What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Pyar strontium dog gear lately. Bring back silverlining let's just be done with it. Nah cremate the cunt

Just tell lifey that he needs a gentle warming up.

[Mook]

I think it's time to delete this thread & turn the internet off quite frankly.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Just type "Google" into Google and you'll break the internet.

[Anny Road]

 

Before I get slagged off I am not a fan of Wetherspoons. But this for a fiver with unlimited coffee aint bad at all it was nice and a lot better than some of the 10 quid efforts.

2 sausage. Ok. Not proper fucking butchers sausages but Ok

2 black pudd. Ok but overcooked

Tattied scone. Lovely

2 Eggs . Ok bit runny nice.

2 bacon. Well cooked

Beans. Well done

Haggis

2 nice toast

4 cups of coffee.

 

£5.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Not burnt enough. 1/10837193££2£&1@&&3£

 

Decent effort for a fiver. 7/10. 6/10 because coffee.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Oh, and the plate is hideous.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Oh, and that run over armadillo isn’t looking that good.

[Anny Road]

The plate was horrible. Fair point. This is not me being reviewed so not taking it personal. A decent coffee and a packet of sausages would have cost me more to cook myself.

[Lee909]

The haggis looks like its come out of a microwave tray

[Anny Road]

The haggis looks like its come out of a microwave tray

It’s Wetherspoons the whole ting will have been cooked in China flown here and microwaved. Tasted ok though.

Anyone ever seen a job advertised or know someone who is a chef in Wetherspoons?

[Captain Turdseye]

It’s Wetherspoons the whole ting will have been cooked in China flown here and microwaved. Tasted ok though.

Anyone ever seen a job advertised or know someone who is a chef in Wetherspoons?

Aye, my little sister works in the kitchen at one. She says absolutely everything is microwaved apart from the chips which they do in a deep fat fryer.

[TheHowieLama]

 A decent coffee and a packet of sausages would have cost me more to cook myself.

 

Yeah but you could have burned both -- win, win

[Mook]

The MacSween microwave haggis is sound anyway, I quite happily stick it on a fry up in the house.

 

[Lee909]

Why bother microwaving it.

Fuck that cut it into slices and pan cook it in a few mins

[Mook]

Why bother microwaving it.

Fuck that cut it into slices and pan cook it in a few mins

 

You've answered your own question there.

 

Plus if I'm making a fry up, there isn't always room in the pans for everything so the odd thing goes in the oven/microwave.

[Oh Buoy]

Looks like someone took a shit on the plate. 

[Anny Road]

Agreed it needs lettuce.

[Stouffer]

I'm in a hotel tonight so if I can be bothered to get my lazy arse out of bed in the morning I'll take a photo.

[Jairzinho]

Four cups of coffee and that fry up and I'd be shitting through the eye of a needle before I'd even finished it.

[Nunavut Patrick]

In Northern Canada a man once asked for turkey bacon instead of real bacon.

 

He was pushed out into Hudson Bay in a canoe with no paddle.

[Anny Road]

Two coffees and two lattes from there probably has 1/2 the amount of coffee i put in one espresso.

[Jairzinho]

That's true, Anny.

 

I remember nursing a hangover in Italy when I was about 20 with two cappuccinos and an expresso. I was fucking hallucinating.

[TheBitch]

I stayed on a farm campsite in the Lakes last night, I was offered a full English breakfast for £5. As I was only up there for 1 night, I thought rather than take food up with me and cook it myself I would take them up on their generous offer of bacon, sausage, eggs, black pudding, beans and toast with a pot of tea.

 

Little did I know it would be 1 piece of bacon, 1 sausage, 1 egg, 1 slice of black pudding and 1 round of toast, I was just surprised there was more than 1 bean on the plate. The whole episode made me incredibly sad.

[Remmie]

I stayed on a farm campsite in the Lakes last night, I was offered a full English breakfast for £5. As I was only up there for 1 night, I thought rather than take food up with me and cook it myself I would take them up on their generous offer of bacon, sausage, eggs, black pudding, beans and toast with a pot of tea.

 

Little did I know it would be 1 piece of bacon, 1 sausage, 1 egg, 1 slice of black pudding and 1 round of toast, I was just surprised there was more than 1 bean on the plate. The whole episode made me incredibly sad.

Did you order 3 so you got a proper portion?

[Oh Buoy]

I stayed on a farm campsite in the Lakes last night, I was offered a full English breakfast for £5. As I was only up there for 1 night, I thought rather than take food up with me and cook it myself I would take them up on their generous offer of bacon, sausage, eggs, black pudding, beans and toast with a pot of tea.

 

Little did I know it would be 1 piece of bacon, 1 sausage, 1 egg, 1 slice of black pudding and 1 round of toast, I was just surprised there was more than 1 bean on the plate. The whole episode made me incredibly sad.

That's just insulting and not a single piece of rocket on the side.