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Tell me, could you possibly be the same Liverpool Gladstone Trotter who, in 1992, fell down the cellar of Spartak Moscow, and received one hundred pounds compensation? I can’t remember that far back sir. Well, let’s try a more recent case then. Could you be the same Liverpool Gladstone Trotter who, in 1995, fell down the cellar of Brondby, and received a two hundred and twenty five pound out of court settlement? Me mind’s a blank! Maybe you were the same Liverpool Gladstone Trotter who, in 1997, fell down the cellar of Racing Strasbourg? How about Celta Vigo, or does Sporting Braga, ring a bell? Whilst we haven’t been more down holes than Tony Jacklin, boy have we made some huge fuck ups in the UEFA Cup/Europa League over the years. I actually researched the litany of exits listed above to make sure they were in the right order and it just made me shudder. And so, the cup match reporter returns for another outing – join me, Dan Thomas, as I try to pick apart the latest UEFA Cup/Europa League fiasco. I have been very dismissive of this competition over the course of the season, and I stand by everything I’ve said. The Europa League is laden with nothing teams as well as 5 or 6 really good ones. We have gotten to the quarter finals without even needing to go into first gear, we’ve been in neutral in fact. And the first time we’ve drawn a good team, we’ve got our arses handed to us on a silver platter. Assuming that is the last European action we see at Anfield under Klopp, it’s a grim way to end it. A really unfitting way for this glorious period to come to an end, drifting away into nothing. I have this down as being one of the worst performances during Jurgen’s time at the club. It’s definitely the most costly. Yes, I know it’s just five years since one of the greatest footballing miracles of all time when the mighty Barcelona were overwhelmed by a raucous Anfield. But this team is not that one – we will go to Bergamo next week, and we might win on the night. Will we go through? Not a chance for me – we simply aren’t playing well enough. Thursday night was a result in the post, a result that has been coming after a string of performances where we were just asking for it. Atalanta played the game perfectly – they contained us with ease after 20 minutes, quietened the crowd down from a quiet whisper to total silence and it’s comfortably their best result in European football. Fair play to them – they man marked us into nothing and got men forward when they had the ball. Gasperini is an experienced manager who knew exactly what he was going to set up to do and his team played it to perfection. They stitched us up a treat. Us on the other hand…. This would be a very brief match report if I used some suitable adjectives – and I have plenty in mind. However, let’s deep dive. Firstly, the atmosphere was dreadful. I wholeheartedly blame the owners for this. I think a second price rise in 12 months is crass, insensitive and reprehensible and has been communicated awfully. You’re already getting your two extra Champions League games next season – there’s your increase in revenue. Get in the sea. And anyone who is saying “it’s only £x” or “give me your ticket then” you can also get in the sea. The cost of living has not come down, bills haven’t come down, going to the match isn’t something we need to go up in price in addition to everything else. And to announce this after that scandalous United result and before a home quarter final. Some real thinking, that. Boneheads. The atmosphere was flat before the game and during it and it’s of no surprise. The club have to own that. I do also think there was some complacency from fans as well – it didn’t feel like a quarter final at any point. It frankly had the feel of a group game when you’ve already qualified with a game to spare. Flat, passionless, barely above a whisper for the majority of the game. We were just awful from start to finish. We were lucky to not go behind inside of three minutes when Kelleher made a great save with his face. I thought it was a foul on Elliott personally but it wouldn’t have been overturned had they scored. Kelleher did all he could – make himself as big as possible, use his body as a goalkeeping glove, and kept it out with his grid. It was another slow start, the same as the Sheffield United game when we could have been behind inside of 5 minutes. It is a pattern, it badly needs addressing, and we will not achieve the heights we can until this absolute plague has been cut right out. We did actually recover from that terrible start, apart from Kostas who had his worst game for the club – possibly the worst game of his entire career in fact. He was so bad he could have been substituted at half time twice – once to get brought on and once to get taken straight off. He was wretched. Again though, it was final ball and decision making that let us down. Gakpo, who I thought was our best player by a mile in the first half, was lively on that left hand side and he could have put Elliott in but didn’t get his head up. Now that I am thinking and looking back, we actually created a few chances at 0-0. Nunez went through and inexplicably stuck it wide. I haven’t seen it back (and I never will) but did he kick the ball onto his own foot or something? It went well, well wide and I was expecting a lovely little clip over the keeper into the net a la Brentford. And from that moment, we barely created a better chance. This is just who Darwin is unfortunately – you don’t know what you’re going to get and this match was one of those days where nothing went right. Elliott did hit the bar and post with a great effort cutting in from the right, really unlucky and it did start to feel like we were building up a head of steam. And then bam, behind. We lost