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I'm fine. Just shitting my pants.

Where's Button Moon you twat?

Shaw, why not.

Bollocks. You can't tell me he shouldn't be doing better here.

Bottom Game of Thrones He-man Come Dine with Me Floyd on Fish The A-Team Louis Theroux Documentarys Only Fools and Horses LOST The Office Honourable mention to 1990s WWF wrestling. And Emu and the Pinkwindmill. Of course

Knightmare was great, too.

The Day Today Brass Eye Knowing Me Knowing You Nathan Barley Batman (Adam West era) Auf Wiedersehen Pet The Wire Planet Earth Babestation LFCTV

Sky News running with the "City could face European Ban" story coincidentally just after the league is won. Meanwhile Bolton get a 12 point deduction for their clubs financial misdemeanours

Wanted to let the dust settle a bit from Sunday. Get this won Reds

I have to take a bottle of water to bed with me instead of a glass after waking up last summer and having a big swig of juice, then looking into the glass after I had swallowed and seeing a fucking massive dead spider curled up and floating at the top. Made me proper paranoid now. Honestly it was huge, approximately the size of @Bjornebye‘s cock, that is to say between one and two inches long.

An authentic original, who didn’t take himself seriously. Sort of character who doesn’t make tv programmes anymore, but who opened the door for a whole host of others who don’t have anything like the same charm.

Let's just hope he pass the ball when he should.

Imagine the ability it takes to call for Salah to be dropped for ruining the attack at the start of a season where he goes on to score 44 goals and then follow it up the next season to call Allison a clown and say we should have kept Karius. Imagine if that was your actual brain, thinking those things. Amazing.

June 1st is my birthday. I'm expecting a very big present.

"See that bastard over there? No that one.. The big fucking one there see it? Cunt them in it"

"I might as well say this now, Sue Cook has pulled out"

To recap: xyrrj.mp4

TK's Ratings bonus edition:- Macadamia 10. Exotic flair, an impressive fat content and delicious subtle flavour make this king of the nuts. So much better tasting from its native habitat. Expensive, but you get what you pay for in the world of nuts. Cashew 9. A very tasty nut either plain, salted or coated. Great as a snack or added to Chinese food, as simonlfcgreen can testify. Pistachio 8. A great tasting nut but it loses a mark due to the hassle of shelling them. They don't taste the same when pre-shelled, unfortunately. Brazil 7. An excellent all round nut with a nice flavour, but it doesn't hit the heights of the macadamia/cashew/pistachio holy triumvirate. Must not be overeaten due to fibre content in the skin. Peanut 6. A decent nut but can loose its moreish appeal during the second half of a long session, leaving you wondering why oh why you ate so many of them.

I thought last night's episode was fucking stunning

Clarification on 'rushed'. When I said it, I definitely didn't mean rushed the process. I mean they could have done with many more episodes to cover the content.

Tom Heaton to replace Mignolet? He's got 1 year left on his deal. Shout out @viRdjil

Dany has always been shown to be sitting on the moral fence. It was built up long in advance that she was capable of going off the rails. Ideally it would have been a more gradual slide into utter madness but it is definitely there to see.

Oh come on! You don't need to be a professional sportsman to have an opinion on sport! You don't have to a professional chef to have an opinion on a meal!

I didn't search, they're readily available. In fact, they're not always easy to avoid on Twitter. I looked because I hardly care what happens now. I hardly care about any of the characters. Its cinematography has been awesome and I loved the final scene of the Night King etc, but the writing has gone to shit!

Kieran Tierney would be a good shout. Young, British and can cover both full back positions and loads of potential. Probably wouldn’t be happy being a squad player here though.

Off the top of my head: Bottom Banshee Better Call Saul Game of Thrones South Park Archer Monkey Billions Sherlock Holmes (the Jeremy Brett series) Ash vs Evil Dead

The most recent series of Line of Duty was a steaming pile of Sanchez.

They had their moment 25 years ago. A couple of decent riffs and the worst body of lyrics outside of Des'ree's "Life" really shouldn't make anyone take these giftless turds seriously.

