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Mate once went back to a girls house and said there was a terrible smell about the place. Stumbled to the loo during the night and when he put the light on there was a bloated, dead alsatian in the bath.

well quite

A couple of years ago my mum wanted to watch a tv series that wasn't on TV so I lent her my firestick showed her how to use it and left her too it. I can't remember what the series was but afterwards she was telling me about it and it pisses her off when they mess with timelines and shift the story about trying to be clever it totally confused her. Turns out she watched the entire series starting from the last episode and working her way through to the first. Can't believe she watched the whole series that way.

Corona most at risk 1 NHS front line staff 2 Over 75's with underlying conditions 3 Relegation threatened football players

Kuenssberg is supposed to be a BBC journalist, not a Tory spokesperson regurgitating whatever spin No 10 want to put on this though the artifice of a 'close source'. If there is a rebuttal, then Cummings can do it himself, on the record, not through his pet mouthpiece. Now, I've got no idea what you're trying to get at here, and have no interest in carrying on an argument for post after post. Reply with something withering, I'll ignore it in terms of replying back, but probably be slightly annoyed for a bit and we can both get on with our evenings.

So-crates A Doctor, a gambler, a smoker, a heavy drinker a womaniser and a genius at football. The jammy bastard.

I disagree To about the refs as they were absolutely terrified of the financial behemoth that was United at the time. Just as bad was Sky owning a chunk of the club at the same time they were starting to dictate terms to the PL and rearranging the football schedules and distributing tv cash. This doesn't mean they weren't the best team by a long way,they were but they got a big leg up and it took decades to dislodge them. Also,look at their record in Europe,it was very poor considering their home league dominance. This may be because they didnt get their own way? You could argue Arsenal's achievements are just as great given their much lesser budget and influence. Wenger was sensational in rivalling United. Similarities with us and City I reckon.

Not as bad as the Alsatian but same sort of thing. Pulled on a night out, back to hers, she was actually decent, nothing untoward seemed to be going on. After we finished I went to the bog for a piss but as I go in the bathroom there’s an old bloke in the bath washing motorbike parts (and I mean having a bath himself and taking the opportunity to wash the motorbike stuff down as well at the same time) It must have been after 3 in the morning. Turns out she was still living with her parents while in her mid twenties and that was her dad. Weird.

Which are your one and a half? Alien and Blade Runner are both absolute classics. Not on the same level for me but you could cobble more than half out of Thelma & Louise, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down and The Martian. I even quite like Matchstick Men.

Spot on. I'm sure TK421 has no agenda regarding the BAME thing but proper context isn't being provided. I am black myself, so I feel the need to provide insight regarding the issue. In America and the UK, people of color are only at a higher risk based on bad living conditions due to poverty and/or type of jobs they have to do. When it is cited that people of color are at higher risk of death from covid, some people like Deeney are ignoring or unaware of the nuance involve. That specific situation is very community dependent. So for example, a rich black man in his 30s like Deeney, is at a far lower risk of dying than a black man in the same age range who lives in the ghetto with poor living conditions, who has to take public transport to work in a Tesco where he would be exposed to even more people. Hope this post helps regarding the issue.

Warwick Davis

Everytime someone dies we should physically move the body like the Baltimore police do. "Coronavirus deaths in England were down to 15 today as the number in Wales rose by 368."

Any fella who does not want to play football for any reason does not have to. Not sure there is a sound argument for expecting to be paid if you make that decision though.

It was because you wouldn’t accept just being a one night stand.

That’s the best Sir Roger tale.

One of life's little pleasures is deciding randomly that you dont like a contestant and wallowing in their downfall.

To be fair I can understand him being scared about one of his girls going to a concert and getting caught up in that.

You what? It’s probably the best plot twist of all time! Ivan Drago - a robot! Fucking brilliant!

I quite enjoyed the travel doc he did with his wife and kids , but he is so annoying on Tenable with his shit jokes.

Nothing new about that mate.

He's s smug little cunt but he's probably had to have thick skin with all the jokes that have probably been aimed at him, plus he's had a few horrible experiences in his personal life.

Just 351 dead yesterday. Time to get the cigars out, Boris has saved us. I mean, not the 351 dead people. But the rest of us. And not the 1000+ dead this week, either. But the rest of us. Good times!

Oh come on, you're better than that. You know the difference, don't sound like a big baby like Danny rose. Spot on. Exactly how it should be handled.

Watched the first episode of Snowfall last night. Very promising.

Amazing. Imagine Jim, Terry McCann, Karl Urban's version of Judge Dredd and The Punisher putting the world to rights?

You’ve got your manc twats mixed up there. That’s a Stone Roses song.

Seriously, no one's pulled him for posting that? Put people on a flight to Wuhan? So, it's ok to plaster all over social media about fucking scousers 'wanting to complete the season with people dieing' and this cunt is going on about sending people to Wuhan because their rumoured 3rd shirt is so shit? Stop the fucking world, I want to get off.

