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If it hasn't been consumed by anyone on here it can fuck off.

It actually makes me a little sad to think it’s been 4 years in a perverse way, I can’t bear the thought of him not being our manager. Yes, we’re absolutely fucking boss, our best team in 30 plus years, reigning European champions, looking like we have our best chance to finally deliver the holy grail. I’ll never forget those days in October 2015 when it became apparent that we were getting him, it was like Christmas as a kid again. Those interviews and press conferences, he was even better than I imagined, the first few games I was in such awe of him, now I am in even greater awe. I genuinely love you Jurgen, please never leave us.

Just saw a stat that said Bayern have scored more goals in England this season than Everton have.

Its worrying really. Clearly something is wrong in your life when you are going to that level to explain a football result.

Unreliable update... Harry Wilson : Played 79 minutes in Bournemouth's unlucky loss to Arsenal. Now away with Wales. Ben Woodburn: Carried off after 14 minutes during the 2-2 draw between Oxford United and Accrington. Diagnosed as a fractured fifth metatarsal; probably out until at least January. Not now away with Wales. Marko Grujic : Played the full 90 as Hertha beat Fortuna 3-1 for their third win in a row. Not now away with Wales, or Serbia for that matter. Loris Karius : Narrowly failed to keep a clean sheet against Wolves in the Europa League on Thursday, then did actually manage one at home to the might of Alanayaspor, as Besiktas ran out 2-0 winners. Now away shopping. Taiwo Awoniyi : Unused substitute as Mainz secured a 2-1 win at hapless Paderborn. Not called up by Nigeria for their 'prestigious' friendly with Brazil in Singapore, obviously. Sheyi Ojo : After playing 90 minutes in the narrow Europa League loss to Young Boys, Sheyi then played 74 against Hamilton, without any direct involvement in the five goals put past Tranmere legend Owain fon Williams. Not called up by Nigeria, still less England. Nat Phillips : Started Friday's Second Division game for Stuttgart against Wehen in the absence of Badstuber. Lasted 71 minutes in the 2-1 home defeat. Liam Millar : Played 90 minutes for Kilmarnock in the 1-0 win at Hearts. Managed to avoid getting snidely kicked in the head this week. Now away with Canada as they prepare for their grudge match with the U!S!A!. Rhys Williams : His scheduled game for Kidderminster Harriers was postponed due to a waterlogged pitch, allowing him to get off early to join up with England Under-19s. Currently NOT playing 'knock-door-run' with Curtis Jones outside Bobby Duncan's room, no siree. Shamal George : Kept a clean sheet in a competitive match for the first time since (checks notes) August 2017, as Marine scraped home 6-0 against Mossley, whose striker Adam Morgan will look back and think that he might have done better. Kamil Grabara : Having referred to them as 'winless Huddersfield' above, they have won both their subsequent games, with Kamil keeping clean sheets against Stoke City and (perhaps less predictably) Hull City. Now away with Poland Under-21s.

It’s like the Butterfly effect...if a kid slips in the shower will it result in the fire bombing of an estate agent and murder of a tiler?

Some of the things that HAVE been consumed by anyone on here can fuck off too.

Never realised Mook’s a chef.

Only six eggs? Pathetic. That’s not a breakfast, it’s a mid-morning snack.

Fuck the beans and potato shit off and use fresh tomatoes rather than canned and I would have ago at that. Unfortunately the ocean of beans makes it fit only for inserting up the chefs arse.

So a load of twats in a room then.

He just typed into the Born not manufactured mainframe computer the following formula: Kopites are spawny gobshite tellycapping Norwegian diving twats and multiplied it by 1=20 then divided it by the ratio of locals to tourists at each home game and squared it by the amount of times they would have won the European cup if they hadn't have been banned. Add that to the amount of steds James Milner takes per week then put an octopus on the graph to see where it stopped.

We only talk about Everton because they’re from the same city as us. If they were based anyone else in the country, we wouldn’t have given them a second thought for the past 30-odd years.

because Utd and Arsenal are not as good as people think and Spurs are in free fall. Just because you have 2 CBS means nothing, the RS have one in essence because the others are garbage. and there enough creativity in that team to easily create a multitude of problems for teams, we all know we do not have a top slotter to score but that does not stop chances being created, which we don’t. The fact that they’re being deployed wrong is the issue mikeh72 Player Valuation: £70m 43 minutes ago New Add bookmark #11,971 Take Aubameyang out of that Arsenal team who buries every single half chance he gets, and they are actually no better than us at all, I will die on this hill Did he post that about us only having one non-garbage CB the day Matip was voted PFA Player of the Month for September?

