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Gnasher and Red Phoenix.

It will be like the good old bad old days. I wanted Hodgson sacked from the moment he was announced as manager.

Before I went away on Tuesday, the heating brokeded. Diagnosed the issue as the expansion vessel, ordered a replacement, got back Friday, compared and all was good - drained the whole system this morning, replaced the vessel, primed the system, ran up, cleared a pain in the arse air lock and we now have a fully operational deaths star of a central heating system. Oh yes. 1 nil me.

Vinegar Strokes

Work-rate. Incisiveness. Nous. I don't ask for much. This is how it's gonna be. Build from the ground up. So now we focus only on the league, not only needing to make sure that we take care of our business, but also hoping the other two contenders shit down their own leg at some point. All 3 have made a right bollock-up of their European quarter finals. Our failure was the disaster at home to Atalanta. City did not put Real Madrid to bed at the Emptyhad. Arsenal showed 'inexperience' against one of the weakest-looking Bayern sides in recent memory. The first is entirely on us. The second is another example of an Ancelotti side being on the ropes but getting the rub of the green at the crucial time. The last is just making excuses to justify yet another European campaign for Arsenal ending on a damp squib. Taking care of our business starts with making sure we take all the points at Fulham. We didn't manage to do that on the opening day of last season. Fulham had just returned to the top flight, and had also been shorn of one of their key players in the previous campaign when Fabio Carvalho joined us. That deal had basically been agreed the previous January, but Fulham couldn't get a replacement across the line so late in the transfer window so the Portuguese stayed put, and continued to look like a player that might really impress in the top flight. They still had Mitrovic up front though, and he had been a true goal machine in the Championship. He continued that form in this game, proving to be a real handful all match. He opened the scoring with a towering far post header having outjumped Trent, and got a second via the penalty spot after the softest of fouls by Virg. In between, Darwin got us an equaliser following a nice move, when Big Game James' pass around the corner got Mo into space down the right. His cross was met by Darwin at the near post with a 'trademark Usher finish' (his words, quite literally, as I'm certain he said as much in his match write-up!). Following Mitrovic's penalty, we were chasing an equaliser again, and found it late on when a ball over the top was contested by Mo and a defender. The defender could only flick it to Darwin who mis-controlled the ball perfectly for Mo to fire home the loose ball. Both sides had hit the woodwork in this game already, and we did so near the death when Hendo fired a 30-yarder onto the bar after Harvey played the ball out to him. 2-2 it finished. Dropping points to a newly-promoted team was not an ideal start to the season, and it wouldn't be until our 4th league game of the season that we would register a victory. Fulham are a difficult side to call. They can look awful and really be got at in some games, and in others they are a real handful. We've had 3 tough games against them already this season, and Craven Cottage is a ground Jurgen has yet to win at. It's not like the days under Rodgers and Kenny when the likes of Sturridge and Maxi were netting hat-tricks. Earlier in the season they were struggling to replace Mitrovic's goals (he'd take the mercenary route and grabbed the Saudi oil money), and players like Jimenez and Muniz weren't looking like the answer. Muniz has slowly settled in, and behind him they have players like Wilson, Willian and DeCordova-Reid who all have an eye for goal. What we badly need at the moment is a return of our ruthless streak, alongside the ability to create something from open play. We need our players to play with tempo, and when we get bodies forward and in numbers, we need to start making the right decisions and be precise and composed at the critical moment. Everyone that was available for the Atalanta game should be available for this one. I would seriously consider putting Mo on the bench, with the idea of using him when the Fulham defence begin to tire later on. In recent weeks, he hasn't been able to make much headway when up against defenders who still have enough gas in the tank. The penalties make his stats look OK but the eye test tells a different story. He's still more than capable of making a telling contribution. We just need to put him in when the conditions are right to make hay with what he can bring. We play this game after City and Arsenal have played their games so we'll either be playing catch-up or have the opportunity to make a real dent in their aspirations. The focus should be each game though, not the bigger picture. Maximum motivation, concentration, attitude and application from first minute to last. 3 points please. Get it done!

