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Every chance of that happening going by your breakfasts, mate.

Maybe but I think Barry Wom's set his heart on Holly Willoughby.

What's so important about the top four, anyway? Getting into some glorified League Cup competition?

The best times to be a blue are normally June, July and the start of August. After that, it's just a shitfest. Sorry to any bitter reading this, June was a pretty shitty month for you lot. Never mind, it's the taking part that counts eh?

aRdja, get in here - I'll hold your beer.

We only played for 1/4 of the season Tel... we spent the other 3/4’s implementing new ideas preparing for the future, not trying to put together an immediate, yet unsustainable short term fix. Transfer that 1/4 of a season form into a full season and that is really achievable. Especially with the years preparation we have in the bank. We’re going to be right in the mix for a top 4 spot even if we don’t add to the squad. The fact that we have Silva, Brands and Mr Moshri’s backing ensuring we will add quality to our squad this summer just confirms it’s an absolutely outstanding time to be a blue. I haven’t been more excited going into a season for 25 years plus if I’m honest. No way is Boris a Bloo.

They don't have a European Cup though, the scruffy twats.

I knew there was mortar this than meets the eye.

They don’t recognise us as European Champions or the best team in Europe. Unless. They win a Derby next season when they will have beaten the European Champions and best team in Europe.

I wish I could turn my brain off like a switch at bedtime.

My sister came out with a good one the other day. I recently purchased a new t-shirt as displayed below from the club shop in town. Anyway my sister says “why didn’t you wear that when you were watching the final?” She felt suitably daft when I pointed out it would have been impossible to purchase said t-shirt ahead of the final.

Om

“Outstanding time to be a blue” That’s another one ticked off on the Blooos pre-season bingo card.

Went to Jersey on the sopranos tour, that's all I saw of it, seemed like a sunny runcorn with loads of bridges and trucks. They have 90% of the diners in the USA apparently. You should head down to the Pine Barrens to see if you can find Charlie Adam's penalty.

I was buzzing off it, then I showed it to my daughter and she said "they aren't even saying your name, it's not for you it's just what they send out to everyone". Me: "You couldn't just let me have it, could you?"

Nick Clegg said he thought Hiroshima was funny and SD defended the comment.

Definition of a danger fuck that one.

Neville just credited USA for their "experience" by playing the ball into the corner and keeping it there. You have to just put your hands up to that kind of tactical masterclass

England's womens team are the most Spurs-y side ever. They've both got a goal-getting gonk up front (Kane/White), a defensive lumbering oaf (Dier/Bright), and a headless chicken at left back (Rose/Stokes).

Why is it ‘brave’ for a professional to step up and take a penalty? That attitude is why English sport consistently falls short.

Juventus been busy in the transfer market Ramsey and Ribery. Could be a threat next season for old big ears!!!

Hypothetical punishments, sorry. Typo.

You’re so fucking weird, mate.

Yeah people only go to China for the money. I’m glad all the people that have come to England have only done it for a pure love of the game.

I don't care what John Henry needs, we need more players.

We should let Arsenal damage the relationship between club and player and then nip in and take him at a much lower fee than if we started negotiating ourselves. Zaha for £60m is a bargain even in these insane times. I like to judge players on how much shits they give me when we are due to face them. A game against Palace is a gimmie without him, with him in the team he is a 1 man attack that needs proper attention. Our gameplan against them carries a bit more caution when he is playing. Only Hazard and maybe Sane on his day gets me as concerned as this lad.

Such is the paucity of talent in that party, Chuka would actually be the best choice they could make as new leader. Stronts would be top 5. Davey and Swindon are both absolutely woeful

Prefer to keep mine switched off.

Leave it all on Get a smoke alarm to keep an eye on it all

So winning the Champions League means nothing, but they’re desperate to be in it for the money and the status? So winning it along the way would be meaningless as the trophy itself is. Moyes had a huge hand in the rise of bitterness and bile amongst their fans, under the watchful jealous tutelage of BK The Whopper. He achieved next to nothing as a manager there, yet it has been the Everton way for 30 years to laud failure, especially ours. When Donkey from Shrek is worshipped for being permanently injured and useless, as is Shrek himself for pissing off and coming back for another payday, then you understand their mindset perfectly. I would sooner give up the game if supporting my team meant being obsessed with another one to the point of madness. They watch us more than a lot of Liverpudlians do. It is both hilarious to see and unbelievable to behold.

