Have fun with Omegle

[Dicko]

Omegle

From RAOTL.

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hello

Stranger: hi

You: Bit tired here

You: Bear with me

You: Straight to the point

Stranger: What is the point?

You: May have been a bit misled here

Stranger: By who?

You: Was told this was the place to make contacts

Stranger: It is

You: Cheese-buying contacts

You: Specifically

Stranger: I can buy cheese

Stranger: I can buy you cheese

You: Thank fuck for that

You: Been here for four hours

You: Everyone's like "I HAV COCKCHEESE"

Stranger: I can get you that for free

You: Was about ready to strangle Baz

Stranger: you said 'buying'

You: Buying

Stranger: yes

You: I churn a Tintern here, and import Leerdammer

Stranger: Oh, by the way.

You: They're my big earners

Stranger: I have Cock-cheese

You: Get to fuck with your cock cheese

You: Let's talk Tintern

Stranger: I enjoy Tintern

You: It's got chive about it, but nothing too overpowering

Stranger: Which is a good thing

You: Hint of spring onion

Stranger: Too many Cheeses nowadays are overpowering

You: We used to put more in, but it was turning people off

Stranger: Will, is that you?

You: Are you having a fucking seance there, lad?

You: Stay on point

You: Tintern

Stranger: What did you call me?

You: I didn't call you anything

Stranger: You called me a Tintern

Stranger: You twat

You: That's what a Yorkshireman calls a temp

Stranger: He'd better

Stranger: Now get back to the point

You: Please

Stranger: You're Welcome

Stranger: Tintern

You: So we're selling it in an off-blue wax now, which has turned some buyers off, but opened up other doors

Stranger: I'm happy for you

You: A good friend of mind has it alongside a nice Shropshire Blue in his stores, which is probably the way forward for us

Stranger: I imagine so

You: It's not a blue, but it's definitely an inbetween blend

Stranger: Good, I hate a pure blue

You: I don't dislike a pure blue, but it's not my favourite

You: So, let's talk numbers

Stranger: which ones?

You: How much can you shift?

Stranger: A few thou gallons

Stranger: in the first Q

Stranger: Can you supply it?

You: I'm happy to sort out a few wheels so you can have a look at it on the shelf

Stranger: Shall we set up a viewing?

You: Beyond that we're definitely going to give you better figures on bulk

Stranger: I would expect nothing less.

You: Best bet is if I bring it in and show you how we tend to present

You: Some like a front facing wheel

Stranger: When are you available to do that?

You: Others like the rind front and centre

You: I can't do this week, but anytime from Tuesday next is fine

Stranger: Those people are kidding themselves

You: The rind? Tell me about it

You: People think they're getting an Edam

Stranger: Those imbeciles.

Stranger: How does Wednesday look for you?

You: Wednesday's great, but it'll have to be after 11

You: Dentist

Stranger: Well I cant do after 12

Stranger: Dentist

Stranger: so I guess it'll have to be in between

You: I'd normally give an hour window anyway

You: That works

Stranger: Then we have it

You: So if we say six wheels

You: Wednesday next, 11-12

Stranger: Make it 7, in case of damages

You: These'll be pristine, lad

Stranger: I always like to be safe

You: The wax is on within the hour before it's in the van

You: Pristine

Stranger: Alright, but only if you can guarentee me the quality

You: If you're after 7, I'll make it 7

You: 7's more than 6, let's face it

You: it's all good

Stranger: 7 would be reasonable

You: Do bear in mind your stacks though, is all I'd say

You: If you're short elsewhere, you're left with a 3 stack and a 4

Stranger: I'll talk to my assistant about it

You: Doesn't always look so good unless you do a lattice display

Stranger: We'll find space

You: 7 it is

You: This is excellent

Stranger: Indeed

Stranger: I feel very good about this

You: I'm thrilled

You: The way things have been, I'd have been happy to shift a few samplers in fairness

Stranger: Now that business is out of the way, would you like to have dinner with me?

You: Ah

You: Dinner

Stranger: Just if you're not busy...

