What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[YorkshireRed]

19 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Come at me 

 

 

After the grilled sticklebacks debacle this is a marked improvement so some credit is due. 
 

It’s not a bad effort for a breakfast served on a plate rescued from the coffin Queen Victoria was buried in.

 

There’s obviously a key ingredient missing but, by now, you are who you are and the rest of us will just have to learn to live with it. 
 

Eggs are a triumph, as is the bacon. I’m no fan of grilled tomato but each to their fruit on a breakfast own. 
 

Bread instead of toast? Go sit in the corner, face the wall and think very seriously about your behaviour. 

[YorkshireRed]

11 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

I care not for your opinions, at 11am next Sunday I will be eating this...

 

 

...with a hangover and I will call it breakfast and I will be happy and at peace with the world.

This has less of a place on a breakfast thread than photos of me do on the fit birds that fly under the radar one. 

[TheHowieLama]

I am questioning whether the bread has even been baked, much less toasted.

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, TheHowieLama said:

I am questioning whether the bread has even been baked, much less toasted.

I was walking the dog and my bird txt to say she’s picked me up some bacon. Asked if she’d got bread and she hadn’t so she had to go and grab some from her mums in the next street. It’s not quite mighty white but fuck me it’s not far off. She also got a bottle of still mineral water instead of lemonade. Vegans are thick as fuck 

[Elite]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Come at me 

 

 

The bacon, egg and hash browns would go well on the bread as a butty. Shove that tomato in the bin and those abused mushrooms.

 

7/10. Seen a lot worse on here. 

[TheHowieLama]

Seems to be a trend towards poached eggs over fried.

 

Might need a quick poll on the best way to cook an egg.

[Pidge]

I made some world class scrambled eggs earlier. A much maligned form, because people overcook them.

[Tony Moanero]

4 minutes ago, Pidge said:

I made some world class scrambled eggs earlier. A much maligned form, because people overcook them.

Runny scrambled eggs are horrid.

[mattyq]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Come at me 

 

 

Eggs & Bacon look great and the lack of beans even more so.

The elephant in the room is the worrying lack of sausages and the, frankly, bizarre plate

[TheHowieLama]

13 minutes ago, Pidge said:

I made some world class scrambled eggs earlier. A much maligned form, because people overcook them.

Agreed, done correctly they are very - if you are feeling frisky add a dash of soy sauce.

8 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Runny scrambled eggs are horrid.

There is no such thing as runny, that would be underdone by a cook with the heat too high.

Creamy, soft scrambled are proper, doen slow over a low heat - see Jacques Pepin's.

[Pidge]

14 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Runny scrambled eggs are horrid.

Yeah, they shouldn't be runny, but the should still have some moisture (obv best with butter). Not really any wetter than a fried egg (just the yolk and butter emulsified makes the texture creamier).

[Bjornebye]

Properly done scrambled eggs (just eggs and butter with some black pepper) in a pan is the king of the egg. All eggs are amazing though. Eggs. 

 

 

[Tony Moanero]

1 minute ago, TheHowieLama said:

Agreed, done correctly they are very - if you are feeling frisky add a dash of soy sauce.

There is no such thing as runny, that would be underdone by a cook with the heat too high.

Creamy, soft scrambled are proper, doen slow over a low heat - see Jacques Pepin's.

Unfortunately, there is such a thing. Loads of eateries make runny scrambled eggs. Pretentious, overpriced places that make a living from reinventing the wheel, serving food on pieces of slate, etc.

[Trumo]

7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Properly done scrambled eggs (just eggs and butter with some black pepper) in a pan is the king of the egg. All eggs are amazing though. Eggs.

 

 

Even century eggs?

[Anubis]

Scrambled eggs via the ban marie method. With a splash of cream in them.

 

Nice poached eggs, Stig. But the rest of it....

[Pidge]

31 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Properly done scrambled eggs (just eggs and butter with some black pepper) in a pan is the king of the egg. All eggs are amazing though. Eggs. 

 

 

*nods*

 

Eggs.

[TheHowieLama]

54 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Unfortunately, there is such a thing. Loads of eateries make runny scrambled eggs. Pretentious, overpriced places that make a living from reinventing the wheel, serving food on pieces of slate, etc.

You should try some other places.

 

 

[Evelyn Tentions]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Come at me 

 

 

Toaster broken? No black pudding? No sausage? Possibly balanced by the absence of beans.

As we used to say at school playing knock about  f***ý, half way for boys.

[TheHowieLama]

Not just butter - @Anubis is right - add a bit (touch, lashing) of cream at the end - settles the heat down and does the magic. Impossible to be runny if done properly.

[Tony Moanero]

1 hour ago, TheHowieLama said:

You should try some other places.

 

 

Haha. This country is awash with them.

[Remmie]

7 hours ago, Anubis said:

Scrambled eggs via the ban marie method. With a splash of cream in them.

 

Nice poached eggs, Stig. But the rest of it....

I like to lash in some finely grated extra mature chedder and put it on some heavily buttered and toasted tiger bread.

 

Food boner.

[Remmie]

10 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Come at me 

 

 

Why have you got sandwiches on there instead of toast? 

 

Hash browns are dickheads.

 

Mushrooms look good, don't agree with poached eggs on a breakfast but they look nice. 

 

Could have done with cleaning the pan before you cooked the tomato in it.

[Chip Butty]

A  Vegetarian offering, for your consideration.

[Bjornebye]

Fuck off 

[Anubis]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Fuck off 

x2