I have noticed they tend not to report positive milestones in other countries. Their news site has mostly gone to shit since the epidemic.

I know I’m late to the social media discussion in here but I find it interesting. ive never been into twitter, and yet suddenly in the last 3 months I am. I go on there regularly. I practically never post anything and I only follow a couple of dozen people but I’ve found it great for getting good information and enjoyable content I wouldn’t have likely seen otherwise. i follow a handful of NFL peeps, and read about 1/10th of the content they post. i follow a handful of football/lfc peeps, and read almost none of it but skim the headlines. The rest are journalists or people that have been putting good stuff out that I’ve seen shared, like the FT graph fella. i almost never look into the comments, so it almost never annoys or upsets me. its like a news and funnies aggregator, and it works to give me some light relief. facebook on the other hand I’ve completely gone away from. I deleted it a few times, though I reinstalled it lately. I find anytime I do go on there I just end up down a rabbit hole watching pointless videos of shite or reading “48 things you Didn’t know you could do with a screwdriver” type rubbish. its utterly inane, and the fact my mum and her pals use it more than I do now probably says a lot.

Champ, I think you're great. I really do. I really enjoy your input in the serious things that come up in the GF. You're a voice of reason and sense. But I absolutely abhor your final line. It strikes me as the type of thing one of those people who tell you "I say it like it is" who always turns out to be an insufferable prick (which I know you are not) would say. I just couldn't disagree more. There is no sensitivity to be found by saying "she's dead" to someone who has just lost their partner and refers to it as "She passed" to soften the harshness of it all. Death is taboo because it robs you of someone you love for ever. They are gone. Never ever to be seen again. It's ok for that to be taboo. Certainly no one else has the right to tell another person how they should deal with that. They can celebrate the life and move on, or be devastated and never use "died" because it hits home too hard. If that's what they want to do, then the least I can do is respect that and use a similar word. You are of course right that there is a religious connotation to it. It was originally used in poems starting centuries ago about "passing" from this life to the next", but like an atheist saying "please God" to something (I say it all the time and I'm atheist), the meaning has moved on. It's just a way of softening a really difficult word when you've lost a loved one. Someone trying to bring "honesty" to that would get short shrift from me. Sorry to rant, but I feel a wee bit strongly about this.

Is there anything remotely redeemable about that plate full of bin over spill?

£1000 fine for people arriving in the country and not self isolating. Shouldn't it be relative to income. Basically the wealthy have the right to do whatever they can afford too.

100%. If someone who is speaking of a loved one uses the term “passed on” (a common way of referring to death in Ireland) then I’d go as far as saying a person who responds saying they’re dead or died is a fucking prick. It’s softening of terms while speaking of the most traumatic of all things. All for some stupid fucking ideal it’s an “Americanism”? Jesus...

Yep, Sandown Lane I think, off the high street. Bit off track but friends of mine owned it. Went there one night, friends where away for weekend. Family member standing in said "sorry, no stay behind tonight" Next time I saw him he apologized, he had a stripper booked for the stay behind willing to take on anyone who wanted a crack and I was with my missus so he couldn't ask. Back on track, yea a fuckin quilt, at least check your spelling, or maybe he doesn't know?

He's a complete and utter cunt.

Bodie’s crew in Point Break wouldn’t be seen in a Trump mask would they. It’d be like being given the name Mr Pink.

Her body looks like Earthworm Jim.

No doubt about it. Next season will be behind closed doors and I don’t see people subscribing to Sky etc to watch that shite, I know I won’t. Add to that the loss of match day revenue and likely advertising as interest falls away and football will be skint. I just want to see us win the title, once that’s done football can fuck off as far as I’m concerned, won’t miss it one jot.

I pulled a bird once who was so rough I actually had a panic attack when I went back to her flat. I'd just assumed I'd had an allergic reaction to her cat and had to go home for a puff on an old inhaler.

What a shit way to become a disgraced former police officer. "Did you tax drug dealers like Alonzo Harris in training day?" "Nah, much worse. I broke the rules regarding free breakfasts."

Also worthy of a spot in the "Smarmy faces made to punch" thread

Mine was called Julie. The point where her son knocked on the door and asked ‘who’s in there mum’ to which She replied ‘fuck off Tyler, this is mummy time’ might have been the lowest of a lot of lowest moments from our night together.

Yeah, to us all! That looks like an excerpt taken from my life story of trawling bad clubs circa 94-98.

Mané's hair line is so far back that it’s level on points with Everton.

She's one of those women you'd pull in a rough establishment like Brannigans or Chicago Rock when you were a young lad and had watched too much porn, go back to hers and bum her, be horrified at the smells and sights and feel instantly depressed that it wasn't like the movies. Then in the morning you'd hear her shouting at her kid and realise her room was actually quite dirty, you'd exchange numbers mainly because you're a bit scared about her kicking off, get a taxi home, go to bed and watch the Wire with a brew and some toast, delete all future texts and have a month off drinking.