Excuse me while I wipe a tear from my eye having listened to the last bit of this episode in which the lads reflected on Klopp's European era. Beautiful sentiments from Chris and the perfect summation from Dave - It's been the most fun he, and many of us, have had watching Liverpool, ever. Shame John B had to ruin it all by banging on about the Nazis ;) In all seriousness, I was fortunate enough to be at most of the big European games under Klopp, home and away, and it's almost impossible to describe how special they were - Dortmund, City, Roma, Barcelona, Spurs in Madrid and even Kyiv; occasions that will live with me forever and which we should all be grateful for. Fans of practically every other club would kill for just one of those nights; we had loads, and the glorious memories will last long after the increasing pain of this season has passed. If, like the lads, I had to pick my favourite European goal under Klopp, it would probably be Divock's in Madrid. I was right behind the goal where he smashed the ball past Hugo Lloris and will never forget the feeling of knowing that we had definitely won a sixth European Cup. That I was surrounded by mates and celebrated with each and every one of them only added to the magic. The following morning it was back home via Alicante and I'm pretty sure I didn't stop smiling for the entire journey - and for the rest of that summer. Thank you Jurgen. It's been one hell of a ride. X

The Reds bowed out of Europe with barely a whimper. Technically they won on the night, but nobody was fooled by that as Atalanta out-thought and out-fought Klopp's side, who once again failed to muster a goal from open play. Chris Smith is joined by John Brennan and TLW Editor Dave Usher to briefly pick through the bones of this stinker before trying to lift the mood a little by reminiscing about some of our greatest European moments under Jurgen. View full article

Proud parent? Nervous more like. He’s done all the work. I just hope he gets his reward. So looking forward to cheering him on his way. Thank you to everyone who helped him smash his fundraising target.

I think I've made my feelings about Israel's current actions in the Gaza strip eminently clear in that thread. Just as you have made eminently clear in this thread your feelings regarding Putin's murder of tens of thousands of innocent Ukrainians.

He’s had many a sorry miss, Jackson. He’ll end up as a bit of an Outkast in the dressing room, if he’s not careful.

I'd be in hysterics.

Hedy Lamarr

Fuuullll..... Metuhll..... JA-ket....

It’s pretty hilarious how there’s never a 12.30pm Saturday game if Liverpool aren’t available. Then you look at next Saturday. I mean even the likes of Putin or Burlesconi made a token effort to disguise their corruption. Robert Mugabe went to all the effort of those pretend elections but TNT sport can’t be arsed faking it.

Sheffield United v Burnley is a relegation no-pointer.

Eton should be designated a terrorist organisation, it's alumni have done more harm the UK than any other you'd care to think of. The place should be outlawed and any superior fool who's ever set foot there should be forbidden from ever entering public office of any kind. Jail them, to be on the safe side.

Elmer Fudd Keyser Soze Shere Khan The Phatom Flan Flinger The Child Catcher Davros Warden Norton The Wicked Witch of the West The Borg Queen Max Cady(Cape Fear)

I dont want Amorim, I'm going to hate him from day one.

Fingers are pointed at the forwards missing chances and the defence conceding early (both true) but I think the problem in recent weeks has been the midfield. Endo and Macca look goosed, Dom’s form has fallen off a cliff, Curtis struggling to recover form, Harvey trying his best but not quite there yet, Grav looking more of a long-term project than a real prospect. We were ok first half but the energy levels just hit a wall and our only practical option was to hit it long which ought to be anathema to a team at our level.

Second half performance:

We dropped five points against United and Palace, both of whom are utter, utter shite. I really can't get too angry at Wolves not getting something against Arsenal.

You act like its an inevitability. We have a government filled with evil cunts refusing to do the right thing and gaslighting everyone for complaining about the cost of living. But the war in ukraine is at fault and they should be left to be slaughtered by animals.