You: Define "dinner"

Stranger: Well, I don't know. We could meet for drinks, a bit a meal meal. You know, see what happens...

You: You mean evening meal don't you?

You: "Tea"

Stranger: Yes, I do

You: Dinner's what I have on my dinner hour

Stranger: Tea, I define as a late afternoon meal.

You: Not that I get an hour these days

Stranger: I'm quick.

You: You've got it all tits up, lad

You: Breakfast > Dinner > Tea

You: Supper if you can be arsed

Stranger: If you don't want to you could just say No.

You: I didn't say no

Stranger: You dont have to spare my feelings.

Stranger: Also - what is lunch?

You: I just don't like to get too involved and then realise I've made plans for my dinner hour

You: Exactly, what is lunch?

You: I hear so much about it on the TV

Stranger: I don't.

You: Dairylea Lunchables

Stranger: It's no Tintern

You: Quite aside from the abortion of a cheese they're palming

You: When am I supposed to be eating that?

Stranger: Very witty.

You: But you see, I don't find it funny

Stranger: At, what you define as, Dinner

You: Dairylea nearly killed people like me

Stranger: They are misdefining cheese

You: "Cheese", I call it

You: Air quotes

Stranger: Indeed

You: Get on Billy with his fucking "Cheese"

Stranger: But you still haven't responded to my proposal

You: What?

Stranger: My Dinner/Tea proposal

You: Is it a deal-breaker?

Stranger: No, I'm open to suggestions.

You: I'm not packing 7 wheels in and then finding you're keeping the cheque-book in your pocket until I've sucked your custard out

Stranger: But if I have no chance of getting some Arse I'd like to cut my losses now.

You: I'm not going down that road again

Stranger: Why not?

Stranger: What's wrong with that road?

You: The wife wouldn't process those invoices

You: It's obscene

Stranger: You should never go into business as a couple

Stranger: Rookie mistake.

You: Tell me about it

You: I went out first thing one day

You: Come back, and she's set up a fucking office

You: "What do I want with an office?"

Stranger: Women, eh?

You: "Well, your secretary needs somewhere to work"

You: Suddenly it seemed like a great idea

You: Didn't realise she'd already made an appointment

You: (her)

Stranger: The concept of a secretary?

You: Oh yes

You: I can get behind that concept

You: I can get between both of those concepts

You: Oh yes

Stranger: I know what you mean. I wouldn't mind having Ms. Gylenhall do my paperwork

Stranger: Do my paperwork all night long...

Stranger: Yea...

Stranger: ...ehem...

You: See, I like the idea of Maggie Gyllenhall

Stranger: Who's that?

You: But I can't get past the fact that it looks like a man

Stranger: You're too picky

You: It's mannish

You: Just too much of the man about it

Stranger: you mentioned

You: I couldn't put anything in it without thinking I was turning

You: It's not right

Stranger: You alright mentioned the custard sucking business.

Stranger: Did that not feel like a turn?

You: It does look mannish, you have to agree

You: custard-sucking's business

Stranger: That was his name?

You: Gyllenhall's just a pure out and out turning

You: I just can't get past the whole mannishness of it

Stranger: Oh, I don't think I introducted myself

You: Introduct away

Stranger: Jake Gyllenhall, pleased to meet you.

You: Oh you are quite the wit

You: Pleased to meet you

Stranger: I have a joke book

You: "Jake"

You: Is it a joke "ledger"?

Stranger: Too soon.

You: Still?

Stranger: It still hurts.

You: I can imagine

Stranger: deeply

You: Talk about mannish

Stranger: In the bum

You: He'd lance your piles and drag the skin from your front over them all in one motion

Stranger: He did.

You: Not now, obviously

You: Bit too mouldy

Stranger: Now it would take several motions

You: Which brings me back to Tintern

Stranger: Indeed it does

Stranger: But I must be off.

You: Which brings me back to Ledger

Stranger: I've had a wonderful conversation

You: What with being "off"

Stranger: But it wasnt this one

You: Oh you are a card

Stranger: God Speed.

