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Welcome to the new and improved TLW!

 

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Dave

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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/09/2019 in all areas

  1. 14 points
    When asked about Bramley Moore, he said: "I hate that dock"
  2. 13 points
    Started a similar thread ages ago but can't find it... Found out recently my grandad was on first name terms with Roger Moore. Me grandad was a railway guard and he had an 'office' basically a luggage cage and a desk. Moore used to come and sit with him because he couldn't be arsed with passengers mithering him, and they'd sit there for the whole journey talking about racing and footy and generally putting the world to rights. He also got sacked from his first job as a 16-year-old in Dunlops in Speke for 'persistent welly wanging'. Was boss my grandad. My dad fucked off when I was two and my step dad was a shithead, so my grandad was my dad and just generally fucking ace. Proper man's man but in an understated way. Stubble that could cut diamonds, old spice, and the DIY skills that could pretty much fix anything. Grandads in general a like dads without the bad bits. They have less the stress of work, realise what they've missed out on when their kids were growing up and are much more laid back and appreciative of their time with you.
  3. 12 points
    Went to the doctor this morning & had what he described as a seizure right there in front of the boy, I'm currently lying in hospital with pneumonia & pleurisy. The good news is that my missus believes me now.
  4. 12 points
    I was thinking with my cock for a spell over Christmas and was shagging a single mum I really should have ran from the first time I met her for a drink. I turned up at hers one night off my face as it was cheaper than a taxi back to mine and I fancied a shag. My memory goes completely from when I was in the taxi... Waking up the next morning with a stinking hangover I could tell she was in a piss with me so started to quickly get dressed and made my excuses. It was at this point she told me I’d let myself in with her spare key, demanded a blow job and then said I wanted her to squirt over my face. Apparently she said it felt different when when I was going down on her but still nice all the same. It wasnt until after a few minutes she realised I’d passed out and was snoring on her clit.
  5. 10 points
    My dad's dad was also a Labour councillor and from Cork. He was the first GP in Huyton and would have been MP for St Helens had he not been persuaded to stand aside by party bigwigs. Always a dutiful party man, he obliged. Years later he was very badly let down by his friend Harold Wilson. Huyton was in desperate need of a new hospital and my grandfather made it his personal mission to get one. Before he was party leader, Wilson had promised him that, were he ever in a position to deliver it, then he would have his hospital in Huyton. My grandfather secured an agreement from Lord Derby that land at Knowsley Hall could be used for the hospital, but Wilson - now Prime Minister - reneged on his earlier promise. That was pretty much the end for my distraught grandfather's involvement in politics, and he died a few years later, over a decade before I was born. My mum's dad I did at least meet a few times, though my mother was not especially close to her parents. He was not a particularly great character. A compulsive gambler, he would even steal from his children's piggy banks for betting money. He was nevertheless a clever man with a great love of plants who cultivated an impressive garden in what was otherwise a crappy house in Speke.
  6. 9 points
    Well I guess that’s chomsky’s career over, hard to see how he recovers from this
  7. 9 points
    My first experience of unisex toilets was on a school trip in Belgium. We were in some cafe in Bruges and I had some syrup pancakes for breakfast. Fuckers went right through me. Hurried downstairs to the toilet and the most beautiful flemish female specimen ever to sniff the froth off a Leffe was washing her hands. Anyway I was too occupied with emptying my body sharpish to acknowledge a woman there and locked myself into the cubicle. I waited a minute or so until I heard the door go and proceeded to deliver a full blown shitbreak from american pie explosion. I was sweating and everything. Next thing I heard my mates voice and asked him if he saw that fit woman who just left the bathroom. he just said "yeah". I then said something along the lines of "I'd love to fuck her" or whatever a 15 year old lad would say about such a beauty when I heard him start laughing. Turns out she had been there the whole time doing her make-up in the mirror or something and the door noise was him coming into the bathroom to wait for the cubicle. I refused to leave for about 15 minutes.
  8. 8 points
    He can do weekdays but isn't available evening and weekends.
  9. 8 points
    Think I’ve posted this before. My Grampher was a local labour councillor for decades and he and my Nan were invited to a garden party at Buckingham Palace. As a proud Cork man and a republican he initially refused to go until my Nan made him. My Nan and Grampher are in line to meet the queen, just as she’s approaching my Nan looks to her side to find my Grampher had done a runner. As she’s meeting the queen she can see my Grampher stealing cuttings from one of the queens rose bushes.
  10. 8 points
    He signed the petition because he felt the state should not determine historical truth. I believe that is right. Historical truth should be determined by academics and evidence, not the state. If the state becomes involved then it can be manipulated for political purposes. He did not sign the petition in support of Faurissons views. He was right to sign the petition. As regards "he claims that Holocaust denial has "no anti-Semitic implications"", then this is the reply that Chomsky gave to Kolodney https://chomsky.info/1989____/
  11. 7 points
  12. 7 points