possession far too easily, Atalanta countered quickly and Scamacca’s shot squirmed through Kelleher and in answer to the age old thing, yes “Alisson saves that.” The manner of the goal was frustrating as much as it was concerning – they cut through us way too easily. We nearly went further behind after Kelleher gave the ball away too easily but he atoned for it with a good save as the impressive Koopmeiers closed in on goal. We got to the break and the word “ragged” was being thrown around at half time as well as “disrespectful” and “arrogant.” The sentiment around me was that we should have gone full strength to try and finish the game off and then make changes. Whilst we rotated, I had the team that we put out as capable of winning the match. But we played so poorly the whole thing has spectacularly backfired. You could in theory have made 11 changes at half time. Well, 10, no situation can be saved by bringing Adrian on. As it turns out, it was Tsimikas, Jones and Elliott were the ones who were taken off. Tsimikas was the worst player on the pitch by a mile, Jones has not looked sharp since returning from injury and I think Elliott was a bit unlucky to be honest. But with Salah on the pitch we’ll make at least 5 or 6 chances for him to miss, right? Wrong! We did start the second half well and were pressing for an equaliser. We should have had it as well but Nunez lifted it over the bar. Again. Very frustrating because that puts us right back in it and Atalanta don’t have experience of Anfield on the up with the Reds pursuing a winner. I think we’d have rolled them over. We then got sucker punched. We weren’t building up a head of steam don’t get me wrong, but we were definitely on the front foot and then Atalanta broke down the right, De Ketelaere just stayed onside and swung an absolute peach of a ball across. All Scamacca had to do was guide it with his foot – Kelleher was flat footed and had no chance. Tidy finish, great ball in. 2-0 and getting towards famous European night in the second leg territory. It also caused all of the Atalanta fans in the Upper Kenny to celebrate and cause the usual trouble. I have no idea why that happens but it does in every European home game. It just ends with a load of stewards standing around their fans. But I digress. As that goal went in, Darwin went off. I have no idea if that was pre-planned or what, but bringing Nunez off when you need a goal is not what I’d be doing. As frustrating as his finishing can be, he looks like he is going to make something happen at all times. Diaz came on and played with plenty of endeavour but there was just nothing in and around him. It was such a flat performance we were lucky to end up with 0. Salah was unlucky though, his shot forced the keeper into a good save. We then had the ignominy of a Dejan Lovren moment. The SHOOOOOOOOT dickheads in the crowd got their way as the ball fell to Joe Gomez outside the box. Instead of trying to lift the ball back into the packed box, Gomez decided to blaze it into the Kop. Yet again, playing Joe Gomez’ Shooting Challenge. May I suggest a cross into the box? You have selected POWER DRIVE! Ball is in THE KOP. Would you like to play again? You have selected NO. That just summed the game up, it was a terrible decision when much better options were available. That’s the story of our last month really, since that FA Cup game. We are wasting chance after chance, or not creating a chance because of making a terrible decision. It’s going to kill us if we don’t sort it. Not that I am blaming Joe Gomez for that. I will blame the knobheads in the crowd shouting SHOOOOOOOOOOT though. At 2-0 down in the first leg, you’ve always got a chance. Given the absolute state of how we played, I’d have been happy to take 2-0 and get back to Bergamo still in the tie. It briefly looked like we’d go back at 2-1 but Salah just went too soon – and I don’t think he needed to. He did look just off as the ball went in and I spotted the flag right away – a long time before several people around me did. Jota came on with 15 minutes left and the first thing he did was win a free kick on the edge of the box. But the reality of the situation is that we were putting way too much expectation on someone coming back from months out injured. The fact he’s back for the run in is a bonus full stop as I was worried he was gone for the season. Atlanta should have scored a third before they did, with Koopmeiers firing a good chance across the goal and someone missed a great chance with a header. But it didn’t matter in the end, they were rewarded for the way they set up and the way they played with a third. Ederson (not the dipshit with the neck tattoo) was afforded way too much time to shoot, and Kelleher could only parry the ball into the path of Pasalic who gleefully tapped in. Game over. Tie over? Almost certainly. As the third went in, commence Operation Anfield Exodus. And I don’t blame anyone – but that is as big a mass exit as I’ve seen and as far as the performance goes it was well deserved. It was an absolute shambles – we had the chances for it to be 3-0 the other way but didn’t take them, we shipped a couple of awful goals and it is just a terrible way for Jurgen to sign off in European football at Anfield. You could not rule out us going out there pissed off, fired up and winning 5-0. We’ve done exactly that in the last 3 years. But for me, we’re not playing well enough, we have key players out of form at the exact wrong time and we will end up going out. Star man? The full time whistle. But our “best” player on the night was arguably Gakpo and that is up for discussion because he fell off a cliff second half. Team: Kelleher; Gomez, Konate, Van Dijk, Tsimikas (Robertson); Endo (Jota), Jones (Szoboszlai), Mac Allister; Elliott (Salah), Nunez (Diaz), Gakpo: View full article

