True friends

[3 Stacks]

23 hours ago, Elite said:

Friends are overrated.

 

Acquaintances are better. Have a few beers, then don't worry about them.

Disagree. I am at the point where my best friends have become acquaintances because of life, relationships, people moving away, etc... and it's bad. Hang out once every couple months when we're all in town and barely keep contact through group chats. 

[Redder Lurtz]

6 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Last time I properly heard from/about him, he’d gone camping in Clacton with this bird and her two kids, kicked off some sort of pissed-up row and disappeared with the girl’s phone, cards and money. 
 

I got a call from his phone before 7am on the Sunday and it was the girl using his phone, in tears, telling me she didn’t know where he was. I just handed the phone to my missus. It’s Sunday morning, FFS. Before this point I’d already advised her three times to fuck him off after different incidents. 

 

Turns out he’d jumped on a train to London for reasons unknown. They kissed and made up, and then he started going quiet and just generally making everything feel weird and awkward. She said he was embarrassed, didn’t wanna talk about it, he felt it wasn’t anybody else’s business, etc. He’s obviously got her in a controlling relationship. After that we swapped a few messages on WhatsApp but that’s it. 
 

He went totally silent for five days before I sent the messages below, which he left unopened, so at some point in his head he’s decided to ghost me. I had a family member in Liverpool in hospital and in a coma at the very end of August. I shot up there ASAP. I know he knew about it because his bird had been to mine while I was gone. He didn’t message me or anything, he’s supposed to be my mate, man. Other people from down here were messaging me while I was up there. I even had more moral support from people I know from on here!
 

 

 

Anyway, when I got home I sent the girl a message so it’d get read. Just basically saying I was washing my hands of him for good, he’s clearly no friend of mine, lesson learned, etc. 

 

Cheeky ungrateful cunt has either dreamt up some problem, or me being around was impeding him in his quest to control this girl. Either way, the final scene of this drama will be me calling him a shithouse to his face. Let’s see how he reacts to that in the spur of the moment. With any luck he’ll be so intimidated by how hard I am that he’ll fuck off back to Runcorn and pay those other fellas the £1600. 
 

Whatever his problem is, I don’t think he’s got the minerals to say it to directly to my face when I catch him on the spot. He tried to FaceTime me last month but I just laughed and put my phone back on the coffee table. 

 

Fuckinell. Quite a tale. That's what too much coke will do though. I've binned a couple of good mates off in years gone by over that shite. There's nothing that'll utterly change someone's behaviour as that horrible crap. 

[Elite]

1 hour ago, 3 Stacks said:

Disagree. I am at the point where my best friends have become acquaintances because of life, relationships, people moving away, etc... and it's bad. Hang out once every couple months when we're all in town and barely keep contact through group chats. 

Happens to everyone that. You grow to not give a fuck.

[littletedwest]

Last time I went out with my mates I left my best mate at midnight at top of his street. He wanted stay out. I got  up to ten missed calls and a picture message of him off his face wearing a Russian hat he'd rang a lad he used work with who's a massive coke head, got a taxi to Huddersfield to this lads house which is an hours drive.  His Mrs was going mental as you can imagine. 

[deiseach]

On 17/01/2023 at 10:14, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Same here. Nothing lasts forever, so there's no point stressing about it when it comes to an end; just enjoy it for what it is while it lasts.

 

The thing is, for something to end it first has to start. Outside of my wife and my blood relatives, there is one adult in this world who would give a shit if I died. One. And if I narrowed it down to this island, that leaves my wife., I bumped into an old work colleague recently on Walton Breck Road for some random reason that will not be mentioned on the GF and it was pathetic how gratified I was that he remembered me after nearly 20 years. I'm not miserable or anything, but I read stories of corpses lying undiscovered for years and think that my son doesn't know how much leverage he has with me.

[Captain Turdseye]

Ive got one mate who’s missus has him doing all sorts of crap stuff all the time. Kids are in clubs. Going to listen to talks about writing and stuff. The poor bloke doesn’t stop. We accidentally got him elected onto the Town Council as well so that’s more shit he doesn’t actually want to be doing.
 

I’ve got this thing going now where we meet on Wednesday nights for a couple of pints. Nothing major, 8pm - close, something like that, but it’s in his missus’ head now that he’s always busy on Wednesdays. There are certain caveats but two Wednesdays in a row cannot be cancelled. 
 

My kid’s gonna be moving up to secondary school next year but his is in the year below. I won’t be seeing him every day on the school run, so I want to maintain this Wednesday thing. It’s more important than any council meetings. 
 

 

Edit: It’s the same Mansfield/Nottingham lad I was talking about a couple of pages back. 

[3 Stacks]

1 hour ago, Elite said:

Happens to everyone that. You grow to not give a fuck.

