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It almost felt like Chelsea’s trip to City on Saturday was the last throw of the dice for Chelsea and for us in the title race. If Chelsea could have won then game back on, but if they lost then they were definitely out of it and it would make our task look quite insurmountable too. And unfortunately, Chelsea did lose. And they barely went down with a whimper. I don’t usually watch City but this was one I felt I needed to tune in to. I switched off as soon as City scored because it was clear the way Chelsea were playing there was never going to be any way back if they conceded. And with Kepa in goal that was always likely. De Bruyne’s goal was quality but it wasn’t right in the corner and a better keeper saves it. Kepa took a step to his right and then couldn’t get back across. Mendy going to AFCON has fucked Chelsea over there. Well, spending a world record fee on a below average keeper is the thing that fucked them most, but I’m splitting hairs. I’m not going to waste any time even talking about City. Fuck them and their cheating ways. I’ll just focus on Chelsea because they’re one of the teams we are competing with and that we should measure ourselves up against. As I keep saying, if you’re up against Lance Armstrong in the Tour de France and you’re not on the roids, then you should measure yourself against the other clean cyclists rather than the doped up cheating cunt. Not that Chelsea are ‘clean’ exactly, but you know what I mean. Compared to City they’re sparkling white. They’re in a really bad run though and I thought they were pathetic in this game, which was actually there for the taking if they’d been braver. By that I don’t even mean throwing men forward. Just passing it forward occasionally would have helped. Fuck me, it was infuriating. I know Tuchel beat City a couple of times playing defensively but this was never going to get it done. Why pick Lukaku if you’re going to play like that? He isn’t blameless as he missed a great chance, but overall I felt sorry for him and I’ve done a complete 180 on the comments he made the other week that got him in trouble with Tuchel. Having watched him make countless runs in behind, pointing where he wanted the ball only to then have to stop and come back onside because no cunt would pass to him, I’m 100% on Lukaku’s side now. He could have destroyed City if his team-mates had actually passed to him. Honestly, I counted at least half a dozen times when Chelsea had the ball between the lines and City were in trouble. Their high line was there to be exploited with the ball into the space and Lukaku was constantly between the two centre backs pointing into the space where he wanted it. And almost every time they went sideways or backwards and let City reset. No fucking wonder he wants to be back at Inter. I don’t blame him at all, especially as he didn’t want to leave there in the first place. Why the fuck did Tuchel select that Ziyech turd? And why did he leave him on as long as he did? It was infuriating because that was a game Chelsea could have won, but they beat themselves in the end Their results have nosedived since they lost Chilwell and then James. You’d think they’d have the quality to cope with that and on paper they certainly have, but the results speak for themselves. They were flying and then they started spluttering. They were held at home by Brighton in midweek too, something we can of course relate to. If Brighton could turn their dominance into more goals they’d be pushing for the top four. They’re a better coached team than anyone outside the top three that’s for sure. Chelsea will eventually find their form again as they have too much quality not to, but they’ve gone from looking like serious title contenders to now looking like they’ll struggle to even compete for second. Third place is in no danger because everyone else is shite. Norwich had lost six games on the bounce and I don’t think they’d scored in any of them. Then along came Everton. The Canaries were 2-0 up in no time. That Ukranian they signed to replace Digne is weak as piss. He’s not going to last two minutes in this league, the skinny cunt. Even that Josh Sargent loser gave him the runaround. Michael Keane put through his own net to give Norwich the lead and then Idah added another one 90 seconds later. The travelling Blues unveiled their anti-Rafa banners and chants, while the man himself rubbed his hands together and laughed. No really, he did. Obviously he wasn’t laughing because they’re losing but given the way they feel about him it was always going to be taken that way and Everton twitter went ballistic. Rafa sent on Mina and Richarlison at half time and they made a difference. Richarlison’s overhead kick got them back in it but they couldn’t force an equaliser and were lucky Norwich didn’t rub further salt in their wounds when they hit the post with the last kick of the game. The Blues sacked Rafa the next day, which was clearly a panic move and wasn’t in their thoughts until this defeat. They let him sell their best player four days earlier and in his brief time at the club he’s seen off the head sports science fella, the director of football and their best player. Those are just the ones I know of, there’s probably more. He did what he does. He went in to a club, started all kinds of fires everywhere and tried to convince everyone he was the only one who could put those fires out. For a while Moshiri believed him even if the fans didn’t. Losing to Norwich was a bridge too far though and Moshiri finally decided enough was enough and now it’s Big Dunc in temporary charge again. There’s a lot of things I could write about this but it’ll be in the diary so I won’t do it here. The short version is Rafa should never have been hired in the first place, he can have no complaints about being sacked, but in the grand scheme of things he was nowhere near the top of any list of “what’s wrong with Everton?”