You: Very fast

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Stu Monty]

I have no idea what Omegle is or what the point of that was but it was entertaining.

[Special K]

A lad called ivortheinjun had some bloke go round to a house in London thinking he was a woman. Had me in tears.

 

This is epic but hilarious:

 

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: 19/f/uk

You: ?

Stranger: whats ur myspace

You: i don't have one

Stranger: everyone has one

You: not me

You: got hacked

Stranger: :O

Stranger: oh no

You: didn't bother making another

You: who are you?

Stranger: its me jamal

You: I just showered

You: In a robe here

Stranger: should let me come over

You: That would be awesome

You: Talk is cheap though, man

You: come in my ass and be on your way if that makes you happy

Stranger: i dont do anal

You: figure of speech

You: my ass = me

Stranger: oh lool

Stranger: i knew that

You: we can talk now if you like

You: just tell me what you need

You: I'm just here in this little robe

You: ;)

Stranger: :o

Stranger: im embarressed now

You: I'm just a girl looking to make her way in the world

You: That's quite all right

You: I'm sat here typing in an open robe

You: I'm not big on embarrassment

Stranger: where in the uk are u from

You: london

Stranger: lol same, kilburn :)

You: Fucking hell, man

You: I'm in Cricklewood

Stranger: what

Stranger: wow its a small world

You: You literally could come round and fuck me if you wanted to

You: Like, now

Stranger: you could be a man for all i know so ill pass

You: I'm really not

You: *looks down*

You: I'm really, really not

Stranger: LOL

You: Seriously I'm just on here to get off

You: Nobody's quite got me there so far

Stranger: o isit

Stranger: i could be a 50year old man

Stranger: or even a 14 yr old boy

Stranger: then what would u do

You: I'd prefer you weren't 14, but anything above 16 is fine by me

Stranger: im actually 19

You: Very cool

You: Me too

You: What do you like to do with girls?

You: Talk as freely as you like, very little shocks me

Stranger: lol i can talk freely because you are a stranger

You: Some people get a bit inhibited, even over the net

Stranger: i like to do anything apart from anal (really)

You: That's cool

Stranger: yourself

You: I've had anal, and it's not my favourite either

You: I like threesomes

You: With another girl and a guy

Stranger: that is hot

You: I love giving head

Stranger: i love receiving :)

You: I give pretty fucking good head

Stranger: o really

You: Just think, I could be giving you head in 10 minutes from now

You: We are that close

Stranger: thing is you could be really ugly

Stranger: no offence

You: That's true

You: I'm really not though

You: I have no pics online, but I can describe myself if you'd like

Stranger: ok

You: Brunette

You: Shoulder length hair

You: 5ft 8in

You: green eyes (guys love my eyes)

You: Slim/medium build

You: Not skinny - I fucking hate skinny bitches

You: Just a little to get hold of

Stranger: can stand skinny girls aswell lol

Stranger: u sound pretty hot

You: 34C

You: I have what are called "puffy" nipples

You: you know what that means?

Stranger: yeah

You: They're pretty fucking awesome

Stranger: i love them

Stranger: u sound too good to be true

You: Heh heh

You: They grow in your mouth when you suck them

Stranger: i honestly dont beleive a hot girl would come on this site to hook up

You: Seriously dude, I'm just on a day off, showered and I want to get off

You: The shower head got me most of the way there

You: But there's nothing like a bit of company

You: I just like to talk to random guys and have them tell me what they want to do to me

Stranger: wow

Stranger: what kind of guys u like white, black, mixrace what..

You: I'm white, sort of tanned complexion

You: I've been with white, black, Indian guys

You: I just love cock, to be perfectly honest with you

Stranger: lool

You: If the cock's right, the rest of the package is negotiable

Stranger: your so cool

You: It has been said

You: So what do you like?

You: What do you like to do to women?

Stranger: i look like however u imagine me to

You: That's vague, but cool

You: I think you're mixed race

You: I don't know why, but that's how I picture you

Stranger: im black most girls say im pretty boy

You: Black is fucking cool

You: Africa or Caribbean?

