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I’m hearing that the Maddison to Newcastle deal is being held up by an unusual demand for a symmetrical leisure area outside his new home. I guess you could say this transfer depends on whether or not the new mansion contains Maddison’s square garden.

This pic from training was on one of my feeds the other day and this is all that I could think of...

It's about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty, and if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I'm going to call it "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down".

Thiago, Thiago running down the wing. He came from Italy originally, however his parents are Brazilian. Fascinatingly, he represents Spain at International level unlike his younger brother, Rafinha, who has represented Brazil. Where's your famous atmosphere, oo ar ya? oo ar ya? TEN JIRMUN BOMMERS, your support is facking shit. To the tune of "Wake Me Up" by Wham.

50% done today. Still knackered mind!

The worlds first perpetual motion picture.

I think Ten Hag is a bit of a prick. No real reason other than he joined man united and frankly that's enough to highlight what a fucking meff you are.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I’ve checked a second time and the database is still not bringing up any results for people in Wakefield named Blog Wanker”

To be honest I don't agree with a lot of folk saying it was a meaningless friendly. Both sides took it seriously and both managers did too. Guardiola is seriously fucked up in the head and this result will have been a kick in the bollocks. It also puts pressure on them from the out because Haaland had such a stinker, while the opposite is true for Nunez - and you could see his relief. We spat on their boots and looked them in the eye. They didn't look back.

Andor trailer. I loved Rogue One, definitely the best of the recent Star Wars output. Trying not to get too hyped up, but that trailer...

No mate. He's taking Clare.

on your own, naturally

Buddy Dog helping me to shake off the blues in Wellbeing Wood.

Hard to be cynical about that. A generation of young girls will grow up with the cherished memory of having seen their idols in the national team win a major tournament. Warms the heart. And it further cements Phil Neville's status as a failure, who stole a job in the women's game so he could cosplay as a manager, the slack-jawed fraud.

I bet his Nokia 32:10 was on charge in the corridor.

I agree. I probably would have looked for positives had we got beat but winning it was great. Their reaction at the end in not staying on the pitch to get their medals says how important it is and Pep will probably make some snidey comments in his press conference. Most importantly though in Darwin we may have a player that has the physicality, work rate and pace to not let their central defenders or holding midfielder rest. Personally feel if City have one slight weakness it's tempo. While they can knock it around at their pace they look wonderful but - and it maybe an anomaly - all of their big defeats (and Guardiolas) in league and CL seem to have come in 5-15 min bursts where the tempo goes up and they get really really rattled and lose composure. If Darwin can give us that again through the middle, knock them out of their stride and really get them on the back foot we could be rocking. Based on the way Ake tried to nobble him late in the game, I doubt their centre halfs are looking forward to playing him again anytime soon.

The front page of this forum is starting to look like Livescore.

I think that's the only game they ever look forward to. They get to do their Heysel shouts and when they get beat they find some innocuous decision to moan about for years.

Can they go bust soon. Thanks

Had an argument with the mother in law. According to her all these train drivers are on £80,000 and we shouldn't be giving them any more money. I said it wasn't just the drivers but other staff like track engineers, station operations, and maybe if normal workers have decided that their only course of action is strike then maybe we should believe them, and not the shareholders who are taking in £millions of profit. She doesn't even get the fucking train. She retired early on a nice early 2000s pension after coining it during the property boom. Tory. Also, I don't know how much train drivers earn, but considering they're responsible for the safety of thousands of people every day then maybe they deserve an appropriate wage.

Surely Ronaldo is a hologram being controlled be a committee of Liverpool fans. ’Okay lads, people are getting suspicious so let’s go out in a blaze of glory. Let’s put out an instagram post saying ‘The King Plays on Sunday’ for their upcoming meaningless friendly. Then ignore the new manager’s instructions and leave the game and the stadium early.’

The first thing I did after ‘ our girls ‘ win last night was trawl every PL club site to make sure they applauded the win. As you do.

Stickers on books that won't come off.

It's a bit disconcerting - almost like the meal is emerging from the Time Tunnel, or the hero in the Ipcress File is being branwashed by a revolving psychedelic plate spun by commie bastards. Yorkshire Red is clearly very disturbed.

The egg custard is a brilliant touch. Elevates the mundane to the sublime. Just needs a strong cup of tea to complete.

The only way to settle this is to sell him.

Be a big change for him, he's used to playing as part of a 7.

Agree with this. I do think there's probably more pressure on Haaland to be an instant fit - we can still put out a front three of Diaz, Jota/Bobby and Mo while we wait, whereas they seem a bit short without Haaland.

The meaning of "woke".

That Corn on the Cob is annoying me. It’s properly deformed and looks like the teeth of a meth head from Alabama. Your chicken is undercooked and so is the one and a half Roastie. Did you only have a thimble of gravy available? That is an abysmal roast dinner and even the attempt to hypnotise us with that plate can’t sway my opinion.

Where are people getting that his technique isn't great? I've watched him in three full games now, he's scored in every one and his technique looks superb to me.

Done nine days out of twenty for radiotherapy now. Knackered not because of the treatment but the travelling. Onwards and upwards.

Like how he comes deep and then just seems to amble back into the box unnoticed as the move develops.

That may be my favourite GF quote to date. I’m thinking of having it printed on a T shirt

I enjoyed it. It was by no means perfect, but there were things to admire. The best thing I can say for it really is that it doesn't diminish the films that came before it, and in some ways enhances them. I liked that it fixed some of the holes in the original trilogy; Vader says he killed Anakin, just as Obi-Wan told Luke, and you learn why Obi-Wan calls him Darth, and why Leia doesn't mention that she knows Obi-Wan in her hologram message, and why Vader abandons his obsessive search for Obi-Wan. It was good that the unfairly-maligned Hayden Christensen got to have another crack at playing Anakin, and that a few other actors who were criminally underused in the prequels got to flesh out their characters a bit. You get an appreciation for the lengths Owen and Beru went to to protect Luke, and it makes their demise in the original film that more tragic. Similarly, Alderaan is a lush, living planet, and its destruction actually means something now; it's not just a plot device. It would be easy to punch holes in the plot, there's always a few bits in these things that stretch credibility, but why would you do that unless you're determined not to like it in the first place. The writers' hands are tied by the fact that most of these characters need to survive another decade or so. We all know that it doesn't make sense for Obi-Wan not to kill Vader in his weakend state, but the narrative can't allow it. So yeah, It was fine. It passed some time pleasantly enough.

The interview would start something like this:- Graeme Norton: Welcome to one of Britain's best loved heart-throb actors... Simon (interrupting): Just before we start...do you know the best way to get blood off a green-room's carpet?

Come off it mate. Both World Class. Thiago is an absolutely sublime footballer.

Brechin Bad - The Movie

Anyone got YorkshireRed's address?

Posting a hilarious response and then realising someone beat me too it. That’s my week ruined already.

I totally agree with you about the similarities between Núñez and Haaland, Dave. However, it’s weird that whenever I read something about the two of them from national journalists, they all seem to be of the view that Darwin is a natural fit for us whereas Haaland is radically different for them. I suppose it makes sense in terms of the fact that we are used to having actual forwards upfront rather than midfielders, but I feel Núñez is going to be quite different in a tactical sense for us just as Haaland will be for them.

Aye, Carvalho looks the business. He also looks like the lovechild of Coutinho and Little Richard