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Can imagine Big Virg being a doorman in Amsterdam back in the early nougties while 2Unlimited were playing. You'd be trying to get in stoned but he'd just be stood there silent with his arms crossed, wearing a knee length leather jacket, strobe lights occasionally illuminating his stoic features, all to the sound of 'techno techno techno TECHNO.'

This will end well... https://twitter.com/ronaldkoeman/status/1079106930075992065?s=21

I liked the way BT put a graphic up showing how Arsenal haven’t lost after going ahead and two minutes later Bobby was putting us 2-1 up.

A few points I'd like to make about this big pile of steaming horse shit : 1) We didn't steal the name of the city. We took it because despite being 14 years our senior, nobody associated with their club had the foresight to take the name of the city or use the Liverbirds as their clubs emblem. And went with a suburb of Liverpool and a pissheads lockup instead. It's taken them over a hundred years to realise the mistake they made, so much so that they are now trying to claim they own the city because they use a couple of office blocks in the Liver building, their majority stakeholder has a share in the building and the fact they've turned the Liver building blue. BELLENDS 2) "They killed those poor Italian lads" - Oh really? And what of the French, Belgians and the poor Irish lad who was killed? Are they not worthy of a mention? No, of course not. Because they don't really give a damn about them. If they did they would know not every single victim was Italian, nor were they all male. 3) Yes, some of our fan base sung songs about Munich. And yes sadly some continue to do so. And it's deplorable. But so did the Evertonians, along with quite a few other fan bases at the time. Leeds' fanbase being another who used to sing about it and some continue to do so. 4) Despicable racism - No mention of "Everton are white", "Niggerpool" or John Barnes having to back heal a banana thrown at him in the Merseyside derby then...PRICK. 5) And if any fanbase is in need of being purged, its the bitter, deranged, lunatic element of the blues that need purging. For the good of football, the derby and the city of Liverpool. It needs to happen.

I’ve always been grateful for la sécurité sociale, as the French equivalent of the NHS is known. Some of the best general practitioners around and a plethora of specialists. They know how to deal with stress, nerves, insomnia, irregular heartbeats, etc., etc. as well as anyone. Well, at least I hope they do, because I’m going to be needing them over the next six months. I thought this would be enjoyable. But it’s not really, is it? Maybe that’s because I’m a miserable old sod or maybe it’s just a defence mechanism against the inevitable disappointment that we’ve become used to – in terms of the Title at any rate – in the last 30-odd years. Whatever it is, the “enjoyment” is ephemeral – when we go close, when we score, when I engage in a flurry of WhatsApp messages after the game. And then, when the lights go out and you’re waiting for the next game, three days later, looking at the different permutations, a thousand scenarios going through your mind, you realise that the next five months are going to be unbearable. Millions of Reds’ daily existence and possibly state of mind dictated to by what goes on during those 90 minutes… In the last few days Klopp has tried to douse the fires of optimism. And while you can’t blame him for that, you also can’t blame Reds for believing our time has come (again). Of course, there’s plenty of drivel too: I saw someone refer to us as “Champions-elect” last week. But most of the enthusiasm is justified based on a) years of pent-up hope which is looking more and more justified and b) our first half of the season. I did a piece for the site at the start of the season and I mentioned that I couldn’t believe the optimism going into a new season, mainly because we had finished 25 points behind City! To make up that gap, we would have to effectively win NINE GAMES MORE than last season, assuming they maintained their level. We are on course to do that: we’ve won 16 out of 19, as against 21 out of 38 for the whole of last season. City can only get to 100 points if they win the rest of their games. So, the optimism – with the hindsight of half a season – was well founded. I don’t know if it was blind faith in Klopp and this team or some solid reasoning or a bit of both, but whatever it was, I wish I were more like those Reds! The other reservation I had was our goals against column, as I wrote at the time: “From 1.33 goals a game conceded in his first season, we progressed to 1.10 a game in 2016-2017 and to 1 last season (2017-2018). The hope is that Alisson will finally win us points. We haven’t been able to say that for years; decades, perhaps. When was the last time we would say a keeper was worth X number of points a season to us? Often, it’s been the opposite: they’ve cost us points and more recently trophies. The plus/minus on that front will go a long way to dictating our season. I’ve said it before: Salah, Bobby and Sadio (and maybe even Daniel now!) can’t be expected to go to the well week after week. They need to know that ONE will be enough sometimes. Again, this is an area in which we’ve progressed immensely. In 2016-2017 we kept 11 clean sheets, last season we were up to 18. We’re going to need to produce those numbers this season to sustain a Title challenge and all the while be as prolific up front as we were last season.” Ask and you shall receive! Alisson has been a revelation, one or two faux pas aside, but that comes with the territory with him. Virgil has just got better with every game and has also made everyone else better. 12 clean sheets out of 19 tells its own story. We concede an average of a goal every 244 minutes, essentially a goal every three games! And we’ve managed to do all this while still averaging well over 2 goals a game. We may not be as exciting as we were last season, although there are signs that this could be changing, but we are certainly a more clinical outfit. That Klopp has managed to do all this while having to contend with numerous injuries – Trent, Joe, Lovren, Keita, Hendo and Milner have all been out at different stages – is to his eternal credit. His man management, notably of Fabinho, has been just right. And his signings have improved us – no given in terms of Liverpool managers over the years. Shaqiri was a steal and the bargain of this team. Apart from The Great Andy Robertson. I hoped at the start of the season to improve on last season’s total of 75 points. That should be doable now! But things can change very quickly. City have had a blip, one from which they could roar back. Spurs, since losing to us, have won 12 out of 14! The next month will tell a lot. If, after our next five games, we are sitting on 60 points, then I might start believing. And making medical appointments. John Brennan View full article

