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  1. They need to completely disregard anything we do. If they want to move forward as a football club they need a mission statement with 5 bullet points of what they want to achieve over the next 5-10 years, genuine, realistic targets, and if they do that then they could actually get out of the rut they’re in. They won’t though, they’re completely consumed by everything we do and that’s what is holding them back more than anything. The stupid cunts are stuck in a perpetual hell though because of us. I genuinely hope they go broke, the spiteful, horrible pricks.
    12 points
  2. My time to shine. Been working in Motherwell and on the morning we were leaving I was feeling a little off but put it down to the Indian restaurant the night before that our clients had paid for in way of saying thanks for our work. My colleagues were all scoffing breakfast in the hotel but I left it, and as the final morning in the office wore on I could feel my stomach doing knots. Onto the train ride home and something is wrong, particularly around Carlisle and was visiting the toilet regularly to take a shit or trying to make myself vomit in a last ditch attempt to stop myself feeling so ill. By Preston I'm sweating profusely and annoyed by the gang of Cockneys who had been on the same journey who were now pissed and had party food on their tables, and the smell was knocking me sick. They were all suited and booted, and having those conversations that nobody wanted to hear, but they were screaming at each other so that people could be jealous of how fucking important they thought they were. Anyway, I'm getting off at Wigan to catch the connecting train to Lime Street so my work mates and I are all stood up with our bags and I tell a mate of mine to hold onto my stuff for me because I think I'm going to spew with the motion sickness being added to my I presume food poisoning. As I head towards the toilet I can feel the vomit rise from my stomach and shoot into my mouth, but heroically I manage to stop it from seeping out onto our aforementioned London friends and cover my mouth with my hands. My body decides to launch another gallon of spew from the depths of my stomach and it fucking goes everywhere, jetting from my mouth and between my fingers in a hose type fashion, spraying the Cockneys, their food, laptops, mobile phones and stops the 'bantz' dead. I just look at them, repeatedly saying sorry and being ushered away by a mate before I'm knocked out cold by two burly southerners. I jump off the train at the other end and my mate who's carrying my bag starts running towards me shouting, 'Look at their fucking faces!!!' and as I turn back towards the train there's a table of Londoner's staring at me in shock. I gave them a thumbs up to let them know I was okay. Spent the rest of the day in bed wishing I was dead.
    11 points
  3. So that’s that then. The end of the road. He’s no longer at the wheel. We had a good run though didn’t we? A lot longer run than anyone had a right to expect, not least Solskjaer himself. In years to come people will look back on this period, shake their heads and ask “how the fuck was he allowed to stay in that job for that long?” Because we all knew when he got the job he was shit. And even when they finished second last year, everyone still knew he was shit. They benefited more than anyone from empty stadiums. That away record they had was the biggest anomaly in football history behind us losing six home games in a row. Last season may count in the history books, but nothing that happened should be used as a barometer for anything meaningful. As soon as fans came back in United went back to being shit. Was anyone even surprised they lost at Watford? I remember talking with the lads before one of our home games about it weeks ago. Everyone in the media seemed to be concentrating on their upcoming games against us, Spurs, City, Chelsea and Arsenal and wondering if they would finish Solskjaer off. My point was that they’re so bad there was every chance they wouldn’t even beat Watford. Other than Norwich and maybe Newcastle, I feel like United should be worried about everyone. They managed to beat Spurs, but we twatted them and City could have too if they’d been arsed to get out of first gear. Chelsea will probably handle them with ease and I actually think Arsenal might…. actually no, I’m taking United in that one because Arsenal will always Arsenal. Watford away was a definite potential banana skin though as if you’re not on it they’ve got enough speed and skill up front to catch you cold. Just ask Everton. Watford had four United rejects in their side which made this even more of a slap in the face for the mancs. It’s not even like they were four lads who did alright for them and who just weren’t quite good enough. They were nowhere near United level. Not back then anyway. Now? Well the standards are not what they were, let’s put it that way. Craig Carthcart could not be worse than Harry Maguire currently. This was another train wreck display from slabhead, capped by a sending off so stupid and shit that even Granit Xhaka will have been watching MOTD, shaking his head and saying “fucking hell lad, that was a bit much”. It was a mad game all round though. The madness started when Watford were awarded a penalty. Even that was a weird incident. Bruno Fernandes miscued a volley and the ball went back towards his own goal. Josh King chased it and McTominay bundled him over because he was looking up at the ball and fell over, taking King down with him. The loose ball fell to Sarr who put it wide but Jon Moss gave the penalty. That little manc faced twat Cleverley was demanding a red card too which would have been fucking ridiculous even by Jon Moss standards. Sarr