the bloke but I’m done playing this game with him. I don’t have hundreds of pounds lying around waiting to bail him out. 
 

I’m annoyed he even asked. He still owes me money as it is. 
 

I’m more than annoyed actually. I’m fuming. Somehow I have to jump in to save him from getting his face smashed in? Sorry. No. 

You're a good lad Tuds but you must be fucking mental.

[Gnasher]

Reading the past couple of pages i'm just glad I haven't got a mate from Runcorn.

[Captain Turdseye]

5 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

You're a good lad Tuds but you must be fucking mental.

Haha. This is all a fairly recent thing from him. I’ve known him all my life. 
 

I can’t imagine very many circumstances in which I’ll be lending him money for a while though. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

Just now, Captain Turdseye said:

Haha. This is all a fairly recent thing from him. I’ve known him all my life. 
 

I can’t imagine very many circumstances in which I’ll be lending him money for a while though. 

Would you send me £500 if I promised to pay you back sometime on the 12th? I need a new thing.

[Captain Turdseye]

1 minute ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Would you send me £500 if I promised to pay you back sometime on the 12th? I need a new thing.

I can do you £200 but I need it back on the 10th. 
 

Same deal as last time. You have very smooth hands for a big man. 

[3 Stacks]

1 hour ago, JohnnyH said:

No such thing as “true friends”. All friends are just a cunt waiting to happen. 

Ooof.

[Section_31]

[sir roger]

In these circumstances, Cap'n,  I usually ask what the Everton Board would do, and I am fairly sure they would tell you to keep on giving him money.

[VladimirIlyich]

True friends dont keep asking you for money.

[easytoslip]

You better have Jesus I'll tell yer that's all.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

6 hours ago, JohnnyH said:

No such thing as “true friends”. All friends are just a cunt waiting to happen. 

Nah that's absolutely not true.

[lifetime fan]

7 hours ago, JohnnyH said:

No such thing as “true friends”. All friends are just a cunt waiting to happen. 

Fucking hell mate. 
 

Just had a falling out with a long time friend? 

[JohnnyH]

5 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Fucking hell mate. 
 

Just had a falling out with a long time friend? 

No. Just grumpy. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

16 hours ago, Section_31 said:

 the older I get the more philosophical i get about friendship. They come and go.

Same here. Nothing lasts forever, so there's no point stressing about it when it comes to an end; just enjoy it for what it is while it lasts.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I think to an extent though people take for granted being able to manage money well, although much better than I used to be I've never been good at it, maybe never will, I think there can be massive contributing factors to that for people and it's a hard thing to get a grip of.

[Guest]

A friend is like a tarantula putting it's prey in position for a strike. Trust a friend like a tarantula and you'll be ok.

[Section_31]

6 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

I think to an extent though people take for granted being able to manage money well, although much better than I used to be I've never been good at it, maybe never will, I think there can be massive contributing factors to that for people and it's a hard thing to get a grip of.

 

Also, let's be honest, most people these days just aren't paid well. I get by these days but for most of my 20s was on my arse, but my first job out of uni paid 12 grand. 

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

I think to an extent though people take for granted being able to manage money well, although much better than I used to be I've never been good at it, maybe never will, I think there can be massive contributing factors to that for people and it's a hard thing to get a grip of.

I’m shocking at it. When I lived down south I was on really good money so it was never an issue but since moving back up here 6 years ago and having a long period out of work I’ve sunk big time. Barely managed to tread water and got myself into a right pickle.
 

Start a new job in 2 weeks that pays a salary aligned with what I was earning down south so there is no excuse for me not to be above water in the coming months and get everything cleared off. I’m going to download one of them money tracker apps and act like a grown up for once.

 

I’ve already got a tesco Clubcard and the app which is about the most grown up adult thing I’ve ever done when it comes to money. 
 

Maybe the term spends like a sailor is true. I could take 100 quid the pub and come home two hours later with fuck all. 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

16 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

Also, let's be honest, most people these days just aren't paid well. I get by these days but for most of my 20s was on my arse, but my first job out of uni paid 12 grand. 

That's true,  i'm in a really good position at the moment but nothing lasts forever, I need to start being a stingy cunt, that's my answer.