I feel like I’ve drank myself into 1982

Breathing.

Imagine being a grown man so obsessed with a rival football team that you end up topless, ranting and videoing yourself cracking eggs over your head in your fucking kitchen.

One for the shiteness of modern football thread, but why anybody who can use a knife and fork without damaging themselves should give a flying fuck what any of those Arsenal TV cretins thinks about anything is completely beyond me.

Is there anything more depressing for Arsenal defenders than the oncoming glare of Bobby's teeth under lights?

I thank you!

This is why I pray that we win the league. It will genuinely end most of them. Grown men will cry, wet themselves and fly into a homicidal rage. The Everton wives should be evacuated to the Lake District. They never ever shut up about us. They just go on about things that happened a hundred years ago and throw in the odd irrelevant opinion about their fans and club being more upstanding that them. I will never shut the fuck up about it if we win the league because that's all they have to beat us with, even though the irrelevant twats have won fuck all for years yet still think they are bigger than Real Madrid. Fuck them the stupid twats.

That Tim Martin cunt who owns Wetherspoons. I admire him saving some old pubs from demolition but just fuck off forcing your Brexit shite on everyone with your posters and magazines in your pubs. Just let me enjoy my bevie.

Spotty little cunt. What the fucks he got around his neck, his Mum's handbag.

Aims for Spike Lee, finds Will.I.Am.

He has just watched to much Spike Lee on the courtside seats at the Knicks games and though 'I wan't a bit of that, full club shop and big headphones and chat shit'

I felt like Obi Wan kenobi before when Alderaan gets blown up by the death star. I felt a great disturbance in the force when Salah got another penalty. It was if the bitter force multiplied a million times.

I can't tell if your stuff over the past 48 hours has been attempted mockery or if you're a giant quilt. We haven't conceded 2 goals in a single game in the league all season, and you think we're going to suddenly disintegrate and give up 3 in a half?

This guy is a legend already: "Sokratis has a little yap in Mohamed Salah's ear as the two teams walk off the pitch. The Liverpool forward ignores him but Virgil van Dijk isn't happy and comes running over to stop Sokratis hassling his teammate. Pierre Emerick-Aubameyang drags Sokratis away too."

Everytime I expect us to fuck up we don't. It doesn't compute and I genuinely don't know how to process it. My neurons are 38-years-old and simply aren't in the mood for finding new pathways.