took the penalty and De Gea saved it, but a Watford player scored from the rebound. He had encroached though, which I think should have resulted in.. I don’t actually know. A free-kick from the spot he touched the ball maybe? I know that Watford shouldn’t have been allowed a retake, and the United players were rightly aggrieved that they were being punished because a Watford player had encroached. What they didn’t know was that one Wan-Bissaka had encroached as well, so because of that Sarr got another chance. And De Gea saved that one too. Crazy. Two fucking awful pens though. You’d think a let off like that would have inspired United to go on and take advantage of it. You’d think wrong. They got fucking battered in that first half. Watford didn’t allow their heads to drop and just kept piling forward creating chances. King scored from close range and then Sarr fired in a second from a tight angle. United got back in it when Sancho crossed and Ronaldo rose like a salmon and unselfishly (yes, you read that right) headed back across goal for substitute Van Der Beek to score. The tide had turned and an equaliser seemed to be coming. Then Harry Maguire happened. He got wrong side of Sarr and clumsily hauled him down on the edge of the box to get his first yellow card. Then he outdid himself with the second one, getting caught dribbling out from the back and lungeing in to foul Cleverley. It’s almost like he’s doing this shit deliberately. Even with ten men United were still threatening an equaliser but they then conceded twice in stoppage time as Pedro and Dennis (who was brilliant) rubbed salt in the wounds. The absolute state of De Gea on some of those goals though. The first was especially terrible. The second I could live with if that was my keeper but the third was pathetic and the fourth wasn’t good either. He’s shite now him. His interview afterwards was a disgrace too. “We don’t know what to do with the ball. We can’t defend. We’re conceding a lot of goals”. All true, but how about “I was fucking shite today and should have saved at least there of those goals. If I had done my job better we wouldn’t have lost”. Roy Keane is right about him. As shit as Solskjaer is, loads of them players have been hiding behind that. That’s why I thought it was interesting to see what happened at full time. Solskjaer went to the United end and seemed to be apologising and basically saying his farewells. Some fans were giving him shit and Fernandes wasn’t having it, shouting back at the fans and gesturing that it’s the players they should be blaming and not Solskjaer. Almost a week on and I’m still not sure what to make of it. My gut reaction is that it’s a stand up move and I want to say fair play to him, because the easy thing to do would have been to skulk away and let Solskjaer take the flak, or do an interview like De Gea which basically screamed “this manager doesn’t know what he’s doing”. It’s a brave move taking on the fans and I want to respect him for that. The problem is I can’t stand the little twat so I’m looking for a reason to not respect what he did. The best I can come up with is that if he’s so bothered about protecting Ole then he should have played better, but then isn’t that exactly what he was saying to the fans by taking responsibility for the bad performances? Compare Fernandes with that De Sea or that Pogba cunt for example. Or some of the others who have just bummed around being shite and letting Solksjaer take the brunt of it. I still hate Bruno Fernandes but he showed some backbone doing that, which is more than most of his team-mates have been doing. So they sacked him the next day and they had him do a farewell interview in which he cried. All about the hits on socials with that club. Fucking clownshow. Long may it continue. Chelsea had a good win at Leicester. Comfortable really. A bit disheartening as this was a game where you'd hope they might drop some points. Chilwell was getting dog’s abuse from the home crowd but almost rammed it right down their throats when he ran in behind and was denied by the crossbar. How come they hate him but still love Kante? Rudiger broke the deadlock with a header from a corner. Similar to the goal they scored at Anfield that one. Not really a great deal you can do to stop those other than obstruct the runner. Kante made it 2-0 with a lovely finish to cap a sweeping move. Leicester rallied in the second half after Rodgers made changes but they didn’t take their chances and Pulisic came off the bench to wrap it up. Chelsea followed it up by twitting Juve and a concerning thing for me is that their goals are coming from everywhere. The wing backs are outscoring the forwards, which would usually be a bit of a concern as you want your strikers amongst the goals, but it’s not like the forwards haven’t been scoring at all. Their goals are coming from all over the park which makes them difficult to deal with. Plus they hardly ever concede, so there is that too. They have lost Chilwell for the season with an ACL, but the just means more games for that Alonso twat who seems to score every time he plays anyway. Leicester aren’t in a good place at the moment though. Something isn’t quite clicking with them and this could be the start of things getting away from Brendan. He was linked strongly with the United job and I’d have loved that to happen as he’d be an absolute catastrophe there. Their fans would hate him in no time and his ego would be inflated so much it would need its own time zone. Shame it won’t happen. I’m calling this one now though. Leicester will sack Rodgers at the end of the season and they’ll appoint Graham Potter to replace him, because Potter is the coach that people think Rodgers is. Meanwhile, Not So Nice Guy Eddie was absent from his first game as Newcastle