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https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00gfzhq/blackadder-blackadders-christmas-carol

We're on our third quiet Christmas in a row - following Covid and then having a baby - due to my op, which I don't particularly mind. I can't travel far, so we'll have a small dinner here and open presents with the little one. We might call at a friends gathering later on. My folks came yesterday and we had an easy buffet tea and opened some presents, we'll do the same with the in-laws next week.

1. 2. A small cardboard box, lined with tissue paper, containing a handful of Quality Street, obviously taken from a large tin. 3. I was broke one year so I sent my mum a Teletext Christmas message.

And again this morning. Back to Cheerios tomorrow.

Cant believe it’s been nearly 15 years since I let off a stink bomb in my parent’s kitchen, on Christmas Day morning. It still freaks my dad’s nut out to this day.

Proper footy is back but little seems to have changed over the break. Sloppy goals conceded, more injuries and a disappointing loss. It's like we haven't been away at all. The defence of the League Cup is over after a 3-2 defeat at Man City that was as frustrating as it was entertaining. TLW Editor Dave Usher is joined by Julian Richards and Ian Brown to look back on this game and look ahead to the next one. View full article

I became a lot less anxious once I accepted that there was no real choice in the shitfuck that passes for democracy in this country. I just tick whoever isn't Tory then hope for the best. The treatment of any left winger since Foot should tell you all you need to know about who is allowed to lead this place.

It's like fucking clockwork. I honestly wish Starmer was a ruthless populist bastard, he just looks like a coward that got lucky with how shit the Tories are. I know governments lose elections rather than the opposition win them, but Christ he's going to kill the wave he should have been surfing in on.

I'm on a doctor imposed significant reduction in booze order for 6 weeks to try and isolate a liver issue picked up. I figured that I'll drink on Christmas and New year and then just knock it on the head, for the short term at least. Separately, but also recently, I had a chest xray and a small part of my lung isnt working properly, so I am an order to do enough exercise that I am gasping for air regularly. Therefore I have joined a gym. Pathetically I am especially irritated by the timing because I'll look like a new year, new me bellwhiff, who only does these things because its trendy. Not that bothered about it so far though I have only gone a few days. Just curious what others have replaced it with? So far really enjoying tonic water on its own. Got some Punk IPA AF which was alright, think I have had another brewdog one before which was better but forget the name. I think I am probably quite glad its doctor imposed in a way. My will power and motivation for weight loss and exercise doesnt seem to have any longevity when it does kick in, so this kinda forces my hand and now feel pretty confident I can do it without too much temptation. I know, its only 6 weeks but is incorporated into a lot of my social life and wind down time. I think changes in habits are a good thing.

So Kier is in the news talking about trans issues. With everything that's going on.... And sorry if I rattle little flouncy bollocks here but what the fuck is happening?! We have to vote for this shower of cunts just to get an even bigger out. The country is close to burning. It's never been this bad. This appeasing wanker without a backbone is going on about fucking shite. Fuck Labour. Starmer, Reeves, Streeting.... they aren't anything I ever align with. We are fucked.

1. Best present you’ve ever received. Andy Ruffell BMX 2. Worst present you’ve ever received. A 2nd hand AT-AT from a scabby uncle. 3. Shittiest present you’ve given to someone. A bottle of whisky to a mate who was trying to stay off the drink as he drank too much. It was what I usually got him so just went for the same. I just didn't think sensibly about that one.

Best was ATST. Worst - probably a packet of orange fudge from my mum a couple of years back. I've never given a shit prezzie as far as I know, as a matter of principle.

Wonderful, another thread that Strontium has turned into a discussion about himself. Just what the GF needed.

The Muppets' Schindler's List never got off the ground, sadly.

Festive Kylie

The 1951 Alastair Sim film is my favourite by some distance, though I do like the George C. Scott version.

I think so too. Hard for youngsters now to understand how important a band they where. They won best single in the NME with their first single Gangsters and won it with the last, Ghost town. A big award at the time not least because of the vast quantity of great music in them years. The images of Hall in the front of the car driving around Coventry in the early hours of the morning are the defining images of the time. Set against a backdrop of the pomp and grandeur of a Royal wedding on one side and deprivation, racial tension, mass unemployment and inner city riots on the other. It knocked Michael Jacksons one day in your life off top spot when being number one was a big achievement and stayed there for ages. The cultural and social impact of that record at that time can't be understated. As someone recently remarked after his death 'what the country needed was an army of Terry's but let's be grateful we had one' He seemed such a troubled but gentle soul. Like you I'm gutted he's gone.

Pickfords tree is up I'm a bit dubious far to much red on it though

When you turn over and that stupid option to start watching the programme from the beginning pops up. Fuck off.

The wife bought me one of those massive toblerones one Xmas and hid it in the loft. Found it in early December and started nicking some whenever she went out. She was fucking fuming when she found the empty box when she went to wrap stuff on Xmas Eve. Didn't help either that I found it hilarious and woke her up twice by bursting out laughing in bed.

