The Ailment thread

[Champ]

You sure it isn't the whiskey?

Nah, but it would explain the hangover!

 

Not really. I'm all for equality and all that but its a bit of a man's drink , whisky, don't you think

[lifetime fan]

I've got a right shitty headache, just above my left temple. No where else, no apparent reason for it but it's fucking agony.

[Champ]

I've got a right shitty headache, just above my left temple. No where else, no apparent reason for it but it's fucking agony.

Dehyration? That's where I get them when I'm dehydrated anyway....

[memyselfandpie]

I get infrequent (thankfully) migraine aura. Basically, this is a migraine that messes with things such as sight and speech. When they happen its amongst the scariest things to happen to a person, I swear. All of the things that the body does that you take for granted suddenly stop working and you have no warning or anything.

 

The first one was especially frightening as I completely lost my speech and I didnt know what was happening to me. I wanted to say simple phrases, but nothing would come out, and I was only 15 too. The last one I had felt like I was having a stroke; loss of speech and comprehension (I could see words in a magazine and a part of me knew what it was but I could neither read it aloud or truly understand what it was) I just mumbled incoherantly. I also had pins and needles and numbness down one side of my body (face and arm). Inbetween I've had them where I've gone blind temporarily in one eye, or had a total loss of vision across the central portion of my field of view. Scary stuff indeed.

 

The weird thing is, the Aura aspect of the migraine is sometimes the only thing that happens. Sometimes there is no headache at all. When I was younger I would get the works; the Aura, the onset signal that the headache was coming (usually a sensitivity in the sinus area), a headache from the absolute depths of hell, then projectile vomiting, then... it would all go, within an hour or two.

 

I've probably had 10-12 of them in my life, in two stages separated by over ten years. The unpredictable nature of them makes them all the more scary, but they don't half make you appreciate your body in its healthy state.

[Charles Penrose]

I get infrequent (thankfully) migraine aura.

The first one was especially frightening as I completely lost my speech and I didnt know what was happening to me. I wanted to say simple phrases, but nothing would come out, and I was only 15 too.

 

The Jimmy Savile effect.

[Captain Turdseye]

Errmm, put some gloves on?

 

No good, there's little fiddly bits of work that would be impossible while wearing gloves.

 

I'm trying to exact revenge by pinging elastic bands at the boss's head. So far I've had two flying right over his shoulder and one hitting him on the back. I'm not the best elastic band flicker though and some of them keep pinging back and hurting my already sore hands.

[Evelyn Tentions]

I've got dozens of tiny cuts all over my hands from work. They're barely visible but they sting like fuck when I wake up in the morning, bending my fingers is a struggle. The pain subsides after I've had a shower. I can't say anything to my bird because she'll think I'm being a right tart. She'd probably be right.

 

Tip no 1

Don't have anything to do with lemon juice unless you want to know the exact location of every cut

[Evelyn Tentions]

Ahoy there, Cap'n

 

Had the usual 10 minute wait for the pharmacist to type a little label when I noticed they sell cans of spray on skin. Probably wouldn't stop new cuts, but might give the older ones time to heal.

Might be time to start muttering "Occupational Health and Safety" (or whatever the latest buzzword is) every time your boss is in earshot.

YNWA

[Stouffer]

I just hurt from being so fricking awesome.

[RJ Fan club]

Dry mouth, dodgy stomach, tired, bit of a headache and achy feeling like I've done 10 rounds with Tyson.

 

Could be a hangover, I'm taking no chances and staying in bed.

[Sugar Ape]

Reckon I've broken my little toe. Son of a bitch.

[G Richards]

Left hamstring very saw today. Didn't notice it yesterday but played in snow with kids so that was probably how it happened.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Got a bad ingrowing hair on my jaw line but I'm at the inlaws so haven't got my own gear to excavate

[Paul]

Got a bad ingrowing hair on my jaw line but I'm at the inlaws so haven't got my own gear to excavate

 

I feel your pain. In-growing hairs are fucking agony. Haven't had one in a while and can't explain why as I haven't changed my shaving routine.

 

What's this excavation gear you speak of though?

[Duncan Clench]

I've got some serious shoulder and neck pain that's been going on for years. It's just from sitting at a desk all day I think. Certainly haven't injured it.

 

Finally went and had it looked at last week. Myofascial Trigger Points are the cause. Basically knots in the muscle, and at least one of them is the size of a small Yorkshire village. MRI scan today, and if there are only one or two I can look forward to a steroid injection right into the lumps. Otherwise it's a lot of massage and physio to fix it. Weirdly hoping for the jabs because its fucking agony and I want it fixed!

[Champ]

And now I've got a bloody cold! Its been circling for a couple of days but seems to have set in properly this morning. Grrrr.....be nice to me!

[brucespanner]

And now I've got a bloody cold! Its been circling for a couple of days but seems to have set in properly this morning. Grrrr.....be nice to me!

 

You think that's bad?

 

I've been bed ridden since last Friday, been hospitalised, had a man stick a digit up my nether regions, been poked and prodded so fucking much, not eaten a proper meal until yesterday, had enough blood taken to restock the blood bank, no booze or goodtimes and there were no fit nurses on my ward!!!

 

Oh, the ignominy of it all!

[Champ]

You think that's bad?

 

I've been bed ridden since last Friday, been hospitalised, had a man stick a digit up my nether regions, been poked and prodded so fucking much, not eaten a proper meal until yesterday, had enough blood taken to restock the blood bank, no booze or goodtimes and there were no fit nurses on my ward!!!

 

Oh, the ignominy of it all!

 

Take note, I never said it was flu or any of that other male trait clobbers...it just aint pretty, that's all. And its snowing and I want to go out on my bike....

 

What's up with yer, anyway?

[brucespanner]

Take note, I never said it was flu or any of that other male trait clobbers...it just aint pretty, that's all. And its snowing and I want to go out on my bike....

 

What's up with yer, anyway?

 

Fuck only knows, tests ongoing, but it's something to do with my Kidneys not functioning correctly.

 

I'm going to go fucking crazy if I have to lie in bed any longer staring at the fucking walls.

[Champ]

Fuck only knows, tests ongoing, but it's something to do with my Kidneys not functioning correctly.

 

I'm going to go fucking crazy if I have to lie in bed any longer staring at the fucking walls.

 

This all sounds a bit grim for an 'ailment' thread. What do you have to lie in bed for?

[brucespanner]

This all sounds a bit grim for an 'ailment' thread. What do you have to lie in bed for?

 

It's kind of like my body is a bit broken and I can't/don't have the energy to do anything, pretty grim indeed!

[Champ]

It's kind of like my body is a bit broken and I can't/don't have the energy to do anything, pretty grim indeed!

 

I must be worse than I thought. I'm drinking hot chocolate just now instead of my ritual morning black coffee. Here, you can cosy up under this blanket with me for a certain sporting event this afternoon while we feel sorry for ourselves

[Captain Turdseye]

You're in there, Bruce!

[Sugar Ape]

You're in there, Bruce!

 

Yeah, but it sounds like he's got aids of the Kidneys. Could be contagious, I'd avoid him if I were you Champ.

[Champ]

Yeah, but it sounds like he's got aids of the Kidneys. Could be contagious, I'd avoid him if I were you Champ.

 

Just so long as you arent wearing your white tux and jeans combo, bruce. It makes me cough when I laugh

 

Edit Anyway, havent you a posse to be organising?