boss as he caught Covid just after taking it. Karma at it’s best there. It was a good game against Brentford but it ended honours even and Newcastle still haven’t won a game. Lascelles rose highest from an early corner to make it 1-0 but my boy Toney equalised within a minute. Good finish but that Darlow tit channeled his inner De Gea to let it squirm past him. Toney thought he’d made it 2-1 soon after but he was fractionally offside. It’s mad that he used to play for Newcastle as I have absolutely no memory of him being there. I know he only played a handful of games, but their strikers have been shit for years so you have to wonder how he didn’t get more of a chance there. They’d love him there now that’s for sure. Rico Henry stole in at the back post to give Brentford the lead, that Joelint On fella made it 2-2 but Lascelles then deflected a shot into his own net to restore Brentford’s lead. Saint Maximin salvaged a point with a fine equaliser and he went into the crowd to celebrate. As much as I can’t stand Newcastle, I really like that lad as he seems fucking sound. He put one on a plate for Joelinto ’N at the end with a sensational run and pass, but that hopeless dope fell over his own feet and the chance was gone. How much did they pay for him? Bet he ends up at Ajax and turn out to be boss, like that Haller fella who flopped at West Ham. You know how I always said Newcastle are the worst possible set of fans imaginable in this situation? Here’s the latest example of what I meant…. One of the best games of the weekend was Burnley v Palace. Can you believe that? It was a belter though. A six goal thriller. Benteke’s deflected shot gave Palace an early lead and he celebrated with that fucking shitty, lame, thigh slapping thing he does. I have a completely irrational hatred of it. File that one away with “spinning the decks”, the Gareth Bale “heart” thing and anything done by Jesse Lingard. Burnley levelled when Ben Mee got on the end of a Westwood corner. Palace have been bad at defending set-pieces for years now and Burnley are obviously a huge threat from them so this was no surprise. Another set-piece saw them make it 2-1 through Wood. That came just after Benteke wasted a chance to put Palace ahead, and the big striker then squandered another great chance immediately after. Palace kept creating for him though and Gallagher set him up for his second to make it 2-2. Cue the shit celebration again. Grrrrr. Palace went 3-2 up just before half time when Guehi fired him after a scramble from a corner. No more than Palace deserved as they were playing all of the football, but Burnley do have an ace up their sleeve these days in their summer signing Maxwell Cornet. He’s fucking boss. He equalised with a thumping volley and looks well on the way to achieving ‘my boy’ status. Burnley felt that Anderson should have been sent off for dragging down Wood. More often than not that would have been given as a foul and a sending off, but Wood definitely played for that. He got goal side and then just stopped running, initiated contact and collapsed in a heap. The defender couldn’t avoid making contact but there really wasn’t enough there to put him on the floor. As I say though, usually that gets given so I get why Dyche wasn’t happy. Maybe he should start encouraging players to stay on their feet instead of going down so easily all the time? Teams are so often a reflection of their manager’s personality but Palace are a definite exception. They’re vibrant, exciting, entertaining. And then Vieira comes out for his post match interview. He could put a glass eye to sleep that fella. His team is fun to watch though, which is the most important thing. There were Villa fans dressed as Harry Enfield Scousers as Stevie took charge of his first game. What the fuck is wrong with people? They weren’t taking the piss, they were enthusiastically applauding him so this was their way of, actually I don’t even know what it was…. presumably they thought they were showing support for him? There are much worse fans out there than Villa and there isn’t really any malice in anything they do, but they’re just really unfunny cunts who seem obsessed with being “banter kings”. Any time you hear someone talking about banter, or calling themselves “bantersaurus rex” or some shit, there’s at least a 50% chance they support Villa. They see themselves as Only Fools & Horses when in reality they’re about as funny as Casualty. They just make me cringe and they have done for as long as I can remember. They’re the type of fans that will sing about scousers nicking their stereos, but they’ll do it in the kind of self congratulatory way that suggests they think they’re the first ones to do it and that they’re being really funny. They aren’t funny. They’ve never been funny. They’re cringey, embarrassing fucking wankers and going to Steven Gerrard’s first game dressed as Harry Enfield characters might just be peak Villa. Brighton had the better of the first half but didn’t score. Villa improved after the break and a fine individual goal by Watkins put them ahead late on before Mings wrapped it up in the last minute. I wanted them to lose. It wasn’t a conscious decision, I hadn’t really thought about it either way but I had the radio on and when they went over for an update my natural, instinctive reaction was I was hoping Brighton had scored. It surprised me a little that I felt that way. I don’t want to root against Stevie, or at least I didn’t think I did, yet here we are. It isn’t my head making that decision, it’s my gut. You know what had completely passed me by until now? Norwich winning. I didn’t know about that until I just glanced at the table and saw they weren’t bottom. I genuinely thought I must have been looking at the wrong table as my brain was just