Stranger: carribean

You: Kilburn, right?

You: Of course

Stranger: yeah

You: Fuck. I really kind of want you right now

Stranger: how do we go about this

You: I have no earthly idea

You: To be honest with you I'd be happy if you just came round and fucked me

Stranger: do u promise you wont kill or rape me

Stranger: i dont want to be on the news 2moro

You: lol

You: I promise

You: shit man, my flatmate works until like 11pm, and she normally goes straight out anyway.

You: If you're cute though, I could hook you up with both of us.

Stranger: :)

You: I'm all on my own until she's back, I promise

You: Fuck man, even half an hour would be great

You: I just so badly need to cum right now

Stranger: ill come

Stranger: should i just jump through my computer screen

You: I am absolutely not fucking around

Stranger: i was being sarcastic i kinda need to know where you are dont lol

You: I'm at 62 Cricklewood Lane, opposite the station

You: It's the second house after the bridge

Stranger: yeah i know where that is

You: Bring condoms, I'm all out

Stranger: give me your number

You: My flatmate has my mobile today

Stranger: dont u have a house number

You: No landline here

You: Bear with me...

You: Shit, she hasn't put it on charge - I was going to give you my flatmate's number

Stranger: 07737847569

You: I don't have a working phone here

Stranger: oh right

Stranger: u got msn

You: No, sorry

Stranger: u have anything lool

You: Listen man, my flatmate works in the Somerfield just off the Broadway

You: So do I, just not today

You: If you want to check me out, ring the store and ask for Anjali

You: That's her, and she'll vouch for me

Stranger: alright will do

You: She's in the cigarette kiosk

You: As of two nights ago, she's single as well

Stranger: is she asian

You: Yeah

You: We make a pretty awesome team

You: Come on dude, don't keep me hanging.

You: Should I expect a cute black guy on my doorstep this afternoon?

You: If you're not into it, that's cool, and I'll get my shower head on the case

Stranger: hold on im looking for the number for the store

You: Fucking hell dude you could be here by now

You: These things are kind of like an honour thing, I like to think

You: You got her yet?

Stranger: ive never done anything like this before if i had more clarification that u are who u say u are i would be there before u could say sex

Stranger: nah cant find the number

You: Come to my house, knock on the door

You: If I'm not a smoking girl in a robe, walk away

You: That's it

You: Shit man, you have my address

Stranger: alright ill be there in half hour max

You: Awesome

You: Please, bring condoms

Stranger: will do

You: If you have any wine as well, that's cool

You: There's a place a few doors down if you want to pick some up on the way

You: Shit I'm so fucking wet right now

You: Are we on?

Stranger: yeah im getting ready now

You: What music do you like?

You: I'll get some tunes on

Stranger: anything will do

You: Right

You: Please come

You: My entire day is now all about you coming round to fuck me

Stranger: ill leave the computer on and this window open - please don't be lying to me

You: K, I'm not.

You: What will you be wearing?

You: Just so I can look out for you

Stranger: blue jeans, white trainers, grey jumper with a shirt

Stranger: Im leaving this window open. please pleaase please don't be fucking with me here. I want you so bad.

You: Seriously, get on the fucking bus and fuck me already you fucking pussy.

Stranger: Okay, okay I'm gone. I'm out the door right now.

You: Awesome, man.

Stranger: Last message before I leave. I've got condoms. I'm on the way.

You: See you here shortly. I really can't wait.

Stranger: im on the car on the broadway now wont be long babes

You: How the fuck is that possible?

Stranger: im chatting on my iphone

You: iphone - cool

You: am jealous :)

Stranger: ill let u play on it. just gna go shop first, you want anything

Stranger: ?

You: Fucking hell dude

You: You got condoms?

Stranger: lool ok ill speed up proccess

Stranger: yeah

You: Maybe some Tic-Tacs

Stranger: ok

You: Where on the broadway are you?