I wrote in the signs you are getting older thread that you are genuinely grateful to receive socks as a present. Love it now, thought it was stocking filler shite when I was younger

Bald spot visible on most photos

Get out of my seat you fluffy prick.

Every thing wrapped up. Fuck christmas and let the arguments begin, I mean restart

That fucking Manc rat that threw a pie should’ve been charged with affray (bentos).

1. An Action Man with swivelling eyes. 2. A pair of pyjamas from Primark. Not that bad in isolation, other than they were the exact same pair the wife had bought me the previous year, and hadn’t noticed the one hundred or so times I’d worn them in her presence. 3. Bought the wife a gym membership after she’d not long since given birth to our first child.

Best was probably a 4 foot snooker table, the balls looked like marbles but it was hours of joy. I don't remember getting bad presents. Probably one of those tiny bottles of wine that barely fill a wine glass. I don't give bad presents, I'd rather give nothing than something crap.

Like a pound shop Ray Winston.

1. Super Nintendo with Starwing 2. Five twenty pence pieces in a sock 3. Christmas eve, hadn't got my sister a present, so I wrapped an unopened bottle of shampoo

Muppets one. Can't help but think its how Dickens ultimately envisaged his tale to be told. With a grateful prayer and a thankful heart.

Tube of seasonal Pringles Anderson Arroyo : Returned to the Alaves back line in their 2-0 home defeat by Levante. Could have done more to cut out the crosses from his side of the pitch that led to each of the goals. Booked in the first half, subbed off with twenty minutes left. Dropped for the next League game, another defeat at Malaga. Brought back for the Copa Del Rey tie at Merida, played all 90 in the 1-0 win, involved early in the move up the right flank for the goal. Did not have a lot of defending to do, either. Jack Bearne : In the starting line-up for Kidderminster in the FA Trophy replay at Fylde, and opened the scoring like this : Not sure who Bearne is gesturing to there. (Perhaps being called an Scouse bastard by some species of lower primate that lives in the arse end of Fleetwood, I couldn’t possibly say.) Anyway, Fylde equalised in the second half, and Bearne was subbed off in the last few minutes before Harriers won the ensuing shootout. A trip to Dorking awaits in the New Year. Conor Bradley : Played the full game in the EFL Trophy as Bolton saw off the MUFC Academy 4-0, including the fourth goal in stoppage time. Then put up another top effort back in the League in the 2-0 win over Exeter, scoring the first goal from ten yards out - with his weaker left foot - on his way to being named in the League One Team of the Week. Also missed a free header, but let’s not get too picky. Did not have a lot of defending to do, either. Owen Beck : Unused sub against MUFC, got about ten minutes against Exeter, squandered one decent opportunity when over hitting a cross in roughly the direction of Bradley. Did not have a lot of defending to do, either. Tyler Morton : Blackburn back on form in their winning trip to Norwich, and Morton created the first goal with his quick free kick that caromed off defender Ben Gibson and into the net. Also booked late on, but you need a bit of that. Rovers still third. Rhys Williams : Got 90 minutes for crisis-club Blackpool at Cardiff, a game that finished 1-1 despite the home team dominating possession and having virtually all the chances. Not at fault for the Cardiff goal, which came from a counterattack after a Blackpool set piece. The point leaves the Tangerines just 10 points off the playoff positions at the halfway point of the season, or third from bottom of the league, if that’s how you want to look at things. Leighton Clarkson : Two Old Firm games for Aberdeen in four days. The Celtic game saw the Dons set up very deep and unadventurous; Clarkson had their only attempt at goal in the first half, a free kick that didn’t really threaten. Subbed off with 15 minutes left, long before Celtic scrambled their winner. There was a more positive approach to the game against Rangers, even after Rangers went in front - at least until Clarkson put the home team 2-1 up early in the second half ( see Lee’s post above). Leighton came off with twenty-five minutes to play, and the visitors scored twice in stoppage time to keep them nine points off the top of the table. Aberdeen are still third, a further fourteen points in arrears. It will be a close thing for that automatic Europa League group spot.

Only one winner of this Tone - Alastair Sim.

Best thing he's done for the club: Got to love Sam Quek.

Fart spray was another Masters of the late 80s and 90s.

He has to go. You can't have a fourth choice centre back as injury prone and inconsistent (obviously linked) as he is. Even if there are some games where he looks very good. It doesn't make sense for him at his age either, The right back thing doesn't hold much water for me either. Trent plays if he's fit, and we bought this young Scottish kid to be his back up. Gomez, like Keita and Chamberlain, just need to be binned as soon as possible. We've spent less net on transfers than West Ham, Wolves and Villa over the last five years, so we could really do with putting an end to further hindering our ability to compete by ensuring the players contributing absolutely nothing are quickly jettisoned.

It kind of makes you wish for a targeted campaign where no innocents die but these inhumane cunts all get taken out. It's got to that point where I wouldn't blink at any of these bastards taking a round through the head.