attuned to them being bottom for the entire season. I hadn’t even considered the possibility they’d ever get off the foot of the table yet here they are, above Newcastle. Dean Smith is their new manager and he brought Gilmour and Cantwell back into the team. Considering they’re probably the two most talented players at the club it won’t have been a difficult decision for him. They fell behind early to a Che Adams goal. Good finish, weak defending. The Southampton fans were chanting at Smith “you’re getting sacked in the morning” and the commentator said “who says humour on the terraces is dead these days”. Me. I do. If this is what you’re calling humour then yeah it’s deader than Thatcher. If they’d been playing Watford then yeah, it’s a valid chant. Norwich aren’t trigger happy like that though so it’s a shit chant and not funny. I’m not even sure Villa fans would think that was funny. Ok, that’s clearly wrong as they’d definitely chant something that lame and then be patting themselves on the backs like they were Dave Chappelle. Wankers. The man formerly known as ‘my boy Pukki’ headed in the equaliser three minutes later. He just goes by Pukki now as I ditched him when they were relegated. Grant Hanley’s first top flight goal in 10 years won it for them late on, but that was some proper De Gea style shit from Alex McCarthy. Watch him turn into Lev Yashin this weekend though. Elsewhere, Wolves were good value for their win over West Ham. They dominated and created almost all of the chances in the game, but they only took one of them when Jimenez fired in from the edge of the box. West Ham did nothing, which is classic Moyes. A good result against us got him to third in the table and then he pisses all over himself because he doesn’t know how to handle any kind of relative success. He said before the game if the season ended now he’d be delighted and would crack open the champagne. That is why you fail. All the time. Onto Sunday and another defeat for Everton. They didn’t even lay a glove on City, it was fucking pathetic but it was also entirely predictable. Rafa is turning them into his Newcastle side. The big difference is he can’t use his minions to brainwash the fans via the media because those fans aren’t going to give him the benefit of any doubt. Everton are so shit now that Guardiola is actually picking teenagers, and that never happens. He’s looking at Everton like they’re a League Two opponent in a domestic cup. City were awarded a penalty when Sterling took a tumble as he ran into the box. VAR told Atwell to take another look because the replays didn’t show any contact. He had a look and changed his mind, much to the anger of Sterling. I actually think that may have been a foul but that it just wasn’t visible on the angles available. Sterling’s reaction was not that of a player who knew he’d dived and been found out, he genuinely seemed wronged by it. Maybe someone should sit him down and tell him the story of the boy who cried wolf. He got a goal soon after anyway when he latched onto a brilliant Cancelo pass. Good player that lad, he’s like a B&M Bargain Trent. Rodri made it 2-0 with a thunderbolt that would have been saved by a keeper with normal sized arms. Sterling then missed his obligatory sitter when he mis controlled three yards from goal. I say this all the time, but for a top player he does a great impression of a really terrible one at times. Bernardo Silva added a late third and based on the highlights I don’t think Everton touched the ball, let alone left their own half. They offered nothing, and Guardiola said “when one team does not want to play it’s difficult”. Not that difficult though, eh? The Blues are without Demerai Gary now for six weeks and he’s been their sole attacking threat all season so that’s huge for them. If we don’t absolutely fucking humiliate them next week I’ll be almost as pissed off as I would have been if we hadn’t beaten Arsenal. They’re fucking SHITE. Finally, Conte got his first win as Spurs boss after a second half comeback against Leeds. Spurs were turd in the first half and were booed off at half time. You don’t get that too often. A new manager usually means the crowd will be more patient and supportive but I’d imagine the booing was nothing to do with Conte and was more about how shit these players have been for most of the season. Leeds went there without Bamford and Raphinha but still led at the break through a Dan James goal. They played well but when you look at the two team sheets that shouldn’t be happening. Conte must have given them a rocket at half time before they were a different side afterwards. The pressure had been building and eventually Leeds cracked as Hojbjerg equalised and Region got the winner. Conte was going way overboard with his touchline antics, the little jack in the box prick. I’d forgotten how irritating he can be. He will definitely make Spurs better because he’s a good manager. What he won’t do is make Spurs a title contender because they’re just too far off that right now and there’s no quick fix. Their immediate goal should be to be better than Arsenal, which shouldn’t be that hard. Conor Coady was one of the guests on MOTD2 and I was initially going to just fast forward when he’s on because he does my head in. In fairness, I thought his analysis on how Leeds play was decent. Probably best get used to him being on TV as he’s almost certainly going down that route when he’s finished playing as he’s pretty good and he’s comfortably in front of the cameras, although when you’re as full of yourself as he is then that’s to be expected. His take on Kane was interesting too. “When he speaks you really listen. When he speaks your ears prick up and you try to listen to what he’s saying”. Yeah, because no-one can understand the slobbering get.