You: Shit dude, you'd best not be standing me up - you should be here by now

Stranger: im outside now near the black golf

You: Hang on

Stranger: which house isit

Stranger: 62 yeah

You: 62

You: Where the fuck are you?

Stranger: answer the door then

You: I can't see you

You: Have you got the right house?

Stranger: the house im at has a messed up garden lol

You: There's a 62a as well, which isn't the same building

You: We have problems with the post

You: Where the fuck are you?

You: I'm at the window now

Stranger: hmm

You: Cricklewood Lane?

Stranger: ohh yeah i see you im at the wrong house

You: Come in for fuck's sake

Stranger: You cunt I'm going to fucking kill you you lying fucking bitch.

You: If it makes you feel any better, I'm actually a 31 year old man.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Fugitive]

I'm no good at this. Here is how my conversation went....

 

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: Cock Cheese

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[The Celtic Way]

I'm no good at this. Here is how my conversation went....

 

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: Cock Cheese

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Just followed the link from here, and got talking to someone who posts on RAWK, what's the chances !! Good sort tae.

[Fugitive]

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hello

You: I like to fuck dead people

Stranger: owkey that's nice^^

You: It is. Very cold, dry and hard.

Stranger: don't you get dry and salty balls if you do that?

You: Can I bum you.

Stranger: bum me?

You: Yes, stick my cock in your bum.

Stranger: do what ever you like

You: That is disgusting. Don't be gay.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Not good at this conversation business.

[Antynwa]

You: What's love got to do with it?

Stranger: Pclabową

You: Precisely

You: Do you like the Welsh band, Goldie looking Chain?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?

You: OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

Stranger: Hahahah.

Stranger: You win.

You: Decent

You: Do you know Tom Hicks?

Stranger: TELL ME OF YOUR TRAVELS.

You: I travel far and wide

Stranger: No, I don't.

You: trying to find Tom Hicks

You: Do you know him? He's a fat bellend from Texas who needs shit stabbing?

Stranger: He's on this website?

Stranger: Oh.

You: He's everywhere man

Stranger: I do not know any Texans.

You: Neither do I

You: I'm not even from the USA

Stranger: COMMIE.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Fugitive]

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: I see a little silhouetto of a man

Stranger: oh you do? where?

You: Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Guido]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

You: leonard. 51. pleasure.

Stranger: chris 49 I-Like-Big-Men Town

Stranger: wanna fuck?

You: ok

You: you start

Stranger: good

Stranger: now please pretend your 7

You: ha!

Stranger: or a NIGGER

You: i can do 6 and 8 but not 7

You: i can do carribean but not african

You: caribbean

Stranger: ok then lets go carribien and 6

You: awwww! misser why you hurty!!

You: etc.

Stranger: wait wat?

You: your turn

You: i'm just came

Stranger: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

You: leonard. 51. pleasure.

 

You have disconnected.

[Dicko]

Another one of Ivor's.

 

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: 19/f/uk

Stranger: Wow. :

Stranger: and your telling me this why?

You: Just putting it out there

Stranger: nice

You: So many people dance around such matters

Stranger: are you horny?

You: I'm pretty damn horny, I have to tell you

Stranger: nice

Stranger: soo what aare you wearing?

You: I've just had some french prick chatting

You: i was close to getting off, but his english was so bad i had to cut him off

Stranger: hahaha. :))

Stranger: nice

Stranger: what are you wearing?

You: i'm in a robe

You: showered not long ago

Stranger: ohh

Stranger: soo. can i lick your big tits

You: Sure

Stranger: *lick**lick*

Stranger: yuum

Stranger: they taste good

Stranger: what about your pussy?

You: I like it when you suck my nipples hard

Stranger: ohh

Stranger: yyuuummy

You: I want my nipples to get hard in your mouth

Stranger: wow. your making my dick so HARD

Stranger: are you wet?

You: The shower helped ;)

Stranger: WOW

Stranger: wanna suck my dick

You: I'm just drying my ass off a little

Stranger: ohh wow

Stranger: shit. im so horny right now

You: Maybe you can help dry my ass...

Stranger: sure

Stranger: but how?