Yes, but you don't want to get to a point where you don't have people outside your family you can rely on. That's the sort of thing that can lead to seclusion, loneliness, depression, etc...

[Section_31]

Making friends is hard, people shouldn't take it personal, we just live in quite an isolated and isolating society.

 

I had no mates at all after leaving school, and didn't make new ones until I was 19/20 in uni. Still mates with them. In the subsequent years in jobs etc I've provably made about another 10 but am only still in regular touch with two.

 

I'm always surprised how many people don't seem to be able to maintain friendships with male friends once they've got a bird or are married, it's really odd. Certain blokes only seem to be able to maintain one or the other. I reckon this is because women become the social planners in the couple, men generally can't be arsed, so generally they'll end up socialising with her friends or as a couple simple because she's the only one who ever arranges anything.

[YorkshireRed]

My experience seems to be a bit different from most on here.

 

I’ve pretty much had the same group of friends since I started secondary school

at eleven years of age. I was fifty one in October.
 

A few have come and gone over the years, but there’s still a hardcore of about eight of us that see each other most weeks.
 

We still go out most Saturday afternoons. Some weeks there might only be three out, other weeks it’s a full attendance, but rarely a week goes by when at least some of the group don’t meet up.

 

We’ve survived absences caused by things like University, petty fall outs, unmentionable differences, or falling in love and drifting away for a period. We even survived one of my friends, having a relationship with one of my other friend's mothers (they ended up living together for a few years).

 

In the way that men do, we’ve supported each other through heartbreak, divorce, bereavement, financial difficulties, addiction, and relegation in the unmentionable. 

 

Forty years in, the cracks are there like never before though. Some of that is just a result of some of us growing apart. I don’t have much in common with a few of them these days, other than a multi decade friendship. 
 

Drugs have played their part. Some do, some don’t. One that does, now has real issues, at least two that don’t struggle a lot with those that do. 
 

All are, or have been, heavy drinkers but that has been more a bond than something that divides. So far at least.
 

For the first time ever, I can take it or leave it. Part of that’s them, most of it is just about where I am in life now. My mental health, in particular, isn’t good and I’d rather be at home in bed most of the time. 
 

I do consider myself lucky though. We’ve had some great times in the past, and I’m sure we’ll just get through this rocky period and have some more in the future.

[RobbieOR]

I'm fairly lucky in that I have a great group of mates since i left school 13/14 years ago, we all still see each other regularly despite some people emigrating. A few of us have had some tough news to deal recently with and all been there for each other. Been at 3 weddings in the last 18 months and despite the fact we're all in relationships it's as strong as ever. I'm blessed to have it and it won't be like that forever but to have it still in your 30's is pretty cool. 

[Anubis]

Graced by the presence of Forum Royalty today!

[manwiththestick]

23 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

My experience seems to be a bit different from most on here.

 

I’ve pretty much had the same group of friends since I started secondary school

at eleven years of age. I was fifty one in October.
 

A few have come and gone over the years, but there’s still a hardcore of about eight of us that see each other most weeks.
 

We still go out most Saturday afternoons. Some weeks there might only be three out, other weeks it’s a full attendance, but rarely a week goes by when at least some of the group don’t meet up.

 

We’ve survived absences caused by things like University, petty fall outs, unmentionable differences, or falling in love and drifting away for a period. We even survived one of my friends, having a relationship with one of my other friend's mothers (they ended up living together for a few years).

 

In the way that men do, we’ve supported each other through heartbreak, divorce, bereavement, financial difficulties, addiction, and relegation in the unmentionable. 

 

Forty years in, the cracks are there like never before though. Some of that is just a result of some of us growing apart. I don’t have much in common with a few of them these days, other than a multi decade friendship. 
 

Drugs have played their part. Some do, some don’t. One that does, now has real issues, at least two that don’t struggle a lot with those that do. 
 

All are, or have been, heavy drinkers but that has been more a bond than something that divides. So far at least.
 

For the first time ever, I can take it or leave it. Part of that’s them, most of it is just about where I am in life now. My mental health, in particular, isn’t good and I’d rather be at home in bed most of the time. 
 

I do consider myself lucky though. We’ve had some great times in the past, and I’m sure we’ll just get through this rocky period and have some more in the future.

A could have written that myself about our group. Known a bunch of lads since first day of primary school and 40 odd years later still meeting up a few times a year to take the piss out of each other and laugh about the same old memories.

[Tj hooker]

My best mate we met on the first day of Senior school has lived in New York for nearly 40 years now but were still in regular contact , my other mates local to me are great lads who were introduced by my  mate in NY and we've gone through everything Marriage kids divorce and are as solid as ever except for 1 lad who sadly  passed away last year .

Whenever we go out for a beer we always raise a toast for the one who is not around any more I suppose that's the price we pay for getting old