    Both of my grandads were brilliant. Sadly, both died of Cancer when I was a kid. My maternal grandfather at 66 when I was 5 and my paternal grandfather at 69 when I was 11. Seems daft now but my maternal grandfather’s ambition was to take me for my first pint. He also had plans to take me on holiday, just he and I, for some proper grandfather and grandson bonding, once I started primary school and was old enough to appreciate it. My paternal grandfather was ace, too. He seldom drank, preferring a cup of tea and a biscuit. He loved Walnut Whips (in the days when there were two walnuts per sweet - one in the inside and one on top) and Cadbury Flakes. His favourite television programme was Antiques Roadshow, even though he never showed any inclination to buy or own antiques. He couldn’t stand James Bond films. His catchphrase was “James Bond - seen one, seen them all”. I wish I had a DeLorean, so I could spend a few more hours with them.
  13. 7 points
    Both my biological grandads died before I was born, while my parents were still children. My grandma remarried to a great bloke who is my grandad in every way that counts. Incredible fitness, last year him and his partner cycled from Leeds to Krakow on a tandem in a month. Not sure how old he is but over 80
  14. 7 points
    I know she's dead, but Amy Winehouse. 'Ooh I take drugs aren't I great, I won't go to rehab either.' Yeah now you're dead, well done dickhead.
  15. 7 points
    No disrespect to any Americans, but when it comes to safety and health regulations, if the choice is between morphing into the 51st State or agreeing to Europe's rules, then stick a baguette up my arse and call me René.
  16. 7 points
    Like a mildly tough Keith Chegwin
  17. 7 points
    Usher and Liz.
  18. 6 points
    She was elected because she's (supposedly) a Labour MP who was democratically elected by those same constituents because they want a Labour Govenrment rather than this shitstorm of one that the majority of this city want rid of . Her behaving like that and the fact that it's being retweeted by prominent Tory activists isn't making that likely to happen. Lets be honest Patrck Berger would get elected standing in Wavertree for Labour although him being parachuted into that seat wouldn't be as dodgy as the way she got it https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/crash-landing-for-labour-candidate-parachuted-into-liverpool-1951962.html
  19. 6 points
  20. 6 points
    My grandad is probably the main reason I'm not fucked up (I don't think). My dad was a bum, used to spend our rent money on guitars and bike parts and the like then fucked off. My step dad was a bum and extremely mentally unstable, and just a twat really. My grandad though sort of showed me that parental love isn't about big gestures, it was about the little things. Coming to pick you up from school early when you're sick, coming to watch you at sports day with a bottle of lemo and some crisps (even though you never win). Some of my happiest memories are of doing some reasonably mundane things with him. Going to walk the dog at Oglet shore and it started raining, so we built a shelter out of a car bonnet from a burned out car wreck, sat under it with his radio playing to wait out the rain. Going around arcades in Wales when we were on holiday, he'd be on the fruit machines and I'd be on the games, if I ran out of coins he'd give me some more from his winnings. He was reasoned, stable, reliable - everything those men weren't. Also unlike them he was a grafter and would bike it miles to work in the rain well into his 50s. And he just had time for me, unlike the others. If I ever have a kid that's what I'll do, make sure I just give them my time.
  21. 6 points
    Both died a long time ago. My maternal grandfather survived a political assassination attempt after the WWII in ex-Yu when grandma had to take one for the team. The assassin fired through the bedroom window but had wrong information about the sleeping arrangement so he hit grandma instead. Fortunately she survived, full of shot. They had two elderly spinsters living with them in the cottage and one of them, while they all panicked, on being yelled at "do something, she is bleeding", grabbed some kind of a washbowl and put it under the bed so the floor wouldn't get dirty. They lived like characters in some dark comedy.
  22. 6 points
    Grandads are boss. Agreed. Both of mine have passed on now like. My Dads dad died when I was about 6. The family used to call him (and still refer to him as) Pop. Union man , worked for the BICC Cables in Prescot for years. Big fat cigar smoker. Strict but apparently a very dry sense of humour. Season ticket holder at Anfield road, Kemlyn Road. Still got a picture of me, Pop and the boxer Brian London on holiday in Rhodes. Apparently I was punching Brian London because I heard he was a boxer. I was about 5. My mums Dad passed away a year and a half ago. The dreaded C. Lived a boss life, ex army, travelled the world all his life, owned a farm and a stationary business. Very well off. Keen golfer, absolutely loved it and spent a year as captain of West Derby golf club which was probably in his eyes the absolute pinnacle.
  23. 6 points
    I think you need to sit down. I’ve got some rather upsetting news...
  24. 6 points
    Being in the Common Customs Tariff is actually the best thing for the UK. What with the EU being the UK's biggest export market by far. Likewise, the best trade deals the UK can get is going to be as part of the EU. No big country is going to care to have a free trade deal with the UK. They are all likely to be one-sided in favour of the country with the clout. The UK would have to accept shit like chemically enhanced chicken from the US, massively long patent extensions on medicines manufactured in the US, dodgy milk powder from China, etc. in order to get anything through the door. The EU is a big enough bloc - the largest single market in the world - to be able to negotiate better deals. The UK on it's own would get massively fucked.
  25. 6 points
    I'd like to boil her knickers up in a big saucepan then stick the saucepan containing the knickers up Mook's arse.



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