The men that fought and died in D-Day are not the type of men that would throw a milkshake at Nigel Farage or attack old people from behind with metal pipes. I can tell you that for nothing.

As said he's put pressure on himself. He's been fantastic though and he's been like a lunatic defending and chasing down the opposition. Scored some fantastic goals too. I've got a feeling he'll be even better next season. Goal against Watford was magical. The touch with his right before hitting it with his left fooling the defence was so special.

Klopp worked pretty much the same model at dortmund. I guess they weren't as stats driven, but he had players brought to him, players sold on him and he managed to make it work. That's klopps skill. When the stats team had to make things work with Rodgers, they went and bought their players, he got some of his. We got nothing. They managed to keep their jobs because they are out of the limelight. The failing of our transfer policy under Rodgers was a failure on both sides. That's fixed, because klopp is in that very small tier of football man who can make things work. I'm sure he'll have a good crack of making this coming season work with less players and more games and he certainly won't bitch about it the way many other managers would. I am happy to accept we have a leader who is pretty much unique , the men around him have achieved fuck all on their own. I don't think Dortmund and Zorc have quite hit the same heights without him either.

He had two spells where his confidence was shot, early on in the season after first international break and then the 5-6 before burying against Southampton, a what a fucking goal it was too, one of my favourite moments of the season. He’s just a phenomenal player, 27 goals and you can genuinely feel and say he underperformed speaks volumes of his quality. 30+ next year.

The shites new home and away kit for 2019/20 season

The haters should hang their heads in shame after reading that masterpiece.

Neil Young’s setlist tonight in Germany 1. Mansion On The Hill 2. Powderfinger 3. Love To Burn 4. Alabama 5. Words 6. Bad Fog Of Loneliness 7. The Needle And The Damage Done 8. Comes A Time 9. Human Highway 10. Lotta Love 11. Walk On 12. Winterlong 13. F*!#in' Up 14. Cortez The Killer 15. Cinnamon Girl 16. Rockin' In The Free World 17. Powderfinger 18. Roll Another Number 19. Piece Of Crap --- 20. Like A Hurricane Powderfinger twice?! Fuck me. The setlist is perfect. I’m flying back off my holiday two days early to see the Hyde park gig. If that’s the setlist then they can bury me there and then.

"Ancient spirits of evil, transform this decayed form to BUMMMM-RAAAAAAAAHHHHHH the everrrr-liviiiiiiinnnnngggg!" Ahem. As you were.

This fascist accusation is something you throw around all the time. I dont think you have a clue about what it means other than in your head, if someone doesnt agree with you, they're a fascist You called me a fascist for wanting the rent paid direct to landlords for people on benefits that get into arrears. Fair enough disagree with me, but to call me that for wanting the state to step in and help people, something that could possibly be considered a socialist thing to do, makes you a bit of a twat. I love Rik Mayall but you are a fucking parody of Rik in the Young Ones.

Fucking Lucas.

From 2013 to 2018 (the last set of published accounts), we had generated £167m of cash (revenues less costs) that could be spent on transfers. We spent a net of £282m on transfers, ergo we spent more than we earnt over those 5 years. Maybe there is a bit of book balancing going on, spending more than you earn is not really a sustainable business model. The shareholder loan for the Main Stand redevelopment was meant to have been paid off over 5.5 years at roughly £20m a year, over the first 2 years we paid off £10m compared to the expected £40m, that could be one thing that cash is being used for and constraining the budget

Yeah. I want to swap my 80yr old mum for Alexandra Daddario. I fear both myself and Real Madrid will be disappointed.

Yeah, I think if he'd started well and faded I'd have gone with a 5, but because he improved and was playing well before the injury against Barca, it influences how I saw his season overall. Based on how he finished the season, 5 would have just felt a little harsh.