You: You can stroke it dry if you like

Stranger: wow.

Stranger: yeaah

You: I don't mind if your fingers wander in a little

Stranger: nice ass you gt there

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: thats how i like it

You: That's how i like it

Stranger: maan. your makin me soo hard

Stranger: may i finger you?

You: Imagine if I was touching you

Stranger: okay

You: Imagine I had hold of your cock right now

Stranger: wow

You: My hands have just come from the shower

Stranger: okay

You: They're real soft

Stranger: ohh my

Stranger: ughh soo good

You: My lips are even softer

Stranger: MMMM

Stranger: cmon you know what to do

You: I'm just licking your inner thigh for now

You: looking up at you

Stranger: yeah yeah!

You: With my big green eyes

Stranger: nice

You: I'm licking a little higher

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: come on

You: I just caught the edge of your balls with my tongue

You: just a little

Stranger: yes

You: just an accident

Stranger: ohh

You: didn't mean anything by it

Stranger: ohh fucking hell

You: i'm licking your other thigh now

You: a little harder

Stranger: ohh yeaah

You: a little higher

Stranger: nice nice

You: i just brushed my tit against your cock

Stranger: uhgg

You: that felt good

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: yeah it did

You: you felt wet then

Stranger: okay

You: i've got a little of you on my tit now

You: i'm going to have to clean that off

Stranger: okay

Stranger: mm

You: that tastes real good

Stranger: yeah it does

You: i didn't know it'd taste that good

You: i think that's a taste i could get to know a lot more

Stranger: you want more?

You: it looks really nice to me

Stranger: then go get it

You: just a little kiss on your end at first

You: just to taste

Stranger: nice

Stranger: okay

You: then a little more

You: a little tongue, not too much

Stranger: okay

You: then a little more

Stranger: more

Stranger: more

You: my tits are right against your thighs now

You: i'm turning around though

Stranger: wow

Stranger: lemme me see that ass of yours

You: i want my tits against your stomach

Stranger: okay

You: i want your face between my legs

Stranger: me too

You: i want to know what you've got

You: your cock is right inside my mouth now

You: it's getting bigger

Stranger: yeah it is

You: how can it still be getting bigger?

You: how much more is there?

You: Mmmmm

Stranger: its because your sucking it

You: What would you like to do to me

You: You have me

You: You can do anything you want to

Stranger: i wanna fuck you in your ass first

You: Mmmmm

You: A little lube, not too much

You: I want to FEEL you inside me

You: I've never had a cock like this inside me

Stranger: okay.

Stranger: sure

Stranger: but first

Stranger: can i give you boob fuck?

You: MMMMMMMMMMMM

You: fuck my tits

You: fuck them

You: Talk to me

You: Talk to me when you fuck me

You: Tell me what you're doing, and tell me what you're going to do next

Stranger: oh my wait

You: Quickly#

You: I'm so fucking wet right now

Stranger: i wanna fuck you now

Stranger: i wanna fuck you dogstyle

You: Mmmmm

You: Be gentle

You: ;)

Stranger: okay yeah

Stranger: yeah

You: Talk to me

You: Tell me what you're doing

Stranger: wait

You: Tell me what it feels like

You: Fuck I'm wet

Stranger: it feels so wet and slimey

Stranger: and it feels so fucking good

You: Slimey's not a great word for this ;)

You: (not so hot)

Stranger: ohh im sorry

Stranger: it feels good and wet

Stranger: and the best!

You: Grab my hair

Stranger: sure

You: Pull me towards you

Stranger: *grabs*

Stranger: okay

Stranger: there

You: drag yourself far inside me

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: uhm

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: there we go

You: RIGHT inside me

You: I want ALL of that fucking cock right there

Stranger: now im going in fast and deep

You: That fucking cock is mine right now

Stranger: ugh ugh yeah

You: Give that fucking cock to me

Stranger: sure

You: It's so fucking big

Stranger: there you go

Stranger: well its all because of you

You: Grab my tits

Stranger: there

You: Play with them

Stranger: okay

You: Squeeze my fucking tits, boy

Stranger: squeezzzzzeeeee

Stranger: aww yeah feels soo good

Stranger: yeah oh yeah

You: Mmmmm

You: I am so fucking close right now

You: Tell me about when you cum

Stranger: oh wow

Stranger: what do you mean?

