Depression

[halewood pete]

It's a weird one depression, I find it hard to define. I've wondered if I have it as, although I never feel especially down, I never feel especially up either. I could win the lottery and the feeing of excitement would wear off after about 45 minutes. The last time I was truly buzzing was getting ready for a night out in Las Vegas four years ago. The time before that was 2007 when I got a decent job, the time before that was 2001 when I moved out of our old house and into a decent one in a relatively nice area. The times in between have had a 'going through the motions' feel about them.

Could it be that you are just a miserable bastard?

(only joking of course mate!best wishes for Christmas and new year)

[Teasmaid]

It's a weird one depression, I find it hard to define. I've wondered if I have it as, although I never feel especially down, I never feel especially up either. I could win the lottery and the feeing of excitement would wear off after about 45 minutes. The last time I was truly buzzing was getting ready for a night out in Las Vegas four years ago. The time before that was 2007 when I got a decent job, the time before that was 2001 when I moved out of our old house and into a decent one in a relatively nice area. The times in between have had a 'going through the motions' feel about them.

I know what you mean. I don't get really down at all, I just can't be arsed with anything. I can still have a laugh and a joke, I just lack the motivation to do anything. In fact, I was talking to a lad I used to work with a couple of weeks ago and he said "Fucking hell Liz, I hope you come back soon. The office is like a morgue without you around". It made me laugh at the irony that I'd left work with depression (they all think I left because of gynae problems) and yet none of them knew, and I was still the chirpiest bugger in there.

 

I had my first appointment with the psychologist a couple of weeks ago, and spoke about this, and how I'm not completely low. He said it's still depression. I've also been diagnosed with PTSD (which I already knew about), panic disorder, and generalised anxiety disorder (which is my main problem). He explained that the numbness (depression) is your body's way of keeping the anxiety in check, which makes sense.

[Major Tom]

I honestly never thought I'd rep you as a belligerent motherfucker, but kudos to yer for headspace. I've been following their meditation programme for about 4 months.

 

Helped me get a clear enough head for an Aspergers diagnosis, things have been onwards and upwards since.

Firstly, I don't give shit about rep, from you or anyone else. I respond to posts not posters.

 

Secondly, sticking to your guns in the face of opprobrium is not a fault. Despite what you or anyone on here may think.

 

Thirdly, I am genuinely pleased you have found some sort of peace. Headspace is brilliant, I agree.

 

Fourthly, Merry Christmas!

 

There is no fifthly.

[Section_31]

I know what you mean. I don't get really down at all, I just can't be arsed with anything. I can still have a laugh and a joke, I just lack the motivation to do anything. In fact, I was talking to a lad I used to work with a couple of weeks ago and he said "Fucking hell Liz, I hope you come back soon. The office is like a morgue without you around". It made me laugh at the irony that I'd left work with depression (they all think I left because of gynae problems) and yet none of them knew, and I was still the chirpiest bugger in there.

 

I had my first appointment with the psychologist a couple of weeks ago, and spoke about this, and how I'm not completely low. He said it's still depression. I've also been diagnosed with PTSD (which I already knew about), panic disorder, and generalised anxiety disorder (which is my main problem). He explained that the numbness (depression) is your body's way of keeping the anxiety in check, which makes sense.

 

Interesting read that Liz.

 

I've been seeing a counsellor, I've seen them in the past but never particularly found them helpful, but some charity connected with my job paid for it so thought I'd better show my face. I'd wondered if I had some kind of generalised anxiety, but she reckons I'm what's called a 'highly sensitive person'. I thought it sounded like bollocks until I read a bit about it and it sounds a lot like me, and possibly you too from what you've described.

 

Apparently although they're sociable they get overwhelmed by stuff because, in essence, they notice too much and think about things too deeply.

 

I've always been adapt at things like sussing people out, body language, being able to sniff bullshit (even second hand, with people I've not even met) and understand dynamics of groups, office politics, who fancies who etc. But I think the downside is it just wrecks my head and makes me worry too much.

 

Apparently such people aren't predisposed to anxiety, but if they have troubling childhood experiences it flips the switch and sets your nervous system to 'anxious', and I think to an extent I've always had that. I tend to be hyper aware, for instance in the cinema or a restaurant I'll be more nervous if there's a loud bunch of lads than most people would, but that seems to have died down a lot in recent months.

[Anny Road]

Totally get what Sec and Teasmaid are saying. I am often described as the life and soul of the party. I go around on a complete high. 100 MPH then everynow and again it is as if I burn out with the exhaustion of pretending to be so and collapse into a inward hell. I used to block this out with drink, but you can only do that for so long.

Cracking and honest posts from all.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Totally get what Sec and Teasmaid are saying. I am often described as the life and soul of the party. I go around on a complete high. 100 MPH then everynow and again it is as if I burn out with the exhaustion of pretending to be so and collapse into a inward hell. I used to block this out with drink, but you can only do that for so long.

Cracking and honest posts from all.

Yeah the drink will only mask it. It can help once in awhile, going out for a good session with friends, but eventually that type of therapy will catch up with you.

 

I have a dog, a big dumb loveable unconditional loving Chesapeake Lab who is quite frankly the most awesome dog who has ever lived in the history of canines.

 

The only problem with dogs is that you outlive them.

[Champ]

My need for order compelled me to bump this thread

[Total Longo]

Suicide and Depression threads on the same page*

 

Bring back Bill and his posts of scantily clad girls from 2002 to brighten the mood!! (anyone who posted around then will deffo remember that).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*i've contributed to both, tellingly.

