Shite.......think theres a rat in the cellar!

[Guest]

Ali Campbell said he was gonna fix that rat. Get it fixed.

[cloggypop]

You might be lucky and it's just a poltergeist one of those rapey ones.

The put the willies up you type?

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

It's your missus' bit on the side

[Atticus Finch]

Cellar ? You're not related to Fred West are you ?

[Boss]

 

Y u try to kill me old skool tom?

[Bjornebye]

Nothing a bottle of gin and a box of matches wont solve.

[Byrnie]

I wouldn't panic. It's probably just a super rat.

 

[A Red]

At a moment like this I wonder what Nye Bevan would have done and i'm pretty sure he would have shat in his pants

[cloggypop]

He'd be safer doing it in his kecks for sure

 

[Anubis]

[General Dryness]

Get a Panther

If he lived a bit closer he could borrow Charlie. Which is the next best thing to a panther. If its smaller than him, he will catch it, and he will eat it. The fat fucker.

 

[Nunavut Patrick]

Only a matter of time before he gets bubonic plague.

 

Its not the rat that gets you, its the rat shit.

[Evelyn Tentions]

One female rat can have 150,000 descendents in a year.

Either plan on building some sizable extensions to your house or get down to your local hardware superstore.

You have 2 choices - poison 'em or trap 'em.

Lots of different poisons which you put out and let the rat do the work.An old fashioned homemade poison is a mixture of plaster of Paris and peanut butter. Problems are that the twats tend to die somewhere inaccessible and give off a horrendous aroma for a while. 2 types of trap. All sorts of kill 'em traps from the old fashioned to high tech finger safe jobbies. Means you have to get rid of the fuckers. Best baits are peanut butter or that revolting soi dissant cheddar cheese stuff that comes in a jar ( if you're extravagant, a mixture of the two) Wear rubber glove while you bait and set the the traps to stop putting human scent on them. You'll probably want to keep the rubber gloves for disposal time. Catch them alive traps cost more and you have to go to the trouble of transporting them somewhere to let them go or chucking the whole thing in the nearest pond (for rich bastards only). I don't know J*s* Mo*rin*hos home address, but it would be an excellent release point, they'd be right at home.

 

Sent from Australia - overrun with the fuckers since James Cook