If you were a mob boss or general criminal mastermind

[Jose Jones]

Where would you have your place of business?

Strip joint?

Underwater lair?

Please add some details for the GF.

[setreal]

Wall Street.

[Dr Nowt]

Where would you have your place of business?

Strip joint?

Underwater lair?

Please add some details for the GF.

 

Hollowed out volcano with an underground monorail.  Obvs.

[Jose Jones]

I reckon I would go for the presidential suite at a top notch posh hotel (in New York, obvs), that way I would look rather legit but also flash, could have supplicants shown in by liveried staff, etc.  Also there would be champagne/whisky/lobster lunches available at the click of a finger. 

Being a hotel suite I could then cut short a business meeting with a lesser boss who I was disrespecting when 3 naked hotties beckoned me off to the master bedroom etc.

[lifetime fan]

At my own golf course.

 

Plenty of time to play, walk and no one can use a wire. Plus it's a private members club so any 50 are not allowed anywhere near the place. It goes without saying it's a men only club with the only women gorgeous dolly birds working in the bar.

 

 

[Jose Jones]

Good choice Lifey.

[Dr Nowt]

Inside the volcano there'd be a Jabba The Hutt trapdoor in front of my throne, which sat over the pit in which Vanessa Feltz has lived, with just porn videos and kebabs for sustenance, starved of male attention for 10 years.  You fuck me off, you be gone and you stay gone.

 

I'd have a bikini-clad Kelly Brook on a short chain like Princess Leia, with crispy chilli beef and lemon chicken being poured into my mouth to order from buckets by those One Direction twats, who'd get tasered if they even so much as look at Kelly.

 

My petty grievances and whims would know absolutely no limits.  I'd be so drunk on power I'd be like Shane MacGowan crossed with Kim Jong-Il.

[lifetime fan]

Good choice Lifey.

 

Obscene joining costs and membership fees to launder money, plenty of woods to hide bodies, not visible to anyone from the public, perfect excuse to have and store chemicals...

 

Maybe I'm thinking about this too much.

[VladimirIlyich]

Downing Street because nobody would bat an eyelid at just another crook.

[TheBitch]

LF doing a number on us all here. Good thinking on his part.

I'd be all over the bing though. Tits and bourbon.

[Tony Moanero]

Taffs Tavern.

[Bjornebye]

Dave's office

[VladimirIlyich]

Stig,is your signature another of your drunken ramblings?

[Section_31]

The back of Colin Sykes in Speke. Poor man's co-op but with a decent sized warehouse and flies under the radar. Perfect for some felonious bullshit.

[Elmyn Noos]

If I were a criminal mastermind, I'd have as my place of business an unassuming 3 bed-room semi in a nice suburb on the outskirts of Leeds. Bada Fuckin Bing. 

[alles ist gut]

Stig,is your signature another of your drunken ramblings?

It's taken from a comment on one of Dave's ESPN articles... I don't think it's by Stig originally, but you never know...

[Alan Sex]

I would take over the Playboy Mansion after Hefner suddenly passes away not suspiciously at all.

[littletedwest]

25 cromwell street

[Bjornebye]

Stig,is your signature another of your drunken ramblings?

 

Ha no, the drunken ramblings of dave's biggest fan in africa 

[Trumo]

Wyoming.

[Acid]

Cyprus Creek

 

It would be a perfectly disguised town built for the workers of my energy company. The picturesque mountains would hide my lair, and the top would come off one of them so I could fire my doomsday machine.

 

I wouldn't have any packets for my sugar though.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Back room of a deli.

 

Top meat on tap

[aws]

What do you mean "If"?

[Stu Monty]

The moon.

 

We don't play.

[Lee909]