First half in a gif:

Gino having a great game

There is pizza in the oven, I have wine - happy days!!

I thank you, twice.

It may well be, but the thing is he’ll change his opinion if we go on a bad run and finish 4th or something. ‘’I thought this would be enjoyable. But it’s not really, is it? Maybe that’s because I’m a miserable old sod or maybe it’s just a defence mechanism against the inevitable disappointment that we’ve become used to” if he’s not enjoying know, god help us when it goes a little bit tits up. if he cant enjoy what’s going on now, and he jumps on the managers back after a bit of a shitty spell, he may as well pack it in. We all cant believe we are we are and I think most of us don’t really believe we can stay there. But it is and we are and it’s fucking great, it’s great because it has been so unexpected. I keep waiting for us to slip up, the Derby, Bournemouth, Burnley away, the Mancs, Leics away, Arsenal,and Chelsea away, City at home. And the slip ups ain’t happening. Is fucking brilliant. If you can’t enjoy that, and then jump on the managers back after a shitty spell (last season) then he may as well pack it in.

Constantly going on about Netflix. Saying “excited for” instead of excited about. Grown adults boasting about their Christmas present “hauls” on twitter. I couldn’t give a shit how much your wife/girlfriend/ma spent on you, you silly cunt.

Agreed. I think I speak for everyone when I say we would be delighted to see Rangers win the league.

Indeed, reckon I'll remember that for future pub quizzes. Most goals scored, also (in England at least) most goals conceded, most draws and most losses. But not most wins.

David Coleman was right. Goals DO pay the rent.

I don't whats sadder , the shite that some bellends post on GOT or reds that get incensed about it . The majority of blues are just scousers like most of us that have the misfortune to support the wrong team although some on here would have us believe they're all the devils spawn. Have some perspective ffs.

State of this bellend

Balls on the line. Don't lose. Not arsed about my record starting match thread. I just want my/our team not to lose. Fucking come on Reds!!!!!!!

Good to hear Oh, Campione and Poetry in Motion given an airing today - songs that are connected to two nearly seasons. I hope we can reclaim them as victory songs. Also heard A Liverbird Upon My Chest - my favourite. Great atmosphere - it must be fantastic in that ground at the moment.

Kate Bush knows.

More of the same lads, I want to enjoy ArsenalFanTV later

SALAH AKHBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fam. Blud.

My heart rate has been over 100 bpm for the last 15 mins. Not able for this season. Fuck sake.

Continually posting negative stories about transgender issues, constantly posting negative stories about Muslims. Yeah, no issue with them at all.

Quiz show contestants who say “sorry, before my time, that”. Have these thick cunts never heard of books?

Quite. I'd almost certainly be in prison. Cup of tea > Gram of beak. Everyone was single or, at least, in a relationship that didn't really matter. The idea of going out with the intention of getting pretty drunk, all with girlfriends just seems like a complete waste of time. Properly British (or at least Northern European) thing this. Probably part of the reason we have so many fights on nights out in the UK. Nights out were primitive.

From the kids I got a box of wine gums, eclairs and some beard grooming stuff. From my family secret santa I got a Personalised OS Map of my local area to go exploring with the kids from my new GF (yes I have one and it’s going very fucking well) I got some Ugg slippers and a Tom Ford Aftershave

We'll go above them this season.

Yeah worked that out too Mal. In our first 4 seasons we scored over 300 goals but only 51 counted because the rest wasn't in division 1. Real established in 1902, Barça in 1899 and it goes on. No club like Juve or Bayern would get anywhere near the list because Serie A started in 1930 and the Bundesliga started in 1963. Desperate times call for desperate measures it seems.

We all have to bear in mind, we should not judge all Evertonians by the gold standard lunacy of DaveK. My in-laws are/were Evertonians. They exist on a different plain to young David. Most of humankind does, to be fair. At least Steve-O has some naive charm. His reductionist assessment of Liverpool's success is a thing of rare beauty, even rejecting the game of football, the thing that motivates him to actually post online, without irony or self-awareness, God love him.

McSupreme, your shoelace is undone.