I'd also settle for the red mancs getting beat 15-0

Don't worry and don't ask such questions Israel can bomb Palestinian kids at will whilst enjoying free healthcare. Who gives a fuck about the average Yank on the street.

I've only just left the hotel, I have a gig tonight & was scared of ending up in a pub & blowing it. I can't see me doing the train thing tbh.

I enjoyed that old footage of the Coventry FA cup win, couldn’t believe one of the coaching staff was smoking a pipe on the bench!

He's looking at doing it in 30 minutes and I reckon he'll do it.

Dr. Breen (Half-Life)

'Super smart'. No.

Brewer's Fayre, Southend on Sea. £10.99 all you can eat job, pretty much as expected. It filled a hole, one point deducted because the English bastards have no haggis option so 5/10.

So glad they're focusing on people with mental health issues. That's the real issue in this country people suffering anxiety and depression. What a set of twats these tories are

And news readers have their tails up as well. Burley isn’t taking any prisoners of late, Munchetty is dragging them all over the place and Today are openly hostile at times. Almost like they feel a change is coming and the can take out some of the frustrations they’ve had over the past fourteen years of these cunts… Only client journalist Kussenburg & Jo Coburn holding the fort on prime time, with various talking heads bulking out the loon quota.

I can't think for the life of me why we're done with them... These are just the big ones, theres loads more. I know it's only a small observation but twitter/comment sections etc are seeing far more swearing in them and I think it has moved from performative anger to a legitimate fury that these cunts are clinging on despite ruining the country.

Pepper needs an LFC rival with the familiarly condiment themed moniker of 'Salt Cellar.'

Alternative Top 10: Baby Jane Hudson (What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?) Bennett (Vernon Wells, Commando) Giant Haystacks Harry Lime (Orson Welles, The Third Man) Hendrick (Ian Cuthbertson, Children of the Stones) Ming the Merciless (Max von Sydow, Flash Gordon) Mitch Leary (John Malkovich, In the Line of Fire) The Penguin (Burgess Meredith, Batman) White Witch (The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) Zelda (Terrahawks)

He says the same about you, but the two of you are just going to have to find a way to work with each other.

Pepper is cooking something up.

In fairness to the advertisers, they did try to get a picture of Evertonian enjoying watching football, but they couldn't find a colour one.

Pork schnitzel from the fancy butchers in town, with potatoes bacon and leek (potatoes are undercooked in truth), peas and beetroot. Super

the midfield has only come together this season. we've had injuries in there. we've had a changing defence almost every single week. the forward line has been more stable, but even then jota and Mo have missed large parts of this season. it's been almost impossible for the team to gel. it's a miracle really how well we have done.

Ok, so we've been dumped out of the FA Cup and the UEFA Cup, and probably pissed away any chance of winning the league by drawing with United and losing to Palace, the players look utterly bereft of belief, confidence, and intelligence, and we're destroying the last few months of the reign of one of the greatest managers in the club's history, but on the plus side Xabi Alonso, who told us to get fucked, is doing well as manager in the Bundesliga.

You're probably the cunt who stepped on Paul's glasses.

Random I know, but WhatsApp have changed "online" status to "Online" and "typing" to "Typing". The capitalising of the first letter is freaking me out.

You're going a bit Gnasher here Rico. Go and watch Top Gun and have a slice of malt loaf.

I've read this twice to make sure, as I will stand no slander of Dolly. Brilliant sing writer and a incredible woman. What is Dolly Parton's book program? Each month, Dolly Parton's Imagination Library mails a high quality, age appropriate book to all registered children, addressed to them, at no cost to the child's family As of November 2023, Dolly's childhood literacy program has gifted over 224 million books to children across the U.S., Canada, the U.K., Australia, and the Republic of Ireland

Bacon, wedges and eggs ain’t a fucking breakfast.

Hannibal Lector and Anton Chigurh.

Sara Elgan. Welsh rugby presenter.