Khamenei've a go if you think you're hard enough.

Wool.

The last game I went to I got talking to a nice lad from Malaysia in the row in front who was at his first game, but when I stood up to sing YNWA he recorded me for the whole version, which was a tad unnerving. I imagine I am now as big as Robbie Williams on Youtube in KL and would struggle to get out of the airport for fawning admirers.

Fucker to kill in Mortal Combat he was.

"ran into his space"

'Clough, Truss writes, “took over from Revie at the club in 1974. As dramatised in the film The Damned United, Clough tried to shake up the team and get them to play better … the players rebelled and Clough was sacked after just 44 days. “In the final days of my premiership, I had said to my private secretary, Nick Catsaras: ‘If the Conservative party bin me after six weeks and I’m the Brian Clough of prime ministers, then so be it.’ I lasted 49 days.”'

Little bit of bad squad management for me in EL this year. If Danns and Clarke were good enough to play against Chelsea in a cup final, they surely are ready to play some part against a 6th place Italian side. And a shit Mancs too. I felt Danns should have come on against the Mancs. Remember the Macheda cunt who scored that goal against Villa? I hope they play on Thursday. We cannot keep complaining about tiredness for players and then not play these talented kids in a (relatively) meaningless game.

Also I don’t really see why a club that can turnover £560m in a year where performance wasn’t spectacular needs to squeeze an extra £2.5m from their most loyal supporters. It’s a drop in the ocean and hardly seems worth the bad feeling it creates. As for people saying it’s only a 2% increase, ticket prices are 1400% higher than back in the early 90s. If season ticket prices had increased in line with inflation since then, a Kop season ticket would be around £200, and not the £700 plus they currently cost. But as the tv money slows down, they obviously feel the need to squeeze the fans again. This will only be the start.

