The world of a woman.

[Garrincha]

Chrome.

 

Adblock Plus

https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/empty-title/cfhdojbkjhnklbpkdaibdccddilifddb?hl=en

 

Adblock Standard

https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/adblock/gighmmpiobklfepjocnamgkkbiglidom?hl=en

 

Enjoy, proper kind me.

Edited June 7, 2013 by Garrincha

[Trumo]

When the fuck did this thread turn into another kevplest 'look at them heels' thread? It should be about the daft things woman say and do.

 

To that end, I overheard a conversation between two women on the bus this morning, where one of them was talking about going away to somewhere in Italy for the weekend, and how since they never stamp her passport whenever she goes to Europe, she's wondering if she should just leave it at home 'to keep it safe' and that it's 'less to carry'.

[Sugar Ape]

When the fuck did this thread turn into another kevplest 'look at them heels' thread?

 

I've already negged Champ, this thread used to be outstanding.

[Karl_b]

Twice in a week I've been locked out the house because she left her keys in the door. Once when it was tipping it down and she was in the bath, leaving me stuck out in the rain for 10 minutes, and another at midnight when she was in bed.

 

I was asked to pick up a load of shopping from the markets on my dinner hour earlier this week. I did and asked her to pick me up from work, save me carting it all on the tram. I get an email at 6pm asking if I'm still there, this is half an hour after I've left and by which time I'm already home, via the tram. I'm then in trouble when she gets back because she had to go to town and back and I wasn't there. So despite her asking if I was there, instead of the sensible thought being 'No response, he must have left already' she assumed I was still there.

 

Still, she's pretty and smells nice.

[VladimirIlyich]

 

Chrome.

 

As well as Garrincha's advice,Flashblock is available on chrome too,in the add ons section. DoNotTrackMe might just be a firefox add on but im not certain.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Lying bastards not a single bloke on this forum would turn her down. not just for a fuck but as a missus.

 

Apart from me of course because my missus is a younger better looking version. Fuck y'aaallll

 

Posh spice looks like a little toe.

 

That is missing it's nail. And has two bunions that she tries to pass off as tits.

 

She's a fucking hag.

[Champ]

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Adblock Standard

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I am a dopey girl... how am I meant to know which one to choose, or is the answer both?

[Champ]

I've already negged Champ, this thread used to be outstanding.

 

You can be so precious sometimes

[VladimirIlyich]

I am a dopey girl... how am I meant to know which one to choose, or is the answer both?

 

Go for the first one as that's Adblock Plus rather than the standard one.

[Garrincha]

Haha. I am so not that kind of woman. What prompted the question was me spending the night in Newcastle last Saturday watching the countless hordes of women teetering in shoes like that, arses sticking out, as they attempted to keep up with the rest of their mates and I just was fascinated trying to work out who they were doing it for

 

And in true TheBitch stylee....why I oughta ....

 

It's to make them appear more horse-like for the men. Geordie men go crazy when they see horses, it's like some shamanistic voodoo.

[The Special One]

When the fuck did this thread turn into another kevplest 'look at them heels' thread? It should be about the daft things woman say and do.

 

To that end' date=' I overheard a conversation between two women on the bus this morning, where one of them was talking about going away to somewhere in Italy for the weekend, and how since they never stamp her passport whenever she goes to Europe, she's wondering if she should just leave it at home 'to keep it safe' and that it's 'less to carry'.[/quote']

 

Hahahahahaha... Surely someone can't be THAT stupid?

[Remmie]

When the fuck did this thread turn into another kevplest 'look at them heels' thread? It should be about the daft things woman say and do.

 

To that end' date=' I overheard a conversation between two women on the bus this morning, where one of them was talking about going away to somewhere in Italy for the weekend, and how since they never stamp her passport whenever she goes to Europe, she's wondering if she should just leave it at home 'to keep it safe' and that it's 'less to carry'.[/quote']I hope no one put her right...

[Trumo]

Hahahahahaha... Surely someone can't be THAT stupid?

 

You might want to read this thread!

 

I hope no one put her right...

 

Exactly what I was hoping. Oh to witness that discussion with the airport check-in staff!

[jonnybastard]

I hold my hands up to being a proper old granny here but would someone tell me what the point of these and similar are. Are they gorgeous to men?

 

 

They can be quite useful as handles.

[Remmie]

LL's rant reminded me of this girl at work who had to leave work because with a completely straight face her mum was cat sitting and couldn't handle looking after her cat. The lady manager didn't query the criticality of this at all and let her fuck off home.

 

Add to this she always moaned when people were 2 minutes late/off sick, accusing them of skiving, serial whinging cuntaxe.

Edited June 8, 2013 by Remmie

[Liverpool lad]

I haven’t told you about the woman who took a fortnight off with the stress of the guinea pig dying.

 

This is a true story and Tossed & Blown can vouch for me.