Rodri kicked and pushed Carvalho in the first half. Free City Rodri pulled Fabinho (I think) back to stop a breakaway. Foul, no booking. Rodri lashed out at Fabinho with 5 minutes left. A booking. He has obviously taken the Fernandinho mantle of getting 85 minutes grace from referees. Agree, how the fuck did Gundogan not get booked for pushing Fabinho to the floor? They kicked the fuck out of our players and Carragher was lauding the ref allowing hard challenges (fouls in English). He is a God-awful co-commentator. Rambled on about the best league in the world crap all night and how wonderful de BRINE was. He really is a painful listen. We had some poor performers tonight but the ref was the worst on the pitch, by a mile. Oh and Manchester City are a bunch of cunts. Those two young lads have been molded well. Classless bastards

Seems a fair swap

Weird game. On the face of it losing 3-2 away to City with a sort of half strength team isn't the worst in the world. However, loads of our players were pretty shit. Senior players as much as the youngsters. You don't want to draw many conclusions from this sort of game, in the cup, after a long break, but it does feel slightly in keeping with the rest of the season. I would genuinely feel more positive about the season if Klopp chucked half a dozen of this lot in the bin in January.

Fartin McGuinness over here

That midfield tonight is one player off our first choice. If people look at them and don't think we desperately need improvements in Jan I must be watching different games. What is more, I don't think they even need to be that great to improve them. There is just zero pace and presence in there. If they have the ball they look ok but when they dont they get passed around, knocked off the ball and cannot keep up with players running.

Or on the likes of amazon prime when you pause a programme and play it again and information about the cast stays up so you press the back button and it takes you back to the menu. I know you are supposed to leave it to go off on its own but it always catches me out.

If you have something that can catch on something else it's guaranteed to happen. Wired earphones fuck me they are magnetically attracted to door handles, the amount of times I feel like I've been abruptly ripped from reality due to earphones catching is unreal.

My wife is in charge of the car. All insurance, the car itself etc..are in her name. She deals with everything. She was busy last week so asked me to arrange a service. I did, only to be told a few days later that they couldn't pick the car up as the MOT ran out in April!!!!!!

He was a moany cunt because nobody told Lucas that the dialogue he was writing or his directing was a load of absolute horseshit. His story has always been told better by somebody else directing and he’s the producer. The animated series of The Clone Wars totally changes the perception of him as character, and makes him the warrior that Obi-Wan talks about in A New Hope. Anakin’s story of how he crossed over wasn’t about him being an evil cunt to begin with, it was about how attachment and love, and not wanting to experience loss (which he had foreseen) again as he wanted to use his force powers for good. That fear (which leads to hate) ended up consuming him. Palpatine, did the same with a disillusioned Dooku, until Anakin was brought to his attention, but as Anakin was the more powerful (which the Jedi unknowingly brought to his attention), he manipulated him by making him believe he was able to save Padme. (I would have believed that myself for Natalie Portman if you told me that to be fair) and got him to kill of Dooku and him unwittingly becoming Sidious’ apprentice. Sidious is another brilliant character, evil to nth degree. He embodied Cuntiness to the nth degree. He was let down by the Order and their arrogance, and belief that the Sith is been wiped out for good. Unlike most other Jedi, he was taken when he’d already built an attachment to his Mother, and they basically told him to suppress it all, and ignore all his previous learned behaviour/emotions and when he had already experienced injustice. He’d been a slave all his life until he was “rescued” by Qui-Gon. Their inability to react to these injustices and how his frustration at how they didn’t react and they wanted to let the “Will of The Force” take place. Which meant loss of life or destruction of communities, as that’s what the force was meant to do. Pet nature take it course. Anakin didn’t believe that as he had the power to stop it happening. This frustration just grew and grew. With Qui-Gon being killed by Maul, and it effectively changed his future, as Obi-Wan ended up teaching him and wasn’t ready to train someone, Kenobi was rigid in his beliefs in the Jedi and wasn’t even a Jedi Master, compared to Qui-Gon who was at Master level, and with being a grey Jedi, this is why he rejected a seat on the council, and Dooku always felt he would have understood what Dooku was initially trying to do and helped the Jedi see the error of their ways. Mace Windu being an absolute prick and picking and choosing when he apply the law of the Jedi, in particular when it came to serving justice to Palpatine. He contradicts what they had told Anakin throughout his training by refusing to listen to him say that Palapatine needed to face justice by the courts/senate as anyone else would. For me he’s a brilliant character and George Lucas has a lot to answer for in how he ended up being portrayed by Christensen (not Hayden’s fault) as he directed him. The first 6 films are really all about Anakin’s journey arc of redemption and not Luke’s heroes journey.

I hate the wife shouting ' Come and have a look at this ' from another room. No, I need more data to see if I can be arsed.

Love this.

I'd like to see Messi performing like he has while spending half of each week in a binbag trying to sweat out coke and alcohol.

I’m still off the booze. Sleeping much better, lost about a stone and no longer so anxious every morning. The weekend will be a struggle but I will get through it. Onwards !