Advice please on how to kill a dog.

[Elmyn Noos]

Tips needed please. I have a dog. It's a 1 year old chocolate labrador. I hate him. I want him dead. How would one go about killing a dog without raising the suspicions of the do-goody animal loving freak brigade, which unfortunately includes my wife and kids? Would crushed aspirin do the trick?

 

Any advice gratefully received.

[jonnybastard]

Leave a massive chocolate bar where the dog can steal it. Thieving bastard will give itself a heart attack.

[Acid]

Take him on a 'walk' and drop him off a bridge or cliff. Dog's can't swim, that's just a myth.

[Jairzinho]

Have you considered killing your wife and kids as well?

[coop]

Get TomR round to dry bum it to death.

[Champ]

Tips needed please. I have a dog. It's a 1 year old chocolate labrador. I hate him. I want him dead. How would one go about killing a dog without raising the suspicions of the do-goody animal loving freak brigade, which unfortunately includes my wife and kids? Would crushed aspirin do the trick?

 

Any advice gratefully received.

 

They're everywhere, mate. Even now (some on here maybe) they'll be plotting your own agonising death for even uttering such grievous thoughts. Watch your back. You have been warned

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Kick it's face off

[Lee909]

Have you considered killing your wife and kids as well?

 

This does sound the best answer.

Dogs only live 10/15 years,kids could be around until YOU die.Id take no chances myself.

[AVEEZ]

They're everywhere, mate. Even now (some on here maybe) they'll be plotting your own agonising death for even uttering such grievous thoughts. Watch your back. You have been warned

 

I would count myself as one such person.. be warned Noos if anything happens to that pooch I'll be round to grass you up faster than you can say Chocolate lab!!

 

What's the poor pooch done now?

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Sell it to some koreans for dessert. Mmmmm. Chocolate Labrador

[Lee909]

I'm guessing the dogs been eating its own crap then liked Noos.

Labs seem to have a horrible obsession with eating crap.

[Bjornebye]

give it cocaine.

[Pony Princess]

Bum his head off

[Elmyn Noos]

I have been trying to like him for a year now, but every little thing he does pisses me off. He's a disgusting obstinate pointless waste of dog food. The last straw has come when I actually found time in my busy schedule to take him to the park the other day, so I did, instead of taking myself to the gym, which is what I would have preferred to do. When it comes to home time, I go to put him on his lead and as I have hold of his collar, he tries to bolt. I lose my footing temporarily and slip, jarring my back which is now utter agony. So, thanks to exercising the dog instead of myself, there'll be no sleep, gym or footie for me for at least a month.

 

I hate this dog. Really hate him. Seriously, if I could get away with killing the cunt I wouldn't hesitate.

[robbiefowler9]

Insulin.

[Strontium]

This is something a former colleague of my father's, who shall remain nameless, did.

 

He was being kept awake by the neighbour's dog barking at all hours of the night and this was going on for weeks and weeks. So he started secretly feeding it meat laced with laxatives, with obvious results. Eventually the owners had the mutt destroyed.

 

This is one of those that probably works best on someone else's dog rather than your own, but I'm sure it can adapted. Good luck x

[L19red]

Dog 1 Noos 0, you are being outsmarted by a canine.

[Melchett]

Shithouse Dog AIDS.

[jonnybastard]

Take it down down the canal with your wife and kids, tie a couple bricks to it's neck and throw it in. Explain to them that it's a harsh lesson in what happens if you get yourself a dog and then can't be arsed to train it properly.

[Remmie]

This is something a former colleague of my father's, who shall remain nameless, did.

 

He was being kept awake by the neighbour's dog barking at all hours of the night and this was going on for weeks and weeks. So he started secretly feeding it meat laced with laxatives, with obvious results. Eventually the owners had the mutt destroyed.

 

This is one of those that probably works best on someone else's dog rather than your own, but I'm sure it can adapted. Good luck x

I find this in a little poor taste from a fellow Vegetarian Stronts.

[Elmyn Noos]

I find this in a little poor taste from a fellow Vegetarian Stronts.

 

I don't plan to eat him.

[A Red]

Chocolate labradors are a boisterous breed. Buy a frisbee and go for a cliff top walk.

[Flying Pig]

Wait for it to grow old and it will die on its own accord.

[Strontium]

I find this in a little poor taste from a fellow Vegetarian Stronts.

 

 

The guy who did it wasn't a vegetarian.

 

Anyway, if you want to save the lives of animals, surely you should be pro-killing dogs? Dogs being carnivores and everything, your average dog must eat hundreds of animals every year.

[Pony Princess]

Patient: "Doctor, I feel like a dog on a motorway"

Doctor: "Hmm.. I think you are in danger of getting run down...."