    9 points
  4. Yep, that’ll do. All things considered that went as well as we could have hoped for. A comfortable enough win, another goal for Mo, a clean sheet, some run outs for players who needed game time and a quietly impressive first CL start for Tyler Morton. We also picked up a big wedge of prize money too, which means nothing to us as fans but will please the Boston bean counters. Klopp made changes but went stronger than many expected. Most of the side made perfect sense, but Joel, Sadio and Mo all started and Alisson was in goal. Somewhat risky but the lack of alternatives probably forced his hand somewhat. Not so much with Alisson. That’s one where you could choose to give Kelleher a run out if you want (and he might play in Milan) but it’s not like you need to ‘rest’ your keeper. I’d have been good either way on that. Matip only played because Gomez was out. Nat Phillips was an option but Klopp probably wanted to see Konate playing with Matip, as that hasn’t happened yet as far as I can recall. What that means for the weekend remains to be seen, as playing Joel three times in a week is definitely a gamble. Maybe Konate will play against Southampton and then Joel comes back for the derby? That seems to the most logical scenario to me The choices up front will have raised the most eyebrows. Sadio and Mo both starting in a dead rubber? It seems needlessly risky but I don’t really think there was much alternative. Yeah, Divock was available but was he fit to play a full game? He’s been injured, ill, and hasn’t trained much for the past week so maybe he wasn’t up to starting? He only came on pretty late so maybe there’s a reason for that? I’m always a bit uneasy about the big names playing in games when they aren’t really needed but I find it hard to be critical of this selection because I look at the bench and I didn’t really want any of them starting (other than Big Nat and Divock). It’s easy to say “just play the kids” and I have done, but Klopp isn’t going to send them out there against top level European opposition as that can do more harm than good. The way to help them along is play them with senior players, as he did with the inclusion of Tyler Morton. He was really good too. He did absolutely nothing flashy or memorable, but that in itself is a compliment as that isn’t the job of a number six in this team. He kept the ball moving, made himself available, just generally played with a real maturity. He’s fucking good isn’t he? He’s got something about him. Very calm, never looks nervous. Actually that’s something that applies to all of these kids who get an opportunity. Neco might be an exception because he had a spell where he looked nervy and lacking confidence, but it wasn’t when he first got in the side. He started brilliantly and looked right at home, it was only when he suffered a slight dip in form he began to look a bit nervous. He looks like he’s over that now though. The point I’m making is that all of these kids who are being brought into the team seem to not show any nerves. I always think back to Rhys Williams last season. He came from fucking nowhere. He was on loan in non-league, then he comes back here for pre-season and within weeks he was playing in the first team. And he looked calm as fuck. Even if he made a mistake, it never seemed to ruffle him. Morton is the same, only we haven’t seen him make any mistakes yet. I don’t think he’s given the ball away in any game he’s played. Thiago had some really nice things to say about him too, and it must be absolutely fucking wild for Morton to suddenly be where he is. He didn’t have any real hype about him, nobody really spoke about him much at u18 or u23 level. He was good, but didn’t stand out as someone who would be involved with the first team so soon. But now he’s training every day with some of the best players in the world and he’s getting advice from them. He probably can’t believe it. He had a first hand view of a Thiago masterclass in this game, capped by an astonishing goal early in the second half. That finally broke the deadlock but there were plenty of chances for both teams in the first half. Porto were so wasteful in that first half that it was obvious we were going to win the game. You can’t miss chances like that against us and expect to still win. It wasn’t even like they were doing much to create the chances either. It’s something we see quite a bit. Most chances created against us come when we give the ball away cheaply and we have loads of players upfield. The nature of our play means we’ll commit players high up the pitch, but if someone then does something daft it causes a problem because we don’t have the players back. One of those chances Porto had came because Konate gave it away cheaply. Diaz raced clear and squared it across for Otavio but he fluffed his shot and put it wide of the empty net. Kostas had made a challenge and may have caught him after the shot. Otavio made a massive meal of it wanting a penalty but VAR wasn’t interested. Big let off though. And we had another soon after when Terani was played in by Otavio and for some reason refused to shoot. He cut it back blindly and Morton was there to clear. It looked like we’d taken the lead when Thiago picked out the run of Mané and he finished easily. I’ve watched it a few times and it’s not offside for me. It’s one of those that without lines is clearly on. His feet are definitely on but when they put those lines on they made it look like he’s almost half a yard off, which he defo wasn’t. The line was drawn from the shoulder but it didn’t look accurate to all. Just a strange one really, as we’ve had goals allowed in this competition that looked more offside than this one. We weren’t particularly good in the first half but I never felt concerned about the result. Possibly because it didn’t matter, but more than that I just saw enough from us to think we’d step it up slightly and that would be enough. We gave away too many chances before the break but I knew that would be tightened up after half time and that we’d more than likely score at the other end. Konate was ropey as fuck in the first half but was fine in the second. It might be a bit of rustiness as he’s not in any sort of rhythm, but he was beaten a few times (he did sometimes get back to make amends) and he picked up a stupid booking too. That was weird as he was in position to just come across and play the ball, but seemed to deliberately slow down just so he could flatten the Porto player. Kostas had one or two scruffy moments defensively as well, but