. They’re incredibly shit but you have to wonder how much of that was down to the players wanting to get Rafa sacked. If they suddenly start performing for Ferguson (as they did previously) then it shows just what cunts they are. I’m hoping that it’s just a case of them being fucking shit and that it continues for the rest of the season. Could they go down? I doubt it, because they have a bit of a cushion between themselves and the bottom four, but if they don’t pick up points in the next three or four games then that would put them right in it. I’ve been pondering the question this week, would I accept Newcastle surviving if it meant Everton went down? I would, but it would be with a heavy heart. Not heavy for Everton, but heavy because I desperately want those Geordie fucks to go down. In a perfect world they’d both go. How funny was that United - Villa game by the way? I watched the FA Cup game a few days before and Villa fucking battered them but somehow lost. United are dreadful. They just rely entirely on luck, De Gea and the goal power they have from individuals throughout the forward line. They took the lead at Villa Park when Martinez made a dreadful error to let Fernandes’ speculative long ranger go through his legs. Villa were the better side after that but some of their defensive errors were Everton-like and they kept giving United chances. Eventually they paid the price when yet another slack pass ended with Fernandes scoring again to make it 2-0. It didn’t look good, but then on comes the little “scouse bastard” Brazilian and within ten minutes he had a goal and an assist and it was 2-2. He’s been gone FOUR YEARS!! Hasn’t that fucking flown by? I was genuinely shocked when I heard them say it was over four years since he last played in the Premier League. It’s scary how quickly time is passing now. The most relieved man in the stadium after Coutinho’s equaliser was Martinez, who dived into the crowd to celebrate. I decided I didn’t like him when he acted the twat in the penalty shoot out we had with Arsenal in the Charity Shield, but I warmed to him after what he did at Old Trafford with the Fernandes pen. I think he’s alright now, but I reserve the right to go back to hating him at any time of my choosing. Wolves have scored 17 goals in 20 games but they’re 8th in the table. Much like Brighton, if they could score more they’d be pushing for fourth. Wolves were awarded a penalty that was a fucking joke. The defender gets the ball, and then with his second movement he brings down the Wolves player. But he’s already knocked the ball through his legs and the Wolves player isn’t getting near it. That’s just never a pen in a million years but the VAR told the ref to go and look and then the replay they were showing was only the second action, after he’d already played the ball. Awful stuff, especially as Southampton were denied a much clearer one. Jiminez converted it to make it 1-0. Southampton rallied and piled on the pressure but poor finishing and great goalkeeping left them frustrated and that knob Coady made it 2-0 with a close range header. Probably been smelling himself all week after that. Ward-Prowse pulled one back with a free-kick that was special even by his high standards. Wow. That was fucking ace. I like him a lot, he’d fit in our team like an arse in a bucket. Micah Richards described it as “the Ronaldo technique”. Fuck off, Ronaldo is proper shit at free-kicks and is only ever allowed to take them because of who he is. I’d be genuinely stunned if his strike rate was better than one out of every hundred. Ward-Prowse has a better conversion rate on free-kicks than some players have on penalties. In an eventual end to the game Southampton hit the bar and then Traore blasted over the bar with the goal gaping. All of you doubters reading this will have been sharpening your knives wanting to have a go at me and Adama for that but he then ran clear and finished well to make it 3-1, so fuck y’all. I still say we should sign him at the right price. Newcastle failed to beat Watford at St James’ in what was a huge game for both sides. The point is decent for Watford as the one thing they couldn’t do was lose and let Newcastle make up three points on them. For a while it looked like that’s exactly what would happen though as Saint-Maximin robbed the full back and then showed great speed and skill to run through and score. Hilariously though, with a minute left, Joao Pedro levelled with a brilliant towering header to leave the home crowd devastated. Great stuff Watford, well played. Of all the teams in the relegation fight, they’re the ones I most want to get out of it. Norwich too, as that would be fucking hilarious if they somehow escaped. Hopefully they