You: You can cum anywhere you like

You: Tell me how it feels

Stranger: okay

Stranger: what about near your ass

Stranger: /?

You: You can come IN my ass if you want

You: I would fucking love that

Stranger: oh yeah im like fucking your ass right now

You: Mmmmm

You: Fuck me

Stranger: oh im about to cum

Stranger: come close to my dick

Stranger: your mouth

Stranger: cmon

Stranger: fast

You: MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Stranger: there we goo

Stranger: ahh

You: I'm drinking that right down

Stranger: coome on. give me another blowjob

You: That's so fucking good

Stranger: what does my cum taste like?

You: It's warm and bitter

You: Just the way I like it

Stranger: nice

You: It oozes down my throat

Stranger: im glad you like it

You: Down my face

You: It's on my tits

Stranger: nice

Stranger: very nice

Stranger: im licking your tits ight now

You: Now clean some of that shit out of my moustache and wank my cock

Stranger: what?

You: Wank it

Stranger: wank what?

You: Wank that cock

You: It's all yours

Stranger: sure

You: Mmmmm

Stranger: okay bye nice talking to you

You: Wank my cock boy

Stranger: ilove you

You: I came so fucking hard then

You: thank you

You: How old are you

Stranger: 20

Stranger: sure

Stranger: iloveyou

You: I love you too

You: Thank you for wanking my cock

Stranger: wait, what? Your cock?

You: And cumming in my moustache

Stranger: Oh fuck me no

Stranger: I just came you sick fuck

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[INTORRESTING]

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: howdy

Stranger: sooo...

You: up?

Stranger: no down =[

You: sorry i thought you were saying soup

You: i'm jez north by the way

Stranger: pete

Stranger: asl?

You: someone called me a small bean regarder earlier but i didnt know what it meant

Stranger: lol thats crazy

You: 21/f/london

Stranger: 18/m/yorkshire

Stranger: at uni?

You: whats this thing anyway, just a random thing, P2PBSH

You: yeah last year of uni

Stranger: erm... peer to peer something lol ill google

You: my mate reckons its noncesense

Stranger: did someone say anything about it?

Stranger: cos theres someone on the student room called that

You: called what?

Stranger: P2PBSH

Stranger: oh no... found what it means

You: sorry not sure what you mean, i didnt go to school but i know someone who used to dress up as a school

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Steve Holt]

Was fucking about on this tonight and after a while got talking to this girl from Illinois. We were just doing that whole "normal chat" thing that happens on there every so often. The convo turned when she mentioned she had recently split from her boyfriend, cos that lead to her telling me her dad abuses her and has done so for years. Now obviously I was very sceptical at this point but I talked to her about it for a while and I started to believe her. It was really sad she was talking about how she can't tell anyone or get help cos she is scared about what will happen to her family. I usually reckon I'm good at sniffing out a bullshitter, especially on omegle. I was really pitying this girl at this point. Anyway I had to leave then and I said to her that she should really tell someone who can help her get something done about it. I gave her my email address (i know how much of a schoolboy that is) and told her she could email me if she wanted to talk to someone about it. Within seconds she'd added me on msn and she appeared to be exactly the person she said she was. So we talked for a bit more when I got back, mostly the same, me trying to convince her she needs to seek help and doesn't deserve whats happening to her and her saying she can't and that maybe she does deserve it. Then she says her dad is home and she immediately signs off. Maybe I've been had here but if so its by the very best. She was utterly convincing and even added me on msn.

 

Its not always fun on Omegle.

[Ted]

It was Simon.