the other side of the pitch was generally rock solid with Joel and Neco holding down the fort well. The second half was just routine really. We scored two, could have had more and rarely looked in any trouble at the other end. Thiago’s goal is one of the most incredible things I’ve seen in a long time. I say that because it’s only just become apparent to me that the ball didn’t bounce off the turf. The first dozen or so times I watched it I thought it had. It certainly looks like it does, but when you look really closely it doesn’t bounce. It may brush the turf really lightly but I’m not even sire it does that. It’s on its way towards the ground and then incredibly it just seems to lift off on its own due to the spin on the ball. I don’t know how it’s possible for the ball to move like that. It might be the best struck ball at Anfield since Babb crashed into the goalpost. Klopp shuffled his pack well and made sure the players who needed minutes got them. Robbo came on and looked sensational. He may as well have had a megaphone with him because everything about him was screaming “oh some of you cunts don’t think I’m still the best left back at the club? Get it right up ye!” He was fucking turbocharged. Can’t wait to see how he plays on Saturday. Hendo on the other hand, that was pretty funny. It was almost like he just took the opportunity to try everything he normally wouldn’t try in a proper game. He was all flicks and back heels and blind passes around the corner. The first couple came off and he got a bit carried away. He seemed to give it away constantly after that and if it had been anyone else he’d have been screaming himself hoarse! He did set up the second goal though. Lovely goal it was too. Ball over the top from Morton, strength and skill from Mo, clever return pass from Hendo and then an exquisite shimmy and finish by Mo. Just absolute quality and that killed the game. Milner and Origi immediately replaced Salah and Mané, with Milner actually playing the false nine. With a few minutes left he picked up the most stupid booking imaginable when he didn’t retreat from a free-kick. That booking means he misses the Milan game. That’s a game he’d probably have started so him missing it seemed like a blow, but the bigger story was Milner doing something unprofessional for the first time in his entire career. Or did he? I thought bookings were wiped out after the group stages but apparently they carry over into the last 16. So if Milner hadn’t been booked here, he was running the risk of missing a knockout stage game if he picked up a booking in Milan or in the first leg of the last 16 game. So the obvious conclusion to draw here is it was deliberate. Sneaky fucker. That’s obviously what Klopp was talking to him with at full time when he pulled the snood over his mouth to say something to him. Whatever he said, Milner found it funny. He also managed to get in a trademark Milner Champions League challenge too, when he flattened the Porto coach’s son with a robust but perfectly fair challenge. Of course the lad rolled around for five minutes because that’s what they do. The Porto players were doing it all night, irrespective of the score. Why waste time when you’re losing? They can’t help it. If that’s how you approach football matches week in week out, it’s hard to just flick the off switch and stop. It must have happened half a dozen times at least, with that Otavio being the biggest culprit. He’d get nudged in the back and go down holding his chest like he was having a heart attack. What a tit. Maybe he should work on his finishing instead of his playacting? I was getting some ‘Poundland Simeone’ vibes from Conceicao. All that angry bouncing around on the touchline and his players milking every bit of contact… all a bit too Simeone for my liking. Mind you, I’d have been bouncing around angrily too witnessing that level of ineptitude in the final third. Porto had some golden opportunities to score when the game was goalless but they blew them big time. Now they need to beat Atletico to qualify, but even that won’t be enough if Milan beat us. We have the chance to become the first English club to win all six group games and by doing that, we’d knock AC Milan out and send either Porto or Atletico through. Now, if you can guarantee me that Porto won’t lose to Atletico then I’m all in on us getting six wins in a row. You know how I love us setting records (I’m still upset at us not getting 100 points) but I’ll happily sacrifice that if it means dumping Simeone and his snarling band of shithouses out on their snide arses. Star man is Thiago. He was just a level above everybody else in the time he was on the field. He always gives off that vibe anyway but this time his performance matched the swagger and he was just different class even without the goal. Special mention for Neco as well who put in a solid shift up and down that right flank. Very tenacious and defended well. He’ll have more productive games offensively but we know he can do that anyway. The big progression we need to see from him is defensively and this was encouraging I think. To steal a phrase from Klopp he’s “in a good moment” and long may it continue. Team: Alisson; Williams, Matip, Konate, Tsimikas (Robertson); Morton, Oxlade-Chamberlain (Henderson), Thiago (Fabinho); Salah (Milner), Minamino, Mané (Origi):
    8 points
  5. Fell asleep on the train pissed and was woken by some teenager taking photo's of me to send to his mates no doubt. Demanded his phone off him and told him I'd kick the shit out of him. I was roundly boo'd by fellow passengers and told them all to fuck off before pin balling my way off the train. At the wrong stop.
    8 points
  6. Not a fry up but my breakfast today cost £1.65. Duck noodle soup. That's a mug of green tea which you get given as soon as you sit down
    7 points
  7. Quite an exquisite dresser as well. Fergie will need to up the security on his stables though.
    5 points
  8. Fish taco from last night (before and after). Fish is Orange Roughy from NZ. Haven't seen it on these shores for 25 years ! It was fished to almost extinction, but it was such a great mild flavourful fish. Worked well deep fried in tacos. Made a coleslaw with pickled jalapenos, pickled onions and cilantro. Deep fried some onion rings and leek rings, which I like more. We do have a local mexican market that makes fresh tortillas, but they were closed due to floods, so bought some large chili lime tortillas instead. There was also some bottled spicy cilantro lime sauce for the tacos. Disfrutar !