both do. Brighton and Palace was decent. Two well coached teams that I enjoy watching. Brighton were awarded a penalty when Will Hughes inexplicably tried to ‘bulldog’ Veltman on a corner. I suppose he figured he could do it because no-one ever gets punished on corners anymore. You can do whatever you like without the refs getting involved, but this was so obvious they decided they had to call it. Gross missed the penalty. Awful it was. You might even call it… gro…. shite. Maupay then thought he’d scored when he bundled in from close range, but the keeper had both hands on it and as we saw with that Schmeichel incident recently you can’t score if the keeper has his hand on the ball. VAR rightly told the ref to look and he disallowed it. Gallagher put Palace ahead with another well taken goal. Going to be interesting to see what happens with him at the end of the season. Brighton deservedly equalised through and Andersen own goal on 87 minutes after a brilliant turn and dangerous cut back by Maupay. Vieira said “If you come to a place like….” zzzzzzzz. Nope, sorry. I really tried. Onto Sunday now. West Ham lost at home to a bare bones Leeds side. Not good that if they have serious ambitions of top four. Harrison put the visitors ahead and West Ham probably should have been reduced to 10 men after a heavy challenge by Antonio. It wasn’t high, but it was reckless, dangerous, he was nowhere near the ball and he was out of control. He’s about 18 stone of pure muscle and if he’s launching himself with his full weight into a challenge like that, it has to be a red surely? Mike Dean though, so *shrugs*. Bowen equalised with his 4th goal in three games. A sharp header from a corner. Harrison chested in from on the goal-line to make it 2-1 but Fornals levelled early in the second half. You’d expect West Ham to go on and win at that point but they didn’t. Harrison completed his hat-trick and that was a lovely goal. Perfectly weighted through ball by Raphinha and a nice finish. Raphinha then hit the bar with a brilliant free-kick before teeing up Klich to make the game safe with a good finish. At least that’s what they thought. It was disallowed for offside because it hit a Leeds player on the line on its way in. Fucking hell, I mean technically that right be the wrong decision but morally it stinks. It could have been decisive too as West Ham had the ball in the net not long after but thankfully it was offside and didn’t count. I have no love for Leeds but if they’d been denied the points on a decision like that even I’d have been pissed off for them. Brilliant from Leeds to be fair. West Ham were shite on the day but that’s a big, big win for Leeds. Moyes said it was tired legs and pointed to the extra game they had to play in midweek against Norwich. He said they haven’t postponed any of their games and that the Premier League are getting it wrong. I’m agreeing with him far too much this season, it’s unsettling me. We’re being linked with Bowen again. As I’ve said before, good player, nice fit for how we play but he’s nowhere near clinical enough for me. I’m aware of the irony in me saying I’d sign Traore while at the same time criticising the end product of someone who is blowing him out of the water, but I’m not going to justify myself to you lot. The heart wants what the heart wants! Bowen’s numbers are improving and he’s scored, I think, eight or nine this season. That’s decent, especially considering he’s playing in a David Moyes team, but I still think his finishing is generally shite and he missed an absolute sitter at the end of this game when he chested over the bar instead of just heading it in. No idea what the fuck he was doing there. As I say though, he is a good little player but I don’t want him because -and this might be way off - he looks like he can only really play on the right and why would we want to sign someone like that unless Mo is leaving? If they think he can play right across the front three then ok, but if he’s Mo’s replacement then he’s on a hiding to nothing, especially with his current level of finishing. Onto midweek now. I mentioned Chelsea’s draw with Brighton but there were other fixtures too as teams try to catch up on postponed games. The mancs beat Brentford 3-1 despite getting absolutely fucking pummelled in the first half. They’re so shit these days that even the mild mannered Brentford boss was positively fucking fuming that they lost to this bunch of losers. His post-match interview was hilarious, he all but said “We twatted them, they’re shite. I can’t believe we lost to them losers”. Ronaldo had a titty lip after being subbed and it just feels like they have a different drama or controversy every week. They’re rivalling Everton when it comes to “spending half a billion quid to get worse”. Another manager who couldn’t believe his team lost was Brendan, who was 2-1 up against Spurs before conceding goals in the 95th and 97th minutes. I had no preference who won this, but this was funny as fuck. Some of the fan videos doing the rounds of it are hilarious, and given the way Leicester fans conducted themselves against us I’ll certainly allow myself a big chuckle at this. Brendan’s time there might be coming to an end soon you know. It’s got that feeling about it. I reckon Everton will hire him, just to keep trolling their own fans. God, imagine!