 

When we went to Newcastle, I met up with a girl I know for a coffee and a catch up. Al and his friends were also about to witness this story. She went on to tell me that a woman of 30 in her work went off sick as Coco the guinea pig died, it started off as two weeks and I had it confirmed that it finished being four weeks.

 

My friend works in a school and it was the school guinea pig that popped it clogs, but this poor woman had taken a shine to it, taking it home at weekends and claiming for its vet bills on expenses. Towards the end, the writing was on the wall for Coco, the mounting vets bills indicated it was time to graze in heaven. However this poor woman has decided to take it home and nurse it in its final hours, feeding the dying animal with a pipette/syringe and cradled it until the end.

 

News of the animal’s demise was broken during a staff meeting during the part ‘any other business’ when the woman stood up and said that ‘At 04:15 Coco the guinea pig died in my arms’, she was crying at this point whilst some members of staff were struggling to stifle their laughter, then just before she left the room said ‘has anyone told the year sevens?’

 

From what I gather this is a rough arse area of the North East and I doubt the children have the ability to be even remotely arsed about it all.

 

Now the story got better with the news she took an additional two weeks off with stress due to what had happened, four weeks in total. However the icing of the cake was the screenshot of her Facebook, which for obvious reasons will not be put on a public forum, but those who see me about can see the screenshot first hand. The status read ‘RIP Coco. Fly with the angels and know that Mammy and Daddy will always love you xxx’

 

I don’t which is sadder, a teacher resorting to this, or that she had a replacement guinea pig within the month and Coco was quickly forgotten

[Liverpool lad]

Some editing allows me to do this

 

 

I have cropped the name for obvious reasons

[Joe Le Taxi]

Hahahahahha

[Pidge]

Twice in a week I've been locked out the house because she left her keys in the door. Once when it was tipping it down and she was in the bath, leaving me stuck out in the rain for 10 minutes, and another at midnight when she was in bed.

 

I was asked to pick up a load of shopping from the markets on my dinner hour earlier this week. I did and asked her to pick me up from work, save me carting it all on the tram. I get an email at 6pm asking if I'm still there, this is half an hour after I've left and by which time I'm already home, via the tram. I'm then in trouble when she gets back because she had to go to town and back and I wasn't there. So despite her asking if I was there, instead of the sensible thought being 'No response, he must have left already' she assumed I was still there.

 

Still, she's pretty and smells nice.

 

Haha

 

"Why didn't you text back?"

"I HAD MY FUCKING HANDS FULL!"

[Bjornebye]

she just woke me up, fucking woke me up.

 

then, i came on here while she went to get a shower and was reading the hayden patinnere thread, and she walks in and says right go the cafe over the road, i want sausage in either a roll or toast. not bread ok? sorry babe aha? ok listen, stop reading your tlw , right (repeats order) so i throw in the 'do you not want it on a barm' comment and start chuckling to myself. so she cupcakes me and fucks off into the shower.

 

class. right. there.

 

oh, im told i need to be gone by the time she gets out the shower. in a bit lads

[Lucky Pierre]

Hahahahahaha... Surely someone can't be THAT stupid?

I'm sure she doesn't know this, but technically you don't need a passport to get around the EU. All you need is photographic ID. The only problem being that the private aeroplane or boat companies have the right to refuse you entry to your mode of transport.

[Sugar Ape]

This is 100% genuine, happened about a year ago with this woman I used to work with who lives on her own, she finishes work at 3 and phones my boss about 4. Goes like this:

 

Woman: Rob, can you check my desk I've lost my house keys and think I might have left them on my desk.

 

My boss: * Checks her desk * No, there is nothing on your desk it's clear.

 

Woman: What am I going to do then? I must have lost them between work and getting home.

 

Boss: * Notices on his phone display she is phoning on a land line * Where are you phoning from?

 

Woman: My house.

 

Boss: How did you get in if you've lost your keys?

 

Woman: Hold on a minute * line is quiet for 30 seconds * Doesn't matter, I'd left them in the front door lock.

[Red Banjo]

Brilliant.

[VladimirIlyich]

Ive mentioned this in another thread but thought it echoed Karl's post.

 

In our house we had new windows and doors fitted about a year ago but only me and the missus have keys for the back door as well as the front.

A few weeks back both the missus and me were out and my daughter was the only one in. We had locked the back door as our daughter was still in bed when we went out.

The weather was nice too.

A couple of hours later I got a phone call from my daughter asking me to come home quick as she was locked out in the garden and couldnt get back in the house.

 

Stupid girl had climbed out of the downstairs window to get some sun and it shut behind her and she was locked out.

Our garden has a padlocked gate and hedges so you cant get round to the front even if you have a key for the front door (which she left in the house) and the padlocked gate key is also in the house.

 

She has a University Degree too, but not in common sense.

[Trumo]

As soon as I saw her first sentence, it was obvious where that story was going. As she was talking to the boss, she answered sheepishly upon realising her mistake. Had she been talking to her husband or boyfriend, it would almost certainly have been his fault.