    5 points
  9. Knight takes Queen Willard.
    4 points
  10. 4 points
  11. I once got attacked by a buzzard in a field and it was truly terrifying. I was reading my map trying to work out where my exit point was and looking towards the corners of the field to see if I could see a stile when I heard and felt this incredible WHOOSH inches from my ear, I looked up and less than 2m from my head was a set of talons on a fuck off big buzzard just hanging above me. I. Fucking. Shit. But also did what any sane man in that position would do, I reached for my phone to try and get some photo evidence of this random attack and the big bastard fucked off, anyway I then slowly started walking off and was texting my mate about the attack when the sneaky, horrible, vicious, winged bastard sneaked up on me from behind and did exactly the same thing. The hairs on the back of my neck were on end and it was genuinely scary. I fucked my phone off then and got on my toes and the whole rest of the day I was on pins constantly looking round for a stealthy buzzard on the prowl. Buzzards. Cunts. My grandad told me he got knocked over by a buzzard once, he’s known for tall stories though, but my nan confirmed it as true.
    4 points
  12. I have a lot of time for Ox. That injury was as bad as it gets, he was at the peak of his powers and his stock was at his highest when it happened. Lest we forget it was Gini who came on for him in that Roma game, who never really looked back from that moment. He’s shown glimpses this season of the player that was, defensively and pressing has been excellent his speed and explosiveness looks just as good. I always feels he’s on the brink of doing something brilliant, there’s a bit of magic in him. I still feel he has a role to play.
    4 points
  13. First sick day in over five years today (had the Moderna booster and it’s absolutely floored me) so I’ve started this. It’s proper music nerd telly. Love it. Good distraction from feeling like shit.
    4 points
  14. When I was a youth football manager we had to do loads of courses, one of which was basic first aid. There was a dummy to practice giving the kiss of life to, we all had to take a turn in front of the group. One bloke knelt down, put his mouth to the dummy's mouth then put his hand on its groin area and started rubbing. We all watched in shock and he stopped, looked around red faced and said "sorry, force of habit"
    4 points
  15. No, but... I was out picking berries first of September, minding my own business, when I heard a stick break. I stand up to take a look, face to face with a three-hundred pound black bear at about ten yards. I went "WOOOOOOOOOOAH" and that thing took off like a lightning bolt. I've never seen anything move that fast in the bush. Thankfully at 90 degrees to me. It moved so fast I didn't have time to get scared, I didn't even get an adrenaline rush. Boom, gone. I did have a knife in my pocket, but of course no time to think about getting it out. I suspect though that even if I'd've had a knife in each hand, if it had come at me the answer to the question would have been Bear-1 Monkey-0.
    4 points
  16. Got a job as a DJ in a local club , the 2 djs had walked out on a Saturday night leaving the bouncers playing the music we go there and they are making a pig's ear of it so I tell my mate ' Christ I could do better than them ' so up he goes to the booth and tells them I'm a Hospital DJ to be fair a mate from school Dad was a proper Mobile dj and I'd knocked around with him quite a bit so knew the basics . So within 10 minutes I'm rattling off playing the music and basically deafening everyone but I kept the job for a few months afterwards.
    3 points
  17. You're looking at Mr Majorca 1982. I was three at the time and won a toy fire engine. Bitches were all over me.
    3 points
  18. Not forgetting your good self too. Happy birthday all.
    3 points
  19. Took mine for his first proper off the lead walk today. He didn't bugger off, came back when called, and even ignored a dog growling at him. Sunny day too, couldn't ask for more.
    3 points
  20. "You don't annoy me anymore" from George to Paul was a belter. It's a genuine double whammy of a put down that.
    3 points
  21. Takes from the first episode... George - astoundingly surly and clearly doesn't want to be there. However chooses an odd moment to walk out, given the passive/aggressive discussions with Paul earlier on. Paul - the only one who appears to have any motivation to push things in any kind of direction. I feel for him. John - Absolutely wasted throughout and his legendary acid tongue is nowhere to be seen. Seems content enough to go with the majority, completely at odds with the expected persona. Ringo - A hell of a lot sharper than i have ever given him credit for. The odd thing for me was the way the other three discussed Harrison leaving so matter of factly, almost uncaringly. "if he's not back in three days, we'll get Clapton in". It did sag a bit in the middle, i nodded off and went back to watch the 20 minutes i'd missed, turns out i hadn't really missed that much. Linda Eastman is a lot better looking than i recall, as is Maureen Starkey. Mal Evans is the archetypal "big galoot" 16 takes (or at least that is what it seemed like) of Don't Let Me down is a bit much for even the most ardent Beatle-head. The genesis of Get Back is quite brilliant. It was brilliant to see them (George apart) having so much fun just jamming. How good would it have been to see them play that amphitheatre in Tripoli?