[Fugitive]

Was fucking about on this tonight and after a while got talking to this girl from Illinois. We were just doing that whole "normal chat" thing that happens on there every so often. The convo turned when she mentioned she had recently split from her boyfriend, cos that lead to her telling me her dad abuses her and has done so for years. Now obviously I was very sceptical at this point but I talked to her about it for a while and I started to believe her. It was really sad she was talking about how she can't tell anyone or get help cos she is scared about what will happen to her family. I usually reckon I'm good at sniffing out a bullshitter, especially on omegle. I was really pitying this girl at this point. Anyway I had to leave then and I said to her that she should really tell someone who can help her get something done about it. I gave her my email address (i know how much of a schoolboy that is) and told her she could email me if she wanted to talk to someone about it. Within seconds she'd added me on msn and she appeared to be exactly the person she said she was. So we talked for a bit more when I got back, mostly the same, me trying to convince her she needs to seek help and doesn't deserve whats happening to her and her saying she can't and that maybe she does deserve it. Then she says her dad is home and she immediately signs off. Maybe I've been had here but if so its by the very best. She was utterly convincing and even added me on msn.

 

Its not always fun on Omegle.

 

Negged for not trying it on with her.

 

It's usually the emotional wrecks who are easier to convince.

[Joe Le Taxi]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: are you horny girl on webcam ( msn or skype) ?

You: Maybe

Stranger: why?

You: Where are you from?

Stranger: usa

Stranger: you?

You: Fuck off you fat, lazy American cunt.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[The-Sir]

Is it just me or is pretending to be a girl to get a guy off a bit... gay?

[Joe Le Taxi]

I just wanted to slate an American.

[Fugitive]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: I'm scared

Stranger: oh why?

You: I've just been raped by an Alien

Stranger: oh really, well you should report that.

You: I did, the police laughed at me when I told them my ass was bleeding

Stranger: oh really i'm so sorry, gosh police people these days.

You: On the plus side, I now know Alien sperm is Orange and smells of garlic

Stranger: oh wow, well thank you i will watch out for that then.

You: Can I fuck you like the Alien fucked me?

Stranger: well that depends.

You: On what?

Stranger: are you a chick or dude?

You: I'm whatever you want me to be.

Stranger: oh really.

You: I have both a Vagina and a Penis. I'm special.

Stranger: oh you are well i like penis better.

You: I have one of those. I call him Dave the Destroyer.

Stranger: oh nice name

Stranger: for you penis.

You: Would you like him to destroy you?

Stranger: Your strange

You: My Nan said that while I was flicking her bean last night

Stranger: WHAT

You: Shit the Aliens are back

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Freaking people out is fun.

[The-Sir]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: charlie hornet

You: great jellied eels

You: orions master

You: YOGHURT PANTS

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

Well that was crap.

[Joe Le Taxi]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: JUSTIN BIEBER

You: Oh not you again

You: You thick American cunt

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

I got the same guy twice. I'm just going to keep on asking if it's Fuge.

[Steve Holt]

Negged for not trying it on with her.

 

It's usually the emotional wrecks who are easier to convince.

 

Holy shit you actually negged me for that. She's like 4000 miles away. There was never a chance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, as an afterthough, I'm not a completely insensitive prick.

[Steve Holt]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: JUSTIN BIEBER

You: Oh not you again

You: You thick American cunt

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

I got the same guy twice. I'm just going to keep on asking if it's Fuge.

 

I got that guy as well the idiot.

[joeyk]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hey hey !

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Maybe I should change my deodorant or something ?

[The-Sir]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hello

You: evening

You: or morning

You: or afternoon

Stranger: evening

You: depending on where you are in the world right now

You: good!

Stranger: Im in the states you?

You: great, even

You: uk here

You: i have really nice teeth

You: and you are porky and a little bit thick

You: i do like tea

You: and biscuits

Stranger: ....

You: the silence is deafening

Stranger: Sorry, you caught me off guard.

Stranger: With the porky and a bit thick thing.

You: you are though, arent you?

You: youre american

You: of course you are

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

This is quite fun actually.

[23_Carra_Gold]

I got somebody asking if I like Justin Bieber as well. So I said I am Justin Bieber.