Missed a trick there. He needed to call that upper quadrant "Corrupt and Lucky".

When it comes to being stupid enough, never discount Florentino Perez.

Agreed -- no need for these anonymous whistleblowin brekkies. Things needed for posting -- photo, name of venue, price Suggested - keys, lfc mugs Optional - conker, footwear

Tony Mulhearn who passed away Monday aged 80 "It was traumatic to be thrown out of office by (Margaret) Thatcher and the district auditor, out of the party by Kinnock and out of my job by Murdoch. But to upset Thatcher, Kinnock and Murdoch – I must have been doing something right!”

DanDan might be MIA but he should definitely put £500 on Chisora, might get a tenner back if the odds are good

Everton should have plumped for the sensible option of the land by Stonedale in Crocky / Fazak right by the East Lancs , rather than the Hollywood option. Their usual hubris and vast overrating of their place in the firmament has hobbled them once again.

All hail the full English salad

I believe it's on his birth certificate.

I’ve spent just over two weeks working on the repatriation. Shit circumstances but the job done by everyone at the CAA in getting all the people home was miraculous. Sadly the media were only keen to promote the negative experiences a minority had. Great to see that the shops have been picked up today, I hope as many people as possible are back in employment ASAP.

He's training for Tim Witherspoon by the looks.

If we get to the last three games and we’re 10 points in front I might start to believe that we’re in with a shout.

Judging by the eggs I reckon we've found Ardja's youtube channel.

I spent the first couple of months worrying he was going to get fed up with all the cryarsing about signings and people leaving the ground with about 10 mins to go and jack it in. It’s madness that he come here when you look at the state we were in. Try not to worry about when he leaves. It seems obvious it’s going to be at the end of his current contract but it doesn’t matter. Just enjoy every second of him being here because I doubt we will see anything like him again.

I'm not sure any chance for Calvert-Lewin counts as an "expected goal".

Hope for that guys sake she didn't have a dodgy curry last night..... Or maybe he does...Each to their own and all that

Best Pie rant in ages.

Letting del Bosque go ranks as the second most deranged dismissal in the history of football, after Ronald Koeman getting fired for having red tinsel on his Christmas tree.

It's people like you that give tradesmen a bad name.

Tweet like a BBC political journalist.

Brownies, cookies, cakes, whatever. Cath makes Paul Hollywood look like a rank amateur.

It's time we renamed this thread "The films Vlad doesn't like and the actors he's not heard of". To be fair we could rename the TV show one similarly too.

No brainer to keep him for another year, the fella is fucking bullet proof. Was absolutely sensational against MK dons and Leicester. Seamlessly slots in at LB against Barca in CL semi. He’s fucking boss, give him another deal.

And I thought the Armenian genocide was the worst horror perpetrated by the Turks.

Are they really? As I and other people have pointed out there are other teams that had far better squads and managers and weren't destroying teams like they are. A Man United teams containing VDS, Evra, Vidic, Ferdinand,Scholes, Anderson, Fletcher, Carrick, Park Ji Sung, Nani, Ronaldo, Rooney, and Tevez didn't do as well as Liverpool are. Look at the previous City and Chelsea teams, they're better in terms of squad than Liverpool. So it's either the other teams are rubbish, Klopp has figured out some magical training method, that makes a squad of players able to play almost every game and not get tired or something dodgy is going on such as drugs. Man City are a great side, but there are no average players in their squad, all of them are world class, that's not the case with Liverpool. I don't know how an average player such as Milner has suddenly, become a world beater towards the end of his career in a position he never originally played in. It also helps when goalkeepers give you goals and referees give you penalties in the 95th minute. I expected them to get a last minute goal against Leicester, it's like a Hollywood movie watching them. The problem this brainiac has overlooked is that a team of 'great' players don't guarantee a great team. The best teams are,errm the best 'teams.' They are better than the sum of their parts and play for the team rather than simply themselves. They also have managers who are the epitome of their teams,hones,hard working and want to win every game.

I reckon cloggy slept a Pete Prices and this what Pete made for him the next morning.

What boggles my mind is that we all had ridiculous expectations for him - and he's exceeded them.

Start a ' Chubbbychaser ' one Josef. I don't like thin girls but Kelly has gone a bit too big for my ideal.

You shouldn’t really get annoyed at it. It’s funny seeing Man Utd fans reduced to creating a congrats thread hoping to jinx us.... 8 GAMES INTO THE SEASON.

Good article on City’s tactical fouling amongst others. https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/soccer/english-soccer/ken-early-guardiola-s-radical-collectivism-faces-sternest-test-1.4042037?mode=amp

The boomuda triangle

i am Gunnery Sargeant Hartman

My arse is going reading that.