Definitely true things you've heard about Footballers

[Trumo]

Leroy Fer believes all the stories on this thread are made up.

[Trumo]

Brad Friedel holds the distinction of being the youngest person ever to complete a lap of the Indianapolis Speedway track. He did it on his tricycle as a 4 year old.

[Megadrive Man]

Robbie Earle only agreed to play for Jamaica on the basis that he would get a free holiday there for the following twenty years. Every year without fail,once back in England he makes the same Jamaica? No she came of her own accord joke about taking his wife to the Caribbean. 

[Trumo]

Former Chelsea trainee Nortey Nortei has had recurrent problems with his left ACL, but his other knee's a-good.

[Dr Nowt]

Dejan Lovren means "Divine wind" in Croatian.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Chris Kirkland is a grand master at Hungry Hungry Hippos.

 

Arda Turan owns 43 Morris Minors.  None of them work.

 

Wes Brown's pre-match ritual involves singing The Flower Song from Carmen whilst AC Slatering.  He did it once, as a teenager, and then proceeded to have a game in which he wasn't fucking awful.  He keeps trying in the hope that this superstition will work once more.

 

During the summer, Carlton Cole occasionally reads the Shipping Forecast on BBC Radio 4.

[Trumo]

Former Scotland and Man Utd clanger-dropper Jim Leighton used to suffer from panic attacks whenever he turns towards magnetic North.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

• Surprise Surprise, 2002 World Cup and Blind Date star Ronaldinho Gaucho has died aged 72, it was announced today.

Showbiz legend Ronaldinho, who also had two number one singles at the start of a career stretching over 50 years, died in Spain.

A Spanish police spokeswoman confirmed today that Ronaldinho had died at his Spanish home in Estepona on the Costa del Sol.

She said: “I can confirm the death of Brazilian national Ronaldo de Assis Moreira, aged 72.”

“We are still awaiting autopsy results but everything at this stage is pointing towards his death being the result of natural causes.”

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Nicky Butt killed Cecil the Lion.  When he realised that there would be negative publicity, his agent advised him to pay a fall-guy, Walter Palmer, to claim to be the shooter.

[Preston Red]

Jordan Henderson still wears his school technology apron under his kit when he plays football. Upon leaving the pitch, he turns it around undoing the waist tie and pretending it's his SuperHendo cape.

[SammyAftershave]

due to the onset of old age bearded former European cup winner and Villa star Peter Withe is often mistaken for the the fuzz that surrounds a ladies tuppence on most Birmingham high streets.

[KMD7]

Igor Biscan is the God of Hell Fire.

[Dr Nowt]

Didier Drogba has been claiming the High Rate Mobility component of Disability Living Allowance since 2005.

 

He attends each interview wearing a metal brace on both legs and a plaster cast on his neck and tells them the last time he did any exercise was playing ping pong in 1983.

[alles ist gut]

Harry Kane's dad is Guy Smiley, puppet gameshow host from Sesame Street.

[Paulie Dangerously]

The Da Silva twins of Man Utd fame had to be surgically separated at birth as they were joined at the arsehole

[Trumo]

Andoni Goicoetxea - the 'Butcher of Bilbao' who once broke Maradona's ankle - used to host pyjama parties once a month at his hacienda up in the hills overlooking the city.

[Trumo]

Tony Moanero was at Wembley for the Euro 96 semi final between England and Germany. He waited near the tunnel to get autographs from the German players, but they said to wait near the coach. He eventually got autographs from Klinsmann, Moller, Babel, Sammer and the rest of the squad, but he never heard from Kuntz.

[Trumo]

Ex-Leeds slaphead right back Danny Mills has taken a shit at every McDonalds and KFC in the North West. He's also tried every Burger King but somehow always ends up being constipated. Must be something to do with a massive Whopper.

[VladimirIlyich]

Paul Stewart regularly challenges locals to drinking contests in his local boozer. He once drank so much Vodka that he was rushed to A and E with a severely charred rectum after he did a machine gun fart.

[TheHowieLama]

Some are gay.

[VladimirIlyich]

Some are gay.

Name names.

[cloggypop]

I heard that up to 3 of the England women's team are heterosexual.

 

[Bjornebye]

Sue Smith once got fingered in class at school. By a fella.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Rob Jones's face is actually on the back of his head, fortunately he was born with his head on back to front.

[SammyAftershave]

Sue Smith once got fingered in class at school. By a fella.

 

Was she aware of it?