[FanchesterCity]

Speaking of depression and scantily clad women...

 

Since I was adopted and having never really known my mother, I think that's affected me adversely.... I don't think I'll ever be able to fully enjoy a lap dance until I find out who she was.

[Hooch]

It's shit and it follows you round.

It can subside for 6 months or even more at a time but it always comes back, and you always know it will.

 

Good times.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Caused by fluoride.

[Sugar Ape]

Speaking of depression and scantily clad women...

 

Since I was adopted and having never really known my mother, I think that's affected me adversely.... I don't think I'll ever be able to fully enjoy a lap dance until I find out who she was.

You're doomed to wander the earth having lap dance after lap dance until you find your mother.

 

I envy you.

 

I mean pity.

 

No. I definitely mean envy.

[Rico1304]

Caused by fluoride.

I'm at my most miserable just after cleaning my teeth.

[Captain Turdseye]

You're doomed to wander the earth having lap dance after lap dance until you find your mother.

 

I envy you.

 

I mean pity.

 

No. I definitely mean envy.

The first night I met Bjornebye's ma I got a lap dance.

 

She was camped outside the titty bar when I left, offering blowjobs for loose change.

[Lario]

I've been walking around in a relative daze for near on 3 years. I hate being "soft", or "being all American and putting a label on everything", but I genuinely think I've some sort of condition, and it's purely down to my marriage.

I know some of ye have been in touch via PM for a chat, and I'm genuinely grateful. Things are such a mess now though that even if I tried to tell people, there'd be no structure to the story.

I've thought of packing the whole lot in to be no more, but I couldn't do it to my two lads.

I've spoken to a counsellor, and that helped while in that little bubble. But once outside and back in the real world, I'm back to square one.

I have to try keep busy to keep my mind off things, because if I ever have time to myself (right now, cutting the grass, hoovering the stairs, fucking anything!), my mind wanders back, and everything starts again.

 

I know I can be a pain in the hole, and as argumentative as fuck. But to my mind I'm a good dad and a good husband.

 

All I want is a bit of peace and my old life back.

[moof]

Lario have you tried smoking weed?

[Lario]

No dude. Would genuinely be worried that it'd lead to something else.

[Section_31]

Suicide and Depression threads on the same page*

 

Bring back Bill and his posts of scantily clad girls from 2002 to brighten the mood!! (anyone who posted around then will deffo remember that).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*i've contributed to both, tellingly.

Top thread on the ff is about Balotelli, top threads on the GF are about suicide and depression. Coincidence? I think not!

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I've been walking around in a relative daze for near on 3 years. I hate being "soft", or "being all American and putting a label on everything", but I genuinely think I've some sort of condition, and it's purely down to my marriage.

I know some of ye have been in touch via PM for a chat, and I'm genuinely grateful. Things are such a mess now though that even if I tried to tell people, there'd be no structure to the story.

I've thought of packing the whole lot in to be no more, but I couldn't do it to my two lads.

I've spoken to a counsellor, and that helped while in that little bubble. But once outside and back in the real world, I'm back to square one.

I have to try keep busy to keep my mind off things, because if I ever have time to myself (right now, cutting the grass, hoovering the stairs, fucking anything!), my mind wanders back, and everything starts again.

 

I know I can be a pain in the hole, and as argumentative as fuck. But to my mind I'm a good dad and a good husband.

 

All I want is a bit of peace and my old life back.

 

 

You should go to the doctor and get something, mate. Don't let yourself hit rock bottom before you're forced into it. It doesn't even have to be a permanent solution - it isn't for most people.

[Champ]

I've been walking around in a relative daze for near on 3 years. I hate being "soft", or "being all American and putting a label on everything", but I genuinely think I've some sort of condition, and it's purely down to my marriage.

I know some of ye have been in touch via PM for a chat, and I'm genuinely grateful. Things are such a mess now though that even if I tried to tell people, there'd be no structure to the story.

I've thought of packing the whole lot in to be no more, but I couldn't do it to my two lads.

I've spoken to a counsellor, and that helped while in that little bubble. But once outside and back in the real world, I'm back to square one.

I have to try keep busy to keep my mind off things, because if I ever have time to myself (right now, cutting the grass, hoovering the stairs, fucking anything!), my mind wanders back, and everything starts again.

 

I know I can be a pain in the hole, and as argumentative as fuck. But to my mind I'm a good dad and a good husband.

 

All I want is a bit of peace and my old life back.

How did you lose your 'old life'?

 

Does your missus know how you feel?

[Creator Supreme]

So I'm back to this thread again!!

 

I can't describe how low I'm feeling at present, it feels that no description will fit!

 

I know what it's down to! Money (I got paid today, a good wedge too yet I know I'm going to struggle to see the month out!), the time of year, the total lack of empathy by those who are supposedly in charge of things (ranging from work bosses to the government), and the general all round cuntishness of the human race!

 

I'm on treatment already and I'm taking my tablets daily like a good boy, but it's not making a positive difference anymore!

 

I've had enough!

 

I'm not looking for help or advice, I just needed a place to get it off my chest, as I think my wife and family have heard enough from me lately!

 

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to vent!

[Hades]

Hang in there. 'Festive' season is just another layer of bullshit you have to force a smile through until you can get back to surviving. Look after yourself. 

[Creator Supreme]

Cheers mate

[Champ]

Advice whether you requested it or not...

 

 

 

....get back to your doctor. No excuses accepted

[Creator Supreme]

I've talked it over with the wife this morning, I'll give myself until the middle of next week to start pulling myself out of this funk, and if I don't I'll speak to the quack :)