Work-rate. Incisiveness. Nous. I don't ask for much. This is how it's gonna be. Build from the ground up. It's pretty hard to motivate myself to start a match thread after such a chastening evening for the team the night before. Can sort of imagine how Dave must feel when he has to write match reports and other content when you feel so dispirited. They do say though that the best way to get over a setback is to clear your head and get back on the bike. This game, like nearly all of our remaining league fixtures for however long we last in the Europa League, takes place on a Sunday. And boy oh boy do we need to get back on the bike. That said, last year's corresponding fixture saw us in similar form to this past week. It was also a microcosm of our malaise until the last couple of months of the season, as we were too easy to open up at the back. while lacking precision and ruthless efficiency up front. For all our possession football, we struggled to create real chances. Mo fired wide from inside the box, and Darwin was played in only to mishit his effort which bounced off the far post and stayed out. Then we got sucker-punched when Eze got between 2 of our players too easily on halfway and played a ball into Zaha's run. The Ivorian had stayed onside and had space and time to pick his spot, firing his effort into the far corner. The game's biggest talking point came in the second half when Darwin was goaded into retaliating by Palace defender Andersen, who duly hit the deck after being shot. Officials are like WWE refs in these situations, only looking at the retaliatory act rather than the cause. Actually, that's not quite an accurate comparison, and besides, I used to love Eddie Guerrero's shenanigans when the ref's back was turned or if he just so happened to have been 'accidentally' floored. Tierney was the ref, and Darwin was made to walk. His home debut was a dud and it's fair to say he's never really taken off after that. We did eventually get an equaliser, and what a goal it was too. Lucho picked up the ball in his customary left wing spot and dribbles his way through and around 3 or 4 weary Palace legs before hitting a rocket past the Palace keeper. We have seen similar goals from the likes of Sadio and Phil. Anyway, a point only as we continued our winless start to the season. Palace replaced Hodgson with Oliver Glasner a couple of months ago. I don't really know how he's got on as from what I can tell, Palace's general results have followed a familiar trajectory. I know Eze has been in and out with injury issues, and I think Olise is out long term. Whatever they've got, we can't allow them to show it. The crowd may get nervous and edgy if we don't start sharply, but my hope is that the players are so angered by what happened against the Mancs and Atalanta that they want to make every opponent pay for it. Starting with Palace. We've been getting players back from injury, but one or two that have played a lot recently are showing signs of mental fatigue. Those guys need a rest so the ones coming in are hopefully ready. Whoever is selected to start and be on the bench needs to be right up for the fight. I want ruthless efficiency and precision in attack, I want the midfield to dominate and I want the defence to be controlled and impenetrable. That requires maximum motivation, concentration, attitude and application from first minute to last. 3 points please. Get it done!

She's like a weird Big Brother contestant, who gets booted in week two for defecating in the hot tub, but still thinks she can swing at least a fitness DVD out of it all.

Other way round and thats a pen They'd claim it was inconclusive so go with onfield decision

The sport is dead in the water. What the fuck. All the handballs we've been denied over the last couple of seasons...

Big Ange's half time team talk ' maaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'

Aye, we want both Spurs and Villa to be needing points to qualify for European places so they’ll, hopefully, have a go against City and Arsenal. We know anyone will have a go against us.

I'd say good anything that keeps Villa competitive is better In my opinion

What a fucking horrible, lanky streak of piss the cunt really is. And to think I used to watch Lewis. Neg away please!

It’s just changed. I went for years from about 83-2006 and then dropped off when responsibilities came into my world like a mortgage and kids. I went for the first time Thursday, a mate of mine had a spare. The ground itself is spectacular and I’m glad we stayed there you can’t beat the walk up fountains road and through all the houses or going through Stanley Park. But the crowd were unrecognisable. I sat next to two Irish guys, both nice fellas with the thickest accent ever but the amount of people taking selfies, constantly photographing the game and from the far east was very noticeable. It’s just modern footy and how the big corporates want modern footy. Lots of first time visitors and customers in the shop and buying the experience. Gone are the days when you could rock up to Kop, get bounced around for 90 minutes and go the chippy on the way home, all for less than a fiver. The last great atmosphere I remember was the Man Utd 3-3 when it was still standing. It was bloody raw that night.

A few years old now, but possibly the funniest take down of a cunt of his ilk I've even seen online, especially given what Fox was talking about and who the response was from.

in the bluenose band

30 minutes even. Didn't even know he'd done this, it's just reletentless- great stuff.