    3 points
  22. 1) Beat the shite 2) They’re fuckin horrible lad 3) Crowd fund for new blue light bulbs on the Liver building 4) Booooooooo 5) How many’s that now?
    3 points
  23. Friends around tonight. Steak, mushroom and onion in gravy with pastry top. Homemade mushy peas and actifry chips. Followed by Victoria sponge. We love Turkish food nights.
    3 points
  24. Joan Severance. Involved in one of my favourite film comedy lines of all time in See No Evil, Hear No Evil: Joan - “Any last requests?” Richard Pryor - “I suppose a fuck is out of the question?”
    3 points
  25. I've seen the headlines reporting this and they're bad enough. I can't read stuff like this as I find it too upsetting, but I know enough to say that little lad suffered a life of misery. No child should ever be heard crying and saying no one loves me. It absolutely broke my heart reading that headline today. I had 3 of my Grandkids visit after school this afternoon, the middle one a very affectionate 5 year old boy. He was sat on the arm of my chair snuggling in like he always does as I saw that headline on my tablet and all I could think was how could they, there is nothing more precious than children. No punishment is severe enough for them. I hope they suffer for the rest of their lives. Bless that little boy, and may be rest in the peace he never knew in life.
    3 points
  26. A third home game in a week then. Southampton are the visitors on Saturday, fresh off being beaten at rock-bottom Norwich last weekend. What do we need? Power. Invention. Surefootedness. Shooting boots. Organisation. Fortitude. Freshness. Tenacity. Intelligence. Serenity. Style. I don’t ask for much. Last season’s game in May finished 2-0 to the Reds but we rode our luck a little bit. Defensive sloppiness presented Southampton with a handful of really good opportunities. We were OK at the other end though. Sadio contorted himself to get on the end of Mo’s cross to the far post, and Thiago opened his Liverpool account late on by drilling a shot low into the corner from the edge of the area. We had a better time of it in September 1982. We were reigning champions and it was the start of Sir Bob’s swansong at the end of an illustrious managerial career. We’d go on to retain both the league and the League Cup that season, and this early game against a now Keegan-less Southampton set an early marker. Whelan and Lawro each got 2 - his second a cracker - and Souey belted in another from long range past Shilton in a rampant 5-0 demolition at Anfield. They were a year or two away from being a really good side in their own right, but Southampton were still miles behind Liverpool’s dominant level. The big box office draw was part of a franchise. Back in the early 80s, franchises were still a reasonably rare sight. Star Wars, Rocky and Indiana Jones were the most obvious examples but other than that, they were the preserve of the horror genre. Amityville II: The Possession was what all the kids were going to see. In fact, the film is actually a prequel to The Amityville Horror. That was a reasonably good film based on real life events. This one is a shower of shit purely aimed at cashing in on continued interest in the whole Amityville media circus. If I’m making it sound like dogshit, that’s because it is. Swerve. Hasenhuttl’s team have been a strange bunch ever since he took over. Inconsistency is the norm for the Saints but under the Austrian, Southampton have had some wild peaks and troughs. They could go on runs where they looked like a side that could challenge for a European place one week, and the next get webbed all over the gaff by the likes of Leicester. Whatever challenge they present, Jurgen and the lads just need to focus on the game on its own merits, give it the right application and concentration, and get the job done. They know they can do it. We know they can do it. They just need to show why that’s the case, and not serve up dogshit.
    2 points
  27. 2 points
  28. Thanks D', 26th of November is a big day for the GF.
    2 points
  29. They were more useful that my defence. Some lad spewing up on the pitch, then deciding to lie down, playing everyone onside for about 4 of their goals.
    2 points
  30. Not possible, football was only invented in 1992
    2 points
  31. 2 points
  32. Peace & love, you beautiful meffs.
    2 points
  33. I would have agreed a few weeks ago but happily I think I was wrong and he is really growing into his role in the team again. When Dave said in one of his match reports it feels like something big is coming from him, I was doubtful but now I’m fully on board the Oxlade love bus. Smash it lad.
    2 points
  34. Made up to see the birth of Golden Slumbers on this, just a wonderful song. The string arrangement on the second verse still cuts me up now, fuck knows how it would have sounded if it had made the Let It Be album and Phil Spector got his hands on it. Love this documentary, it manages to show the lads having the same problems as we all do when rehearsing/writing songs whilst still showing just how phenomenal they are. Roll on tomorrow.
    2 points
  35. That side that Spurs lost to are the fifth best team in Slovenia. In the Euro Index of top flight club sides they are 378th. 25 places below Shamrock Rovers. Their closest equivalents in the English leagues were Burton and Accrington Stanley. Never go full Spurs.
    2 points
  36. 2 points
  37. Fuck me, what a load of fucking bollocks.
    2 points



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