Repped for Cracker. Brilliant brilliant TV, first British show I got my Mrs into. Don't remember too much about the Wonder years apart from the brilliant titles of 60s home videos filled with nostalgia. That and a little Marilyn Manson playing Fred Savage's best mate!

Police Squad The Smell of Reeves & Mortimer Shooting Stars The Sopranos True Detective (first series) I'm Alan Partridge The Sweeney Curb Your Enthusiasm Bang Bang with Reeves & Mortimer The Beat Club (German music programme)

Spot on, TK

That was a mess. Daenerys going mad. Arya just jibbing off killing Cercei. The random woman Arya is desperate to save. Jaime getting stabbed through the body with a sword and then walking it off. Jon continually screaming for his men to stop, whilst he carries on killing Lannisters. The lack of anything happening to the dragon when they had hundreds of boats and positions around the castle loaded with huge crossbows. The death of Qyburn. The Hound letting Cercei walk past him, without doing anything, during his confrontation with the Mountain. But the bit that annoyed me the most was the scenes with Varys. Varys's intelligence is legendary. He's been a genius at positioning himself perfectly in the power hierarchy throughout the whole show. Now, suddenly he decides to say "fuck it" and starts openly talking about usurping the Queen to anyone within ear shot. That made a mockery of his character. The scene on the shore with Jon being most egregious.

Wonderful stuff, I especially love the last couple of paragraphs.

One Summer Life on Mars Ashes to Ashes The Wonder Years Deadwood Danger Mouse Boys from the Blackstuff 1980s Grange Hill The Fugitive Cracker

At least Slough has poetry written about it

Makka Salah's goal at the Kop end.

A saliva bird, upon my chest.

One Day In Gaza on BBC 2 tonight. Looks interesting. Includes footage and accounts from both sides of the border on the day when the US embassy was opened in Jerusalem, when several Palestinian protesters were murdered. I wonder if we'll see any footage from the Gaza News Agency???

You just know the sort - uber scouse in the most cliched way - starting and ending every sentence with "lad".....constantly cracking shite jokes, always the loudest voice in the room, talks over everybody else with his great 'humour'....would definitely keep on with winding someone up/taking the piss even when it is obvious it has gone too far and nobody else thinks it is funny any more, but if anyone pointed it out to him he'd get the nark....has a shite unfunny nickname for everybody....points out peoples features etc for ridicule....leers at women and cracks jokes like 'you don't get many of those to the pound' and 'while yer down there love'....goes in the chinese and calls the lad behind the jump 'jackie chan'....you get the drift. Basically a boring shithouse.

Not often, I could count the times on the fingers of one hand.

The wonders of aging. Woke up a bit after 2am needing a piss. It now 03.45 here and I'm reading a thread about pissing in the night trying to get back to sleep

If you're worried about your prostrate then go the quacks and get a blood test. They can pick up the cancer markers . Most men get enlargement of the prostrate as they get older and find they are pissing more often in the night. In most cases its nothing to be alarmed about but ffs get it checked if .

Police in Madrid are concerned that Spurs fans will try to bring flares into the stadium, because that's what they wore the last time they were in a European final.

We did it as a works do a few months ago in Manchester. It’s either the original set or a proper reconstruction of it in Granada studios. It was amazing, really good laugh and not easy at all (no, your other fucking right). No birds doing physical- that’s the only rule. https://the-crystal-maze.com/manchester/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIja6Z356b4gIVzr_tCh2uhQ8wEAAYASAAEgIXKfD_BwE

I think Spurs have been using this transfer theory for about 18 months now.

I don't watch near as much in the way of TV shows as i do films Off the top of my head Dads Army Blackadder Parks and Recreation The Wire The Simpsons South Park The World at War Band of Brothers Fraiser Life on Earth EDIT scrap these for life on earth Possibles for last place Game of Thrones(can't be that arsed in a season and half behind) Tried rewatching Sporanos and just can't get into it again, don't think its aging well Daredevil Monty Pythons Flying circus, think its very hit and miss compared to the films I’m Alan Partridge Fawlty Towers

Wasn't Carl Lewis proved to be a drug cheat too!