…but here are my first tulips

Really pleased with this little Acer I planted.

I think it's the other way around. Iran is trying to pull others into a conflict with Israel, so it can strengthen its grip on Iraq and Syria.

I saw someone referring to Riley as Countdown Katie Hopkins earlier and that is how I shall now refer to her from hereon in.

I would not shed a single tear if Mandelson and Akehurst underwent extraordinary rendition to Venus.

I don't think there's any doubt we took the game at least a bit lightly. Because it's not the Champions League, because you have two legs, because it's not the priority. And if you play a team like Atalanta lightly, they can run you off the pitch. We're not plucky, but we're different to Arsenal and City. There is much more uncertainty in the way we play. If you watch all 3 teams, we're not the one that "looks" the best, the surest, the safest. That's the nice way to put it. But most of this season we've known how to win and then also the odd game we'd crush someone, like Newcastle at Anfield. I would 99% not expect us to win the last 7 games, but if that's what you expect, then of course you'll be disappointed.

Doesn’t change a thing, for me. If anything, it makes me hate him even more.

The Acer has enjoyed some sun this week!

He wasn't shit, he was a young player who got few opportunities.

The two shitshows at Old Trafford have limited any joy I can take in them being shite at the moment. It makes me feel worse about last Sunday.

In my defence it is my home town club and I've been to about 3 or 4 away games this season

Yes, poor Iran, minding their own business, not bothering anybody.

The alternative of us having the opportunity of resting players or even having a ten day break never works well under Klopp though, as much as he references and moans about excessive workload. We’re a team that needs momentum.

Theres nothing wrong with the size of the squad.

It was galling to see so called "supporters" leave before the end of the Atalanta game. I kept my stream on until the final whistle. #topred

Thanks for writing that, it must have been painful.

Lock up the medical team and pick the best 11 to win the game. And then do it again for 7-8 times. Like the old days Jurgen.

Too many glory supporters with too much money, they don't know how many choruses there are at the end of YNWA, let alone the words to Poor Scouser Tommy. I remember trudging back along the Anfield Road on a cold and wet November night, we'd just been beaten 2-0 at home by the mighty Derby County, Roy Evans was our boss back then and I was facing a 3 hour drive back home. I was thoroughly sick as fuck, and I couldn't help overhearing 3 other fans, all Scousers / local lads laughing and joking about what they hoped to be doing in town later that night. Right then it hit me, the barometer of measuring someone's commitment as a fan has nothing to do with geography, it is this: how much does it hurt you when you lose. I watched a YouTube video the other day of some fat American guy who'd saved up to come to England to come and see 5 Premiership games in 2 weeks, the finale and the highlight for him being his trip to Anfield to watch us beat Sheffield United last week. The lad claimed to be a Red, he said he'd been a Liverpool fan for years and this trip to Anfield was a pilgrimage for him. He had all the gear on, he knew all the words to YNWA (even if he did mumble and falter at the 2nd and final chorus), and even though I'd have found him an annoying gimp if I'd have been sat next to him that night, I still thought fair play to the lad, good on him. A couple of days later, his trip to the Man City game came up on my feed so out of curiosity is thought I'd take a look. Anyway, here's the same fat American guy, this time decked out head to toe in powder blue Man City paraphernalia, singing away to Blue Moon. What a cunt. He clearly doesn't get it. It's one thing to go to another team's match, possibly on a corporate freebie, but you do not wear another club's shirt and scarf, or sing their songs, or actively support them ffs. You can be sure that I let the fat American fool know this in the YouTube comments. And Nigel Spackman is a 2 faced hypocritical treacherous cunt who should never be employed by our club again, in any capacity.

Isawthe Crescent

He only got off because the cops were caught trying to frame a guilty man.

George Benson "On Broadway" Bob Seger "Mainstreet" Marc Cohn "Walking in Memphis" Beale Street

Just bought this Pretty good

Teabagging area obviously.

Looking at myself in the mirror mate, that's probably the correct call.